How to Totally Score Mega High Points on the SAT
by: Pike
Scoring mega-high points on the SAT is like scoring mega-high points while playing Yu-Gi-O! You need a strategy. So here is the strategy that worked for me. And I'm like a super-genious so just go ahead and follow my mega-awesome tips.
Step One: Don't study or any gay crap like that. Get to bed nice and early. Hang up on Clara if she calls. She's like a lesbian anyway.
Step Two: Start your morning off with a few cartoons, like Yu-Gi-O! I especially love that one episode where there's an intense duel and Yu-Gi-O wins. His alter-ego voice is so totally hot. I wish I sounded like him. Instead I sound like that wimpy one. Oh well. I hated when 9/11 happened and they delayed Yu-Gi-O! Those Iraqi bastards!
Step Three: Pick out a super cool outift. Especially something like a Yu-Gi-O shirt, oversized over a T-shirt. Schnazzy! The proctor will like, want to make out with you (and then become a lesbian but whatever).
Step Four: Get to the test site early. Maybe you'll find someone to play Yu-Gi-O with. That'd be awesome to clear your mind or whatever.
Step Five: Make friends with the proctor. Offer to duel them, although they may not know what that means. And be aware that singing the theme song does not always clarify things. I know, isn't that crazy.
Step Six: Offer to teach the Asian kid haki sack in return for him to finish the math section for you. It worked for me. Plus, you'll get a new friend out of the deal. SCORE! Thus, scoring mega-high points on the SAT is just like Yu-Gi-O, because...isn't everything?
