the archive

Me a la 'Goats'. mamfa is a nineteen year old Australian with a scottish ancestry, flaming red hair, and a personality to match. Many of her friends have remarked upon her passing resemblance to (short-haired) Rachel Summers. She denies any and all contact with any Summerses in any way, but as we all know, one in four people is a closet Summers. We think she's in denial.

She's very opinionated. This is not necessarily a bad thing - she's bisexual, and a passionate advocate of equality and equal thinking. All flames will keep her toasty warm, and she'll give your regards to Satan if (read: when) she sees him (her). She's also a feminist (no, really?) enjoys a Guinness or nine, and tends to kiss random people when drunk.

The third child of a musical family, she's a fair violinist, not a bad guitar player, and a bloody fantastic singer. Really, she could be famous, but she has Bobby-syndrome, i.e. She's insecure and uncertain of her true potential. Her compositions are amazing, and her lyrics inspired. Her random sketches are quite good too, and she can write. And write. And write. Stupid talented bitch that she is.

We've established the whole 'looks like Rachel Summers thing', but here's some details: She's pretty short: about five foot three, actually, and very skinny. Her ancestral Scottish skin burns like buggery under the Aussie sun, so her snub nose is covered with freckles. Her eyes are unusually big and blue, her mouth is wide, and her face is slightly round. She often calls her breasts "mashed potatoes" or "scrambled eggs" and bemoans the luck which gave everyone else "emu eggs, the smegging bastards." Her legs are short, she's fond of wearing kilts or corduroy pants, and she's generally seen wearing a scowl.

Her interests are far and wide. Like Toby (who she insists is NOT her masculine side coming out to scream bloody murder and testosterone) she loves drama, and is a wonderful actress. She lives her whole life on a stage, and we often can't tell if she's having us on or not. At school, she was awesome at English, Chinese, Vietnamese and European modern history, Music, Drama and surprisingly, chemistry. She used to be a ballet dancer, and was actually quite good. It's guaranteed to make you drool onto your shoes.
As general hobbyish interests go, she likes to perform stand-up comedy in seedy bars, sing at the top of her lungs in publics areas, rip off Star Wars and X-Men alike whilst simultaneously defending them to the death, and dream up huge, increasingly elaborate ways to emulate Brain and take over the world! Narf! Zort! Sh is an unashamed cartoon buff, and has admitted to watching daytime TV. She hates soaps (no, Australia doesn't get Passions. Sorry) and reality TV, and adores political savvy comedies. She is the nations foremost expert on stand-up comedians, and can quote the Doug Anthony Allstars verbatim, not to mention Greg Proops. She has often been heard to remark that she is in sore need of a life, or at least something resembling one.

Like I said, she doesn't know how good she is. It took us forever to convince her to stick her writings, her "scribblings" up on the net. She's horribly repressed and insecure sometimes, despite her joker facade. Hope you enjoy them as much as we did.

Darth Crapper, Lord of the Shit.

Addendum: By the way, this entire site is her own work (and her own fault). No help from anyone. Not bad for someone who thought a computer existed to scan porn sites on, huh?


It's me again, mamfa. A short introduction on my muse, Malcolm. He was assigned to me by Calliope, Queen of the muses, as some sort of sick joke. His natural (is ANYTHING natural about Mal?) shape is that of the mythical griffin, though he can shape-change. He doesn't like to, however, and you can always tell by his ever-gold eyes and bitchy comments. Really. He's a misogynistic, racist, sexist, sad little shit. The best example of his personality is the interview with me and Brooke Shields (an addiction to the comic strip goats has given me an incessant hate of that talentless pretender to the acting profession) linked below.
the Malcolm interview

the written word

arcHive