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Tears of Fire by daydreamer7

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(Note to reader : When Ebony's thoughts appears, it'll be presented in Pink, when Zoot/Martin's thoughts appears, it'll be presented in blue)

Chapter 1—New Girl in Town

I stood at the foot of the stairs, staring up at the sprawling school in front of her. I breathed deeply and headed up them.
Here goes. I reached the door, and pulled it open. Students rushed past me on their way to their first class and I had to fight to get to the office. I opened the door, shutting out the student noise and the sound of the bell ringing as she closed it.
“Are you Ebony Wilde?”
“Yes” I said nervously. Damnit! I’m never nervous! I gotta cut this out.
“Right through there.” The receptionist told her.

A few minutes later, I emerged from the guidance office, schedule, locker combination and books in hand. I left the main office and went up the stairs to my locker. I opened it, and threw my books in. My schedule told her I had Government/Political Science, my favorite subject, first. I kept that book, closed my locker, and went off to search for room number 219. I found it quickly, and knocked on the door. A couple seconds later, the teacher opened it. She held open the door for me, and directed me to the front of the room.

“Class, we have a new student today. This is Ebony.” I smiled and then looked at the floor. It’s really not like me to be nervous, but I couldn’t help it. Something told me this school was going to be different….


“You may take a seat in the back, right next to Martin.”
I nodded, and made my way to the back. I sat down and opened my book to the page number written on the chalkboard.

“Hi. I’m Martin.”

“Ebony.” I smiled and shook his hand. He’s cute. I thought, noting his great smile and gorgeous blue eyes, eyes the color of the sky on a clear day. He seemed shy, and quite. I usually didn’t go for that type, but there was something about him that pulled me in and didn’t let go.



Chapter 2

(Author's Note to reader :This does skip time a bit, just so no one gets confused! )

Martin and I became fast friends. He was the first and only person I had ever trusted. And I was falling in love with him. I would have never admitted it to anyone; he wasn’t my usual “type.” But I guess what they say is true, opposites attract. He was so unlike me: Shy, quiet, and reserved. He was cute, sweet, funny, and he actually cared about me. That was also a first. Never before had I felt what I did when I was around him. I knew he’d protect me, and that he, in a way, loved me. That feeling was great. I couldn’t tell him though. He was my best friend and, he was in love with Trudy. I would never forget the day he finally admitted it to me. It was one of the most painful days of my life.

“Hey Ebs?” Martin said, turning my attention from the movie we were watching to him.

“Yeah?” I responded, popping another piece of popcorn in my mouth.

“I have to tell you something.”

“What?”

“Well…you see…there’s this girl I really like and I’m not sure how to tell her.”

My eyes brightened and my heart raced with the small possibility that he may be talking about me. “Well, who is she?”

Martin took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes. “It’s...” He paused. “Trudy.”

My heart broke. Tears sprung into my eyes. I quickly looked away, hoping he didn’t notice. Damn.it. I thought. I let myself get too close. I got hurt. I knew that was always a possibility, but I trusted him so much I figured he could never hurt me. But he had.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you ok?”

Great. He saw. “Yeah, just something in my eyes.” I lied. “So what were you saying?”

“Well, I don’t know how to tell her.”

“Why not just ask her out, and tell her over a romantic, candle lit dinner? Just be honest.” I told him, yelling at myself for helping him. But I knew that I couldn’t just be a ******* and desert him. After all, he was my best friend, and I wanted him to be happy. Not that Trudy will make him happy I thought bitterly.

“There’s just one problem. She likes Bray.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll ‘distract’ him you. Get him out of the picture.”

“You’d do that?”

“Of course. You’re my best friend. Besides, Bray IS hot…” I trailed off, hoping he was buying the act. And he was!

Martin rolled his eyes at me. “Just another one to add to the ranks…” He said, sighing.

“Well, I gotta go! See you later.” I said, all but running out of the house. I got into my car and let the tears run freely.

Chapter 3

I laid on the trampoline outside of Martin and Bray’s house; listening to Bray drone on about some stupid basketball game and watching Martin and Trudy make out. It was a great night, let me tell you. I don’t know what I was thinking when I agreed to get Bray away from Trudy. He may be gorgeous, and he definitely knows it. He’s arrogant as hell, and the only topics of conversation he will talk about are himself and basketball. I can’t stand the kid.
I stared up at the sky, trying my hardest to tune Bray out. The night was growing dark, the sun cast an errie blue shadow on the clouds. The stars, something I’d always found comfort in, were not shining that night. My mind darted through the events of the past few months. Martin had finally gotten Trudy to give him a chance, and now they were together. I was happy for him. Really, I was. Ok, so I’m still a little bitter. But at least he’s happy. That’s more than what I could have given him. I let out a sigh, and looked up at Bray. He was totally unaware that I had stopped listening. I turned my attention back to the sky, to watching the clouds drift off to the east. I looked back over at Trudy, who was now listening to Bray telling yet another one of his “fascinating” basketball stories. This time though, I was a bit more interested in what was happening. I saw the way Trudy was looking at Bray. I knew that look. She's still into him! That little b!tch! Suddenly, it all started making sense. One day, Trudy had hated me for taking Bray’s attention away from her. The next, she was all over Martin. The pieces of the puzzle really started coming together. She was using Martin to get to Bray. If she hurts him...

I looked over at Ebony, who was starting up at the sky. She looked so sad, so lonely. I felt bad for what I was making her do, for what I was using her for. But she offered to do it… That doesn’t mean I should have let her. I suddenly felt horrible, Ebony is my best friend, and instead of thinking about her, I only thought of myself. What was I thinking?

It'sfreezing out here. I was shivering beyond belief, and here I am sitting on a dumb trampoline listening, ok not listening, to the idiot go on and on about some dumb bouncy ball sport. “Umm Bray?” I said, my teeth chattering and interrupting my words. “Would you mind taking me home. I’m cold and not feeling well all of the sudden.”

“Aw Ebs! We just got here! And it’s a great night, it’s warm!” Bray whined back to me.

“I’ll take you Ebony. You don’t mind do you, Trudy?”
“No! Not at all! Ebony, you don’t look so good anyway. I’ll be fine here with Bray.” Trudy said all too quickly. She definitely wants Bray. Of course she’d be fine with him.

“Ok, thanks Trude. Come on, Ebs, let’s get going.”

The car ride home was torture. We barely spoke. It was as if something had totally changed between us, we weren’t the same people we used to be. I hated it. Martin pulled into my driveway and stopped the car.

“Ebony, look…”

“Martin, I…” We both said at the same time.

“Go ahead.” I told him, anxious to finally hear his voice.

“I’m sorry I asked you to get Bray away so I could have Trudy. I was being selfish and I can see that you don’t really like him.”

“It’s ok, Martin. I just want you to be happy.” I told him, starting straight into his cerulean eyes. I tried to hide the pain in my eyes, but it obviously wasn’t working.

I looked at her, her blue gray eyes full of pain, the moonlight reflecting off of her beautiful but sad face. I could tell she was hurting, but was it because of me or was it because she didn’t fell well? Whatever the reason, I pulled her into a tight hug. I felt a few teardrops touch my shoulders, and parted with her. I ran my thumbs under her eyes, wiping away the tears. I cupped her face in my hands, and kissed her cheek. “Come on, let’s get you out of this cold car and into bed. You don’t look well.”

“Gee, thanks.” She said back to me sarcastically, and climbed out of the car. Her house was dark as we approached it, and went inside. Her parents and sisters had gone out for the night. I walked her up to her room, and waited on her bed while she changed into pajamas. I heard her sneezing, and ran downstairs. I came back up just as she was leaving the bathroom, her braids in a ponytail and her face clean of make up. I handed her the cold medicine, and pulled back the covers on her bed. She climbed in, and I covered her with the blankets.

