(Coming back from the break Jamie and Tabu are in the ring, and their auntarages on the outside, the bell sounds.)
BS:And we are underway
MP:Hey aren't you supposed to say "Gentlemen START YOUR ENGINES" first?
BS:Your hopeless Mike......both men lock up, Tabu with a reverce elbow tie, Jamie excucutes a standing switch and brings him into a standing arm bar, as Tabu does a few flips to reverse the hold and flips Jamie to the mat, and quickly follows with a quick leg drop, now Tabu ALREADY accending the turnbuckle, as Jamie gathers himself, Tabu goes for the Moonsault.......
MP:Nobody home baby yeah!
BS:Baker now picking up Tabu and putting him in a vertical suplex and holding him up there, letting him think about it for a moment, waiting for all the blood to rush to the head before dropping him. Tabu's head looks likes cherry read from all the blood.
MP:Well then that would make Baker a Cherry Poppin Daddy, YEAH BABY!
BS:Not funny Mike not funny.
MP:Sorry ole chap, but look Paul E Dan....
BS:NO!
MP:Oh right, Sam E. Dastardly is setting up a bridged table between the ring and guard rail, which looks awfully familiar from somehwere, but oh well....
BS:Baker now lifts up Tabu and throw him against the ropes BUT NO, Tabu reverses and gives Baker a drop toe hold, and Tabu quickly moves over to the back of Baker.
MP:It's the Cobra Clut..........I mean reverse chin lock.
BS:Now Tabu relasing the hold and dragging Baker over to the bridge table and picks him up and gives him a right hand sending him thorugh the rops on to the table, now 187 just threw Tabu a chair, and he's setting it up close to the ring rops as he bouces off the ropes, bouces off the chair stands on the ring ropes for a moment before excucting a guilitine leg drop on the table with NOBODY there.
MP:Maybe he should look before he leaps next time.
BS:Good idea Mike, Baker is now up and picks up Tabu, and irish whips him, sending him OVER the guard rail into the fans.
MP:Get outta there Tabu, they'll rob ya blind!
BS:Mike.......
MP:What????
BS:Shhhhhaaaaaddddddup!
MP:Ohhh G.I. you suwpwised I spea yow wanguage?
BS:Alright Mike, leave the Asian people alone, we don't need a freakin lawsuit on our hands!
MP:You number one G.I.
BS:Mike! (waves hands accidentally knockingover a TV monitor.) damn it Mike look what you made me do!
MP:Oh you number ten G.I. you number ten...
BS:Mike, that's enough outta you, while you made me knock over tha monitor, Tabu jumped up onto the guard rail and did a flying cross body on Baker, now Tabu throwing Baker back into the ring, throwing him into the turnbuckle and giving him a series of stomps to the gut sending him to the bottom turnbuckle, Dastardly ive Tabu another chair and Tabu places it on the face of Baker, as Tabu backs up to the other end of the ring and gets a running start before drop kicking the chair into the face of Baker, now Tabu pulling Baker out of the turnbuckle.
MP:He's doing a split legged Moonsault, that's Rob Van.......
BS:MIKE!
MP:Opps sorry about that, but Tabu is going for the pin 1.....2.........NO, kickout at the last instant!
BS: Tabu accending the turnbuckle once again this time he does a Leg drop from the top rope, but AGAIN nobody home, Baker regaining his sences again, picks up Tabu and gives him a belly to belly suplex, this time it's Baker who goes up top, and Tabu's begins to get up but is met with the LD sending him to the ground, Baker quick to capitalize picks up Tabu and deleivers the Californication!
MP:It's all over folks 1...... wait what the hell Baker had the match won and he released the pin.....
BS:Wait a second Baker looks up and see 187 all over Cristin Bel........OH MY GOD!
MP:187 just PIMP SLAPPED Cristin Bel, sending her to the ground with AUTHORITY!
BS:An insenced Baker just dove threw the rops onto 187 adn he is whailing on him good, but wait a second, Tabu is back up and .......Tabu just climbed the top rope and did a dive from it taking out Baker.
