(The scene opens up to a stadium packed FULL of fans, seemingly for the same team. As the camera pans around it can be seen that it is in the Network Associates Arena, home of the Oakland Raiders, affectionally known as the "Black Hole." Raiders fans can be seen everywhere, Ravens fans however are hard to find, the only remnants of The Ravens are Ravens hanging from a string around its neck and a knife going through its heart. In the crowd can be seen many dolls resembling the horror film character "Chucky" with a coaches headset on its head. There appears not a be a single normal fan in the place, one dressed as a silver and black Pharaoh, a silver and black Spartan, and even Darth Vadar is in attendance today for the AFC Championship game. As the camera pans in, now four familiar fans can be seen in the crowd, which would be: Commando dressed in a Charles Woodsen jersey, Lone Wulf in a Tim Brown jersey, Nemesis in an Andre Rison jersey, and the beautiful Casey Taylor dressed in a Rich Gannon jersey again rolled up from the bottom to expose her "midsection.")

Nemesis: (without horn) WEEERRRRRWWWWWWWOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Commando:(holding another jumbo beer) Damn it Nemesis, we are in OAKLAND now, not Minnesota!

(Nemesis stands up on top of his seat and then squatting and holding his finger to his lips)

Nemesis: Shhhhhhhhhh, that's besides the point.

AT: Nemesis you dumbass that IS the......

LW:Alan don't even try he doesn't understand.....

AT:Oh well....

Nemesis: GO TEAM!!!!

LW:Nemesis dogg the game ain't even started yet....

Nemesis: Oh.....

LW:Can't I get a f***ing beer around here?!

(From out of the sea of black and silver appears a beer man)

Beer Man: I can help you with that problem sir!

LW:Good man, I'll take a kart.

Beer Guy:Kart?

LW:Yeah mice nuts, that ones you gots strapped on ya?

Beer Guy:I just loaded up!

(Lone Wulf stands up now.)

LW:I see that, now gimmie the f***ing kart!

Beer Guy:All right sir, that'll be one hundred fifty dollars...

LW:Gawd damn! Alright man here ya go, now don't come back without another full kart!

(Lone Wulf sits down and commences drinking a jumbo beer.)

AT:Got enough there, buddy?

LW:Hey....I lead the nation in inebriation!

Nemesis:That REMINDS me!

(reaches into his pocket but pulls out nothing, looks at his empty hand in confusion.)

Nemesis:Wait.......wait a minute

(puts hand back into same pocket getting the same results as before.)

Nemesis:What the F***, where's my zippo at?

LW:Chill out.

Nemesis:NAH! NAH! This is my lighter we're talkin' about, that s*** just doesn't SLIDE!

AT:I'll put an end to this. (turns around and faces a man sitting behind him.) Do you have a lighter? Wait a minute....Te.....

TG:Yes it is I! Ted "I get more California Love in Oak-town then Tupac Shakur and Dr. Dre COMBINED!"

AT:How ya' been m...

TG:(interupting) The man that will RAID-HER panties.....

AT:Ok, but...

TG:(interupting) The man that doesn't need to go RAVEN' just to get what he's cravin'......

AT:Um....Ted?

TG:The man who never fails to proove just how much of a GIANT he is.......

(all of MD together)

MD:TED!!!!!!!

TG:Givler!!

AT:You're just in your own little world, aren't you?

Ted:Ummm.. yeah bascially.....

AT:Uh huh....Well anyway we missed ya man, its been a long time, ain't seen ya since Cannuckada.

Ted:Yeah man Good times....

Nemesis:Good times...

Lone Wulf:Yeah good times

Casey:Good times

AT:What the hell?

Nemesis:Mannnnnn BOO! Alan you ruined it man.

AT:What man, just got blow your horn.

Nemesis:Horn?

AT:Yeah that Vikings horn...

Nemesis:(without a horn) Oh yeah WEEEERRRRRWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

LW:Damn you had me fooled, thought it was really a horn, your a talented little bastard!

Nemesis:Ya damn skippy!!!!

Ted:Anyway Alan, I saw you guys on TV for the SSN's ppv Genesis, you guys really cleaned house, I espeically like the part when you guys took out the boss.