“Thanks.” She whispered to me, and smiled. That was the first time she’d smiled genuinely in a long time.
“You’re welcome.” I said, returning her smile. I kissed her forehead, and turned to leave.

“No, don’t go. Please stay until I fall asleep.”

“Sure, baby.” She moved over, making room for me to lie down next to her. I wrapped an arm around her, and she snuggled into my chest. Her eyelids closed, and soon she was asleep. I loved watching her sleep; she looked so tranquil and innocent.
As I watched her, I began to realize that maybe, I liked her more than a friend. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to Trudy. She was the love of my life. But the feeling that I was getting as I watched Ebony, I couldn’t describe it. I tried to move away, but she held me fast. So instead, I settled down next to her. My parents wouldn’t miss me. Its not like they ever noticed when I was around anyway.
“Good night Ebony.”

Chapter 4

The day I found out mom was sick almost killed me. She and I were very close, and I didn’t know what I would do without her. I hated seeing her like that. She had denied something was wrong for so long, but I knew she was sick the day she fainted in the kitchen.

*~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*~

“Hey mom!” I yelled, entering the kitchen and throwing my books on the table. Mom was sitting in one of the chairs, her head in a hand. “Are you ok?”

“Yes, I think I just caught your cold.”

“Oh, ok.” I said, not buying it. I was over that cold weeks ago.

“How was your day, sweetie?” She asked me. She always asked me that.

“Um, it was ok.” I grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl and munched on it.

“Are you and Martin still fighting?”

“We never were really fighting. We just aren’t as close as we used to be. I almost felt like he’d forgotten about me. Like Trudy had taken my place. But things are better now.” I explained. My mind returned to that night 3 weeks ago when Martin took me home and stayed with me the night.
“No one could ever take your place. Not even Trudy.” She told me, and took my hand in hers. She always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. I looked down at her hand. Strangely, it had wrinkles on it, making it look older than she was.

“Oh, honey. I got the pictures from our party.” She said, standing and walking to the counter where the packet was. She paused for a few seconds before returning to her seat. I took the pictures out and started going through them. The first was our two cakes which read “Happy Sweet 16” and “Happy 37th!” My mom and I had been born on the same day. She told me I’d been her favorite present. I scanned through them rather quickly, pictures of presents and funny faces. I stopped at the one of Martin and me. He had given me a beautiful golden necklace with a ruby in the middle of it. He was kissing me on the cheek and I was holding the necklace. I smiled at it, and set it aside to put it in a frame. The last picture was of mom and me. We were wearing tiaras and holding a banner that said “Happy Birthday Princesses.”

“I like this one.” I told mom, holding it up for her to see.

“Yes, I liked it too.”

“I’ll put it in that frame you got me!” I said, jumping up and grabbing the other picture off of the table. I started to leave the kitchen, but something made me look back. Mom had put her head back in her hands and was breathing heavily.

I walked over to her. “Mom, are you sure…”

She looked up at me and her eyes rolled back. She slumped over the table, unconscious.

~*~*~*~*End Flashback~*~**~*~*

Chapter 5 (the very beginning of chapter 4 goes along with this)

I sat in the stiff chair next to my mother's still, barely breathing form. She looked old and frail, so uncommon for her mere 37 years. Her once shiny brown hair was now dull and gray. Wrinkles covered her face and hands. Her beautiful green eyes had lost their luster. I looked at her hand, which mine was clasped in. Her skin was rough and felt like sandpaper. I sighed and shifted my weight in the chair. As I looked at her aging form, the realization had finally hit. I was watching my mother die.

“Ebony, sweetie, you should go get some rest. You’ve been here for hours.” My father said, coming up behind me and placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked up into his eyes, eyes that too were graying. He had the Virus as well, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as my mother’s. Looking at him, I could tell he wanted to be alone with her. “I’ll stay with her.”

“Ok, dad.” I stood up and hugged him, then kissed his cheek. I wandered downstairs, in the empty, dark house. Java and Siva, as usual, were no where to be found. I walked into the kitchen, and looked at the table. Haunting memories filled my head, so I turned away and went to the refrigerator. Good thing I’m not hungry. I muttered. The only thing in there was a bottle of juice and some old-looking cheese.

I went towards the stairs and headed up them. Reaching the top, I heard voices coming from my parents’ room. I peeked in, and saw my father standing over my mother, his hands around her neck. What the... “Oh God!” I whispered as I saw my mother’s breathing become very labored, then slow and stop. I ran tom y room, silently closed and locked the door. I flung myself onto the bed. I laid there in shock. A few minutes later, there was a knock at my door. I shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

“Ebony.” My dad said gently, shaking me “awake.”

“What? Is something wrong?” I said, knowing full well what was wrong.

“Ebs…Your mom just passed away.” He choked out, tears filling his eyes.

God, what an actor. Now I know where I get it. “Did you call Java and Siva?”

“Yes. They’re on their way home now.”

“Ok.” I said looking blankly at him.

He turned to leave, but then stopped. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” I said coldly to him, just wanting him to leave. He finally did, shutting the door behind him.

Hours later, it was dark and I was still sitting on my bed. I hadn’t moved. In my hands I held the picture of mom and me at our birthday. She looks so healthy, so happy. Oh mommy, why did you get sick? Why did you leave me? Whey did dad do what he did? I lay down on my bed, clutching the picture to my chest. Finally, the tears began to flow.

Chapter 6, Part 1

I walked into my dad’s office, alone in the house. A few weeks after mom, dad went too. Though I hated what he did, I also hated watching him suffer. It looked so painful. The voice of reason within my head spoke to me. Maybe that’s why he did it. He couldn’t bear to see her in that much pain. I stopped at his desk and looked through the papers. Electric bill, phone bill, water bill…The next piece of paper I picked up was from the insurance company. It held the figures for my mom’s life insurance policy. “In the event of death, the amount to be paid to Mr. Andrew Wilde…$3,560,987.” My mouth dropped. We had always been well-off, but…My mind was going crazy. I went over to his computer, growing more suspicious by the second. I opened any final I thought might hold a clue. I was about to give up but I decided to try the last file. Inside, I found exactly what I was looking for.

Chapter 6, part 2

I couldn’t believe what I had just read. It was a letter form my father to some doctor, begging for some sort of antidote for the Virus. He was offering $3,00,000 for it. I couldn’t breathe. So he really did kill her. I was so stunned, all I could do was read and reread the letter. Dad murdered mom…Dad murdered mom. That thought was playing over and over in my head like a broken record. I head the front door open and I quickly shut off the computer. I went out the back door, and climbed the stairs of the deck and went into my room. Java and Siva had finally come back from the city. They had gone looking for food, and news of the Virus. I didn’t want any of it. I walked into the center of the room. The first thing I laid eyes on was a large picture of Martin and me. Martin. I had been so wrapped up in my family, I had neglected to find out how he was doing. I had to talk to him.

Chapter 7

Watching my mother die was the hardest thing I’d ever done. My father and I were never really close. Not only had I lost my mother, it felt like I’d lost my whole family. I wasn’t close with my sisters either. I didn’t trust them. I was all alone now. Or, at least, that’s what I thought. I kept hearing of this guy, Zoot. He was the most powerful leader of the most powerful tribe. If you were in with the Locos, you were taken care of. Then there was the power. I wanted it, needed it, to stay alive. It was becoming my life, my blood. I couldn’t take my sisters anymore. They told me not to go. They said it was dangerous, that I wouldn’t come back alive…

~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*

“Ebony, I won’t let you go!” Java yelled at me, pacing in circles in front of me.