MP:He's suicidal, homicidal, genoci.......wait that sounds awfully familiar..........
BS:Whatever, Mike Tabu throws Baker back into the ring, and....... Tabu has a chair given to him from Sam, and he's going up top, and he does the DOA!
MP:It's over baby, 1.....2......3, mama tuck me in I'm ready to go night night.
BS: Chalk up another victory for Tabu who is really making an impression here in EWI.
MP: He probably thinks it's EC---
BS: Wait...I'm getting word....NOT AGAIN!!
(Cut To the backs stage area, where Bret Kross is sitting in the back chatting with some people, as all of a sudden Alan Tasker COBASHES Kross with a chair, sending him to the ground with a thud.)
BS:IT'S COMMANDO IT'S COMMANDO IT'S COMMANDO! What the hell is he doing here, I thought the officials got to him or SOEMTHING!
MP:Whoa, slow down Bret, take a chill pill man, it's all groovey baby.
BS:Now Commando giving Bret repeated kicks to the gut, dear god thats got to be some internal injuries right there folks.
MP:Your getting TOO technical for me Bret, stop it!
BS:Commando is leaving....where's he going?
MP:THERE he is, with a cart full of....well what the hell is in that cart?
BS:I don't know but he just slammed it into Kross so I think we'll find out here in a second. Ok theres scale....
MP:Scale???? The Superheavywieghts are here? Where Bret where?
BS:Don't make me slap you Mike!
MP:I'll give you a JUDO chop......
BS:Ne...nev....just nevermind Mike, Commando just broke that scale over Kross which has busted him wide open. Commando now pulling out a frying pan.
MP:I didn't know Alan was a Chef?
BS:(Sarcastically) Me neither Mike, me neither.........Commando just cobashed Kross with the frying and and throws it to the side, and now he's going back into his cart of goodies, what's he gonna pull out now?
MP:A Sweediesh penis enlarger?
BS:You mean a MIKE POWERS Sweediesh Penis enlarger!
MP:I swear its not mine!
BS:(Sarcastically puts pinky next to mouth) Riiiight..............Well the answer to our question has been answered, Commando has pulled out a computer monitor, and OH MY GOD, Commando just broke that monitor over Kross's head.
MP:NOW THAT'S INTERACTIVE!
BS:Why must you copy the material of others Mike?
MP:Who said that?
BS:Te.....nevermind who said it, but Tasker doesn't look finished yeah he just pulled out a Louisville Slugger...
MP:A what?
BS:A FREAKIN BASEBALL BAT! And Tasker just hit a home run with it on the computer monitor, which just HAPPENED to be on Bret's head, now Tasker seems to be saying something to Kross, that our camera's are picking up.
Tasker:Bret you son of *****, you know I can only take so much **** talking, lame ass parodies, and punk attacks before I just SNAP, and you Bret are a major cause of this. You little butt buddy Martin is lucky you kicked his ass before I did, becuse I wouldn't have stoped short like he did, now you probably can't hear a word I'm saying cause your knocked the **** out, but you'll probably see a replay in your hospital bed. You owe your whole career to me, you would be nothing if not for me, you tired to ride my coat tails to stardom, well I will only tolerate some talentless curtain tugger for so long, so let this be a lesson to you Bret, oh yeah I got a surprise for you.
Tasker:He's all yours......
(Two S/M Asian prostitutes appear and pick Bret Kross up, and take him into a room and close the door and you can hear it lock.....)
BS: That Son-of-a-Bitch! That's two people tonight!
MP: He's got his list and he's checking it twice....
BS: Oh don't you start! We'll be back with the Tag Team title match NEXT!!
BS: Welcome back folks. Druing the break we have tried to get a report on the status of Bret Kross and....
MP: Do you really want a update on Kross considering what he went into the room with?
BS: You do have a valid point, but still we have to find out.
MP: I just hope he can protect his assets.
BS: Oh Lord. Let's go to ringside for this Tag Team Title match!
