MK and JH's Shaman King Fanfics
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Shaman King talk show by Misha Kushnir
Ep. 1- aaa
Ep. 2- aab
Ep. 3- aac
aaa SHAMAN KING TALK SHOW!! Ep. 1: Fun with Manta Oyamada and Ratings! (But mostly ratings)
(Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. I only own the characters Misha, Sir Eats-A-Lot, and Sensei Whacks-A-Lot at present. Also, sorry about the format. I'm not very experienced with this. And another thing. Don't read this if you're a Manta Oyamada fan. You won't like it- especially not the ending.)
(Misha:) Hi, and welcome to our new Shaman King talk show. I'm your host Misha, and this is our co-host, Sir Eats-A- Lot, who is a knight and my spirit partner. Oh, and we also have a co-co-host. His name is Sensei Whacks-A-Lot, a kung-fu ghost.
(S E-A-L (Sir Eats-A-Lot):) Hi.
(S W-A-L (Sensei Whacks-A-Lot):) Hi.
(Misha:) Now that we're done with our introductions, let's have our first guest. His name is Manta Oyamada.
(Manta walks onto the stage and sits down. The crowd claps a bit.)
(Misha:) Now I'll ask our victim- uh, I mean guest- his first question. Manta, in the beginning of the manga, why was your butt so big and wiggly?
(Manta:) What? My butt was not big and wiggly!
(Misha:) How would you know? You can't see your own butt. And I have proof right here.
(Misha pulls out a picture from Shaman King ch. 1. It shows Manta from behind.)
(Manta:) That's a fake!!
(Misha:) Right. Now, why are you a midget?
(Since Manta cannot say he's not short, he just goes red in the face.)
(Misha:) Whatever. I'll spare you the embarrassment and just move on to the next question. How much caffeine were you drinking in the first chapter? You were so tense and screamy and stuff.
(S E-A-L:) You're just being cruel.
(Misha:) What? It's the first episode. I want to have some fun.
(S W-A-L:) News flash! Our ratings are down by 99.99% because of child abuse.
(Misha:) Okay, okay, sorry Manta. Now I'll ask you normal questions. How do you feel watching Yoh battle?
(S W-A-L:) Our ratings are up again.
(Manta:) Well, I feel kind of puny and insignificant. I didn't really like that question.
(S W-A-L:) Our ratings are down again.
(Misha, looking kind of tense:) But you can't forget the battle with Lee Bailong! You saved the day when you got that wooden sword!
(S W-A-L:) Up...
(Manta:) Yeah, but if I didn't love Lee Bailong's movies so much we wouldn't have gotten in that mess.
(S W-A-L:) And down...
(Misha, sweating:) But it's not your fault! You didn't know that liking his movies would get you into a big mess!
(S W-A-L:) And up...
(S E-A-L:) I'm feeling nauseous.
(Manta:) Okay, I'll stop torturing you. Next question?
(Misha:) I don't have any more questions. The episode is over. Now, Manta, can I talk to you backstage?
(The credits start to roll. Screams and the sound of swords slashing flesh are heard.)
(Misha, with Manta's blood on him:) That's it for today. Watch the next violent episode!
aab SHAMAN KING TALK SHOW!! Ep. 2: A Talk With Arnold
(Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. But I do own Misha, Sir Eats-A-Lot, and Sensei Whacks-A-Lot. Also, once again, I'm sorry about the stinky format.)
(Misha:)Hi, and welcome to the Shaman King talk show. As you probably already know, I'm your host, Misha. Today we will be asking Arnold Schwartzenegger what he thinks of Shaman King. So, Arnold, what do you think of Shaman King?
(Arnold:) There are not enough guns. There must be more guns. There must be pistols and shotguns and machine guns and-
(Misha:) Okay, Arnold, okay. Now, let's take a look at this new Shaman King that you have envisioned.
(Manta Oyamada staggers across the stage with a bazooka that he can barely hold up. Arnold stares.)
(Arnold:) That is just not right.
(Misha:) But wait, there's more.
(Ren runs onto the stage with a shotgun.)
(Ren:) HAHAHAHAHAA! I AM ALL POWERFUL!! LET'S SEE THAT PUNY HEADPHONES KID DEFEAT ME NOW!! AMIDAMARU SHALL BE MINE!! COME, BASON!! INTEGRATE!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!