LW:Might not be the last time, too bad Zieba isn't still here we'd do the same thing to his ass!!!

Ted:Now that's something I would pay to see!

Casey:Have you seen or heard from Barry at all? I miss that little Jew with all his signs.

Ted:Last I heard of Barry he was last sighted somewhere in the Atlantic City area, not sure what he was doing there though. Although the Hispanic women there are FIESTY, and you guys know Barry likes'em like that!

Nemesis:Yeah that could be a distinct possiblity, I like them South Kakilaka hoes myself though.

Ted:Ah the Dirty "South" if ya smell what the studmuffin is cookin.

Nemesis:Ohhh heelllllllll yeah!

Casey:Alright that's enough outta you two!

Ted: So whats next for you Alan in the SSN, you got match?

AT:Yeah I got a match. Its against Hellfighter, this match is kinda personal cause this guy managed to get a win over our old buddy Kevin, and he has been living and bragging off that one win ever since. You listen to him talk about his list of accomplishments and he is always talking about his match with K-9, K-9 wasn't alright, hell that's when we committed his ass.

(Lone Wulf puts his head down)

AT:When I first saw this guy come onto the scene, I thought he was some sort of Satan Worshipper. Witha name like Hellfighter, come on now. So did everybody else, I mean nobody knew who he was. I see him cut a promo and the guy is hanging out with Kirk Franklin....

Nemesis:All my people say STOMP!

AT:Yeah the ring leader of that gospel group called.....???

Nemesis:God's Property says STOMP!

AT:Yeah that's the one.....Anyway, The man was hanging with Evander Holyfield to, I mean this is Bible Toter is all about spreading the message, now I have nothing against what he's doing outside the ring, no offense to our comrades Barry and Brian. But this kinda thing does not belong in the ring, just leave it at home, or save it for the the door to door people.

Lone Wulf:Yeah I slammed my door on one of those Jahovah Witnessessssesss.

Ted:Wulf that's just.....just wonderful man......Anyway Alan continue.

AT:Man you know people in the SSN just don't get it, we say we are loners, and that we have no alliegence to anybody, and we don't but what do they do, they totally distort the mutha fucka up and start saying things like "you guys make about as much sense as a band called the Lone Rangers." They as usual missed the entire point of what Nemesis was talking about.

Nemesis:Somtimes I have a hard time figuring that out to...

Ted:Figuring out what?

Nemesis:What Nemesis is talking about....

LW:Okay you don't talk anymore....

Ted:Oh wait I remember who Hellfighter is, he's that guy you threw off the roof right?

LW:Nah man that was A-ho....

Ted:3D'ed?

LW:Might wanna narrow that down some.....

Ted:Wait a sec he's the guy you slammed his head into the concrete all those times!

LW:That's the one!!!!

AT:But back to what I was saying, about the loner thing. It seems everybody in this damn promotion has either chosen the side of the EWI....

LW:Is there even an EWI?

AT: OR! They have chosen the SSN, but what has MD done is broken the mold once again, we are by our damn self, no allegience to either f**king side, we are loners unto ourselves, but they don't understand that. We don't have any friends in this place, the only people we can depend on is us and thats it!

LW:And we wanna keep it that way to!

AT:Now I will give Hellfighter credit the man does have talent he can compete in the ring......

LW:Remember when you had that feud with Gemini and he keeped saying you couldn't wrestle?

Ted:Huh?! Alan you are like one of the most technically sound guys in the business, you just often choose not to use it and beat all these bums at their own f'n game.

Nemesis:He's switchin sides like a Gemini!

Ted:Huh?

Nemesis:He Bites He Bites!

LW:Now what did I just tell you about talking?!

Nemesis:Ohh yeahhh......

LW: Yeahhhh!

Nemesis:What did you tell me...............?

LW:Nev.....nevermind man..............

AT:Anyway man, you should watch th show, its gonna be a hell of a match man, this is my first match back since my little hiatus.

Ted:Didn't you go to Amstredam?

AT:Not this time but I wish I had man, you'd love it there.

LW:Man I wanna go to Amstredam!

Casey:You might not make it back...

