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Things that you never wanna hear....

.....Tayuya say:

"Everybody should just shut up and let me rule the world!"

"Hey guys! I just learned another bad word!"

"My boobs? I cut them off. They're useless."

"So THAT'S why Sakon likes my flute."

"I've decided to use a tuba to summon now."

..... Sakon say:

"Make Ukon quit touching me!"

"No, it's MY turn to go inside of YOU!"

"I wish you were never born, Ukon!" (since they're twins)

"Guess what? Ukon and I were switched at birth! I'M Ukon!"

"They just don't make two-headed helmets anymore."

..... Jiroubou say:

"DOG PILE!"

"I'm soooo hungry...."

"I feel like barfing....." (think about all that fits in his large stomach)

"I'm full."

"I think my robe is very unique, like Sakon's."

..... Kidoumaru say:

"I have an itch that I just can't reach."

"I've decided that every quip I hear that has a possibility of being mildly racist I'm going to bitch at. That means no more 'My soul is as black as night' stuff."

"I tied my hands in knots using spiderwebs, and now I'm stuck."

"Due to recent traumatic experiences, I'm arachniphobic. Sorry guys."

"Having six hands brings porn to a whole new level."

..... Ukon say:

"I'm tired of being your wingman, Sakon. I wanna get a good one once in a while too."

"I have to go back, Sakon. I can't fight anymore. I'm tired again."

"Doctor says I can only be awake for three hours a day."

"I'm narcoleptic."

"Sakon's body is calling me." (it just sounds wrong)

"Sakon's fat, Sakon's weak, he can't catch me, nya nya nya nya nya nyaaaah!"

"Hey, anyone wanna know what Sakon does when he's drunk/ what Sakon's most embarassing moment is/ what Sakon writes in his diary/ who and what Sakon's done/ what Sakon's most private secrets are?"

"I'm actually a rare type of fungus."

"I'm what happens when you say you have eyes in the back of your head."

"I find it especially hard to talk behind Sakon's back. I always feel like he's listening to every word I say."

.....Kimimaro say:

"I have SARS."

"I have AIDS."

"Necrophiliac!" (to someone who touches his ass because he's physically dead)

"'Contagious?' I asked. 'Really contagious,' Kabuto said."

"I have Osteoporosis."

"April Fools! I was never sick!"

"Don't listen to him! I'm the REAL Kabuto/Orochimaru!"

"I ACTUALLY come from the Hidden Village of Hotties."

"My original job choice was Stripper."

..... Kabuto say:

"What the hell?!? Apparently, I'm a licensed gynecologist."

"Pancreas, pancreas.... What is it and where does it go again?"

"Sometimes I like to have a little fun while I operate..."

"Hey (random name), you're not gonna need that liver, are you?"

"Just for you, I can sell you a new set of lungs for $50 per square inch."

"I don't know what the hell that is."

"Wait... I'm supposed to be spying on the LEAF?!?" (in the wrong country)

"Why can't we just revert back to the old rape and plunder style of taking over large cities?"

"Kabuto Yakushi: Badass Extraordinaire. Can you dig it?"

"How did I learn the Walking Dead technique? Well, it's a long story, but there I was, this hot female shinobi dead at my feet..."

"Ha! Your Rasengan didn't work because this shirt has a +5 against fire!

..... Orochimaru say:

"I started off just like Michael Jackson -- Black."

"My original job choice was daycare specialist."

"I want to be a contortionist now."

"My goal is to penetrate Kimimaro's impenetrable frame."

"I majored in Child Psychology in college."

"No, Sensei, not again, it hurts, I'll be a good boy now..."