“You can’t make me stay, Java!” I yelled back. Then I said something that maybe I shouldn’t have. “You’re not my mother. Mom’s dead.” I said to her coldly. Siva walked over to me and slapped me.

“That’s right. She is dead. And we’re supposed to be looking out for you and taking care of you.” Siva screamed in my face. I stayed silent as she went on and on, basically saying the same thing over and over. She had a tendency of doing that…a lot.

“If you’re so worried about me, though I’m sure you’re really not, come with me.” I don’t know why I said that. I didn’t want them with me. I wanted them as far away as possible. “We leave tomorrow morning. You better be ready.”

*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*


That night, I decided to leave. I wandered down the streets. The night was very dark and no moon shone. I was cold. And lost, I couldn’t find the Loco’s camp. I was picking my way through the garbage-ridden streets when a car pulled up next to me and rolled down its window. I got scared and hope whoever this was wasn’t looking for a good time. It almost looked like a police car. I peered into the car, trying to see who was in it. But they stayed in the shadows. A man’s voice commanded me to get into the car. I looked around for a few seconds, then reluctantly got in. The tone of his voice told me I’d be better off just relenting to him. If I ran, he’d catch me. I slid into the police-looking car, scared out of my mind. Whoever was next to me reached out and touched the ends of my braids.

“Hello, Ebony. Long time no see.”

Chapter 8


“How in God’s name did I get myself into this.” I muttered as I wandered around the damp, dingy cell. As much as I hated admitting it, I was scared. Whoever was in the car obviously knew me, but someone else blindfolded me before I could see who he was. I was taken to a strange place and thrown in the cell. No one bothered to talk to me. They just gave me some bread and water two times a day. I was cold, the cell was dark and dreary. No sunlight filtered throught the grimy window. For the first time in my life, I wanted to go back home to my sisters, where at least I felt some comfort, some protection. “I want out of this hellhole!” I yelled and fell to the floor. I curled up in a ball and with tears running down my cheeks, I fell asleep.

Three days later, I was still in the cell and still without a clue as to why I was there. The door opened and I flinched. My fear had turned into paranoia as I lay on the floor. I was having nightmares about what might happen to me, and was confusing consciousness with sleep. I had an overwhelming feeling that someone was going to hurt me. “Please…no...” I cried feebly as the person neared me.

“Get up.” He commanded, stopping just before me.

I struggled to stand, weak from laying in a fetal position for hours on end. I made it to my feet but got dizzy and stumbled. The man caught me before falling, letting his strong arms linger around my waist. For the first time, I gazed up into his eyes, facing my captor. “He looks familiar.” I thought to myself. “Where do I know him from?” I didn’t have time to ponder this, however. He pushed me in front of him, towards the door.

He sat behind a desk, I was in a chair facing him. “Well Ebony, what do you say to my proposal?”

I sat and looked into his cold eyes, trying to figure out what to say. I knew I should accept it, I had to. After all, I had come here to be a Loco, but I didn’t expect to be asked to be his queen. “Why?” I said, unaware it was out lout.

Zoot laughed. “So you don’t want it? Aren’t you strong enough for it?”

“No, I didn’t say that. I’m definitely strong enough, so don’t ever…” I started yelling, suddenly very defensive but Zoot cut me off.

“Ebony, settle down. I know you’re strong enough and able enough. I just wanted to see how much you wanted it.”

“But why me?”

Chapter 9

God. She still looks so beautiful. So strong. I put her though hell and she still came out on top. Thats my Ebony.

Why does he look so familiar? I searched his face for something, anything I recognized. My eyes met his. They were almost the color of ice. But there was something beyond the cold, something I knew. "Martin." I said aloud. His face cluded when I said the hated name. I shrank back in my chair, aware of the rage in his eyes.

"Martin is dead." He said coldly. And Martin was dead. This man was no longer the friend I had known. He was a lost and angry soul. And I am scared shi.tless of him.

I saw the fear in her eyes. It was just a passing shadow, but it was there. It haunted her eyes. It was like smoke clouding the fire that so desperately wanted to dominate.

"You never answered my question. Why me?" She said, interrupting my thoughts.

"I have my reasons." I told her shrewdly, not wanting to give away what I truly felt for her. I did still love her.


I didn't like the way he was staring at me. It was like he could see straight into my soul. He made me feel vulnerable. That wasn't a feeling I enjoyed. I trited to steel myself against him, to be as cold as he was. As mysterious as he was.

She looks so scared of me. I can't stand it. I never wanted her to fear me, but she had to. I couldn't let her see beyond the mask. I can't let her know that deep down, I'm still Martin. And that I love her. Zoot's not supposed to love. No feelings, right? Only power and chaos. Bullsh.it. I need love. I need Ebony. I only hope she accepts this...

"Whatever." I said to his previous statement. I stood up, my eyes locked on his. I turned away from him, but then looked back. By the way, I accept." I just wonder what the he.ll I'm getting myself into.


Chapter 10


“Come with me.” Zoot said, standing and moving from behind his desk. He opened the door, and I followed him down the hall wondering where the hel.l I was going. He opened a door and pushed me through. I stumbled and turned to glare at him. His icy stare warned me not to say or do anything.


“Listen up everyone.” He shouted, commanding attention. Everyone looked up at the couple. “Ebony will be my queen and rule beside me. She is to be as respected as I am, and you all will all be expected to do as she says. Anyone who does otherwise will answer to me.” The Locos nodded, and went back to their work. I was pulled back out of the door and we went back down the hall. As we went down the dimly lit corridor, I began to get scared again? What is he going to do to me? Will he hurt me? I became aware of a pain in my arm. Zoot’s fingers were wrapped tightly around my wrist, tight enough to leave bruises. He was pulling my arm so hard I thought it was going to come out of the socket. We passed several people, mostly men. They all gave Zoot looks that said, “I know what you’re going to do.” Some even gave him that knowing smile. That made me even more scared. I never acted like it in school, but I am still a virgin. We stopped at a door, and Zoot opened it and shoved me in. Oh God…a bedroom.


“Sit.” He commanded to me as he closed the door. The only place to sit was the bed. I gulped and did what I was told. Zoot turned, and walked towards me. I flinched has he came closer, but instead of doing what I thought he was going to do, he knelt down in front of me. He took one of my hands in his, and looked into my eyes. “Ebony, I’m not going to hurt you. I won’t do anything you don’t want to. Don’t be afraid.”



“Who says I’m afraid?” I asked him, hoping he wouldn’t be able to see past my façade. He always used to be able to.


“I see it in your eyes. You never could hide anything from me.” He smiled at me. “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to share a bed though. We don’t want to look suspicious.”


“Why would we?”


“Let’s just say people think things about me, but I’m not like that. Especially not with you.”


“I understand.”


“There’s some clothes in that dresser over there. I’ll leave while you change.” Zoot said, getting back to his feet.


“Ok. Thank you.” I said, relaxing a bit. Zoot reached down and touched my cheek, smiled at me, and left. I got up and walked to the dresser and pulled out a nightgown. As I changed, my thoughts were of Zoot. He was so different away from the Locos. He seemed…human. I climbed into bed, loving the feel of the sheets and the warmth of the blankets. This beat sleeping in a cell by far. I snuggled further into the covers and closed my eyes. A few seconds later, Zoot came in. He undressed and climbed into bed. I held my breath, wondering if he’d keep his word. And he did. I smiled, and soon feel asleep.

