Naughty Language: More than you can imagine
Nudity: Almost
Sexual Situations: A bunch
Blood & Guts: Much
Announcers: 3-D (Violent J) and Gweedo (Shaggy 2 Dope)
Announcers grade: B-
Best line: “The Honky Tonk Man said so, Juggalos!” -Honky Tonk Man
Best Match: Hizaya vs. Chris Hero
Worst Match: Billybill vs. Dick Nipple
After an opening video featuring a lot of wrestlers and matches you won’t be seeing on this or any tape so far, we go to the ring announcer, Slick Rick Buggles, who welcomes everyone to the show. He announces that there are three special guests in the house tonight. The first is “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” host Robin Leach. A look alike comes out. Next is Rupaul. Out comes a man dressed as a woman. 3-D acts like (s)he’s hot. The final guest is Michael Jackson. Out comes a dead ringer for the “King of Pop.” Gweedo and 3-D swear a lot here, and throughout the whole darn tape, not to mention make lewd remarks about people.
After that pointless segment, we go to Serious Darius Bagfelt, who’s in the back with Madman Pondo. Pondo doesn’t look happy. Darius says that we’ve seen Pondo on the previous two tapes, despite the fact that there’s only been one before this, and Pondo wasn’t featured. Darius asks Pondo what his problems are with the Insane Clown Posse. Pondo says that the ICP [messed with] him by changing his contracted pay from $1,250 to $12.50. He says that he’s going to [mess] up the world of his opponent tonight.
Hornswagglin’ Hillbilly vs. “The Giant Killer” Tom Dub
Even the ring announcer cusses. Look at that ring. It’s small and looks cushioned or something. I want that ring, but take the ICP symbol off of it. Hornswagglin’ Hillbilly comes out, and he weighs 725 pounds, and it’s all fat and water. I can’t see him surviving much longer at that weight. He’s so big, he can’t even get up the stairs without crawling. The announcers say that King Kong Bundy is hiding in his overalls. Tom Dub, who works for Psychopathic Records (ICP’s label), weighs 141 pounds. On the last video, he was squashed by King Kong Bundy. Oddly enough, Dub looks like he’s ready to fight this time.
I’d mute this video, but I’m listening for a line I can call funny. Dub comes in and punches Hillbilly in the gut, so Hillbilly clotheslines him without moving much. Hillbilly waddles at Dub in the corner, but Dub gets out of the way, then tries to mount a comeback with weak forearms. Hillbilly headbutts him, clotheslines him down, then splashes him (falls on him) for the pin. That lasted all of thirty seconds. Announcers say that Hillbilly (who they refer to as Haystacks, after Haystacks Calhoun) is actually very athletic, and is known for high flying moves, which is a lie. Afterwards, he splashes Dub two more times, and Dub is checked on by people.
Winner- Hornswagglin’ Hillbilly
Serious Darius is in the back with the Honky Tonk Man, who’s sitting on a box with a half circle of ICP fans around him. He asks what song they want him to sing, and they all name ICP songs, one being “Chicken Huntin’.” Honky thinks he said “Chicken [poop],” then says he’s not hunting chickens, but insane clowns. Honky says he’s into real rock n roll. Darius asks how he feels being in JCW. He says he’s the greatest of all time, he plays the guitar, he sings, he dances, the ICP does not. When the Honky Tonk Man rolls into town, the people want to see 59 pink Cadillacs, not that junk that the ICP puts on. “Psychopathic Records is nothing but garbage, and the Honky Tonk man said so, Juggalos!”
”Who The [Heck] Are These Guys?” Match
Hizaya vs. Chris Hero
Hero is a rising star on the indies, wrestling for IWA Mid-South (where a lot of JCW wrestlers come from), as well as Mid American Wrestling and Germany’s Westside Xtreme Wrestling (a fed I want a video of). Hizaya used to be in IWA Mid-South, but I don’t know where he is now. I like Hero’s “X”’d out Superman logo shirt, even though I still like Superman. He comes out to “My Hero” by the Foo Fighters.
Hero says that he’s the only [stinking] hero, and he’s going to show [Hizaya] why, then runs to attack, but Hizaya beats him to the punch (literally). Hizaya sends Hero outside, then dives over the ropes onto him. Gweedo: “He jacked that move of the Hornswagglin’ Hillbilly.” Hizaya does a twisting body press off the top to Hero outside, but doesn’t hit it all. Match is suddenly clipped to Hero clotheslining Hizaya in the ring. Close-up on Hizaya on the mat, and 3-D makes fun of his not appearing hurt. Okay, I’m muting this so I don’t talk about the announcers the whole time. Frog Splash by Hero for two. Nice reverse DDT thing by Hero. Hizaya reverses an inverted DDT into a Northern Lights suplex for two. Hero hits the Hero’s Welcome (Dragon sleeper into spinning face plant (AKA Chris Daniels’ Last Rites)) for two. Hero gets a chair and puts it on Hizaya, the proceeds to miss a moonsault. Hizaya gives Hero a facebuster on the chair for two. Hizaya with a top rope Frankensteiner, followed by a Swanton bomb for the win.
