"I never regretted being a critic until now."- Megan Dougherty, Worst of the Web Weekly
"Outrageously Borring!"- Justin Fortiscue, The Tornado Skank
"Gonzo Sandwich is a litterbox for the most annoying youths in the country to deposit their droppings"- Greg Keating, The Tall Napoleon
"Reading Gonzo Sandwich makes my blood broil with rage"- Matt Jones, The Detroit Donkey Kick
"I'd rather hang out with an undercover narc than read a single article on Gonzo Sandwich"- Nicky Johnson, Harrington Middle School Newspaper
"Gonzo Sandwich is concievably less enjoyable than a mysterious videotape depicting my own death"- John Valmer, Hypochondriac's Quarterly
"If I had one-time access to a time machine, I would make it my sole priority to assasinate whoever invented the internet"- Carrol Farmer, Decisions Magazine
"www.herpes.com never sounded so entertaining"- Ed Smith, Bronx Reader
"This is stupid. Just plain Stupid."- Doug Obrien, Mad Magazine
"Gonzo Sandwich is the Keanu of the Web"- Alan Stanwick, The Five O'Clock Shadow
"This website should be illegal... internationally."- Rob Thornton, BBC
"Just like him, his online magazine is nothing but a spiralling black hole of annoyance."- Adam McGrath, LaSalle Collegian