Blog Bounce Back
This is a response to Sam's blog (he posted the entry twice!!!) which was in response to my blog. his two entries did have a couple of diffeent points though.

firstly, i don't lie when i say i'm ok. ok is simply i standard that is diferent for me then for others.

secondly, i don't hide my side for fear of getting hurt, in fact i don't hide it. it's there, just unnoticed as the other sides are more prominent and shield the side unless i express it specifically.

btw, nikki agrees with what sam says, although, i must disagree with both of you. that is because you do not see the whole chess game, just a certain perspective i have given.

will post more later, a new pc just arrived, so the next post i make may be of a new computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's Going On
Wednesday was TYG Extra on Heaven. I led it. great positive feedback, it went really well. hopefully i can make next week's on Hell just as good.

Thursday had a meeting with Frankie about a future TYG Extra. went really well, got it all planned out. It's gonna be fun and good.

Today, Friday, is Miss George's funeral. my mum knew her quite well, they were good friends, and now they are in heaven together. not going, it's on right now, probably quite full, but it's in my mind.


that's what's going on at the moment. i'll put other stuff in my next entry.

Not a part of this world
made up with stewart. sort of. well, stew sorted things out, so things are cool.

sam's blog is interesting. well, his last entry was. well, sort of. no surprises so far, which is probably a good thing.

teacher passed away recently. stew and kath have said they going to ehr funeral. my mum knew her quite well. she taught me for 2 or 3 years. my dad is going to her funeral. i haven't decided. probably won't, since the funeral is gonna be packed to the brim. i don't like death. i don't like cancer. i don't like the macmillan unit either. well, i do like them, cause they are absolutely brilliant, but i don't like them because when people go there, they go there to die.

i don't think anyone really understands me. they don't understand me because they don't know the real me. they either see the one side, which is my fun side, the side i put on each day and i deserve an oscar for showing. or they see the more serious side, the christian side, the realistic side, the side where my knowledge, intelligence and wisdom comes from.

but to know me, they need to understand my creative side. some people know some parts of it, but people really don't know that side that buzzes about in my head. and then there's the other side. the side that really defines me. it's the side no-one sees, the side no-one realises is there, and the side i live with every day.


you know, i found it funny when stew mentioned how he wished nikki was allowed to go to parties like the one he had the other night, while i would be allowed to go, but am never invited.

i also find it funny when people react a certain way to comments of mine because of how humourous i am in nature, yet if said by someone else they have a totally different reaction.

i found it funny when sam questioned my wisdom and acted all holy about things because he has never asked or received any of my brilliant wisdom, then he is shocked at the realisation that he made a massive mistake, something i had been trying to point out to him from the beginning.

i found it funny how stew reacted to my comments, not talking to me for a long period of time, even attacking me with his blog, all because he didn't like what i said.

i found it funny when rating sense of humour in tyg extra for tyg top trumps cards that were never made, that people rated me, me how tells lots of jokes, me who laughs at lots of jokes, udnerstands different types of humour and finds lots of things funny, a 3, while charles, someone who doesn't get half the types of humour, is obsessed with a mildly funny movie thinking it is the funniest thing ever, and laughs in anticipaion of mildly funny joke, like a sound track being played at the wrong time, was rated a full 5. either people don't know me, or they are stupid. most likely a combination of both.

i'm an oddity. i care deeply about people, yet they don't ever show any care in return. i say show as i'm sure they do care, but if they don't show it, what use is it?

i'm here on this earth simply to prove the point that nice guys do finish last. but then, i'm sure people would debate that.


i really am not part of this world.

do you care?

does it matter?

are there any supporting characters in the story of my life?




this entry really has no end. it doesn't really have a beginning. it doesn't even really have a point. it's more of an echo.

*ECHO*

*Echo*

*echo*


Should i really end this entry here? Should i have ended it earlier? does what i've said make sense or not?

will anyone read this? probably. who? anyone i don't want to? anyone who doesn't understand?


i come to this blog, i read what other people read and think "i can't write that", the little things from the day, as my mind is always on the bigger picture. i'm always seeing the deeper meaning.

maybe that's why i just don't seem to fit. i'm not part of the art, i'm just looking at it. a spectator of life, not a player. can i be a player? do i want to be a player? is the life i see each day the type of game i want to play?


i can see one future of my life, which i like. i see another future, which is liveable. i don't see a third option, but there probably is one.





not a part of this world. perhaps this entry has gone on too long. perhaps not long enough.

either way, it was...




fun.


i'm just TSO.


i'm not a part of this world ...




yet

What is left to say?
Topic: The New Era
?

To Stew
1. in your other blog you said "Not even Sam knows my side of the story, and he's somehow forgiven me." because of that i sent a text saying i do forgive you, but the events still happened. forgive but not forget to sum up, yet you find this laughable.

2. "Simon, I haven't forgiven you for intruding like this and I'm not willing to talk to you for a while yet, otherwise I may end up loosing my temper and actually hurting you, its something I'm not willing to do." I would like to point out i haven't actually intruded, just written things in my blog. i haven't conveyed any of my opinions to anyone in person, and the only people i knew of who were reading my blog were you, who would be able to see my view of events, ad katherine, who makes up her own mind. i haven't been intrusive, just observative.

3. I hope what may be a problem is not a problem, and while you may have outrageous anger at me i am not an angry man. i have experience with my mum having cancer, and if you want to talk about anything or whatever, i am here for you. i have taken the previous entries from my blog from public viewing, since that is not an issue that needs to be focussed on at the present time, and also the fact that my blog seems to be getting passed on to people i didn't give it to myself.