LW:EXACTLY!!!!

AT:Whatever, it ought to be a technically sound matchman, which is a rarity these days, but the one promising thing, depending on your point of view is that the SSN is that they encourage that kinda thing, you never see it anymore, there is always a hardcore stip of some kind in there in the EWI.

Ted:Your worrying me Alan.....

AT:Hey man don't get me wrong I love those hardcore to the bone matches as much as anybody but its nice to have a slight change of pace once in a while..

Ted: Alan*sighs* you had me scared there for a second....

AT:Sorry about that, when you hear people talk about their opponents they always talk trash about how sorry they are and how they shouldn't even be in the same ring as them, but man I'm not gonna say that about Hellfighter, even though there was that time with K-9 I still got respect...

Everybody in Unison:HUH!?

AT:For his ABILITY guys! Geez man damn....

Nemesis:Why? I ain't got NO respect for him, I'd SMOKE that mofo like itain't no THANG!

LW:You smoke EVERYTHING like it ain't no thang.

Nemesis(blink blink):OH YEAH.

Ted:There isn't much you won't smoke really.

AT:You three are about as easily distracted as a ferret on crack!

Nemesis:(Stands back up onto the seat again squats on it with finger to lips) SHHHHHHH! That's besides the point.

LW:Man sit down and save it for the game!

Ted:Alright man its about 10 min. from kickoff time, and lookie there, its the man known as the Polish Hammer, Sabastian Janikowski warming up.

LW:Probably trying to work out the effects of that all night bender he was on.

Nemesis:(out of nowhere, with a real tripped out look on his face)It feels like I have been sucked into a black hole!

AT:How ironic!

Nemesis:Why?

AT:Because your in the "BLACK HOLE" baby!!!!!

(Scene fades to black.)


(Fade in on "The Clash" Keith Rotten. It is the middle of the night and he is sitting against what looks to be a white wall. He is wearing a leather jacket, white t-shirt, black jeans, and black boots. He lights up a cigarette and takes a drag before he speaks.)

Keith Rotten: Well it looks like I have myself a match at Shockwave. Myself and the Motor City Maniacs taking on Overdrive and a mystery opponent. (Mockingly shakes his hands) OOOHHH a mystery opponent. I'll get to that in a second. First up, the Motor City Manics. My partners. I don't know you guys and frankly, I don't care. I prefer to work alone. (Takes another drag of the cigarette) As long as you two hold up your end and don't screw anything up, we'll get along just fine and we will win this thing.

KR: Now, as for my opponents. Overdrive, I don't know you guys either. But you are my opponents, and that means I'm going to have to kick your asses. It's as simple as that. You're about to find out what violence is all about. There's also this mystery opponent guy. I'm not threatened by anyone who doesn't have the cajones to tell me who they are. That's cowardice, plain and simple. And I will destroy whoever it is. All of you will know why I am the number one contender for the Intercontinental Title. Now, speaking of the Intercontinental Title, I heard Cole Steele running his mouth. Steele's talking about how most of the champions in EWI/SSN are traditional wrestlers. Well Steele, I could care less. you could put me in 50 wristlocks if you'd like, but I find that cracking a guy across the head with a steel chair gets the job done just as well. Now, we will have a match, even if that means that I have to hunt you down until I get what I want. I don't ask for things. I take things. And I will take your Intercontinental Title. Thats all there is to it. But first, I will beat the hell out of Overdrive and their partner at Shockwave. Thats all there is to it.

(The camera pulls away to reveal that Keith Rotten is leaning on the Arch in St. Louis. Fade Out)


CUT TO: Other than Wicked Sight, who else’s locker room would be surrounded with red neon lights, black lights, lava lamps, and speakers bellowing out tunes from the latest Godsmack CD? His locker room is exactly where the man known as Wicked Sight sits, his wrestling gear already on and his eyes set on destruction.

WS: Why didn’t I end that dude’s career? Call me a nice guy. But Bobby Jackson, if you think for one second that you’ll get off as easy as Motorbreath, you’ve got the wrong thought just moments before our match. Weren’t you one of the Natural Born Killers? That’s… that’s real nice. You know, I’ve wanted to take you on for a long time. That’s right, when I threw your ass over the top rope in Trinidad to get a shot at the CSWA gold I rightly deserve, I knew that you weren’t like the rest of the competitors. You were a step ahead of them, and you were simply the victim of fate.