(Ren integrates with Bason and starts shooting everything in sight. People in the crowd start screaming and running around.)
(Misha:) Arnold! Do something!
(Arnold screams like a little girl and runs away.)
(Misha:) This is great. Just great. Looks like it's time to integrate.
(Misha starts to integrate with S W-A-L but before he gets far Ren turns toward the camera.)
(Misha:) NOOO!!! DON'T SHOOT THE CAMERAMAN!!!!
(Ren:) DIE!!! (Shoots cameraman.)
(The camera falls over on its side and a yell is heard. Misha quickly integrates and tackles Ren.)
(Misha:) That's all the time- we have- for this episode- We are experiencing- technical- difficulties- SOMEONE TURN THE *beep*ING CAMERA OFF!!!!
aac SHAMAN KING TALK SHOW!! Ep. 3: Enemies on the Same Stage...
(Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. I do, however, own Misha, Sir Eats-A-Lot, and Sensei Whacks-A-Lot. Again, sorry about the format.)
(Misha:) Welcome to the Shaman King talk show. As you should know by now, I am your host, Misha. Today we will be having Yoh Asakura and Ren Tao as our guests.
(S E-A-L:) What, at the same time!?
(S W-A-L:) That's insane!
(Misha:) No, it's not. I want to see what they do. So does the audience.
(Audience:) BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD!
(S E-A-L:) That's disturbing. I can't believe the audience is chanting 'blood.' What's this supposed to be rated again?
(Misha:) That's the producer's problem. Plus, do you think any little kiddies are watching this after that last chaotic episode with Arnold Schwartzenegger?
(S W-A-L:) Um...
(Misha:) Good. Now bring in the guests!
(Yoh and Ren are brought onto the stage. Both of them are tied to chairs.)
(Ren:) YOH ASAKURA!! I WANT AMIDAMARU!!! DIE, PUNY MORTAL!! DIE DIE DIE!!!
(Ren:) YOU INSULTED ME!!! DIE!!! VORPAL DANCE!!!
(Ren yells and starts gnawing at the ropes binding him to his chair.)
(S E-A-L:) Should we put duct tape over his mouth?
(Misha:) No! This is a talk show. So, Yoh, how do you feel knowing that you are tightly bound to a chair and a crazed psycho that wants to kill you is getting free of his chair?
(Yoh:) I'm just a little bit uneasy.
(S W-A-L:) I've always wanted to ask you-
(Misha:) Shut up. This is my show. So, Ren, how did it feel to be beaten by Yoh so violently and unexpectedly?
(Ren:) I HATE YOH ASAKURA!!!! MUST KILL!!! KILL KILL KILL!!! MUST CHOP INTO ITTY BITTY PIECES!!! MUST OBLITERATE THE STUPID SON OF A-
(Misha:) Okay, Ren, that's enough. Are you having trouble with those ropes?
(Ren:) STUPID ROPES!!! RELEASE ME, EVIL ROPES OF RESTRAINT!!! I MUST KILL THE HEADPHONES KID!!!!
(Misha:) Let me help you with those. (Misha pulls out a knife.)
(Yoh:) What are you doing!? That's not fair!! If he gets to hack at me, I should get to hack at him!!
(Misha:) Whatever. (Cuts Ren free.)
(Ren:) YES!!! REN KILL!!! KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!!! DIE!!! VORPAL DANCE!!!
(Yoh:) What the f-
(Misha quickly cuts Yoh free and jumps out of the way. Yoh dodges the attack just in time and the chair gets chopped in half. Yoh and Ren start to kill each other.)
(S E-A-L:) What are you doing?! This is senseless carnage!! Why did you cut their bindings, Lord Misha!?
(Misha:) Crowd ask, Misha deliver.
(Ren:) VORPAL DANCE!!!!
(Yoh:) SHOCKWAVE BUDDHA-GIRI!!!!
(Misha:) Shaman fight!! Must join shaman fight!! INTEGRATE!!!! RAPID TEMPO THINGY!!!!
(S W-A-L:) Well, since Misha is busy, I guess I'll say it. This is the end of the episode. Bye!
(Misha:) YESSS!!!! That's gonna leave a mark!!!!
- Misha Kushnir- Shaman King talk show
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