As Maximum Overdrive walked to the ring Goth and AC looked out towards them with their wolves by their side. Greene and Ross quickly called for the ref to remove the wolves out of the ring and the ref instructed The Gothic Alchemy to do so.
MP: Oh yes please get those smelly wolves away from the ring.
BS: I could have them bring'em over here.
MP: Oh you better not. These are my Sunday clothes.
BS: You go to church?
MP: Oh no baby I'm a missionary man YEAH!
BS: Why.....
Once the wolves were put at bay the bell rang and the match began. Ross was first to start off for Maximum Overdrive as Goth was the first to start off for his. As they circled the ring trying to get a feel for eachother they finally came together in the center of the ring for a elbow and collar tie up with Ross getting the first move of the night by catching Goth in a arm drag which tossed him back towards his corner. They met again in the center of the ring and again was the same result. Ross tried for it a third time, but instead it was Goth pushing Ross off and towards the ropes. On the way back Ross was caught with a shoulder block and he went down hard to the mat. As Ross went down it was then Goth who headed towards the ropes. On the way back he leaped over Ross who was still on the ground and come off the opposite side. On the way back Ross did a leapfrog over Goth who went into the ropes again. On the way back Ross tried for a clothesline, but Goth ducked and stopped in his tracks behind Ross who then hit with a German suplex crushing Ross into the canvas.
BS: My God what a shot! Totally catching Ross off-guard with that move you know he has to be hurt!
MP: You know if that was Simply Stunning in the ring they would have got out of that and hit the other team instead with their own move.
BS: You are just the Simply Stunning mark aren't you?
MP: It's Mike you know.
BS: (laughing) You're impossible.
MP: No I'm not I'm SHAGADELIC BABY YEAH!!!
Ross quickly sits up and tags out to Greene as Goth walks over to AC and reaches for the tag. The two stalk eachother before they lock up as well and it's AC who gets the first shot with a hip toss on Greene. As Greene is getting back up he is hit with a running clothesline and then with a standing dropkick as he gets up again which knocks him out of the ring and down to the floor. As Maximum Overdrive are trying to get together The Gothic Alchemy is in the ring taking in the support of the fans that came to see them.
MP: Oh I think The Gothic Alchemy have come to fight tonight.
BS: You are right on that account. They have been wanting the Tag Team Straps for too long and they are not about to let this match slip away from them!
MP: Now you know if it was Simply Stunning......
BS: Then it would be a regular match instead of a Title match?
MP: Oh that's TOTALLY NOT FAIR!
BS: No, but it's true.
As the match continues Ross is being pushed into the ropes with a series of slaps and punches by Goth. As Ross is against the ropes Goth runs towards the opposite side and comes off trying for a running clothesline, but Ross surprises him and hits with a hurriciana which brings both teams down to the floor and it is Goth that takes the blunt of the fall.
BS: MY GOD! Can Goth get back up from that move!
MP: Totally baby! He hit that from inside of the ring to the outside of the ring. Oh behave!
As both wrestlers are trying to get back to their feet Greene jumps off the apron and begins to assault Goth which gets the attention of his partner AC to come and help out. As he is trying to make his way there he is cut off by the ref and pushed back towards his corner.
MP: Oh this is unfair. How can these two blokes do what they want, but poor AC has to go back.
BS: You wanna talk to them about it? They're right there you know. Go break it up!
MP: Oh I'll just stay here. Now if it was Simply Stunning......
BS: Then it wouldn't of happened I know the drill.
MP: Drill?
BS: Don't even start.
Meanwhile Greene and Ross double team Goth with a series of moves. As Greene continues to beat down on Goth, Ross goes for a steel chair and the ref begins his count from inside of the ring. This takes his eyes off of AC who has made his way towards the opposite side of the ring and sneaks up on a chair carrying Ross. As Ross is about to crack Goth on the side of the head the chair is taken away by AC. Ross turns around to see what happened, but is met with a boot into the midsection and a chair across the back by AC.
BS: And AC finally gets there to save his partner from a vicious double teaming!
MP: Well it's about time. It's amazing what you have to do to get the blind side of the ref in the EWI!