Chapter 11 ~ The Zebony begins...

I walked past the Locos, who were gathered by a bonfire, towards my bedroom. I'd had a hard day full of street fighting training and desperately wanted sleep. For the past week, I had been doing nothing but training. And getting rude comments from the guys and evil glares from the girls who wished they were me.

"Hey Ebony." An alcohol laced voice whispered thickly into my ear.

"What do you want Spike?" I said impatiently. I did not feel like dealing with his drunken as.s.

"Why don't you come to my room with me for some one-on-one training?" His breath was hot and sticky on my face, and the hand he'd placed on my back was slowly traveling south.

"Why don't you get the fu<k away from me?" I stared into his eyes, silently challenging him.

"Come on, Ebs. Don't be like that. We could have some real fun." He pulled me closer, thrusting his pelvis into my stomach.

"If you don't let me go, I swear I'll cut off you di.ck." I threatened, pulling out the sharp dagger Zoot had given me a few days ago.

"I suggest you let her go, Spike." A hard voice said from behind me. "Or you'll have both of us to deal with."

Spike glared at me, Zoot, then back at me again. He then released me.

"Apologize."

"Sorry, Queen Ebony." Spike muttered, laying the sarcasm on pretty thick.

"Now, get out of my sight. And," Zoot called as Spike started to turn away, "You ever touch her again, I'll kill you." Spike nodded, and ran off.

I turned to Zoot with a grateful but fearful look on my face. I knew what he was capable of. "He was drunk. He..."

"It's no excuse. No one treats my woman like that." Zoot told me simply. He wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders. "I'll walk you to our room."

As we headed to the building, I glanced over at Zoot. The man I'd given my life to. For the first time since The Virus, when I had Martin, I felt secure. Protected. The same way I felt whenever I was with Martin. I began to realized that he wasn't the monster he lead others to bleieve. You had to be a monster to survive in this world. You had to be shrewd, cold, and most importantly, powerful to survive. And Zoot was surviving.

We reached our room, and he opened the door to let me in. I went into the adjoining bahtroom to change. When I came back out, he was still there.

"Are you all right?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

He smiled at me, then got up and hugged me. "I've missed you, Ebs."

I looked into his eyes, surprised by the sudden change in character. "I missed you too. I still do." His eyes shadowed, knowing I was talking about my sweet Martin.

"You look tired." He said abruptly.

"I am."

"Well go lie down. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep." He said

I climbed into bed, and he pulled the covers over me, just as he had the night I was sick. He crawled over beside me, and put an arm around me. I curled against him. "Godnight Zoot."

"Sweet dreams, my queen."

The warmth of his body and the gently rhythm of his breathing soon lulled me to sleep.


Chapter 11, Part 2

I knew I should leave, or at least move over, or something, but I couldn't bring myself to separate from Ebony. I desperately wanted to "accidentaly" find myself wrapped around her, hel.l, on top of her but I knew I couldn't do that. I looked down at her, she looked so beautiful. The moon was filtering in through the window, casting a pale, ethreal glow on her cafe au lait colored skin. Her braids were spilled all over the pillows. Her breathing matched mine; our chests rose and fell together. Her breath was light and warm on my stomach.
I gazed at her face, and what I found there surprised me. She looked troubled, pained. She must be having a bad dream. I desperately wanted to wake her from it. "I'll take your pain away, Ebs. If only you'll let me love you." I whispered in her ear. I ran my thumb across her cheek. Ebony stirred, and her eyes opened. She looked up at me, almost lovingly, and closed her eyes again. I kissed her forehead and laid down next to her. She just woke up and obviously didn't mind me being so close, so what's the harm in getting a little closer? I wrapped my arms around her tiny body. She looked lost next to me. She moved closer and buried her head in my chest. I rested my head on hers, and joined Ebony in dreamworld

Chapter 12

2 weeks later, I stood with Zoot in font of all of the Locos. Spike was officiating the ceremony. I was pledging my loyalty to Zoot, and my “love.” Everyone called it our marriage. In the past weeks, I’d been through the street fighting training, “lessons” on just what a Loco was, and a ceremony where I was inducted into the Locos. And here I was today, standing there with Zoot looking into those ice eyes. But today, I noticed something much different. They didn’t look so icy. It was as if he actually meant what he was saying to me, that he would protect me, watch over me and…love me (that was the big shocker). I recited the words to him, and I realized that maybe I did mean it; that I did really love him. Martin had always held a special place in my heart and now…I didn’t’ know. I was so confused.

That night, Zoot haunted my thoughts. But as I fell asleep, they turned to my sisters. Hours later, I was waking up, screaming, tears running down my cheeks.

“ Ebony! Are you all right? What’s wrong?” Zoot asked, turning on the light and moving over to me. He put his strong arm around my shoulders, a move that always comforted me. I turned and cried into his arm.
“I-I’m ok. Just a dream…”

“You’re not ok, your trembling and crying. You never cry.”

“I wiped away my tears, suddenly ashamed I was showing Zoot my weak side. After all, he was the strongest person I’d ever known. And here I was, crying like a baby. I was just so scared for my sisters, guilty for leaving them. I pulled away. “Sorry. I didn’t…”

“It’s ok. Don’t be sorry.”

“But I was weak. You taught me to be strong, not to show emotion. Just like you."

Ebony’s remark hurt. I wanted to show emotion to her so badly. But I didn’t know how to anymore. Zoot’s persona had taken over, and squeezed out any Martin that may have been left inside me. I hated to see her like this, I wanted to kiss her and make everything bad go away. If only she would let me.

Zoot ran his thumb across my face like he had so many times before. “Is it so hard to believe that I’m not the person I appear to be? This strength, this coldness, it’s fake.”

“I do understand.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. High school was all an act.” Zoot nodded, and hugged me.

“Maybe we’re more alike than we thought.” He told me, kissing my head.

I nodded and hugged him back. I didn’t want that moment to end. I felt so secure, so calm in his powerful arms. He pulled away and stared into my eyes, straight into my soul.

Do it. Just kiss her. You love her, why not tell her? Why not show her?

Zoot leaned down and kissed me. A soft, gentle kiss that sent fire through me. I returned the kiss, opening my eyes to gaze into his, which had opened when mine did. I laid down and pulled him on top of me. Zoot broke the kiss.

“Are you sure? A few weeks ago you didn’t want me touching you.”

I nodded. “Yes. I love you.” The look on Zoot’s face was priceless. It was a mix of shock, jubilation and love.

“I love you too Ebs.” He slipped my nightgown off, then got out of his own clothes. Hours later, we lay spent and in each other’s arms. I finally was somewhere I belonged, somewhere I wanted to be for so long.

Chatper 13, Part 1

Zoot was unlike anyone I’d ever met. He was maniacal, egotistical, cruel…he was caring, loving, passionate; the kind of guy I’d always wanted. Minus the crazy psycho dread mode. But I knew it was all an act, and I accepted him for who he was. I never questioned him. I was always there when he needed me, just as he was always there for me. He had been right, we are more alike than I would have ever imagined. We were soul mates, it was as if we were the same mind in 2 different bodies. I loved him more than anything or anyone. Did I mention he was great in bed? Well, he was. Of course, I didn’t have anyone to compare him to, but I don’t think you can get better than Zoot. I’ll never forget that one night that involved the pink fuzzy handcuffs, and a few other props…

Chapter 13, Part 2

“Has Zoot been a bad boy?” I asked tauntingly, holding a whip in my hand, dress in a black leather Lil Kim influenced outfit. Zoot was attached to the bed wearing nothing but pink fuzzy handcuffs and a smile.
“Yes. I’ve been VERY naughty.” He said, his smile growing wider by the second.
“Well, then you must be punished.” I climbed up on the bed, standing, towering over him in my black stilettos. I raised the whip contemptuously, hitting him not so lightly.
“Again.” Naturally, I obeyed the mighty Zoot’s orders. I soon got bored with it and took to “punishing” him in a much different way. This way, he enjoyed much more of course. I stripped myself of the restraining leathers, and climbed on top of a very firm and engorged Zoot. He loved that I was doing all of the work, he just sat back and enjoyed the ride. As things got a little more intense, he started to mumble words I couldn’t understand. By the time we had reached climax, Zoot was screaming words that, now when I hear them, I have to keep myself from laughing.
POWER AND CHAOS!!



