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The Adventures of Nick

Flyin' solo. 'cause I'm just that damn cool.

Right then. Time for some shameless plageurism. This time, I'm ripping off my ex girlfriend (and current friend) Michie. here is a link to her page. The part i'll be ripping off today is her "Adventures of Michie, Kallie and Ree" section.

My name is Nick, and these are my adventures. Based on real life, but taken to tangents of imagination, here are the twisted ideas that form in my head each day.

questions? comments? flames? attacks on my character? love poems? E-mail me!

Just for reference, here are some quick facts about me just so you know what's going down here.

Name: Nick Onymous (that'd work better if my first name were anne.)

Age: 17

Birthday: November 28th, 1986.

Height: roughly 5'11-6'

Weight: 188 lbs

Hair Colour: currently, dark brown.

Eye Colour: bluey green with some grey mixed in.


Colour: Black

Person: Christina

Show: bloody... not much time for TV anymore, but everwood's a good show

Hobbyie: Martial arts and role playing.

Other Notes:

  • Training in the Korean Martial art of Hapkido
  • has an attitude problem. apperantly.
  • is emotionally fucked-up!
  • has been accused of being a goth 7,527 times as of the creation of this page
  • has been accused of being anti-social 15,678 times as of the creation of this page. has never argued.
  • has a natural amptitude for science and math, but hates most facets of the two subjects. prefers literature and music.
  • has been accused of being a freak so many times that there are no numerical values that can be assigned. again, no arguments were made...
  • this list is bound to grow as time goes on

  • And so, with a click and a clack of the keyboard, the insanity began...

    Adventure One: Always Come Prepared.

    Nick:*sitting in the back of his Chem class, bored out of his mind and barely listening to his teacher.*

    Mr G.(chem teacher):*in an utterly infuriating monotone voice*"and there too, boys and girls, we must think in terms of blah blah blah...we must also look at, there too, a way to write this formula better, because you are better than this! and blah blah blah.."

    Nick:*eye twitching with anger*" kill..."

    Steve(aquaintance of Nick, sits beside him):"hey, Nick.. are you okay, man?"

    Nick:"yes... it's times like these that i wish i had a throwing axe."

    Steve:"god, your such a freak. oh, hey, we have a math test next period you know."

    Nick:*eyetwitch returns with a vengance*"and me without my calculator..."

    Adventure One-Point-Five:Always Come Prepared, and Bring a Mop.

    Nick:*enter stage right into his chem class, is in an oddly cheery mood*

    Steve:*walks up beside Nick*"howdy. why are you in such a good mood?"

    Nick:"just call me a boy scout. i always come prepared."*grins his evil grin*

    Steve:*shudders uncontrollably*"so does that mean you actually brought a calculator for the math test today?"

    Nick:".....damnit."*takes his seat. class begins.*

    Mr G.:*in that annoying monotone voice of his*"all right, class, today, there too, we will have a pop quiz that will be on several elements, including eye-ron (iron, pronounced phonetically) as well as severally un-knowens. it will be worth ninety-five percent of your term mark, and will be entirely on a calculator."

    Nick:"..... RAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!!! NICK SMASH!!!!"*infuriated with rage, reaches into his back pack and draws forth a hatchet. leaps to his feet and hurls it into the middle of Mr G's head. he falls in a bloody mess*

    Class:*stare, aghast*

    Nick:"ahhh... all better."*falls down into his chair, relaxed like he's in the aftermath of sex*

    Steve:".... so that's what you meant. huh."

    Mr G.:*stands back up, hatched still embedded in his big bald noggin', and still spurting blood*"now, thereto boys and girls, this is why we don't carry hatchets in the chemistry lab, it is a severe safety risk, blah blah blah..."

    Steve:*staring wide-eyed*"... he's alive!"

    Nick:"yeah." *le sigh* "the annoying ones never die."

    Steve:"but.. he has a hatchet... in his head!!!"

    Nick:*indifferent tone of voice*"uh-huh."