BS: True. We could use some better ref's don't you think?
MP: Espeically in Simp......
BS: Quiet.
At the same time Goth finally gains the upper advantage on Greene when Greene tried to push Goth into the ring post, but it was Greene who met with it shoulder first as Goth pushed him into it. As the ref gets out of the ring to try and break up AC and Ross, Goth tosses Greene back in and continues to beat on him until he is able to catch him in The Alchamaic Driver (Tombstone Piledriver) and goes for the pin.
MP: He's got him pinned baby! WE'VE GOT NEW CHAMPIONS!!!
BS: Oh no we don't! The ref is still on the outside dealing with AC and Ross!
MP: Oh this is so unfair! We need more officials in these type of matches!
BS: Hey be happy it's a regular match.
MP: This is a regular match? You must be joking!
On the outside it's Ross who has finally gained the advantage on AC and also tries to keep the ref on the outside, but eventually loose track of the ref as he goes inside and goes for the three count. Before the ref can slap the canvas for the third time Ross pulls out the ref by his feet to the outside and tries to argue with him, but is caught from behind by a revived AC which knocks Ross down to the floor again.
MP: DAMMIT HE ALMOST HAD IT!!!
BS: Almost, but not close enough as Ross pulled out the ref, but was met from behind by AC who pounded him to the ground.
MP: What? Did you say....
BS: Wait a second. That didn't sound right.
MP: Oh no it didn't. Yuck! A pounding from behind.
AC quickly slides into the ring and gets Greene onto his shoulders. At the same time Goth goes to the top rope and connects on Greene with a top rope hurriciana. While this is going on Ross has finally got it together and reaches for the steel chair again and heads towards the ring apron.
BS: They're gonna go for The Gothic Device! This could very well get them the win!
MP: Oh wait a mintue. Ross has got a chair!
After Goth connects, AC heads towards the ropes so he can preform his top rope moonsault and pinning move, but instead is met by a chair swinging Ross which knocks AC out and down on the canvas. Upon seeing this Goth comes off the ropes and hits Ross with a spear which takes them both off the canvas and out onto the Thai announcer's table.
BS: SPEAR SPEAR!!! Goth just speared Ross right off the ring apron and right into the Thai announcer's table!
MP: What? No Spanish table?
BS: We are in Thailand after all.
MP: Still...no Spanish table?
During that time Greene somehow managed to cover an unsuspecting AC for the pin and the victory.
BS: They have done it again! Maximum Overdrive are your winners!
MP: But look at the carnage in and out of the ring. Oh this was a match, but if....
BS: Yeah yeah if it was Simply Stunning. We know Mike, but they're not here are they?
MP: Well..still.
BS: Folks we'll be right back, but once we return we've got San An's Best going against The Showstoppers and that is NEXT!!!
BS: Welcome back folks. Well just to update you on several events Alan Tasker, otherwise known as Commando, has attacked both Bret Kross and Bryan Blair this evening.
MP: Oh and don't forget Jeffery Roberts who is apart of that NthWA talent trade plan. He has attacked Wayne Roberts and, if I'm not mistaken, Pri$m as well.
BS: Well imagine the irony as Commando's former group Manifest Destiny will be heading into the ring to take on The Showstoppers from the NthWA.
MP: Even though they are the NthWA Tag Champions I really don't think they can handle the Hardcore theme that K-9 and Lone Wulf carry with them.
BS: Well we're about to find out as The Showstoppers meet San An's Best!
As the match started out it was San An's Best who was receding the support of the fans due to their willing to create extreme happenings in the ring.
BS: A surprising cheer for San An's Best here in Thailand wouldn't you say?
MP: Are you kidding? They love their hardcore here in Bangkok!
As the match started out it was Lone Wulf going at it for his team and Taylor for his. Taylor tried to attack and attack quick on the seven foot two and 420 pound monster with a series of of punches and chops, but nothing was affecting the big man from San An. In a desperation move Styles got inside of the ring and got the ref to come towards him as Taylor went for a kick into the lower region of Lone Wulf which finally got his attention. Taylor then went into the ropes and came off trying for a swinging neck breaker, but it was Lone Wulf that caught Taylor in the midsection and connected with a nasty sounding spinebuster.
