Sean's Funny Jokes

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The Blind Man

Funny Jokes

What do you call a black priest?
Holy Shit!

What do you call a black guy with a cane?
Shit on a stick

How do you stop a black guy from drowning?
Take your foot off of his head

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?
Cut the rope

Sex Jokes

There's a carrot, a cauliflower, and a dick. The carrot says "man my life sucks, I have to get cut up and thrown into stew. The cauliflower says "no my life sucks, I have to get eaten with some beef. The dick says "you guys have it all wrong my life is horrible, I have to get into a rubber jump suit, go into a really really dark cave, and do push-ups until I puke.

There's a four story apartment

First Floor-A blind Man
Second Floor-A woman trying to take a shower
Third Floor-Two people getting divorced
Fourth Floor-Two people getting married

The Blind Man

So on the second floor the lady is about to get into the shower when the doorbell rings, she puts on a towel goes to answer the door and the people from the fourth floor are there saying congratulate us were getting married, she congratulates them. Then when she is about to go into there again the doorbell rings, she puts on a towel and answers the door, Its the people from the third floor, they say congratulate us were getting divorced, she congratulates them. Ten minutes later when she is in the shower the doorbell rings and she finally says to herself "Damn first it was the fourth floor people, then the third floor people, now it must be the blind guy." So she gets out of the shower with no towel on and opens the door, the blind guy says congratulate me I'm not blind anymore..........

The Mall Joke

There is a mother and she has triplets in her stomach, she is in the mall and a robber comes in shoots five bullets and three hit her in the stomach each baby is hit once. She goes into labor and the doctor says later on in there life the bullet will come out of there reproductive system. She says allright. Five years later the little girls comes up and says mommy I peed out a bullet whats happened, the mother explains what happened at the mall. Six years later the other girls comes down and says mother I peed out a bullet what has happened to me, the mother explains what happened. Three years later the boy is fourteen and up in his room he comes running downstairs and says mom mom, the mother replys let me guess you peed out a bullet, his response is no I was jacking off and I shot the dog.

Bad reception

A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."

Indecent Exposure

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why, officer?" asks the blonde. "Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed." "Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"

Sunny Blondes

One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!" The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic." Sick Jokes

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg? A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme? A. Humpme Dumpme

Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? A. Fertilized

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass? A. Brain tumor.

Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine? A. Because they both drip when they're fucked!

Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper? A. So she could lip read.

Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

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