But now… fate is nothing compared to the wrath I’m unleashing on you.

When your head bounces off the canvas like a basketball on concrete, your breath escaping your lungs and my onslaught continuing, know that you aren’t the only one. Ask Cameron Cruise… he’s like Axl Rose - if we ever see him again, he won’t be in any sort of good shape. Ask Motorbreath, he looked into my eyes and knew that I was letting him go. I was saving my energy, saving my carnage, saving my unadulterated hate for ninety-nine percent of the human race on someone like you. It really is a shame for you that your first match back, you get stuck with the man that is ripping heads off for no reason on a quest for gold in the EWI, and you know why I’m doing that? I’m doing it because it’s about damned time that I do something for myself. The Freak. The ORIGINAL Freak. Because the Freaks Run The Pageantry.

You think my conscience will wear on me when your back is quivering and your face is that proverbial crimson mask? Before religion, man was nothing… After "God" came along, man lived up to an external source and looked to it for government over their every-day lives. And when we started realizing "God" isn’t here anymore, or maybe never has been, that’s when we started living for ourselves… I mean, the Bible has a great deal of things to live by… but even IT doesn’t say anything about not breaking a person’s body for a hobby you love when they’re begging for it by stepping in the ring with you. The EWI still hasn’t seen a fraction of what they’re in for, but it’s slowly unfolding. Ask Cammy and Motorbreath, and after tonight you can ask Bobby Jackson via satellite from his hospital bed. What the sad part is, Bobby, I really don’t have a problem with you. But I didn’t have a problem with Cam or Motor neither… it just so happens that you are in my way. And like a hurdle runner making his way to the finish the race, I’m just hopping over obstacles one-by-one. But instead of merely hopping over them, I’m ANNIHALATING THEM, so Bob-O, take out some life insurance and know that you will not pin my shoulders or break my spirit, but I’ll break your BONES and hit A View To A Kill, and you will not kickout for the three count.

Bobby… listen real, real close… I PROMISE.


(Scene opens up with Jimi Sinister and Ozzy McSarah, standing outside of the arena, along the fence in the parking lot. It's dark, almost midnight to be exact, and The Express look calmer than ever, or so it seems)

Jimi: (breathes heavily) Some of you may wonder why we are out here, standing along this fence in the middle of the night. Tommorow, we have the greatest match of our lives, and it really calms the nerves to be out here, among the darkness of night, to talk to oneself.

You see, Party Animals, it's here, now, right here. The first time, it was just a match that EZ put for the amusement of the fans. A debut match. A chance to see the future of EWI. It was a tough match, with all four of us giving it our all. That was a great match.

After that, however, came a second match. To us, it was a waste of everyone's time. We were both capable of great things. Why even bother? But, you persisted for it. You had to have it. So,there we were, in a second match. We fought tooth and nail, until finally, you came out the better team. You just did. I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to whine. You won that day. You redeemed yourself.

Then came the third match. You wanted a steel cage match. We didn't like the idea, because we didn't want to go a third time. We had just proven to each other the fact we were both great. But no, you had to ask. So, here it is, match three. The Heavy Metal Express against the Party Animals, tag team cage match. Wow. Amazing. But, you guys were right about one thing.

It ends here. The finale is upon us.

Ozzy: Listen PA's! It's time for blood! It's time for pain! It's time for punishment! You will all pay dearly for your arrogance, lads! You will pay! The first time, it was just a wee joke, the second, you stinky ######, was just for another go. But, you whiny babies needed a final match. WELL, YOU GOT IT, YOU PUNKS!

Because I will not rest until I destroy you! You will all be downed tonight, aye, 'tis true! We are not your scapegoats, and we won't take anymore! That's it, I'm gonna...

(Ozzy kicks over a trash barrel. He screams and attacks it. Jimi laughs.)

Jimi: Heh heh heh. Y'know, there is only one thing that sets off the calmness of night. The fantasies of tommorow.