Winner- Hizaya
The Insane Clown Posse (Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope) drive up in a car and park outside. Now it’s obvious that they have this show at their big house, because there’s no arena here, just big houses. They get out of the car, and J says he doesn’t see Raven’s car. Raven is apparently supposed to be their tag team partner tonight. They open the trunk and pull Evil Dead (Violent J’s brother under a mask) out and carry him to the building.
In the back, some gangsta-looking guy is taking a hit of weed. he passes it to a goofy looking guy in facepaint and big golden shoulder pads. The guy says he looks like a Power Ranger. He passes it to Tarek the Great, who’s dressed up as Doink the Clown (he was forced into this gimmick on the first tape). He says that he looks like his mom had an affair with Bozo. He passes it to that gangsta guy, who’s now sitting next to him. He says he’s not even a wrestler, and asks where (?) is. He passes to some guy in Psychopathic Records clothes. He says he’s supposed to be setting up the ring, and wants to know where Billy is. He passes to the Hornswagglin’ Hillbilly, who says that they don’t have any “hog jaws and collared greens on the road, either” (what?). He passes to the gangsta guy again, who says that he’s a big [dude]. He’s about to pass it to a guy in a Cryptkeeper mask (Hollywood Chuck Hogan) with a shaky hand, but then says, “you ain’t ‘bout to hit it, Holmes!”
Double Tables Match
Dick Nipple vs. Billybill
Nipple is a guy dressed as an attorney. They say he’s Sharon Osbourne’s attorney, and, if he wins this match, will get to sue the ICP. Boy, they sure use these shows to lash out at people. Billybill is the ICP’s bodyguard.
Billybill comes into the ring, hits Nipple, and powerbombs him through one of the tables. He then picks him up and powerbombs him through the other table to win. Then he leaves.
Winner- Billybill
Serius Darius is in the back with Chris Hero, who is from the metropolis of...Metropolis. He asks if Hero has any thoughts on his match against Hizaya. This was filmed before the match, by the way. Hero says that his shirt signals out with the old and in with the new. Madman Pondo comes in and hits him with his STOP sign, then shoves Darius. He says to [heck] with JCW, he’s the only man you have to worry about, and he’s [messing] everybody up. Darius hits him with his own STOP sign, then tells him never to [mess] with a Serious Darius interview.
The ICP is shown walking in the back looking for Raven. The go into the bathroom and look in the stalls, finding only Hollywood Chuck Hogan on the john. They then run into Big Flame, Neal, and Bob, their effeminate opponents for later. They are acting gay, as Big Flame is lying with his pants down to under his rear end.
Death Match
Madman Pondo vs. Fat [Junk] Barrel Boy
Okay, wait, Pondo was wearing a “From Dusk Till Dawn” shirt in the back, and now he’s wearing an “Exorcist” shirt. He’s also got his STOP sign, which, as always, is edited to read “Can’t STOP Pondo.” He really just looks like a pudgy guy trying to be Raven without the jacket. Barrel Boy is actually “Mean” Mitch Page from IWA Mid-South. He comes out with a barbed wire baseball bat, wearing a plastic, bottomless trash can with his fake name on it.
They start with a lock up, of all things, but break it. Pondo gets clotheslined and almost falls into one of the beds of thumbtacks in the ring. He hits Barrel Boy with his sign. A little flash of color, and the match jumps ahead to Pondo with a staple gun. He staples Barrel Boy’s back before getting kicked in the junk. Skip ahead again, and Barrel Boy is stapling dollar bills to Pondo’s head. Another clip, and Pondo takes the gun, stapling a bill to Barrel Boy’s nose. he takes Barrel Boy’s wifebeater off and Russian leg sweeps him into the thumbtacks. Skip ahead, and Pondo gets tossed off the top, but only his leg lands in the tacks. Barrel Boy bodyslams him into the tacks, then lands a Vader Bomb. Clip, and Barrel Boy misses a second rope splash, landing in the tacks. Pondo hits Barrel Boy with the barbed wire bat, then rakes it in his face. Clip, and Pondo staples Barrel Boy’s groin twice. He takes Barrel Boy out of the ring and through the crowd, putting him on a table that just happens to be out there. He climbs up to the balcony and falls onto the table, pinning Barrel Boy. You know, I found a tape online that has this match in its entirety, but I’m debating on whether I should get it.
Winner- Madman Pondo
Cut to Madman Pondo in the ring, now wearing his other shirt, proving that this must have taken place at some other point. He’s bloody, so it must have been afterwards, or at a different show. There’s a ladder in the ring, so there you go. He complains about the ICP, which brings Barrel Boy out. He tells Pondo to try and talk some trash to someone’s face, then brings out...Vanilla Ice. And it’s really him, too, I’m serious. Ice hits Pondo with the STOP sign while Barrel Boy holds him, the hits him off of an Irish whip. Then he staples money to his face.
