Mood:  incredulous

   The not nice ex mentioned something in an email to the me the other day. She said something like I should "get over" my non friendship with her these past 6 years or so.

   Folks, I've said this before, don't hang with people who are mean to you. If the write mean things about you, if they create problems, if they bring you court issues, keep them out of your life as much as you can.

   My ex thinks she's always right. She can keep that thought. The past few years have been nicer because I DON'T talk to the ex as friends. I know I have more piece of mind that she is off my friends list.

   Long ago I tried to work for a resolution to the differences my ex and I have. She wanted no part of it. She was convinced she and she alone was correct. To get along we would have had to find a middle ground for both of us. Things have gotten worse between us since then. It looks like we will never fix things.

   Is this so bad? I think not. My 2 older kids have been impressed by their mom to believe she is correct. I believe in time they will understand. Not getting along keeps the tension and anxiety down.

Later,

TBB

Mood:  chillin'

   Friendship between 2 parties means that each person must be agreeable with the way the other person is.

   It seems my ex might think that she friendship means something else as well. It seems that despite me firmly not liking a lot about the way she is, that friendship is possible.

   This is wrong on her part. She has done and continues to do disrespectful things to me. There is no time when any status will change until something is formally worked out between us. She has her reasons. I still have all the reasons I had back when we started marriage counseling. I have more reasons now. There is no status quo, there is no context for being friends. We both have our reasons.

   Yet it seems she would think that it's all over, she is right and that's all there is to it. WRONG.

   Until a day when / if we work things out between us, there can't be friendship.

Mood:  quizzical

   Wow, now the evil ex is lapsing into memory problems. Ya' see, right now she is under a belief that when I have my youngest daughter outside regular time, I don't care whether I get her back to her mom on time. Yeah, I know, crazy. After her and I talked special visit times with our daughter on our birthdays, the ee seem to think I may not bring her back in a timely manner.

   This is a new mental low for the ee. I always have tried to get the daughter back on time. The ee has slid out into crazy doubt. She seems to now think I wouldn't try to always be on time. Who knows what she thinks really? She has shown thoughts which suggest she is going off the deep end.

   It seems the ee wants particular wording regarding getting my daughter back. The ee refuses to allow any shared time with my daughter outside court ordered time because of this. As she is whack enough to apply this to me. it will applied to her until she changes her mind.

   Folks, beware of individuals like this who suffer from vain self righteousness. They eventually convince themselves they are always right. They won't arbitrate, counsel or mediate. Instead they remain wallowing in their dark opinions. Nothing good ever comes to anyone as a result of this.

  So it continues... 

Mood:  happy

Let's get this straight,

There won't be any contrition from me toward my ex. When we separated that was it. The divorce set everything back to default. I'm just as put off at the things she did as she may be with me. 

Somehow it seems the ex thinks I owe her something, not. I think she feels like she still is the special someone with whom I owe something to, not.      GET OVER IT.

Since divorce she has done some bad things. As we are adults she shouldn't be surprised that when she treats me bad, I will treat her the same. Though I'm tempted to treat her with less respect than I give others, I won't. Mutual respect is what she will always get from me. 

She recently had the nerve to suggest I don't even be around her when on public property. She mentioned "boundaries" I should respect. What a joke. I have boundaries she crossed long time ago.

Her formidable attitude is lost on me. I push back. Grow up TM. I've nothing to prove to you that you don't have to prove to me. The burning of your dark heart improperly infuences our children making them cynical. You do a diservice to parenting. 

Mood:  d'oh

    I've been thinking about the evil ex. She has a lot of nerve to act the wicked way she does.

    It's particularly rude for her to impress wrong thoughts on my 2 oldest daughters.

    The evil one spontaneously sought and got 100% child support.

    When my oldest daughter turned 18 the evil one told me she would no longer tell me about my daughter's medical situations. If my daughter wanted to tell me she would. Never did the evil ex link this to the fact I stopped paying legal child support on this daughter when she turned 18.

    My daughters have never approached me about helping them out. How could they possibly assume I won't help if they don't ask. do you suppose they think that I have to pay their mom direct to help them?

   What a f****n' lot of nerve my ex has. Taking way more money from me than she fairly deserves then impressing on my older kids that I don't care to help them financially. The evil ex is the sole reason I DON"T have the money to help. The evil ex needs to wrap herself around the idea she is selfish, mean and wrong.