The fantasy of me taking your heads, and BASHING them into the cage(punches the fence repeatedly) and again. And then SCRAPING your face along the edges! Then, POUNDING you into a pulp! I won't take it! (Jimi continues to beat punch the fence, each shot getting more emotional than before.)

Ozzy: (returns from beating the trash can) Y'know what, me laddies? It's going to be one hell of a ride! I'll do to you what that I wish I could've done a LONG time ago: piledrive you into the chair! Or a table! I want to destroy you! No more time for games, this is war, you puny American scum! I think we are gonna crush you, filthy Yanks! Me and Jimi are gonna grab you and tear you to itty bits and pieces!

Jimi: Okay. I'm fine now. Ray, Kid, listen up. We aren't partying with girls or playing with our band, we're here: now. We aren't looking into the future, or the past. We're living for NOW. And now, as I stand out here, I think of taking you, Kid, holding you up, and standing there as Ozzy jumps off, and nails you with his dropkick. Then, we're going to take you, Ray, and CRIPPLE you! I live for now. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, or today for that matter. All I know is what I want: victory over The Party Animals!

(scene ends with Jimi and Ozzy still standing near the fence, thinking and pondering.)


The scene opens to the arena several hours before Shockwave. The lights are dimed except the area around the ringside. The ring is surronded by the steal cage and The Party Animals stand in the ring.

Rocking Ray Rodgers-They say to wrestlings greatest the steal cage is home. Welcome to our house Heavy Metal Express. In a few short hours you are going to have to walk down that isle and face the us alone. Once that door closes and locks its just the two of you and the two of us. We are ready to end this once and for all. you stole a win from us and we beat you fairly. Tonight is the rubber match for the bragging rights and more importantly the step closer to a title shot. We have proven that we are the better team and tonight we are going to put any question that might be lingering to rest when we fulfill our promise and derail the Heavy Metal Express.

The Rock & Role Kid-The record books say that we are even up one win each. Well anyone who watche the whole tape of our first match and not just the highlight reel will agree that we had you beaten till little Nikie decided to get involved. Well tonight she wont be a factor. If by some fluke chance the cage does not keep her out of the match I have taken out some insurance. Nicki Rox if you try to get involved you will regret it.

Rocking Ray Rodgers-Two on two there are dam few teams in the business today that can match up with us. All we need is alevel playing field and we can beat just about anybody. Heavy Metal Express tonight we have that level playing field. Nobody gets in and nobody gets out till we conclude our business. The two of you say that you are tired of facing us and want to move on well so do we. We came here for one reason and only one reason. To prove that we are the best tag team in the business today. After tonight we are going after biger and better teams than you.

The Rock & Role Kid-Tribal Instinct you had better watch our match tonight because after we are done with the Heavy Metal Express we are coming after you and the #1 contenders slot. We will be the tag team champions even if we have to go through ever team here in the SSN/EWI to get a title shot.


(The camera fades in on the backstage area where Vadagar is walking down the halls towards MA's location. As he's walking Gottfried bumps into him and as he does Vadagar turns and pushes Gottfried against the wall.)

Gottfried: Watch it! Don't think I won't have you thrown out of here!

(Vadagar glares at Gottfried as he continues on. The camera then cuts in on Angelus, Jessica, and Ruiner. The three are in an undeterminable location in the Shockwave Arena. In the background, "Valentine's Day" by Marilyn Manson can be heard playing on a nearby stereo. Angelus is wearing black leather pants, black engineer boots, and a tight long sleeve black shirt. Jessica's wearing brown leather pants, black silk button up shirt, and black boots. Ruiner's wearing green nylon cargos, a fishnet shirt, and he has hose on both arms. Angelus and Ruiner are both holding their belts as the camera focuses in on Angelus.)

Angelus: Well, the time is now. Tonight will be MA's first title defense against a team called Insane Pain. Thing is, I have a feeling we're going to be fighting more than just one team. I have this sneaking suspicion that SSN will try to make their presence felt. So, I will be fair and warn them now, if any SSN members get involved, there will be hell to pay. I will guarantee it. Now, Insane Pain, you have the honor of not only taking on MA, but also getting a shot at our tag titles. An honor that you have not yet earned, but so be it. Tonight, when you step in that ring, you're stepping onto our battlefield. To us this is war and in war, anything goes. We will do all it takes to hold on to our precious belts!

