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The Pink Flamingo

Created by Joshua Gamon

 

The Clothes Make the Man

An original three-page story

 

June 6, 2001

 

The Pink Flamingo and all characters are created by and (c) Joshua Gamon 1996. Any duplication of any character, name, or any part of this script without the express written permission of Joshua Gamon is strictly prohibited.

 

Final Draft

 

The Clothes Make the Man:

 

A small time crook with big time ambitions picks the wrong time to steal the costume of the Pink Flamingo.

 

 

 

PAGE 1     (five panels)

 

 

PANEL 1

 

We have a bird’s eye view of a long and narrow alleyway between two redbrick buildings. A man is running through the alleyway knocking over a trashcan in his way. He is clenching the costume of the Pink Flamingo is his right hand as he runs—it flows behind him like a ribbon caught in the wind.

 

SFX:            CRASH

           

MAN (NARRATIVE 1):          NORMAL THIEVES SPEND YEARS PLANNING THE PERFECT DIAMOND HEIST, BUT WHAT DO I DO?

 

MAN (NARRATIVE 2):           I RIP OFF THE PINK FLAMINGO’S COSTUME FROM A LAUNDRY MAT.

 

 

 

PANEL 2

 

The man has stopped at the edge of the alleyway, and is supporting himself up against the building with his free hand at an attempt to catch his breath. He is looking down at the ground, and we get our first good look at his face. He is a tall and homely looking individual with thick glasses, wild short hair, and buckteeth that are not too exaggerated. He looks like a tall Woody Allen.

 

Staring up at him from the lid of a trashcan is a white alley cat with a collar around its neck.

 

MAN (NARRATIVE):             NOW I’VE BEEN A GOD DAMN MAGNET FOR EVERY COSTUMED FREAK THIS CITY HAS TO OFFER.

 

MR. KITTY:                       MEOW, BABY.

 

MAN (EXHAUSTED) 1:         SHUT UP…

 

MAN (EXHAUSTED) 2:         CAT?

 

 

 

PANEL 3

 

We have almost an identical panel but this time there are dozens of alley cats surrounding the man, and a very large shadow is cast over his body completely swallowing it. The head of the shadow has mouse ears. The man is still looking down, but beads of nervous sweat have formed on his forehead. His eyes have gone wide with fright.

 

CAT ESEMBLE:            MEOW!

 

MOUSE (O.P.):            WHY HAVE YOU GONE AND HURT MY KITTY’S FEELINGS?

 

 

 

PANEL 4

 

We now have a full frontal shot of MOUSE. He is a 7’2” well over five-hundred pound man wearing fake plastic mouse ears on his head and a rubber mouse nose covering his own. The man’s back is to the ‘fourth wall’ of the panel, and Mouse towers over him. There are cats everywhere.

 

MAN 1:                       I-I SEEN YOU ON THE N-NEWS BEFORE. YOU’RE THE R-RODENT, RIGHT?

 

MOUSE 1:                   NO. MOUSE.

 

MAN 2:                       O-OH SORRY... THE SUPER… HERO?

 

MOUSE 2:                   NO, THE SCITSOPENIC KILLER.

 

MAN 3:                       DAMN. WELL, IT WAS WORTH A SHOT—

 

 

 

PANEL 5

 

Action shot. The man dodges underneath Mouse’s mammoth-swinging fist that punches right through the corner of the red brick building.

 

MAN (SCREAMS):            AHHHHH!

 

SFX:                CR-UNCH!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAGE 2    (five panels)

 

PANEL 1

 

The man made his way out of the alleyway and into a busy city street.

 

 

 

PANEL 2

 

Mouse is sitting down in the alleyway sulking. Some of the cats are sleeping on his lap, others are using him for a scratching board, and one white cat is sitting on Mouse’s outstretched hand.

 

MOUSE 1:       HUMF!

 

MOUSE 2:       CREAMY… CHEESY!

 

MR. KITTY:     OH, SHUT UP.

 

 

 

PANEL 3

 

The man is now covered in sweat, his clothes are soaked through, and he is now running down the crowded sidewalk pushing people aside as he goes. He looks like he is about to drop dead of a heart attack he is pushing so hard. He is looking over his shoulder as he runs.

 

MAN NARRATIVE 1:            “LET’S MOVE TO THE BIG CITY,” MY WIFE SAID. “YOU’LL BE BORED LIVING IN THE SUBURBS,” SHE SAID.

 

PEDESTRIAN KID:               WATCH WHERE YOU STEP, PUNK!

 

MAN NARRATIVE 2:            THOSE SUBURBS ARE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW. WHAT’S NEXT?

 

 

 

PANEL 4:

 

The man slams face first into an unsuspecting male police officer.

 

SFX:                WHAM!

 

 

 

PANEL 5:

 

We are now at ground level where we can see the police officer’s feet in the foreground, and the man was knocked to the ground. His glasses are hanging halfway off his face, and the Pink Flamingo costume is draped over his head.

 

MAN 1:                       I’M SO SORRY, OFFICER. T-THIS ISN’T HOW IT LOOKS. I-I—

 

POLICEMAN 1:             WELL CRAP ME ON A PLATTER! WHY AREN’T YOU IN GEAR, FLAMINGO?

 

MAN 2:                       HUH?

 

POLICEMAN 2:             HAVEN’T YOU HEARD? THE CITY’S UNDER SIEGE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAGE 3    (five panels)

 

PANEL 1

 

We are now in the Mayor’s office where a plump African-American male is tied to a game show wheel attached to his wall; much like the magical act of throwing knives. UNBREAKABLE, a man who looks like a walking glass sculpture is seen levitating two- dozen razor sharp shards of glass in the air. Half of the room has been turned into glass sculptures.

 

POLICEMAN CAPTION: UNBREAKABLE IS THREATENING TO TURN THE MAYOR INTO BROKEN GLASS…

 

 

PANEL 2

 

We are now in a large graveyard where, the MAD VIOLINIST, an elf-like man dressed in a tuxedo, is squatting over a tombstone playing the violin. Around him, walking zombies are attacking members of the SWAT team.

 

POLICEMAN CAPTION (CONT):     THE MAD VIOLINIST IS RAISING AN ARMY OF THE UNDEAD IN AMUSEMENT PARK…

 

 

 

PANEL 3

 

We have an aerial shot over the city where a huge spaceship shaped like an 8-Ball is seen. We can see dozens of little spores descending to the surface.

 

POLICEMAN CAPTION (CONT): AND THE 8-BALL’S SHIP JUST APPEARED OVER THE CITY.

 

 

 

PANEL 4

 

The man is now looking down at the Pink Flamingo costume in his hands.

 

 

 

PANEL 5

 

The man is now walking way from the police officer that is now surrounded by a bunch of 8-Ball spheres.

 

POLICE OFFICER:            WHERE IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU GOING?

MAN:                            TO RETURN THIS TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER.

 

The End.