    Steve:"....and this doesn't shock you at all?"

    Nick:"with my luck? not really."*absently doodles with pen in binder as teacher continues rambling*

    Mr G.*starting to run out of wind*"..and.. also... you.. must...."*collapses onto his desk, gasping for air*"oh, forget it, i'll write this out as a speech later and deliver it during our double on wednesday. now for the test."

    Nick:*eyetwitch*"urge to kill.. rising.. rising... rising!!"*begins to turn red*

    Steve:"seriously, man. you need to get a girl friend."

    Adventure Two:I Told You Not To Touch That

    Nick:*in his auto-shop class, raising a van on the hoist while another guy (Dom) sits in the driver's seat so that he can turn the wheel*

    Mr MC(autoshop teacher)"okay, that's good, leave 'er there and i'll be right back to take a look."

    Nick:"sure thing."

    Dom:*still in the driver's seat of the van which is now eight feet off the ground*"Mister Mc, are you sure this is safe?"

    Mr MC:"oh yeah. you'll be fine, your in the van. it's the guy beside the van who'll get hurt if it tips."

    Dom:"oh, okay."*exit Mr MC stage left to his office.*

    Idiot Classmates:*start teasing Dom, then, having a collective IQ less than my shoe size, begin to shake the van*

    Nick:"I wouldn't touch that if i were you."*said in an apathetic tone, as he's still standing a good ten feet away by the lift controls*

    Idiot Classmates:"shut up, freak, we'll do whatever we want."*continue shaking the van back and forth, laughing like idiots."

    Nick:*watches indifferently as the van falls off the lift and crushes the idiot classmates, ignoring their screams of pain*" i told you not to touch that."*scratches behind his ear and yawns*

    Adventure Three:Can i See That Real Quick?

    Nick:*in auto shop, standing over the open hood of the van, discussing the state of the engine with his shop teacher*"so yeah, just the battery needs some cleaning, i think and-"

    Dom:*standing nearby, watching*"Lets rotate the tires!!!!!!!"

    Nick:*stares at Dom for about five seconds, then looks to his shop teacher again*"i'll fix it. don't worry."

    Dom:*as shop teacher leaves and Nick begins to work*"lets rotate the tires!!!

    Nick:*stops working. stares at Dom*"... it's people like you who make me fear the state of education in this country."*gets back to work*

    Dom:rotate the tires!!!!

    Nick:*not even bothering to look up*"shut UP you ignorant baboon!"

    Dom:ROTATE THE TIRES! ROTATE THE TIRES! ROTATE THE TIRES!!!*continues shreiking like a little monkey as Nick fights the urge to throw his socket wrench*

    Mr G.*enters the auto shop, talking with mister MC about the car he's having fixed up. still has the hatchet embedded in his head. walks by Nick, who gets an idea.*

    Nick:"hey, Mr G!"*steps into his path*"see you've still got the evil dead look going on. how's that working out? oh, great. lemme just borrow that for half a mo'."*snatches the hatchet, causing a fresh spray of blood.*

    Dom:ROTATE TIRES!! ROTATE TIRES!! ROTATE TI-"*wet thwack! as Nick hits him in the face with the hatchet*

    Nick:*blissful expression*"oh, blessed silence..."

    Mr G."Egads!! i can finally remember that grocery list, and-"

    Nick:"oops, almost forgot."*throws the hatchet back into the hole in Mr G's head with a wet spwack!

    Mr G.*stumbles back, then stands stark straight, like a zombie*"... science.. chem-is-try... no-men-cla-ture.... eye-ron..."

    Nick"The moral of the story, boys and girls? always do what i tell you, or you'll get a hatchet in your face. or possibly a fork. whichever's handy."

    well, it's been almost a year since i updated this, but i'm hoping to come back to it now and write some new adventures soon. i know nobody's been -looking- but, just for those of you who read in the future, i want you to know why there's such a dramatic shift in the content of the stories at this point.