BS: And Lone Wulf standing TALL!!!
MP: You can only guess that there is a Sherrif Killa in someone's future!
Lone Wulf then points towards his corner and looks to the crowd which gives him their acceptance and he tags out to K-9. K-9 takes the tag and quickly runs into the ring and catches a unsuspecting Taylor with a belly to back suplex. K-9 then picks up Taylor again and unleashes a flurry of snap suplexes until Taylor cannot move. Upon seeing this K-9 runs into the ropes, jumps to the top rope, and hits with a moonsalt and goes for the pin. The ref gets a two count before Styles comes in and breaks up the hold.
BS: And a desperation move by Styles as San An's Best almost picked up the quick win here.
MP: I didn't think that K-9 and Lone Wulf could manhandle The Showstoppers.
BS: It just goes to show you that EVEN IF you are champs of another federation that don't make you champs of THIS federation.
MP: Very true.
K-9 first goes after him, but instead continues his attack on Taylor. He hooks Taylor again and hits with a fisherman's suplex and tries for another pin attempt, but again only gets a two count. K-9, frustrated, releases the hold and runs towards one of the ring corners and goes to the top rope. As he tries to hit with a moonsalt it's Taylor that moves out of the way and K-9 connects with only canvas. As Taylor goes to tag in Styles the camera catches K-9 with a smile on his face.
BS: Nothing but canvas from The Innovator of Insanity!
MP: Look at his face. Do you think he enjoyed it?
BS: Wanna go inside and ask him yourself?
MP: Hmmm...I'll stay here and watch. I like to watch.
BS: So that would make you a Peeping Powers?
MP: Of cor---HEY!!!
Once Styles is in he picks up K-9 and pushes him towards San An's corner screaming that Lone Wulf get tagged in. Lone Wulf, surprised, takes the tag from K-9 and comes in over the top rope ready for battle.
BS: He's calling Lone Wulf out! Can you beleive it?
MP: Now I know The Showstoppers are not smart if they want that.
BS: Well....I think it's just Styles.
Styles, the slightly smaller of The Showstoppers, goes to toss Lone Wulf into the ropes, but instead Lone Wulf reverses it and pushes Styles into the ropes instead. Off the ropes Styles ducks a clothesline and heads towards the opposite side of the ropes. Meantime Taylor has climbed to the top rope in his corner. Coming off the ropes Styles tries a cross body block, but is caught by Lone Wulf who is about to hit with a powerslam, but is instead met with a drop kick to the back of the head by Taylor.
MP: Oh they had a plan!!! Styles set the big man up to perfection!
BS: And the big man is dazed right now!
Lone Wulf, trying to brush off the effects, tries to walk it off, but is met with a standing drop kick from Styles. Dazed, Lone Wulf is now grabbed by Taylor and Styles and is tossed into the ropes. Coming off the ropes The Showstoppers try for a double clothesline, but are met with a strongarm clothesline from Lone Wulf instead.
BS: DEAR GOD did you hear that thud?
MP: What was once a great plan now lays in ruins.
BS: Wow very good!
MP: It should be. The British taught you Americans everything you know. Well at least the good things. Crime you picked up all on your own.
BS: You're just milking this for all you can aren't you?
MP: Yes. However did you guess?
BS: Luck. Who knows.
This brings K-9 into the battle and he quickly goes after Styles. As K-9 backs Styles into one corner Lone Wulf does the same with Taylor and they commence to chop and punch away on the current NthWA Team Champions. After a moment San An's Best look towards eachother and sling out The Showstoppers, but it's reversed and it's the SaB's that have the meeting of the minds in the center of the ring. Gaining their composure The Showstoppers work quick and deliver another dropkick to the backs of both K-9 and Lone Wulf so that they clash again in the center of the ring.
BS: And The Showstoppers are back in control as San An's Best are trying to get it toegether!
