Colorado Weather
Wind and Weather
I woke up this morning thinking there was going to be a foot of snow. I see the storm hit Nebraska pretty hard. We've had million mph winds lately. I thought I was back in Wyoming - not that there's anything wrong with that. We live next to the foothills and near the mouth of Left Hand Canyon. During the summer Boulder gets the occasional chinook blasts in the summer. Its supposed to snow big again tomorrow. One of our classmates, Tad Leeper, sent this along about Colorado. I added my retorts from the peanut gallery:
1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day. - That was last week. It was in the 70s, then on Easter weekend turned into a blizzard.
2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means. - Need I say more?
3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from
the mountains. - Now this is typical of anyone who lives on the front range.
4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian. - We have the gastrohippocrits here "I'm a vegatarian, but I eat fish." or "I'm a vegan, but I eat eggs."
5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane. - And special racks on the busses so the bike paint doesn't get scratched.
6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without even flinching. - Coloradans haven't been stuck on I-80 between Laramie and Rawlins before
7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise. - I have to say I do pig out on the all you can eat tacos and sopapillas and I never get tired of the gorilla cliff diving into the lagoon.
8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer. Fat Tire are fightin' words in Montrose - gimmee a Curs.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snow suit. - You should see the Halloween costumes in Nebraska!
10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs. - In Boulder yes.
11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards." I'd say this was true before global warming.
12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory. - Go Big Red!
13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains. - How about in the park!
14. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow. - How about can't get to work during rush hour in the middle of the summer!
15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista. That would be BYOONA VEESTA
16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz. - That'll drive you to drink!
17. Your car insurance costs more than your car. - It's not worth driving - take the bus.
18. You have surge protectors on every outlet. - This is because we have an electronic device connected to all outlets.
19. April showers bring May blizzards. February showers bring April through June blizzards.
20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been. - In Colorado you can drive to timberline.
21. You know what a 'Chinook' is. - Warm Breezes.
22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is. - They are better in Wyoming and Nebraska.
23. You know what a "fourteener" is. - Lots of 14-ers here, as opposed to 1-ers. One of my favorite posters is one of a skier on a snow-covered hay stack that says "Ski Nebraska"
24. ...But you don't know what a "turn signal" is. - Not to mention the drivers who don't know how to turn their signals "off"
25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does. - That would be on the western slope.
26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod. - It's a nine-iron AND a lightning rod.
27. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do. - I thought it was because of the smog.
28. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange. A Democrat who switches over to be a Republican is strange.
29. Thunder has set off your car alarm. - You'd be amazed at the school fire drills during the afternoon.
30. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck. - Its more like a $2,000 stereos in Escalades.
31. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go. Green means Go, Red means Go Faster.
32. Where we're going, we don't need roads!! You should see those SUVs flip Yooies over the curbs.
33. You know where the real "South Park" is. - Comedy Central?
34. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight. - Reminds me of the dueling bumper stickers: Wyoming Car - "Live in Colorado, Fish in Colorado." Colorado Car - "Live in Wyoming, Shop in Wyoming."
35. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.' - If anyone would ever leave town!
36. You've 'checked for ticks' - ... and popped off a swelled up tick the size of a marble.
37. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood. - The official wardrobe of Boulder.
38. You've gone snow skiing in July and......... - better than in New Zealand
39. You've played golf in January and....... - see "38."
40. They were in the same year! - see "39."
41. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans. - My aim isn't as good as it used to be.
42. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is. - I also know that is incorrect grammar.
43. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream. - Which explains why Colorado is constantly invaded by Texans and Californians.
44. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your Colorado friends. - I've been in denial about being in Colorado. I remember when I drove my car to Laramie for the first time from Boulder. My dad looked at my license plates and asked "That your car?"
