Opening is shots of Conch Street, Krusty Krab, etc.
"Welcome to Binkini Bottom, where you can find sea sponges, pink starfish, and even a squid or two. CHAPTER ONE: Beginning of the Beginning" -Narrator
"Well, I met Patrick at Goo Lagoon. He was at the snack bar and I bet him I could eat more sea dogs than him. We tied and we got into a huge argument. We've been best friends ever since!" -Spongebob
"I really don't understand why you want to know how I started my boating school." -Puff
"Don't worry, we're not REALLY using this on screen" -Narrator
"Good. Because I think I mentioned a year ago that I once changed my name and started another boating school..." -Puff
"And...cut! Great job, Puff!" -Director
"Ahhh, give me that tape!!!" -Puff (tackles camera man)
"Can you explain to me how the IJLSA started?" -Narrator "Ah, the IJLASA. Well it all started in uh, in...um...uhhhhhh..." -Mermaid Man
"Yes?" -Narrator
"uhhhhhhhhhh..." "We'll get back to him..." -Narrator
"Well, this pineapple house idea started long ago. I believe that it was 1980, and..." -Spongebob
Camera turns hazy "Hey, man, whazzup? -Spongebob
"Oh, I be just chillin here in my hometown peeps." -Patrick "Say, this is a pretty rad house party Squidward is holding for us!" -Spongebob
"Yeah, and what makes it even more radical is that we weren't even invited!" -Patrick
Human-sized pineapple lands next door "Whoa, in totally groovy condition..." -Spongebob
Flashback-Ends
"So, what's that the answer you were looking for?" Narrator is asleep
"Well, its time to move on to the contorvorisal show! As the show began to strethen, the alliences of the characters weakened. Patrick and Spongebob found them in contorvorsies and arguments in almost every taping of the show, and Squidward was simply being too realistic. You see, when we left it up to the characters to confess their feelings to a camera, Squidward was first to confess his feelings about the reality underwater show." -Narrator
"You see, I hate everyone. I hate Gary, because I've never understood a single word he's said. I hate Spongebob, because of his nautical, uh, stupidity. I hate Patrick because he can't be more fat and dumb. I hate Sandy because she's a showoff and I can't stand that stupid accent. I hate Larry because he's so popular. I hate Squillium because I hate Squillium. I hate Mr. Krabs because he makes me pay for nothing. I hate Mrs. Puff because I think she's ugly. I hate everyone else because they nag me day and out. I hate..." -Squidward
"OK, I think we get the picture, Squidward." -Narrator
"Well, you know, Squidward is better than me. I mean, being rich is fine and all, but I would kill to work at that Krusty Krab. (pauses) You ARENT printing this, are you?" -Squilliam
"Hmm, sorry, can you repeat that?" -Narrator
"Well, I've always hated most of the characters, both on-screen and off. Except that Squidward guy. His mean ways can be so...cute!" -Pearl
"You think Helga is cute?" -Narrator
"Yes, but not as cute as that Pearl whale." -Plankton
(hears Pearl screaming) "Oops." -Plankton
"Let's check on Mermaid Man." -Narrator
"uhhhhhhhh..." -Mermaid Man
"We'll let him think about it for a few more minutes." -Narrator
"As the crew became worse and worse friends, the show looked hopeless. Or was it? Yes it was. Or was it? Maybe." -Narrator
"Well let me tell you something. I tried (sobbing). I really tried. I hate that stupid cube!" -Larry "Umm...am I allowed to ask you why?" -Narrator "Well its sort of like this..." -Larry (disco music oversounds Larry's talking) "And that's why I hate him." -Larry "That (sobbing) was so beautiful!" -Narrator
"You're not really printing this right?" -Krabs "Uhhhhhhh...no, no, of course not." -Narrator "OK, well, when I don't make a single dollar in a day, I turn purple then cry and put on my diaper while sucking a bottle and run to my mommy." -Krabs
(snickers) "Barnacles..." -Krabs
"Uhhhhhhhhh..." -Mermaid Man
"Hey, I think it's time to answer!" -Narrator
"I'll answer!" -ManRay
"Oh no! It's ManRay and the Dirty Bubble!" -Narrator (ManRay and Dirty Bubble walk under missle toe) "Oh, shoot. Well, Bubble, you're the only one here, so..." -ManRay
"Oh no, not the teeth!" -Bubble
(popping noises) "And another day saved by Mermaid Man!" -Narrator "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." -Mermaid Man
"My first dollar was earned actually when I was two. I think that it was when I was two. I was in pre-school, and this rich kid had a piece of green paper in his backpack. So, I took it, smelled it, tasted it, and felt it and found out that it was pretty good. From then on, every last dime counts, you know." -Krabs "Yeah..." -Narrator
"You want to know a little known fact? My life insurance rates are at 50%! That's mainly because, I've failed Spongebob 27 times!" -Puff "Ahh, we learn that Spongebob really made everyone's lives!" -Narrator
"So, we have our show. Everyone really came together in the end (with exception of Squiddy). But the Patrick of Patrick Star really brought out the stars in everyone! I'm Steven Hillenburg, and I'll say - have a nice day!" -Narrator
THE END