 

Chapter 14

It was dark and cold. It had just rained, making the air damp. Fog floated around the streets, blurring her already impaired vision. The moon was full and it cast a strange, ghostly glow onto the buildings. I kept turning around, I thought I heard footsteps behind me. It must have just been my imagination. But the steps seemed to be coming closer. I turned again, only to find nothing but fog and emptiness. When I pivoted again, however, something or someone was standing in my path. “Who are you” I asked, my voice shaking.

“Oh, you don’t recognize me?” A ghastly voice said. The figure stepped out of the haze, revealing itself to me.

“Java? ”

“Yes, dear sister. It’s us. The family you left behind.” Siva had appeared next to her.

I gasped, and tried backing away from them. But the mist had become a solid wall, blocking me from escape. I studied their faces more closely. The moonlight shone upon them, they looked old and deformed. The flesh seemed to be falling off of their bony faces, their limbs were twisted, their hair straggled and falling out. I tried looking away, but I couldn’t. My head, my eyes, wouldn’t move. The skies opened, and rain poured out. It washed away the rest of their skin, leaving nothing but rotted skeletons. I wanted to run, but the fog had closed in, leaving me trapped with the remains of my sisters.

“Ebony…Ebony..” The fog whispered to me, I couldn’t run, couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe…

“Ebony! Ebs, wake up!” I yelled, shaking Ebony awake. She finally sat up, breathing heavily, sweat pouring down her face.

“Zoot?” She asked, tears clouding her face, her lips pouting.

“Yes, Ebs, it’s me. It’s ok, you’re all right. I’m here.” I whispered to her, pulling her close. She was shaking, she looked lost and frightened. So much different from the dominatrix that was before me a few short hours ago. She’d been having these dreams a lot lately, they were taking over her night time thoughts. She was beginning to be afraid of falling asleep.

“I’m ok.” She said, looking into my eyes. I hugged her, and she hugged back. I couldn’t stand seeing her like this, I wanted to take it all away. But I couldn’t. The only thing I could do was stand back and watch her slowly fall away. “It scares me so much.” Ebony whispered, her sight focused on the door. I had no idea what she dreamt about, she never told me. All I knew was it killed her. I laid down pulling her down with me. She curled up next to me, like a little girl. I stroked her back and her hair, whispering calming words like “I’m here” and “I won’t let anything hurt you” in her ear. She became focused on tracing the lines of my stomach muscles, and soon her eyes shut again. I kissed her ruby lips, hoping that this time, the dream wouldn’t haunt her.

Chapter 15

The screams of agony and protest woke me out of a sound sleep. "What the hel.l is going on out there?" I mumbled, stumbling out of bed. I walked to the window and pushed back the curtains. Light poured in, I lifted a hand to shield my eyes from the blinding sun. It had to be mid afternoon, I felt like I'd been sleeping for ages. I couldn't see past the sun, so I threw on my clothes and ran outside.

I neared the source of the screams, and I slowed until I came to a dead stop. I knew I wouldn't be able to go any farther without throwing up or something. I had just walked upon an execution of one of the Locos. I remember hearing about him, he had committed treason. Today was his hanging. I'd never been a around for one of these before, though I heard they happened quite frequently. I knew I couldn't stay strong for one. Tears were rising and a lump was forming in my throat. Watching people being killed, that was one of my weaknesses. I couldn't show weakness.

At that moment, as a single tear ran down my cheek, Zoot saw me. The look on his face was deranged and I knew I had to get away. I turned and started to walk to my room. I could hear him running to catch up with me. I quickened my pace but knew I couldn't be seen running from my King. I sucked in my breath and wiped away my tears.

"Ebony. Finally decide to grace us with your presence? What's wrong, don't want to see what happens to those who betray me?"

"No..I...I.." I searched for words, words that wouldn't come. But tears did. I tired to stop them, tried to keep the fear out of my eyes. There was no telling what Zoot would do, in the mood he was in, if he saw me crying. Zoot stared down at me, disgust in his eyes, written on his face. I looked up at him, preparing myself for whatever may come. But what did come, I couldn't believe. His face turned from abhorrence to...remorse.

"Oh, Ebs. I'm sorry." He said, pulling me into a tight hug. My body began to convulse with sobs. "What is it?"

"I--he..death-I can't..." I attempted to tell him that I couldn't stand to see that mane die. The life being choked out of him reminded me all too much of my father taking my mother's life. I couldn't tell him though. All I could do was cry into his strong chest.


"Ssshh, Ebs. You don't have to tell me now." He said comfortingly, He rubbed my back and kissed my head until my tears finally ceased

Chapter 16

“Ugh…” I groaned, rolling over onto my back. For the past few weeks, I was nauseated and threw up anything I ate in the morning. I was getting quite sick of it.

“Good morning Ebs!” Zoot said brightly, entering the room.

“What’s your problem?” I grumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“You unusually and not to mention excessively cheerful this morning. You’re never like this.”

“Oh, I have my reasons.” He said mysteriously, setting a tray of food in front of me.

I took one whiff of the eggs and bacon, and ran off into the bathroom. I came back; Zoot was sitting on the bed, eating some of my toast. He offered me a piece, which I shook my head at.

“You have to eat Ebs. You ARE eating for two now.”

“What?!” I asked incredulously. I’d been sort of expecting that news, but part of me still doubted it.

“Yes, Ebony. I spoke with one of the girls who just had a baby herself. She said you have all of the symptoms.”

“I see. You must have told her everything then.”

“Well, I kind of had to, honey. Now,” He said, picking up a forkful of eggs and holding them to my mouth, “eat.”

I scrunched up my nose, trying to block out the scent, and opened my mouth. I managed a few bites of egg and toast, but avoided the bacon. Zoot obliged to eating that.

Later that day, I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling and rubbing my stomach. In about 8 months, I would have a little baby. I started contemplating names, but soon feel asleep. This time, my dreams were focused on the happy life I would have with my love, my soulmate, and my baby!

Chapter 17

A knock on the door abruptly ended my daydream. No one ever visited me, so I wondered who it was. I walked over to the door and opened it, surprised to see some girl standing before me, with Zoot behind her.

“Hey Ebs! How are you? I found a doctor. Well, a sort of doctor. She’s the girl I was telling you about before.”

“Hello, Ebony. I don’t think I’ve ever really met you. I’m Kayla.”

“Hi, Kayla.” I said, extending a hand to the girl. I ushered her in, and Zoot followed, shutting the door.

“Zoot told me that his suspicions about your being pregnant, and asked if I would come and give you a check up. Before the Virus, I was a PA training for obstetrics. So you don’t have to worry about me not being qualified.”

“It’s ok, I trust your opinion.”

“Now, Zoot. If you’ll kindly step out for a few minutes so I can look Ebony over?”