    When the evil ex took that money I told her to save the balance she didn't deserve so she could help the big girls beyond child support.

    All this time the evil one should have been impressing on the kids that the money comes from BOTH parents.

   Any suggestion from the evil ex that I need to "sell something" or "downsize" is beyond reasonable comprehension. She needs to put a cork in it and reverse her evil ways.

    The evil ex should have impressed on my children that she and she alone is the reason why it is difficult to help them.

    Most sad, it seems my older children confuse lack of money support for lack of love. We don't communicate. This is squarely the fault of the evil ex. It is the ultimate selfish dark deed. 

Mood:  cool

     What defines an informal friendly relationship? I know what does not.

      Distrust over hearsay

      Disdainful attitudes

      Sticking the other for excess child support

      Spontaneous court action

      Vanity, self righteousness

      Suggestions of sexual impropriety with a daughter

     These are some of my reasons why I won't be normalizing things with my ex. Especially the last point.  I think the ex needs to check on the guys she keeps around my daughter long before she even brazenly made her vile suggestions.

      There are many more reasons including infidelity.

       My advice, don't EVER be friends with someone who does any of the above things to you.  Give them back the attitude they give you. What comes around goes around. Push back, don't ever let them think they are right. Mutual respect.

Mood:  not sure

      Sigh, Looks like this upcoming holiday season won't be as happy as it could be again this year. No olive branch for the ex. She still sits on her ersatz self righteous throne.  Her odd belief is that she is never wrong it seems. She chooses for her and I not to have a responsible adult parental relationship for our kids. She won't get beyond her petty attitude. She won't respect me, blows me off. Judge not lest you be judged. I don't expect contrition from her and she knows she won't get it from me. I won't ever vindicate her poor decision making. It's over, move on. She should accept the best she can do is try to get along. Dump that dark spot that clouds her soul. I keep on pushing on. My resolve strengthened more with each bitter move she makes. We can hope one day a little light of goodness will flicker to life in her heart.

TBB

Mood:  loud

    I work for a dealer of Toshiba phone systems. I have been a phone tech for 20 years, Toshiba systems are the most difficult I've ever worked with. Toshiba has an aggressive marketing department but the product is not up to snuff. Toshiba systems are very unpredictable and often take hours to do simple things. Updates are constantly needed to make the products work right. Toshiba over complicates everything. Task that are easy in other systems suck with Toshiba. If you want to dial into an ies32 voice mail you have to use microsoft netmeeting to get to it. Backing the voicemail up is a drive mapping horror. 

  What really bites is the tech support. Their leader, Pedro the Bull, actually thinks they are top notch. He has the nerve to say "congratulations" when he successfully guides you through one of their painful process. Doesn't he know that he is tech support to SERVE techs? His lack of humility shows how out of the picture he is. The other tech support guys seem nice but Pedro is a pain. Buck up boy.

    Kroger is a big grocery chain who have dropped Toshiba, excellent. Now Kroger uses Nortel BCM 400 switches. I'm glad I have Nortel certification. I will be doing work for Kroger installing BCM 400s. Nortel is in bankruptcy but I see a better future for them than Toshiba.

    Suck it up Toshiba. Phone systems are to serve end users first, then be valueable assets to to the dealers. Get it together.

Mood:  chillin'

      Lordy readers, my whole area had freezing rain. It turned to ice and coated everything. The next day you would hear loud pops then thuds in the snow. Tops of trees snapped off and fell. This is my front yard...

    Very minor roof damage but lots of trimming and sawing. I was with out power for 5 days. Fortunately I have 2 driveway entrances...

 
   Most of the ice and snow is gone. The smaller branches piled up. The big branches will get the chainsaw. Thanks for the support of friends and family.

   I wonder what an ice storm in New York City is like?

TBB 

Mood:  not sure

   Again this year I can tell already that the ex is going to be a stick in the mud for her kids this Christmas. Each year I hope she will get over her self righteous vanity.  Each year I wish the ex and I would try to be friends for the kids. This year like last, my ex gave me a birthday card. This year like last I threw it away without reading it. I hate false attempts at friendship. Getting along for the kids is the best it will get. She may put on her blinders but she knows that I can't and won't be friends with the kind of people who would write bad about me on the world wide web.

   Sorry kids. I hope your mom gets over it.

   TBB