(Camera turns to Ruiner.)

Ruiner: You two guys are extremely lucky. I don't have a clue who the hell you are and you get a match with us. You're not even worth the time it takes to cut this promo. You see, we've taken on and defeated teams three times better than you two unknowns. We were hoping that our first title defense would be a match we could be proud of but that's obviously not going to be the case. It's obvious that Gottfried doesn't think highly of us like we don't think highly of you. Thing is, we've proven ourselves and our worth. You two come out of nowhere and get an automatic title shot. You guys will soon go right back into the shadows you walked out of after Angelus and myself quickly dispose of you two and show Gottfried that if we're going to be defending the SSN titles, it should be against a team that can keep up with us. Not two little shi....

(Camera cuts back to Angelus who interrupts)

Angelus: ...But, as I said in an earlier interview we're the kind of champs who take on any and everyone. We don't only give the "top teams" shots, we believe in equal chances and that's what you two will get. You'll get the equal chance at defeat just like any other team out there. Now, obviously you two are big guys and that's your only strength. You have the wrestling talent of a rock, yet you can hold your own because of your size. That's the only thing you've got going for you. Ruiner and I on the otherhand have experience, drive, and talent on our side.

(Camera turns back to Ruiner.)

Ruiner: Exactly. We have everything that being tag champs requires. Which is exactly why we are where we are, and also why you're at the bottom where you are. Right now you're just two small wannabes looking up at the force that is the Mechanical Animals. We are the driving force behind the tag division. Before us, when TI had the titles, the division was a joke. We are now here to breathe new life into that which was once dead and we plan on accomplishing that. So, don't get your hopes up boys. You will not be leaving with these belts. Unless the bastards of SSN do something to make you leave with them. And if that happens, well....everyone knows MA always get their revenge.

(Camera once again spins back to Angelus.)

Angelus: In closing we wish you two morons all the luck in the world, you'll need it. One last thing for SSN. As I said before, we know you are planning something. Just know we'll be prepared for anything you throw at us. We may even deflect it back!

(Suddenly Vadagar enters.)

Vadagar: We're ready.

Angelus: Okay. On our way.

(Angelus turns back to the camera.)

Angelus: See you in the ring, boys!

(MA exits the area they were in as the camera fades.)


(Scene opens on The Darkness sitting on a bench in his locker room. It's a pretty close shot and all you can see is The Darkness. He finishes lacing up a boot and sits up, puts his elbows on his knees and starts talking. He doesn;t have his usual tone. There's no playful tone. This is business, and that is reflected by his tone.)

Darkness: Well, it seems that I got what I wanted. A match with the second ranked cruiserweight here in the EWI. A match that will propel me to that illustrious status. A match that is only a prelude to my number one contendership and eventual first title reign as EWI Cruiserweight Champion. A belt that I was cheated out of a long time ago, but that won't happen again. This time I'm not playing. This time, it's all business, and nothing will get in my way. Before, I worried about people jumping me. Attacking from behind. Well, no more. Not with the new friends I've got. So, Toshrio, EWI, SSN, whoever you are, get ready. First this title, and then eventually, the world championship. No games. Get ready for a breakout year for the true breakout superstar in the EWI. Me, The Darkness. Because, as many have felt before, and as you will feel tonight Toshrio...

Once you see The Darkness,

and you feel The Nightfall,

you won't live to see the day break!

(Darkness gets up and walks out. The camera stays on for about 20 seconds of silence before fading out.)


(Fade in on Tommy Payne and Justin Sane in the locker room preparing for their upcoming championship match.}

Cameraman: Would you like to shay a few things about your upcoming match for the EWI Titles?

Tommy: We thought you'd never ask. So, finally EWI decided to com to St. Louis, my hometown. All I have to say is it's about damn time!!! My partner and I have been working our asses off to get a title shot, and finally, after nearly a year, we get it. We have beaten some of the best tag teams in the EWI. And now, we have gotten our title shot and we are very excited about it.