“Oh yeah sure!” He said, kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll be right outside if you need me, ok?” He hugged me tightly, then left. I was amazed. I’d never seen him so…so…happy!

About 20 minutes later, Kayla told Zoot he could come back in. “Well, I have good news for you. Ebony is definitely pregnant, and she’s doing very well. She’s due around July 24, but it may be later.” She said, turning to me. “Ebony, I’ll see you in a few weeks for another check up. Bye guys!” She exclaimed cheerfully and left our room.

Zoot came over to the bed where I was laying and laid down next to me. He toyed with one of my braids, and rubbed my stomach with his other hand. “Just think Ebs, soon, we’ll have a family. I can’t wait.” He kissed my nose, then my lips. The kiss was full of passion, and before I knew it, our clothes were off.

Chapter 18, Part 1

I turned over in my bed, rearranging my covers and fluffing my pillow. I glanced over at the clock, which read 4:15. 4:15…I’d been up all night. Nothing was helping me fall asleep. I guess I slept too much during the day. Sighing, I got up and threw on some clothes. Guess I’ll go for a walk.

I walked out of the building, glancing up at the sky. Clouds passed over the moon, giving the sky an eerie, scary-movie type look. Animals could be heard in the distance, owls hooted. I made my way around the perimeter of the compound, taking in the sounds and smells of the night. It was spring, and the air was scented with night flowers and a fresh dewfall. A few minutes later, I found myself at the entrance of the headquarters. Something in my mind told me not to venture out, but I did anyway. Little did I know that that decision was something I would regret forever…

Just a lil note: I did my little time jumping thing again. Ebony is now 4 months pregnant (you probably could have picked that up from this part but oh well!) And yes, this part too is short but they do get longer! (i think...)

Chapter 18, Part 2

I walked out of the compound, lost in my mind. I absently rubbed my stomach, my thoughts on my baby. Kayla had come to check on me today, and told me my baby seemed very healthy and my pregnancy was going very well. “What should I name you, little one?” I said, starting to think of names for my baby. If it were a boy, I’d love to name him Martin, after the man I knew was hiding behind Zoot. But I knew he’d never agree to it. Martin was a hated name with him. I guess picking a boy’s name wasn’t too important, because I knew it’d be a girl. Something inside told me so. I just knew that in 5 months, I’d be holding a tiny baby girl in my arms. Jaceony…that name had always been a favorite of mine. Jaceony Elizabeth…or Marie? Oh well, middle names aren’t that important anyway.

I smiled, thinking of holding little Jaceony and what she would look like. She would have my skin tone, and Zoot’s blonde hair. She would also have the cerulean blue eyes I knew hid behind Zoot’s iced over ones. She would also be tall like Zoot, and thin. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear the attacker sneak up behind me; didn’t hear the others moving in around me.

One had come up and hit me with some sort of blunt object on the back of my head. I fell to the ground, unconscious. I awoke minutes, maybe hours, later in a pool of liquid, an immense pain in my abdomen, and a splitting headache. I tried sitting up to see what I was lying in, but I was too weak. I reached down and put my hand in the thick, sticky liquid. I brought the hand to my face and gasped. Blood covered the hand. Tears began to run down my cheeks and I cried out. I realized just what had happened. I’d lost my baby.

Chapter 19

My screaming had alerted some of the guards, who had just come on duty. They rushed to where I was laying. “Ebony! What happened?” They asked, the bigger of the two lifting me and carrying me back to the compound.

“Walk…attack…my baby…gone.” I mumbled weakly, my strength, my life, was slowly slipping away. I knew the hemorrhaging had to stop.

They took me straight to Kayla, and one of the men took off to find Zoot.

“Ebony, oh my God! Put her down here.” She commanded to the guy that was holding me. She, along with another girl, applied pressure to my abdomen. I cried out, the pain was so incredibly intense. After a few minutes, they were able to stop the bleeding. Kayla checked over my other wounds. I had bruises all over my body; one in the shape of a brick was on my stomach. She bandaged the myriad of cuts on my arms and legs, and tended to my head. I was floating in and out of sleep, and sometime during all of this Zoot had come in. At one point I woke up and saw him next to me. He was holding my hand. The look of raw pain and pure sorrow on his face cut deeper than any other gash I had. He saw that I was awake and leaned down to kiss me. I looked in his eyes; I saw the pain and despair. I also saw the need for vengeance. I knew that if he ever found the people who’d done this, they would die a slow and painful death. AS I looked up at him, tears began to stream down my face. Looking around to make sure no one was around, the almighty, non-feeling Zoot shed a single tear.


 

Chapter 20

About a month later, I had fully recovered from all of my physical wounds. But the mental ones still would not heal. And those mental wounds were only about to get worse. Zoot hadn’t found out who had attacked me, and now, I knew he never would. I had already lost one person that meant so much to me. And now, a piece of me was about to be lost forever. Zoot hadn’t found out who had attacked me, and now, I knew he never would.

“No! Zoot, you can’t go!” I yelled, running to catch up with him.

Zoot stopped and turned to look at me. “Ebony, I have to. I have to see her.”

“Then I’m coming with you.” I said, adamantly wrapping my arms around him as if to anchor myself to him.

“I want to do this alone.”

“Why! Why are you leaving me?”

“I’m not leaving you. No matter what happens, I’ll always be here. My soul will live on in you. Stay strong, Ebony. I will return.”

“Zoot…Martin…” The tears were flowing like a waterfall. He was killing me. He gave me one of his intense gazes. He had tears in his eyes. Something was definitely wrong, I was totally sure of it now.

I looked down at my little queen. Her small arms were wrapped around my waist; for someone so tiny she held much strength. I couldn’t bear seeing her like this, I had to leave soon. I was weakening, tears were forming in my eyes. The only other time I’d ever cried was for Ebony. Now, I was crying for both of us. The future held nothing for me, but so much for her. I was sick of living my charade, we both were. I so longed to shed the persona I had built, and if that meant dying, so be it.

I gazed into her beautiful eyes, something inside told me this would be the last time I ever would. I kissed her, an earth-shattering kiss. She returned it, with all the passion she could muster.

As he kissed me, I tried to remember everything about it. It was so full of passion and desire. No one had ever kissed me like that, and no one ever would again. We pulled apart; I kept my hands on his face. I stared hard at him, trying to take in everything and lock it inside my head. I memorized the way his dreads fell into his icy eyes, how soft his skin was, the feel of his strong arms on my waist, the intensity of his gaze, how high he towered above me. I wanted to always have that picture of him in my memory.

“I love you, Ebony. I’ll be seeing you.” He said softly, kissing my nose.

“I love you!” I yelled. I watched him walk away, in his usual confident stride. He disappeared through the door and into the sunlight.

Chapter 21

I stayed, staring at the door Zoot had just walked out of. Tears that burned like fire were spilling down my cheeks rapidly. Everyone who passed sent me strange looks, but no one said a word. They had never seen their queen without her perfect make-up and cold exterior. They knew better than to question her, though. They just kept on walking, oblivious to the fact that their leader had left them. No, I won’t let him leave this. I won’t let him leave me.

I ran to the mall, hoping I’d catch him on the way back. I don’t know how I found my way, I was blinded by tears. My legs were like lead, fear was weighing me down. I stopped before entering the mall. I dried my eyes and tried to regain my composure. I walked into the mall, and heard yelling. Lex was running at Zoot, and the next thing I knew, Zoot was falling over the balcony.

“NO!” I screamed, running towards him.

“Ebony…” Bray said

I looked at him, my love’s brother. Something passed between us, a mutual grief. Lex came down the stairs, a proud glint in his eyes. I hated him. He killed the best, the only, thing in my life. My soulmate. Things were strained between us before, but any possible ties had now been severed.