Call me when you're ready to talk.

Simon

Phew!
Topic: The New Era
Helping people is hard work, but i helped someone called 'nomes' again today.

You know, i sit here in my chair and give people the greatest advice in the world. I don't know how I know what to say, i believe it is God given wisdom, and i do treasure it, because while it is hard work, it is my way of helping people.

Anyone can come to me for advice and i will give it. I will give myself to help you, as I care. But don't come to me unless you are willing to tell me everything, as I need to know all the facts to give you the right advice.

Giving advice is tiring. I am now worn out. But tomorrow, I will sit back in this chair, and do it all again. Why?

Because God Deserves It!


TSO

Ill
Topic: The New Era
I'm ill. Something cold related, been bothering my throat last couple of days, and I got stuff to do.

TSO

The Return
Topic: The New Era
Yes, yes, I have returned. The Spookacious One is back in business. So, what is new you ask?

At the time of my previous entries, I was in a place, a place that i am no longer at. The things mentioned then are no longer relevant, times have changed, and I have come to a new understanding of everything that did not exist before.

So, i'll use this to post useful and useless information, give advice to anybody who needs it, and to blog.


The Spookacious One


ps. I have changed my background picture once again. If it has eventually worked now let me know what you think.

Time
Topic: The Old Days
I think it's about time things were explained around here. It's about time the mysteries were given solutions, the questions were answered, and that people finally understood what's going on. Here are the answers, which unfortunately revolves around certain people who got up bloody lucky but think they don't. That is what I hate the most. Let me begin by giving you the names of the 3 parties involved:

Stewie - A nice guy who pines after the untouchables, and i pined after by just as many. He is in the lucky position of having a great group of friends, girls attracted to him, and just sits in a place many wish they could sit in. And he is not happy with what he has.

Nikki - "Get over it!" is the phrase of the day. So simple to say, so hard to do. he mum died over two years ago, and she is yet to get over it. But that is not her problem. She is afraid of the world. Se prefers to hide herself in romance novels, wishing she could have such joyous adventures, yet afraid to enter in to them. She has a number of good friends there for her, to provide her the support she needs, and a great male friend who would really want to go out wih her if she could just move on. You can't get over the death of your mum very easily, but you can move on with your life.

Kaherine - A girl who is 14 with a 27 year old boyfriend, in a long distance relationship. She also lieks Stewie, who likes her, yet they should not be together while she is with a boyfriend. Of course her relationship has problems, but that's expected when a man has a relationshp with a child. Yes child, as she is childish, possessive, and does not understand guys, relationships, or anything like that. She is too young, and therefore once the guy grows up a bit he'll obviusly ditch her for someone more mature. Then her flirtive self will go to stewie, where she'll do what she's been doing, which is acting like a slut. She doesn't belong with stewie, or the guy she likes to call soppy git. no wonder their relationship's in trouble. the only reason it isn't over is because i gave katherine some advice which she followed, meaning that for once she did something mature, which has so far saved their relationship.

and now, let me just add the fourth party, me:

Simon - my mum died just over a year ago. I'm not going out with anyone presently, do not have anyone in mind either. i am brilliant at advice giving, and know which way the world turns, and how it screws people over. i am also the least popular person out of the 4 people mentoned. why you ask? simple really. i'm honest. i'm good natured. i care for people. i am not the most attractive person in the world. and oh yes, my life really is crappy!


now, everyone else mentioned has it easy. Nikki has a hard life but with a group of friends to support her, and help her throug her tough times. Stewie is in a comfortable being popular position with lots of friends and a girl he likes who likes him back. Katherine has lots of guys after her, is in a long term relationship, and likes another guy of a closer distance. he only con is she is a childish slut.

while i am still suffering through my life after my mother's death, do not have a close group of friends to support me, do not have any popularity, do not have any girls after me, and yet i am the one who gives everybody all the great advice which helps them live their lives in a great way. The only person of the 3 i haven't advised is Nikki, since she wouldn't really be receptive of it, is Nikki, and she has all the up factors yet does not use them, and is therefore heading towards a lonely ground zero disaster where she will lose everything and come down to my level, where she will likely have trouble surviving, since she does nt have what i have, which is my strength of faith. it is only that which has allowed me to survive. It is noting to do with my own strength. that lasted great till the day when my mum died, when i walked in to the hospital after been taken out of school, and saw her lying on the bed, and had the knowledge that this was 90% likely to be her last day alive, when I juts broke down in to tears, and all the walls i put up in the months before since we found out my mum got cancer just fell apart. I am not strong enough to survive. The only reason I am still here is because God is here with me. I mask my pain with humour at school, but my pain is bigger then anyones. what i go through each day. and does anyone care? wen people ask how are you do they really care? Do they even realise. haven't they ever taken the time to look in to my eyes and see?

in my blog entry I talked about Surviving. Well time is up on how i used to survive. will no longer live like this. The people who are living that high life can figure out for themselves how to survive there. It's time I found a new way to survive.

The Spookacious One just closed his doors.

Simon

Another Day
Topic: The Old Days
Another day gone by. Nothing special really. Went to school. came home. Made my Smackdown character 10,10,10,10,10, went to Just Looking, it was pretty cool, with stewart and sam and charles and people there.

Anyway, got to do an IT test online.

Please post any questions you have about anything and I will endevour to answer them, although i don't gurantee to answer them well.

The Spookacious One