MP: Well they better get it together quick cause here comes trouble!
Suddenly "Mr. Main Event" Rob Sampson walks down to the ring, followed a few moments later by Jeffrey Roberts. Sampson and Roberts walk to opposite sides of the ring and corner Nemesis. As Nemesis tries to attack Roberts, Sampson picks up a chair and wacks him from behind knocking down the Manifest Destiny member.
BS: NEMESIS IS DOWN! This has to be a set up!
MP: What was your first clue?
Taylor and Styles catch sight of the two and seem to signal to them as they each whip an opponent into opposite sides of the ropes. As each man hits the ropes, Roberts and Sampson, both with chairs, unload on them knocking them cold. The referee starts to go for the bell but Styles pushes him to the mat. Roberts comes in the ring and nails the referee with his chair and then deposits him over the ropes. All four men stomp away at San An's Best until the dressing room clears and gets the men out of the ring finally.
BS: And other EWI wrestlers have come to the aid of Manifest Destiny as the NthWA group is finally pushed out of the ring and heading towards the backstage area! This stinks!
MP: Oh wait Mr. Roberts has a microphone.
BS: Oh this should be good.
[Roberts takes the mic and makes a slitting motion across his throat to cut the music]
Roberts: Look, I just want to say a couple things now that San An's best and the EWI's finest from the referee circuit lay prostate in the ring up there. So before I go, hear this. First of all, let me say a little something about the former tag team champions up there. And might I add that upon finding out that small fact I practically broke a rib in laughter. San An's Best? Based on the drivel that flows from that fat whole in your head on a regular basis, I've heard more intelligent mumblings coming from whores working the Riverwalk. So that brings me to only one conclusion. Either you are in fact not San An's Best or you are direct descendants of the aforementioned working girls down in San Antone. Now you can come onto EWI TV and turn your little fat ass around while cutting a promo and be pissed and in 'discust' all you want. But The men you see out here right now have come in here to let you know one thing and one thing only. Where we're from is the bigtime. Mr. big boy there is about as threatening to me as a grilled cheese sandwich....and as for you little man....I've had, to paraphrase fat bastard....bigger chunks of corn in my crap. K-9, you may think you're crazy as hell, insane, or whatever else. But you're looking at the man who took insanity to an entirely new level. I'll look you straight in the eye and shake your hand while plotting to send you flying through a plate glass window. Innovator of Insanity? I think of you more as the Innovator of Idiocy. You fought for this company, put your bodies on the line for this company, for Locke Enterprises. That was your mistake. I fight for me and me only. The men I stand with and I all fight for ourselves. Ours is a business arrangement of mutual benefits. And before you start throwing out accomplishments and pedigrees let me run down a few of my own. The Showstoppers....current NthWA World Tag Team Champion. Myself, former NthWA Cruiserweight champion and the man who defeated Bryan Blair. YOUR former World Champion I might add. My beating him was the obvious turning point that lead him vulnerable for the coup de gras that finished his less than sparkling career. And the one and only show, the Main Event himself and former 4 time World Heavyweight champion, Rob Sampson. Match that. And next time you drag your sorry ass out of the gorilla cage at the San Antonio zoo after one of your epic dung slinging competitions, understand this and understand this well. You've stepped your ass into a whole new world. A world you don't have the tools, the intelligence, or the BALLS to walk out of alive. So if you plan on having a career in this sport, you sit there and shake out the cobwebs, go backstage and think......'hmm, I guess I'll stay out of their way' because boys, when it comes to the big time...when the lights are bright and it's time to drive the crowd into a frenzy, break some bones and go home with the gold, Mr. Main Event, myself and The Showstoppers are gonna be all the EWI ever needs. San An's Best....meet....the NthWA's best.....
BS: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? I don't know what's worse! Commando doing sneak attacks or THIS!
MP: Well believe it cause The NthWA Invasion is here apparently!
BS: And look at MD in the ring. They're pushing everyone away and heading towards the back after the NthWA group! Folks we'll be back!