Tears threatened to fall, but I wouldn’t let them. I knelt down and kissed Zoot’s still-warm lips one last time. Then I closed his eyes. The eyes that captivated me with their fire inside. I got up, turned, and walked out. I couldn’t stand to be there. I was scared of what I may do to Lex.

~*~*~*~*

I stood frozen on the beach, watching the boat being set aflame and cast out. . Bray spoke, “Goodnight Martin. God bless. Have a safe journey to the other side. Everyone will be there waiting for you. Mum. Dad. Everyone.” The Mallrats began to murmur. They had no idea Zoot was Bray’s brother. He and I were the only ones. No surprise registered on my face, I kept my eyes on the boat. As it floated out to sea, I thought I heard a splash. As if someone had jumped out. I strained to see if maybe he wasn’t really…but I was just getting my hopes up and setting myself up for more heartbreak when I realized it was just my imagination.
I was trying not to cry; I didn’t want them to see me cry. So I rebuilt my wall, the wall that had formed when Martin told me he loved Trudy. I rebuilt the wall that only Zoot had been able to tear down. But this wall, this wall would be indestructible. No one would ever get past it. I had been burned too many times and I wasn’t about to let it happen again. This time, it won’t be broken.


*~*~*~*~

After the funeral, I walked back to the Locos’ camp. I tried to stay calm as I walked back to my room, but I wanted to run. The sooner I was behind closed doors, the sooner I could cry. But I had to keep up my front for the Locos. As I walked past them, they gave me looks of sympathy. One of the girls that I’d become close to stopped me and gave me a hug. I hurried the rest of the way to my room and shut the door. I flung myself onto the bed and started to cry. Then I started wishing I hadn’t come here. His scent was everywhere and his presence still lingered. I moved to the floor, I couldn’t bear to be on the bed where we’d had so many happy memories. I’d given him my innocence, my purity there. It’s where we talked, where we laughed, where we cried. It’s where he held me and told me that everything was going to be ok. When I’d have a bad dream, he’d comfort me.

“Ebony. We need you, there’s a slight problem…” one of the Locos said behind my shut door.

“Leave me alone. Let Spike or Jaffa handle it.” I yelled.

“But Ebony…”

“I SAID leave me ALONE!”

“Yes Ebony.” I heard him walk away. God. I thought. Why? Why him? Our time together was so short, why did you take him from me? I broke down into tears again. As I lay on the floor, my tears started to subside. Something next to the bed almost covered. I picked it up and unfolded it. I gasped as I realized what it was. On the paper were lyrics to one of my favorite songs from before the virus. It had comforted me when my mother died. Before I left my sisters, and set out alone, I took this paper off of my wall and put it in my pocket so it would always be there. I had forgotten all about it. I read and reread the lyrics over and over, becoming strangely comforted by the words. It was almost as if I was supposed to find it.

Now you're gone
I wonder why you left me here
I think about it on and on again
I know you're never coming back
But I hope that you can hear me
I'm waiting to hear from you
Until I do
You're gone away
I'm left alone
A part of me is gone
And I'm not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
I wish I could have told you
The thingss I kept inside
But now I guess it's just too late
So many things remind me of you
I hope that you can hear me
I miss you
This is goodbye
One last time
And where I go you'll be there with me
Forever you'll be right here with me
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there



I climbed into the bed, and pulled the covers over me. I was suddenly so exhausted, I could barely keep my eyes open. After a few minutes, I fell into a deep and thankfully dreamless sleep.


Chapter 22

The next night, I found myself back at the place where Zoot and I had been married. It was in a small clearing in the forest with lots of trees and different kinds of flowers. The summer night was…beautiful. Beautiful was the only word to describe it. The midnight sky was crystal clear; not a cloud blemished the deep blue depths. It seemed like a million stars were shining in that sky. The moon was hanging high in the west. It was full and cast its pale glow upon the Earth. A light breeze blew, carrying with it the sweet scent of night-blooming jasmine and the fresh rainfall.

I started up at that sky, wishing I could be there. I wanted to fall into it, and be with Zoot. In a split second, a shooting star fell, bringing with it the promise of a wish to be granted. I inhaled the fragrance of the night and shut my eyes tightly. I made my wish and sent it off to the heavens. But I knew it was one wish that could never be granted.

As I made my way back to the room, I started thinking about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. I entered my room, and looked around. I hadn’t touched a thing since Zoot died. His clothes were still strewn about the floor, his pillow was still turned sideways. I ran over to it, burying my head in the pillow. It still smelled like him. I was trying not to cry, I refused to shed more tears. It was his fault he left, not mine. But…I still think there was more I could have done to stop him. If only…oh fu<k it. There was nothing I could have done. He’s to stubborn, when he makes up his mind on something, he does it not matter what. Maybe you didn’t love him enough. My mind argued. I decided to get up and busy myself with something, instead of thinking about Zoot. I stood in the middle of the room, looking around at it. I had to leave, there was no possible way I could stay here. There were too many memories and they were too painful. So I decided to leave the Locos. I packed my clothes and all of the things I’d accumulated since being there. Then, I took the rest of Zoot’s clothes, folded them neatly and put them in a separate box. I collected all of his other things, including the pillow, and put them in with his clothes. I walked out of the room, saying one last goodbye before closing that door forever. I was going to the Mall...hoping against all hope that they would take me in.

Chapter 23

It was four years later, and I couldn’t believe I was at this Mall again. I had come back, with Jay, to begin a new life without the Technos. Things were finally beginning to look right in my life. I had finally found someone I loved. And someone who loved me for who I was. The day I had met him, I knew Jay would be the one to change my life.

*~*~*Flashback*~*~*

I was in the Hotel when the Technos came. They stormed the place, taking over. I ran out of my room to see what was going on. I turned the corner, and found myself face to face with an amazing looking Techno.

“Watch where you’re going!” I snapped, not that I was that upset about running into that brick wall of a chest.

“Why don’t you? Who are you?” He asked coldly, as if he had no real time to stand around and chat with me.

“Ebony. City Leader.” I said just as cold as he had.

“City leader, eh? Well, not for long.” He threatened, then went back down the hall to whatever it was he’d been doing before.

I had a feeling that wouldn’t be the last I saw of him.

Chapter 24

Weeks later, Jay and I had become inseparable. I told him everything; things about me that no one else knew. I told him about my time with the Locos, and about the real Zoot. Jay told me about his time after the Virus, he even told me about Grace. I knew it was hard for him, the pain in his soul and the tears in his eyes said it all. But I wanted to help Jay, just as he had helped me. Because of him, I wanted to be a better person. And I was really going to try this time.

*~*

Jay and I sat on the roof of the Mall, overlooking the city. The sun was setting; casting shads of gold, sunflower, lavender, and rose over the sky. The tiniest of stars had begun to shin through, and the sun cast shadows on the clouds making them look thin and ethereal. We finished dinner, and now were staring at the sky, our shoulders touching, our hands twined together.

“Ebony?”

“Hmm?” I mumbled, turning my eyes up to his warm chocolate ones.

“Ebony, for the past few weeks, I feel like we’ve gotten really close. So close, in fact, that I think I’m beginning to fall in love with you.”

I looked at him, staring into his eyes. They were full of passion and love. I knew he was telling me the truth. I hadn’t been too trusting of men lately, but I knew I could trust him. I just wasn’t sure I could love him too. “Jay…I know how you feel, but I don’t know if I’m ready, or even able, to return those feelings just yet. I’m sorry.”

