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Happy Birthday Tony

On your 29th Birthday-damn your getting old

(do people your age still have sex-I think that's what you use to ask me)

Let's see, the c-section cost 3500.00 back in 1974. The Dr. cost 1000.00 and if I add up all the cookies and toilet paper you use every day before you go home to your wife and take the average interest rate....I'm guessing you'd owe me around 500,000.00. I added extra cause you can never pay me back for the stretch marks and saggy boobs. But the next time I have to get the septic pumped-your paying for it. When was the last time you did your septic? What's that- you've not done it in 5 or 6 years? I know cause I have to have mine done yearly you little shit.

But we luv ya anyway.....