FUnniest Convo Ever
This is like the funniest convo ive ever had...
Thunda Feet: so, have you seen my turtle?
Thunda Feet: he galapagos, you cant miss him
Thunda Feet: he jumped my fence
RbrGlove: ...what the hell are you talking about?
Thunda Feet: my galapagos turtle flew the coop
RbrGlove: Galapagos tutles couldn't jump eve if they wanted to.
RbrGlove: Maybe he burrowed his way out?
Thunda Feet: he fucking jumped and ran away like 60 mph
Thunda Feet: i watched him
RbrGlove: And you've been snorting ass crack to. ;-)
Thunda Feet: galapagos crack
RbrGlove: ...you've been snorting the ass crack of a galapagos turtle?? Freak.
Thunda Feet: hey he gives great head
Thunda Feet: and his name is sanchez
RbrGlove: So you're a turtle fucker. Wonderful. It takes all kinds I guess...
RbrGlove: I'm more of a sheep man myself.
Thunda Feet: Goats
Thunda Feet: most farm animals are loose from artificial insimination
Thunda Feet: so
Thunda Feet: they are grwat
Thunda Feet: GREAT*
RbrGlove: You just like to hang onto their horns for a better grip. Real men don't need horns for grip!
Thunda Feet: but im a horny type of guy
Thunda Feet: my turtle got jealous of the farm animals
Thunda Feet: thats why he jumped the fence and escaped
RbrGlove: It's a sad day when the animals you molest run away from your love.
Thunda Feet: especially galapagose turtles named sanchez
Thunda Feet: :'(
Thunda Feet: god i miss that little guy
Thunda Feet: and his Blow jobs
RbrGlove: I'd recommend chipmunks. They're cheaper than gerbils. you could name yours "Squirmy the Chipmunk".
Thunda Feet: or
Thunda Feet: "Chip"
Thunda Feet: but wont they chop your wanger off?
Thunda Feet: i'm a "Get head guy" myself
RbrGlove: remove his teeth and your all good.
RbrGlove: As an extra plus, he fits in the palm of you hand.
Thunda Feet: i can fit him in most pockets
Thunda Feet: yes! , i can cut holes in my pockets and get chipmunk hea dall day
Thunda Feet: your a genious
RbrGlove: There ya go! the possibilities are truly endless when you think about it!
Thunda Feet: what about the high pitched squeeling
Thunda Feet: and they like nuts, do i need a jock strap?
RbrGlove: The high pitched squeeling can be muffled by you inserting your meat gag into the rodents toothless mouth. And with it's teeth removed, it will just gum your nuts at worst.
Thunda Feet: nails removed too then?
RbrGlove: Removed or trimmed. Whichever your preference may be.
Thunda Feet: if the chipmunk is too small for the meat gag, should i upgrade to a squirrel ?
RbrGlove: Most definitely. If you do, you also get the benefit of a fuzzy tail to pleasure yourself with as well.
Thunda Feet: they can wrap it around my genitilia
Thunda Feet: whats next then? Gopher, or maybe woodchuck?
Thunda Feet: but all these costly teething operations
Thunda Feet: and i need special taylored suits
RbrGlove: Gopher and woodchuck are also options, but the larger the animal, the looser the "fit" for oral pleasuring. As for specially tailored suits, those are unneccessary. if anyone asks what's that squirming around between your legs, tell them it's a woodchuck. no one will believe that. Hell, most guys would think you're just bragging about your "size", and most women would think that your just being modest about discussing the size of your "member", making you even more attractive in their eyes.
Thunda Feet: thats an excellent analysis
Thunda Feet: but how do i explain it to the wife and kids?
RbrGlove: Just offering some advice is all I'm doing...
RbrGlove: Wife and kids? That's all you, chief. I can only do so much for ya.
Thunda Feet: i am thinking a chipmunk or mouse, i do not have "Gods will" blessing the size of my wang.
RbrGlove: <--- monkeys. make your jokes.
Thunda Feet: but i already have a monkey! he needs someone to entertain him...
RbrGlove: I don't "do" other people's monkeys.
Thunda Feet: i wasnt referring to you
Thunda Feet: but if u and your sheep anna come play with my monkey and other molested animals
Thunda Feet: feel free!
RbrGlove: Mmmmm...animal orgy...
Thunda Feet: I CALL THE CHIPMUNK
Thunda Feet: he really gums it down
RbrGlove: All I ask is that you scream out my name when your getting pleasured by the toothless furry beast as thanks.
Thunda Feet: do chipmunks swallow?
Thunda Feet: or do they preffer facials?
RbrGlove: They swallow. think of them as furry condoms. just, uh, don't use them as such.
Thunda Feet: hmm
Thunda Feet: what if u kill tham and claim ther furs
Thunda Feet: can it be wrapped around the penis and used as such?
RbrGlove: Then that would be necrophilia bestiality. Ya sick freak.
Thunda Feet: i said u kill him
Thunda Feet: im not killing no chipmunk
Thunda Feet: thats cruel
Thunda Feet: they are sex toys only
RbrGlove: ...unlike tearing the teeth out of them and forcing them to suck ya off...
Thunda Feet: lol
RbrGlove: Oh, i was smiling during the whole thing. We are sick little puppies.
Thunda Feet: i was getting head from sanchez... he came home