{The following interview, has been paid for, by the promoter of violence.}
{As the screen comes out of black, 'Take A Look Around' - Limp Bizkit can be heard playing overhead as ... former EWI Owner Erik Zieba appears on the screen.}
EZ: Hello kids. Surprised to see me? Well, believe me when I say I'm surprised to actually be back on an EWI televised event, but stranger things have obviously happened.
Right about now I'm expecting that Gottfried must be tossing kittens up against the wall cause I know he must be PISSED knowing I'm back on TV,. but he fails to realize just how damn smart I am. Then again he didn't even know how RICH I was.
Gottfried, ya little TRICK, didn't you know I had the cash to flow around? Remember how the EWI used to be when the SSN was interested on putting it on their network? We made MILLIONS compared to the thousands you're making now. So what could I possibility do with all this cash. OH WAIT I KNOW! How about I go to your bosses and purchase some television time during an EWI event. Ya hate me yet? Well, I got something better for you to get pissed off about.
Seems that you agreed to a verbal contract with someone who can't make a deal like that. Seems your passion with destroying me got the best of you when you agreed to Gemini's little proposal. Now, as much as I enjoy the fact that Gemini wants me back, you know you can't make a deal like that without clearing it with your bosses Gottfried. That's why, when I talked to them, the wanted me to pass a little message to you.
The little wager you had ... the won where if Gemini wins I take back over or if Love wins then Gemini is terminated ... is null and void.
Now I know it makes you happy knowing I won't be back, but I know you must be beside yourself knowing you can't get rid of Gemini.
Gemini! Be beside yourself! DAMN I MADE A FUNNY!
Anyway Marky Mark, you can rest your little soft ass ... and yes Saul E. was spreading rumors about you among other things ... and relax for now, but keep this in mind.
At Black Ice I will scare the HELL out of you!
Enjoy the rest of the show. LONG LIVE THE EWI!!!
{The following interview, has been paid for, by the promoter of violence.}
GM: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!
BS: That was Erik Zieba! He's back on the EWI network!
GM: SSN NETWORK YOU IDIOT! How the Hell did he pull that off? And the match? Gemini out of the SSN! He screwed that wager up! WHAT THE HELL!
BS: Did you see the gleam in his eye? I've seen that gleem many times Gary and Mr. Zieba has a plan!
GM: That's what scares the Hell out of ME!
BS: Folks up next we have the Heavy Metal Express taking on the team of Insane Pain, Justin Sane and Tommy Payne, in tag team action. Any thoughts, Gary?
GM: Are you kidding me? Justin Sane and Tommy Payne are two of the biggest athletes in the business, Heavy Metal Express doesn’t stand a chance.
‘Hell’s Bells’ by AC/DC cues up as Ozzy McSarh and Jimi Sinister walk down the ramp, accompanied by Nicki Rox. The Heavy Metal Express rolls into the ring, exchanging words before ‘Judgment Night’ by Onyx and Biohazzard begins to play. Tommy Payne and Justin Sane sprint down the ramp, rolling into the ring as the bell rings, all four men trading punches.
BS: And it’s a free-for-all fist fight in the ring!
Justin Sane drills Ozzy in the face with a massive right hand before clamping a hand around his throat and chokeslamming him out of the ring to the concrete.
GM: Good lord! Ozzy may have already been eliminated from this match-up!
Sane and Payne blast Jimi with a double clothesline before Justin retires to his corner. Tommy lifts Sinister up and tries for a side walk slam but Jimi fights out of it at the last second and begins hammering Payne with rights and lefts before ducking around behind the massive St. Louis native and hits a bulldog, bouncing off the mat to his feet. Sinister moves to his corner by Ozzy is still recovering on the outside.
BS: Jimi needs to make a tag!
GM: I wouldn’t hold my breath if I was him.
As Jimi yells for Ozzy to get up, Payne blindsides him with a punch to the lower back followed by a vicious full nelson slam, Sinister’s body flailing off the mat. Tommy tags in Justin who lifts up the limp Jimi flipping him up for a piledriver but once again Jimi fights out at the last second and reverses it into a frankensteiner.