He looked at me with compassion and understanding. “Ebony, it’s ok. I’d wait forever for you.” He said, then leaned down and kissed me, a soft and gentle kiss.

*~*

Later that night, I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I hated admitting it, but I was scared by Jay’s confession. I wasn’t sure I still knew how to love. I’d been burned so much in the past, I didn’t know if I was ready to love again. And there was still Zoot…after all of these years, I still love him. And I feel as though I’d be cheating on him, or being disloyal if I was with Jay. I sighed, and turned over onto my left side. I shut my eyes tightly, willing sleep to come.

~*~

“Ebony….Ebony…” A voice whispered to me. I looked all around, trying to find out where it was coming from. I was in a white place…very white. Fog surrounded me, so much that even the ground looked like one giant cloud. I spun around when I heard my name be called again, and found myself face to face with someone I hadn’t seen in a very long time…

“Ebony. You still look so beautiful.” He said, walking over to me.

“Z—Zo-Zoot?” I spat out. How? This had to be a dream.

“Yes, my love, it’s me. Don’t be frightened.” He said softly, the expression on his face calm.

“Why? What do you want?” I backed up ever so slightly, and tried to touch him. My hand went right through.

“Ebony, I just came to tell you one thing. It’s ok to love. Don’t be afraid to let yourself fall in love with someone else. Your not cheating on me, or being disloyal. It’s ok to love.” He said, coming near me. His face seemed to brush mine, his lips touch mine for a brief, precioius second. Then he vanished.

*~*

I woke up, drenched in sweat. I looked around the room, half expecting to see him there. But he wasn’t. I touched my lips, but felt nothing. Was it a dream?

The next day, I told Jay I loved him.

Chapter 25

Jay and I had been together for a few months, and I was walking around on cloud nine. Everyone had noticed the change in me; I was happy, caring, helpful, everything the old Ebony wasn’t. That is, until, I started seeing Zoot around town. I changed again, but this time into a scared, confused little girl. I guess I was beginning to be too much for Jay to handle…

*~*

“Jay! I swear to GOD I saw him. He was here, in this room!” I shouted at Jay, tears streaming down my face.

“Ebony, calm down.” He said soothingly, putting a hand on my shoulder. Calm down? Is he crazy? How am I supposed to calm down when I just saw Zoot standing in my room two seconds ago? “Just lay down, and get some rest. You haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

“Jay, I-!” I started, but he cut me off.

“No, no more. Close your eyes, and go to sleep.” I lay down on the bed, and shut my eyes. The second he leaves, I’m outta here.

“Good, Ebony. Goodnight.” He said, shutting off the light and closing the door. Once he’d left and gone off down the hall, I got up. What the hell does he think I am a dog? I was starting to get pretty fed up with Jay. Lately, he’d been distant and unattached. I was suspecting he had something going on the side, but I wasn’t sure what it was. Yet. I was determined to find out. I sprung out of bed and left my room. I sneaked down the hall, and stopped at Amber’s door. Something made me want to stop there. I peeked in the crack in the door and almost fainted at what I saw. Amber and Jay were in there, going at it like two gorillas in a zoo. I put a hand over my mouth to keep from shouting out, and quickly walked away. So that’s what he’s been doing…or who, rather. A single tear slipped down my cheek. I couldn’t believe it. Just when I was beginning to think everything was going to be ok, and that everything was getting back to normal. Now, I was seeing visions of Zoot and my boyfriend, the guy who finally taught me how to love again, was screwing my worst enemy. I curled up into a ball facing my wall. I quietly sobbed myself to sleep.

Chapter 26

Hollow. Totally numb. The pain had become so extreme, so intense, that it had taken over and left me void of any feeling. The loneliness had eaten me inside out so that nothing was left except…emptiness. I wanted to scream, to cry, but the sound wouldn’t come out, and no tears would fall.
The day was beautiful. Not a cloud was to be seen for miles in the bright blue sky. A warm wind played, brushing my braids around my face and shoulders. The sun was shining but it did noting to thaw my frozen interior. I was pale and my eyes were dull. The fire in them had extinguished, leaving only a pile of ashes. I stood on the ledge of the roof, looking down at the concrete below. “I’ve lost it.” I thought. I could always rely on myself to cry, to let the emotion out. That’s what kept me sane. But I’d never felt like this, so alone, so without feeling. I started thinking about what drove me to the roof, what drove me to what I was about to do…

*~*
“What’s wrong with Ebony?” I heard Lex ask. I was standing at the door of the café, totally unnoticed by anyone. In the last few months, I’d become a shadow of my former self. No one noticed me.

“I don’t really know. Maybe it’s the whole Zoot thing?” Jay answered him. Or maybe it’s that you left me for her.

“I always thought she loved him, why would she freak out?”

“Maybe because he’s supposed to be dead.” Jay replied sarcastically.

“Love?” Amber snorted. “Ha, Ebony’s not capable of love. She only cares for herself.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I see that now.” Jay said, putting his arm around her and kissing her.

I ran away without a word, without a tear. If only Amber knew…I had loved, Zoot, and Jay. But maybe your love for Jay just wasn’t enough. It is your fault he left. The voice in my head told me. It had told me the same thing when Zoot had died. I walked back to my room, thinking that maybe the voice was right. My love for Jay could never compare to my love for Zoot. We had something different, something special that could never have been replaced. I was stupid for trying. My hopes had been raised, for a few precious weeks. I began seeing Zoot again, my hopes of rejoining him grew. I wanted to see him again more than anything. To be able to hold him, to touch him, to kiss him… But it was all a hoax. I missed him so much. Suddenly, all I wanted was to be back with Zoot. I didn’t care if I had to die to get there.

So here I am, looking down off of this roof, and having second thoughts. What if the people on the street were right, what if he was back? No, he couldn’t be. I watched the boat leave, I watched the flames consume it. But what about that splashing I heard? My imagination? Probably. But he told me, that he’d be seeing me. Did he see me when I closed his eyes? I never did check for a pulse.
My mind was working in overdrive I couldn’t keep up. My thoughts were spinning out of control. The pessimist in me told me he was gone and nothing I could do would change that, but the optimist said that maybe he was alive and waiting, searching for me. I laughed at my insanity, he’s not alive I told myself. He’s gone. My heart crushed again, and suddenly I could no longer bear the pain. I stepped closer, the wind blowing harder now. A tear slipped silently down my cheek as I looked down, fear ripping through me. I lifted a foot, poised to jump. The voice that had pushed me to the roof was now telling me to jump. “I could end it all now. End the pain.” I said aloud.

“Or you could get off that ledge, and come with me, Ebony.” He said from behind me, wrapping his strong arms around my waist and bringing me down to him. I didn’t know what to think. Was it really him? But as he gazed into my eyes, I knew it was him. No one could ever look at me the way he did. “Let me take away your pain. Let me love you again. That is, if you still want me.” He pleaded in my ear as he drew me into a tight hug. The warmth of his embrace was driving straight into me and thawing my frozen core. I began to feel again. I felt his love for me emanating from him. I smiled. I hadn’t smiled in weeks. Tears ran down my face, but for the first time, they were tears of happiness. Zoot cupped my face in his hands and brushed away my tears.

“I told you I would never leave you. I told you, that I’d be seeing you. I love you, Ebs.”

“I love you too, Zoot.” I loved him so much it hurt. But this, this was a good kind of pain. Zoot saved me; he brought me back to life. He wrapped his arms around me and together, we left the roof. We left my old life, and retreated into our own world. I didn’t even ask how he was standing there before me; how it was possible that he was alive. All I cared about was that my soul mate was back; I was once again whole.

THE END

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