Justin: That's right Tommy. The powers upstairs have finally realized that the biggest tag team in the EWI deserves a title shot. And how can you deny us a title shot. After decisive victories over the Lost Souls and Simply Stunning, we deserve a shot at the coveted titles. For this, we thank Mr. Zieba.

Tommy: And don't think we are going to be some one hit wonders and get our title shot and blow it. We will prevail and claim our titles. This starts the reign of the Calab-O. We will soon own all of the belts in EWI.

Justin: The only question is, who will own which ones? It doesn't matter! All that matters is that all of the belts in the EWI around the rightful owners. The St. Louis Calab-O. So, Mechanical Animals, be prepared for the match of your careers, you will need to bring your A Game tonight. You will be facing the biggest team the EWI has to offer, and arguably the best. We will walk out of St. Louis with the EWI Tag Team Championship. Now get the hell out of here, we got nothing more to say to you.

(Fade to Black)


(Vicky Mccave pushes into the SSN Locker room. Eddy Love is laid back in a recliner with thinly sliced cucumbers over both of his eyes.There is a young lady blow drying his hair, another lacing up the boots that have already been placed on his feet, and two more on each side taping his wrist and fingers.)

VM: Eddy, um Mr Love I was hoping I could get a few words before your match.

(Love never moves as the ladies continue working around him, each of them shoot Vicky a concerned look as she has interupted Love’s pre-match preperation.)

EL: Hell no, I have told you people not to bother trying to get an in locker room interview when I have a match. You send the request to Saul and when I’m prepared I’ll call you back to the press area.

(Eddy finally begins to stir. Putting off the bevy of babes who work on his preperations. As he speaks he begins to stir and finally pulls the covers off his eyes to discover Mccave.)

....... Vicky????*Vicky Mccave*..... well why didn’t you say so? I thought you didn’t do Eddy Love interviews. Sure you know I’ve always got time for you, I’m a *big* fan you know.

VM: I never said I didn’t “do Eddy Love interviews”, I simply asked that my work with you be cut back while you were doing the little stalking routine that suddenly stopped once Aho lost the Extreme World Title.

EL: Missing my company a bit, huh Vicky? Well I’m really a busy man but if *pretending* to be stalked increases your self worth, I could probably get 187 to stop by a couple of times a week..... you know, just for kicks.

(Eddy now gets to his feet.The boot and wrist girls have completed thier duties, the other lady follows Eddy Love around spraying hair spray on Eddy continuously.)

VM: I don’t think that’s a requirement Eddy. I can’t say I’ve missed an SSN presence since you quit sending flowers. I’d like to bring in the camera crew to geta few words on your match, if that’s OK?

EL: Sure, anything for a big fan like you, Vicky.

(As the crew comes in, Love shoos away the girls and calls in Tania. Love pulls on a whiteT-shirt that reads “I Break It, You Bought It” and sits in the chair as Tania positions herself behind Love messaging his shoulders as he talks. Vicky rolls the camera while holding the microphone and begins to speak, but the minute the camera comes on Love snatches the Mic from her hands and cuts her off before she says a word, leaving her standing next to the seated Love looking awkwardly out of place.)

LOVE: Just when you figure the wrestling world has come around to embrace the rebirth of professional wrestling as a skilled sport of fundamentals and technique, that last seed Eric Zima planted has grown into a pesty little weed that will try and choke out the beautiful flower that is the weekly SSN technical wrestling extravaganza .... That weed, the so called King of the Ring, Jim and Di will not only be defeated tonight, but will.....

(Love is interrupted first by Vicky trying to say something which is stopped by a look from Love, then by Tania whispering in his ear.)

LOVE: I knew that.... who did you say?

TANIA: Bass

LOVE: Who???

(Tania gives a perplexed look but doesn’t respond. Love gathers himself and again addresses the camera.)

