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Welcome to THE ADVICE CENTER!

This weeks Helpful list: THINGS THAT YOU SHOULDN'T COVER IN JAM

As I'm sure you all know, the advice center is dedicated to helping people get the information and advice they need. Here are just a few of the anonymous questions skillfully answered by our own Ms. Jacobs.
Dear Ms. Jacobs, How do you know if your pregnant?
-anonymous.

The International Foundation of football association was founded in 1904. I hope that helps

Dear Ms. Jacobs, How do you know what the perfect name for your newborn child is?
-a bad father .

It has always been by belief that people should name children after people or foods that they admire. I think that your child could be called breadsticks, because breadsticks are relativly high in fiber and are sometimes used to scoop cheese.

Dear Ms. Jacobs, Is it true that George Washington died of a cold?
-anonymous

I'm glad that you asked. This is a common, however incorrect, belief. One day George Washington was making some copies of the Gettysberg Address when the copy machine exploded. George was suddenly cunsumed by flames.The tiny bottles of alcohol that he kept in the pockets of his tissue paper pants may have added to speed with which George burned.

Dear Ms. Jacobs, How do you know if the person you like is right for you?
-anonymous

Well my wide-eyed little friend, the answer is simple, really. When attempting to determine compatability you must simply ask your self these questions. The answer will come to you.

  • Does he or she allow a wolvarine to own or operate a windmil without a permit frequently, occasionally, or only in social situations?
  • Does being in his or her company cause you to break out in a rash, bumps, or brain tumor?
  • Is he or she imaginary?

Dear Ms. Jacobs, There is a boy in my life that I would really like to sleep with but I have only known him for a relatively short period of time.What should I do?
-extremely

Oh,don't you fret. Your probably just gassy.

Dear Ms. Jacobs, Is it ok to like one person and love another?
-confused

You should never love anything, ever. Oh, except for Alf, he's HILLARIOUS!


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