NASA: WHO GIVES A SHIT?

 

Generally I support President Bush, but there are certain things that make me scratch my head and wonder, “Is he really THAT DUMB?” 

"Oh boy! Dick guess what? I'm going to Mars to find alieums!"

 

Bush has announced that he intends to fund a mission to Mars.  Honestly this is one of the worst ideas ever.  We’ve already wasted billions of dollars on retarded robots to find out that there are NO cool aliens on Mars.  However there was a fascinating discovery… ICE. Wow how cool is that??? Get bent sci-fi nerds, there hasn’t been life on Mars in millions of years and when there was, it was just a bunch of boring ass bacteria raping each other.

 

40 or so years ago we landed on the moon.  Ok, so what?  The moon sucks crap!  There’s nothing there.  You would think that after discovering this, the United States would cut funding to the space program.  (At least the lunar landing missions)  For some reason the government found it necessary to keep going to the moon and to continue pumping billions of dollars straight into hell.

 

The usual response to this is a nerdy, “YOU ARE IGNORANT!  WE CAN’T FORGET NASA! WE NEED SATELLITE AND STUFF!!”

 

Yeah ok, satellites could be sent into orbit unmanned.  Even sending that worthless shit robot to Mars wasn’t such a bad idea.  I’m not against trying to explore the unknown, but after we know that a place is a meaningless craphole, stop going there.  As of right now, there is no realistic mission that we need to send humans on.  It is a waste of money and an unneeded risk of human life.

 

“REMEMBER IN STARWARZ  THEY SEND THE MILLENIEUNEIUM FALKON INTO HYPERDRIVE. LOL IF YOU EVER WANT THAT WE NEED TO GIVE NASA MONEY ITS SIMPLE.”

 

Hey dickshot great point!  Ever since the US and other stupid countries have been sending science nerds like you into orbit, startling and revolutionary discoveries have been made.  Let’s take a look at this grand list!

 

1.                      In space, shit floats!

2.                      Aliens

3.                      Perpetual motion machine

4.                      Time travel

5.                      Pee goes up

6.                      Alternate power source(s)

 

Yep that’s all folks!  Imagine how many different ways we could have spent that money!  Fascinating! We wasted billions just to discover that stuff can float in space because there is no gravity.  Any asshole could have told you that decades ago.

 

The ISS (International Space Station) should be renamed.  I propose that it could still be called the ISS, but the letters should stand for IKnow-Space-Sucks.  American and Russian (Yes very international, consisting of astronauts from all of two nations) fucktoids are sent up there to float around and suffer.  The food sucks and there’s nothing to do.  Sounds like prison.  Maybe we should send Martha into space.