LOVE: So as I was saying while I continue down the road to this match with Schizo Skip, many obstacles are placed in my way. At Genesis Eddy Love once again overcame the odds, fighting fair and square, refusing to take any short cut that may present it’s self to Fair and Square Eddy Love.... I not only defended my Technical World Title, I not only gave Rob Sampson a wrestling lesson that he obviously skipped along the way, but I also overcame the stacked deck of not only Dan Ryans, but of interference from the entire inner circle to put the Federation belt back where it belonged... around my waiste and to take the name Mr. Main Event for my very own.. It really does my heart good to know that I always win the right way, without help from my SSN brothers, while Ash and Ryans reveal to the world that Sampson’s claims of an interference free match were just another of his dirty tricks to try and throwthe King from his throne. I expect tricks like that from cheaters like Sampson, but what really yanks my chain is after the inner circle fails to unseat Eddy Love.... Sampson blames Ash who is really the only decent wrestler in the inner circle or the whole damn NthWA for that matter. Sampson is a coward and a hack, and the minute I took his nickname, people began disrespecting me. That’s right, suddenly valets had nerve enough to ask for autographs, children asked if they could snap my picture...it was one insult right after the other and so I want it known that I admit I made a mistake, I don’t want a name that has been associated with a nobody like Sampson and therefore I give him back the silly little nickname that I took from him in the middle of the ring and from this day forward Eddy Love will always be known as, but never answer to “Mr. Main Event”.

As for the rest of the former EWI on SSN, it’s a virtual who’s who of nobodies and hangers ons.My ex Melissa is litterally trying to get every homeless man on the street to join her ranks...... Manifest Destiny has brought the term “lockerroom theft” back to the forefront of the entire roster’s mind ....... Angelus and Ruiner score one lucky pinfall over a team that is far their superior and go on profanity laced tirades that insult the inteligence of your average embecile........ Evan Aho challenges the entire roster on a SSN comes last basis........ and Zero does something almost no one in wrestling has done by proving Eddy Love wrong.

TANIA: Wrong???

EL: Yes dear, When I said that all from the South was good, I obviously wasn’t counting on the poster child for in-breeding to step to the forefront.

So they all try and develop a niche in the background of the greatest group of athletes ever assembled, The SSN “A” team and they all embarrass not only themselves and therr families but they embarrass the very sport that I have made a fixture inthe homes of main stream America.

Take my opponenttonight Tony Parrish....

TANIA: It’s Bass tonight, Boss, not Parrish

EL: Bass, Parrish, Aho .... who can honestly tell them apart.

So Shivers ( Tania and Mccave in unison: “BASS”), tonight you get to try and measure yourselfagainst the man every promoter in the sport points to as an example of a professional, the man every mother points to as who their child should grow up to be like and the man every clergyman uses to show his flock that they can live as a paradigm of morality to their fellow man.

I have returned the BTR slash MWC slash EWI all on SSN, back to it’s lofty heights. Eddy Love has removed the embarrassment that was inficted on the fans when they had to referto men like Hellfighter, Aho, and Flair as champ. All is right in the world and in one hour, all these people get what they came for to watch Eddy Love eat the EWI flavor of the day for dinner. So call me Eddy the angler, and let it be known (pauses) Tonight I’m gonna catch me a really large mouthed Bass.

{Right at that moment Bass suddenly comes charging throught the door and attacks Love behind hitting him with a steel chair several times. With Love on the ground obviously out Bass shoots a look towards Tania and McCave, but then directs his attention towards Love again.

Bass- Poor Ed seems like your year has started off pretty bad. You get your ass kicked at Genisis be Sampson, then the Manifest Destiny. And you get so tied up in that you forget about me, so I had to remind you of just who the hell I am. I'm the Messiah of the EWI! Your ass is mine at Shockwave, the only thing I want is that damn belt around that tiny little waist of yours and I'll do anything to get it. But I think you already know that. So understand that you and your little SSN buddies have had enough fun. Shockwave in my home town, I would say I'd let you walk out that ring but then my fans would be disappointed.

Bass stands in front of the door laughing and suddenly from behind Deezee comes in striking Bass with a kendo stick and starts hitting him over and over until Bass fights his way to his feet. Deezee draws back and does a baseball like swing knocking Bass out onto the floor.

Deezee- If you walk, run, breath, piss in your own damn toilet be sure to look over your shoulder, cause I just might be there

Deezee disappears out the door throwing the Kendo Stick on Bass's chest.


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