So this is where you come if you wish to know about me.
So leave now, I say, or suffer the consequences!
They are dire.
Dire consequences!
Very much so, not so fine!
Crap, that don't make NO sense.
It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.
Yes, for those of you sitting at home wondering, it is fun to have a conversation with yourself.
I do it all the time.
Ok, now to tell a few important things all about me!
Yay!
And all that stuff.

My Name: Timothy Beans. No it is not.

My email address: Hawke440@msn.com

My AIM name: Hawke440

My Born-on-date: 21783

My hair color: Let's go with red, black, blonde, and blue for today...

My favorite type of salad dressing: Newman's own!

Favorite pasttime hobby: Couch pissing

Favorite means of death: Assyrian Glass Rod torture

Favorite means of transportation: Vespa

Do I own a Vespa? No.

Do I want a Vespa?No. Well, yes if you will give me one. Please.

Favorite novel: Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Reason why: Neil Gaiman is sexy.

Favorite thing to do on a Saturday Nite: Kill...

Favorite TV shows (cartoons): Home Movies, Harvey Birdman, Clone High, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Favorite Dead Historical Figure: Daniel Y. Lee

Comic I would love to write:The Flash or Moon Knight

Bands I am listening to at the moment:
The Mars Volta
Pavement
They Might Be Giants
Sloppy MeatEaters
Hot Hot Heat
Relient K
Saves the Day
At the Drive-In
Muse
White Stripes
The Rentals
Weezer
Modest Mouse
Flaming Lips
Gorillaz
...And you will know us by the trail of dead
the Smiths
Radiohead
Rufus Wainwright
Belle and Sebastian
Alkaline Trio
Kenna
The Eels
Zwan

Favorite Comics(Graphic Novels if you are picky):
Bone
X-Statix
Ulitmates and Ultimate X-Men and Ultimate Spiderman
Grrl Scouts
Sojourn
New X-Men
New Mutants/New XMen (new series)
Anything with an "X" (because I'm weird that way)
Hellboy
Alpha Flight
Runaways
1602
Supreme Power
Sandman
Blankets
Lost at Sea
Sidekicks
Nausicca
and Especially Madman

If you want info on videogames, read my other bio for I Hate This Game, located here.

Here's a bio a Prof wrote for me, just 'cause I know you wanted to read it:

My name is Dr. Jane Sibley and I have been blessed to know Mr. Hawke for the last 6 years of my life. I must say that there is no one in the world, much less the universe, qualified for this position. I first met Hawke at a bar in the Swiss Alps where he showed me his amazing writing talent with two plays he had already written, Why the World will end in 11 minutes: A Comedy, and Sherlock Holmes II: Judgment Day. I, Jane Sibley, being the illustrious play write myself, was amazed at his amazing vocabulary and awstasis austacious spelling. Hawke then began telling me about his life.

He was born of meager origins in Fort Lauderdale, Florida to Mr. [Edited], a [Edited] for [Edited], and Mrs. [Edited], an [Edited]. From the first these parents knew they had something special in their care. He was sent off to the illustrious school [Edited] in [Edited], where he excelled in subjects such as Art History and History in a general sense. He also enjoyed drawing in the many art classes, but that’s another story altogether. Along the way Hawke completed many other amazing things, such as becoming an Eagle Scout, and, well actually that’s it.

He then moved on to the next point in his life, [Edited] University. There he learned many new ideas, took a few classes, and decided to joint major in Religion and History while minoring in studio art. During his free moments in college, Hawke enjoys working at his job, a clerk in a video game store, and playing video games. Hawke has high hopes for his future, thinking, “Someday I will do something cool.” I, Jane Sibley, believe that this sums up Mr. Hawke fully and explains just why I believe Hawke would be the perfect qualified applicant for Senior Garbage Collector. Thank you for your time.

There you go. Enjoy the horrible mess that is my mind. Check this out though. You found a secret page! Click here Yes! Now you can stalk me from home, just as I stalk you... Crap on me and my lack of an interior monologue...