Random Things That Piss Me Off
I haven't updated in a while due to a combination of laziness and writer's block. I don't really have any major ideas to write about, but I do have some random thoughts on things that piss me off. Here we go.
-Cell phones really piss me off. Isn't it hard to believe that 5 years ago hardly anyone carried a cell phone? What's even more amazing is that those people actually lead productive and meaningful lives! They managed to survive in a world where they are not in constant contact with everyone! It's hard to believe, because just 5 years later, it's seems that no one can fathom living without their little tools of social acceptance. It's disgusting. Unless you work directly for the Pentagon, there's really no need to carry these little things around constantly. I could understand using them for emergency purposes, maybe. But people don't use them for emergency purposes, they basically use them to impress other people. It's ridiculous that a cell phone has become the instrument we use to gauge how popular someone is. If someone has a cell phone, they must be loved, they must have dozens of friends! I'd have no problem with cell phones if they were used responsibly by people, but they aren't. They're just used to impress other people. There's no need to talk to some asshole about how little Jimmy placed 3rd in the spelling bee while I'm at the restaurant, or at the movies, or at the store. Give up the cell phone people, and try to learn some self-reliance.
-Special effects piss me off. Haven't we had enough of this computer animation garbage? Sure, in 1996, we were all very impressed with the new technology. It was amazing, it opened the doors to new cinematic possibilities. But guess what? It's not impressive anymore! We've seen it all. Here's an idea, Hollywood, try writing an interesting STORY, with interesting CHARACTERS, in interesting SITUATIONS, and have them speak interesting DIALOGUE. Ask any respectable movie critic, or even an average movie fan, what their favorite movies are, and they'll rattle off The Godfather, The Shawshank Redemption, This is Spinal Tap, etc. You won't hear The Matrix, The Incredible Hulk, Spider-Man, or any other movie that heavily relies on computer effects to sell tickets (Monsters Inc., Toy Story, Ice Age, etc. being exceptions) mentioned. Yes, there is a place for special effects in movies, but if the plot revolves around transitioning from one special effect to another, then what's the point?
-Adam Sandler. I just don't find the man that funny.
-Girls who say that the most important quality about a man is a sense of humor. Bullshit! If that were the case, I'd be fucking Katie Holmes right now. Girls, you're just as shallow as us men, your favorite quality about a man is their looks first, or maybe their money. Sense of humor, sensitivity, and other phony qualities you say you look for in men are all secondary.
-All New York sports teams. With the exception of the Yankees, they're all losers! And the Yankees don't really count, because this is my page, and these are my rules. Now you're saying, "Carl, you retard, you were born in Chicago and I don't see many championships in that town." Good point, but I don't see Chicagoans having this attitude like their teams are the shit. Yes, I know the Cubs, White Sox, Bulls, Bears, and Blackhawks all suck. I'm not proud of them. I'm embarassed and ashamed to be fans of them. But these New York fans, on the other hand, still act like pretentious assholes based on the notion that their teams are automatically winners because they're from New York. As if being from New York means you're automatically great. Give me a break. If your team sucks, your team sucks, it doesn't matter where they are geographically located.
-The Smashing Pumpkins/Zwan. Does Billy Corgan not have the most retchid singing voice you ever heard? It's simply unbearable. I wouldn't mind introducing some legislation into Congress that would ban Corgan from making music.
-Current video games. I'm just not impressed with these graphically amazing yet shallow in gameplay video games that are coming out. I want to play a game that will eat a half hour of my time. I want to play a game that is simple and fun, and doesn't involve watching 20 minute cut scenes to get into the "story". I don't like any games that involve a story! Give me Mike Tyson's Punchout over these boring "next generation" games any day.
There are plenty more things, but those will be saved for another column when I have writer's block again.
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Email: RocketSauceTD@hotmail.com
