American Phantasy - Land Before Time X

Land Before Time X

Now, as we all know, the Land Before Time 1 was a good movie. It was very good for little kids and introduced a bunch of characters that said things wrong and had the same views of life as little kids had. It was NOT another Disney Musical. So, when the movie became popular, what'd they do? They made another. Land Before Time 2 started the horrible migraine that is the Land Before Time Movies today.

April eleventh, two thousand and two. There are nine Land Before Time Movies, and I've decided that I'm not going to take this crap anymore. I've decided to buy the Land Before Time rights from Disney, or whoever the fuck made those godforsaken things, and end them. So, I did. I bought the franchise. I've got to say, however, that those Disney bastards got the better deal. I had to spend two hundred sixty one dollars and seven cents just to pick a piece of dog shit off the curb. This crap goes on no longer.

Exploiting my new franchise, I have decided to make one last movie. Everything ends in a ten. And when you have the tenth and it's new and innovative, you've got to call it 'X.' So, the next movie is called the Land Before Time X - Luv Story. Enjoy my textual trailer.

WARNING, THIS PREVIEW IS RATED NC-17. ONLY PEOPLE 17 YEARS AND OLDER MAY WATCH IT. THANK YOU, ENJOY. SCROLL DOWN IF YOU ARE 17.
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THANK YOU. ENJOY.

Lights up, "Land Before Time X" flashes across the screen.
ANNOUNCER: The Land Before Time X...
"Luv Story" appears with a 'SPLAT' noise under LBTX.
ANNOUNCER: Luv Story.
Screen fades, starts with Little Foot. He is walking towards a treeline. Strange grunting noises sound from behind the trees. Little Foot hears them.
LITTLE FOOT: What is that? It sounds like someone is attacking my grandma! I've got to save her!
Little Foot jumps through the treeline, only to see his grandfather humping his grandmother.
LITTLE FOOT: What are you doing grandpa? Why are you gurting grandma?
GRANDMA: He's not hurting me dear. He's just... he's just... um...
GRANDPA: I'm just showing her that I'm a grown up dinosaur. That I'm a MAN.
GRANDMA: Yes, that's exactly right.
LITTLE FOOT: Okey, Grandma. I just came to ask you if I could go onto the big great fire rocky thing. Can I?
GRANDMA: The big great fire rocky thing? No, Little Foot. Only grown-ups can go there. Go away now.
Little Foot leaves, all the while talking to himself.
LITTLE FOOT: I want to go to the big great fire rocky thing, but how will I? They said I need to be a grown-up... hey... wait a sec... I need to go find Sarah!
Little Foot leaves and then finds Sarah by herself.
LITTLE FOOT: Sarah! I need to show that I'm a grown-up!
Little Foot jumps onto Sarah and tries to hump her, only to be shaken off.
SARAH: Silly! Three Horns don't screw Long Necks! We only screw OTHER Three Horns, big Three Horns, little Three Horns, but no long necks!
LITTLE FOOT: Shut the Hell up, Sarah! I need to hump you now so that I can prove I am a grown-up and go to the big great fire rocky thing!
SARAH: Oh, in THAT case... let's screw! I want to go to the big great fire rocky thing!
Little Foot mounts Sarah, only to get shook off again.
SARAH: Oh you stupid silly! Three-horns do it doggy style!
LITTLE FOOT: Oh! Like this?
Little Foot changes positions. Sarah doesn't say anything, only grunts in pleasure. They're done. Little Foot gets off.
LITTLE FOOT: Thank you, Sarah! But I think I'd better go find Ducky, too, so that they will be sure to believe me!
Sarah does not say anything. She merely collapses with happiness. Little Foot leaves., Sarah is left lying on her back.
SARAH: quietlyLittle Foot, come back... come back...
Little Foot finds himself at the lake, where Ducky and Spike are swimming together. Little Foot jumps in.
DUCKY: Hello, Little Foot! What are you doing in here?
SPIKE: Darrr...
LITTLE FOOT: I need to prove that I'm a grown-up so that I can go to the big great fire rocky thing.
DUCKY: Oh, I would like to go, too, me too.
Little Foot mounts, er, squashes Ducky.
DUCKY: painfully You can not do that, no no. You are too heavy, you'll squah me aaaalll up! No no no.
SPIKE: Darrr....
LITTLE FOOT: No, I need to, Ducky! We need to do it now, or else we can't go to the big great fire rocky thing!
Little Foot starts to try to thrust, but Ducky escapes through the water.
DUCKY: Okay, Little Foot. But let me get on top of you. It will work better.
Little Foot obliges, and starts to thrust. Ducky screeches throughout the entire thing.
DUCKY: That was not fun, no no no, but now we can go to the big great fire rocky thing! Yes yes yes yes!!! But my poor, poor, vagina. It is very sad.
SPIKE: Darrr....
Spike jumps on top of Ducky and tries what Little Foot did.
DUCKY: No no no no no!!! SPIIIIIKKKKKEEEE!! STOOOPPPP!
Ducky squeals in pain, and then explodes. Ouch.
SPIKE: Darrr...
LITTLE FOOT: Oh no! Ducky is dead! Oh well. I'm going to go find my grandparents now and ask them if I can go to the big great fire rocky thing!
Little Foot gathers his friends and then goes to his grandparents, no longer at it.
LITTLE FOOT: I did just what you did, grandpa, so now I'm a grown-up! Can I go to the big great fire rocky thing now?
GRANDMA: Oh my god! faints
Long Pause
GRANDPA: That's my boy!

END

Wait a few months and the movie will be done. I'll announce its completion when It's done.

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