GM: I don’t believe it!
BS: Jimi Sinister has gotten his second wind!
GM: No, that’s not what I was talking about! Ozzy McSarh is BACK UP!
Ozzy has managed to get into his corner and reaches out for a tag. Jimi tags him in and Ozzy ducks into the ring, laying the boots heavily to the fallen Sane. Ozzy pulls Justin up before rolling him into a schoolboy. The ref drops to the mat: 1...2...Sane kicks out so forcefully that Ozzy flies through the ropes.
GM: Wow. This just isn’t Ozzy’s night.
McSarh grabs the bottom rope, pulling himself back into the ring as Justin Sane simply shakes his head to himself. Ozzy rolls into the ring, still looking disoriented, as Justin Sane charges forward with a huge clothesline, but Ozzy ducks and catches Sane with a reverse DDT! Ozzy tags in Jimi and Sinister somehow manages to get the giant Sane into a wobbly suplex position as Ozzy leaps off the top rope with a dropkick.
BS: That’s the Headliner!
Jimi drops to the mat, covering Sane. The ref counts: 1..2..3.
BS: The Heavy Metal Express wins this match! And considering that Insane Pain have a Tag Team Title shot against ...
GM: Say it! You know you wanna say it! They have a match against the future tag team champions Triabl Instinct!
BS: Well they'll be facing someone, but after what The Heavy Metal Express did they have to be cosidered a serious threat for the title!
GM: After Triabl Instinct get the titles back nobody will be a threat.
BS: Well ... wait I'm being told ... SPEAKING OF THREATS GEMINI HAS ATTACKED AGAIN! THIS TIME COMMANDO!
GM: Oh get the camera back there cause I wanna see this!
{As the camera cuts to the back the figured dressed like Gemini is standing over a fallen Commando looking down at him. With the baseball bat in his hand he continues to rame it in the back of Commando as SSN security and Nemesis make their way to the back chasing away the man again.}
GM: Damn Gemini is two for two. Gotta respect that.
BS: Folks we've got to cut away, but when we return it's going to be Chris Lehew taking on the returning Tony Parrish!
GM: I swear if we see another Zieba segement I'm gonna vomit!
{As the camera cuts back from break it picks up Marcus Gottfried on the telephone yelling into it.}
MG: You've got to be kidding! How could you guys give Zieba TV time! I thought I ran this show! Don't give me that 'I'm just the representive' mess! I closed the deal on the EWI and I secured it for us so it should be MINE!
And did he convince you to can that match? DAMN I had Gemini right where I wanted him! WHAT? I can't do that? OH THAT'S BULLS(BLEEP)T AND YOU KNOW IT! HELLO? HELLO? (slams the phone) DAMN!
187: You okay boss?
MG: (looking up at him) Just ... get me ... a drink!
{The camera cuts back to the announcer's table where McFarland is obviouly upset.}
GM: DAMN ZIEBA! He's upseting the smartest man in the Wrestling business!
BS: If you ask me Zieba knows exactly what he's doing.
GM: That's why I didn't ask you!
BS: (laughing) I'm sure you'll get over it. Coming up next we've got Tony Parrish going against SSN member Chris Lehew? How about it?
GM: Newcomers Tony Parrish and Chris Lehew will lock horns in our next match-up, Brett, and there’s something I like about Lehew, can’t quite put my finger on it...
BS: Maybe the fact that he’s an SSN disciple?
GM: That’s probably it.
‘Stellar’ by Incubus begins to play as Tony Parrish walks down the rampway, his gaze firmly focused on the ring ahead of him. As ‘Greed’ by Godsmack cues up, the crowd leaps to its feet screaming boos and jeers to greet Chris Lehew as he emerges from backstage, smiling. He rolls into the ring and locks up with Tony Parrish as the bell rings.
GM: Things have been looking up for Lehew since he made the right choice and signed with the SSN.
BS: You mean sold out?
GM: If selling out is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.
BS: No one said you were.