Cage Match
The Rudeboy vs. Abdullah the Butcher w/ some guy
The announcers bring in the Rudeboy to guest commentate on his own match. Rudeboy also works for Psychopathic. This is a rematch from the first tape, where Abdullah beat and cut Rudeboy to a pulp. Rudeboy tries to attack Abby on the ramp, but Abby no-sells and throws him into the ring’s side. He beats Rudeboy with a metal barrel, throws him around, and stabs him with a fork before finally getting in the cage. Rudeboy stupidly follows. Abby stabs Rudeboy with a fork, bites him, fishhooks his mouth with the fork, rips his shirt off, stabs him with a broken beer bottle, and eventually hits him with his only wrestling move, the running elbow smash. His manager hands him a rope, and he puts it around Rudeboy’s neck, tossing the other side over the cage. He walks out the cage door and grabs onto the rope, then pulls it, hanging Rudeboy from the cage and exiting the cage at the same time for the win. He holds the bloody Rudeboy there for a while, then finally just leaves.
Winner- Abdullah the Butcher
They show a music video to an ICP song, made entirely from scenes of wrestling. Man, I can’t believe I used to like these guys. Wrestlers shown that you may recognize are Vampiro, King Kong Bundy, the Honky Tonk Man, Leatherface, the ICP, Cash Flo, George “The Animal” Steele, and everyone we’ve already seen. I actually wish some of these matches were shown instead of these non-matches we’ve seen.
Big Flame, Neal, and Bob vs. JCW Tag Team Champions The Insane Clown Posse (Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope) and JCW Champion Evil Dead w/ the Rudeboy
Shown are the entrances from a similar match, featuring the ICP teaming with that gangsta guy from the back vs. the three homosexuals. The announcers say that the homosexuals didn’t want this match to bee shown, so they show the match listed above, claiming it’s from Australia. Actually, it took place in Maryland, or somewhere like that. I found the tape of it online. By the way, Big Flame is fat and also wrestles as Mr. Meaner. The buffer of the skinny guys wrestled as the Redneck Devil Without A Cause on the first tape. I don’t know anything about the other guy. The ICP, despite what I think of them and their music, aren’t as bad at wrestling as you would think. Evil Dead staggers around like he’s a zombie.
J starts out with Big Flame, who puts him in a full nelson and swivels. J Irish whips him, and he tumbles over the top rope. Shaggy jumps onto him from the top turnbuckle. The not-as-buff gay guy does the same onto Shaggy. J teases a suicide dive, but instead press slams the ref onto the three guys outside. Back in the ring, tags on both sides, and Shaggy clotheslines the not-so-buff guy, then hits a Jackhammer that he almost botched. Rudeboy holds out Evil Dead’s hand to tag. Dead beats on the guy, then falls over and staggers back to his feet. The guy tags to the buff guy, who apparently wants Dead disqualified for something. He beats on Dead for a bit, then Dead fights back. His moves are slow, but powerful looking. Dead climbs the turnbuckle, then spins around a crotches the top of the ring post. The ICP pull him off, and he goes and crotches the buff guy on the ring post. The other two come in to help their partner, and Dead clotheslines the skinny guys and DDTs Big Flame. He staggers around, then falls headfirst into Flame’s groin. Shaggy tags in and hits a Famasser on the buff guy, then throws him out. His partners try to push him back in, but Shaggy hits a leg drop on him while he’s coming through the ropes. J tags and hits a Death Valley Driver and a Michinoku Driver. The buff guy fights back with a botched jawbreaker and tags Flame, who bodyslams J. Superkick by Flame. J tags Shaggy. Shaggy sells a clothesline by the not-so-buff guy, who’s really flexible. Tag to Flame, who powerbombs Shaggy, tag back to the buff guy who hits a Swanton bomb, then a big elbow drop. Shaggy dodges a splash in the corner and hits a top rope fall away slam. J gets the hot tag and does the traditional clotheslines and hip tosses. he Samoan drops Big Flame, then tags Shaggy. They botch a Dudley Death Drop (flapjack into Diamond Cutter) on the buff guy, but Shaggy pins him anyways. Afterwards, the announcers say that Evil Dead would go on to lose his title to Breyer Wellington. I think Vampiro has it now.
Winners- ICP and Evil Dead
After waiting a while after the credits, there’re scenes of the Hornswagglin’ Hillbilly in a Speedo. Now you will have nightmares.
Final Verdict: To put it simply, don’t buy this tape. There’s barely any real wrestling. If you want to see anyone on here, buy an IWA Mid-South tape or something, because they’ll actually be wrestling there. I mean, Chris Hero can go for an hour and a half, so wouldn’t you rather see that than his four-minute match with Hizaya? Plus, the announcers swear so much, as does everyone else. I’ll admit, I must be a crazed wrestle-freak to buy this. The only reason I reviewed it instead of the first is because this has more actual wrestling. Don’t buy it. Get some real wrestling instead.