Transcribed
from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Tlyco@aol.com
[Mark
is behind a desk, as Bobby's father, talking on the phone. The
conversation is hardly audible and may be transcribed here wrong.
Also, it sounds like Comedy Central changed 2 parts in this skit when
Mark says "screw" because the sound appears to not fit. This
could also be wrong.]
[On
phone]
Mark:
That ain't good to ya? That ain't good? No, I told you that's the
price. Well, screw ya! Alright, well talk you you later, Barney. Bye.
[Hangs
up, addresses audience]
I
started with one truck. One truck. . .you know. But, I worked hard and
I saved every cent. And when I had enough money? I bought another
truck. My wife drove one and I drove the other one. We worked 365 days
a year, day and night. Sure we were tired, but we delivered, that's
what people remember. And when we found that we had enough money? We
bought another truck. And it was about, ah. . .oh five months after
that, we bought _another_ truck. I had four trucks. Competition was
startin' to notice me. Some of them tried to screw me! But, I went
over, I talked to them like gentlemen, you know: parlez, parlez. And,
uh, we got together and we screwed this other guy. He went under. .
.and at the auction, I bought one of his trucks!
Ah,
times were good. You know? My wife--she quit drivin'. We had our first
kid--named a truck after him! But then that friggin' recession hit.
[tears up] I had to sell two trucks. Some guys wound up truckless!
But, me? I worked harder than everyone. I never gave up. Not once. And
when, at last, I bought another truck? *That* one was the sweetest
truck I *ever* bought. Ever! Since then, I built my empire together
one truck at a time. That's my philosophy: One truck at a time.
You
know, the other day this kid comes in to see me. He was lookin' to buy
a used truck. Normally I would've ripped him off. But he was 18, 19,
20, something like that, and it was his first truck. So, I gave him a
deal. Made me smile.
[picks
up phone and talks, not audible.]