Lehew procures a waistlock, slamming Parrish to the ground with a vicious side suplex, following up with a few boots to the face before Tony rolls to his feet, stunning Lehew with a chop to the chest before whipping him to the ropes and catching him on the rebound with a spinebuster. Lehew bounces to his feet, gripping his lower back. Parrish aims a side kick at Lehew’s face, but Chris catches his foot, swinging him down with a dragon screw leg whip. The camera focuses in on Lehew’s face, catching him snickering to himself while mouthing ‘Dragon Screw’. The laughter is short-lived however, as Lehew drops a leg across Parrish’s throat, sending Tony rolling across the ring in pain.
BS: Lehew needs to get serious in there if he wants any chance of winning.
GM: Hey, I think you need to shut your mouth, Sanders. This guy has more money in his pocket right now than you’ll ever see in your whole life.
Lehew lifts Parrish up for a vertical suplex, but Tony fights his way out of it, landing on his feet behind Lehew and taking him down with an inverted DDT, followed up by a side leg-lock. Lehew fights the hold but can’t seem to break it. Struggling against the pain, Lehew manages to grab the ropes, forcing Tony to break the hold.
BS: Parrish was THIS close to picking up the victory!
Lehew gets to his feet shaking out his leg, as Tony Parrish charges forward with a clothesline. Lehew reaches out just in time to grab Parrish by the waist and lift him up with a belly to belly over head suplex onto the ropes. Parrish slowly slides off, crumpling to the mat. Chris Lehew deftly leaps up onto the top turnbuckle, crouching like a tiger as Parrish slowly gets to his feet, Lehew taking a massive leap off the top, his baggy cargo pants flapping through the air as he connects with a diving hurricanrana.
BS: My god!
GM: See! What a move! SSN! SSN! SNN!
Lehew lifts Parrish up and whips him into the corner, and runs toward him, looking for a running knee lift, but Parrish slides out of the corner, and as Lehew crashes into the ring post, Parrish catches him with a russian leg sweep. He pulls Chris Lehew up and lifts him high into the air, slamming him into the mat with a bridged powerbomb!
BS: The Parrish Bomb! Tony’s got him!
GM: This looks- hey, what are those two goofs doing here?
Chris Lehew’s former personal trainers, Steve and Adrian run down the ramp, chairs in hand. Adrian leaps up onto the ring apron, causing the ref to stop the count as Steve rolls into the ring cracking Parrish over the head with the chair. Tony slumps to the ground, out cold. Lehew snaps up angrily, shoving Steve. As Parrish is still out cold, Lehew rolls out of the ring, grabbing the mike from the ring announcer.
CL: I thought I told you two rejects that you were FIRED! Get out of my sight! If you’re so desperate for a job, go find Lars Magellan, I’m sure he needs some painfully obviously gay bodyguards!
GM: Woo! Lay down the law, Chris!
BS: This is disgusting.
Steve and Adrian start to leave the ring dejectedly but Lehew runs up behind them with the ring bell, clocking both of them with it. He then proceeds to throw both of them out of the ring where they meet the concrete with two sickening thuds. As Lehew sneers, talking trash to the two former trainers, Parrish has gotten to his feet and spins Lehew around and drills him in the face with a right hand, rolling him up high, looking for another Parrish Bomb, but Lehew slips out of it, catching him with a Sambo Suplex.
GM: Tony Parrish has just hit PAY DIRT!
Lehew covers, and the three count is academic.
BS: Chris Lehew has done it! He took it to Parrish and escaped with the victory.
GM: What did I tell .... ESCAPED with the victory? Why you rotten ---
BS: Wait Gary! I'm being told that we have a situation in the back.
GM: Again?
(The camera fades to the back and the Motor City Maniacs and Darkness are attacking Jesse Falcon. Ripper Robertson tosses Jesse Falcon face first into the wall as The Darkness grabs a folding chair and jabs the back of the chair into the ribs of Jesse Falcon. The Darkness gets face to face with Jesse Falcon and screams.)
The Darkness: How's that feel champ? Just a little example of what you can expect when I finally get you in that ring. I'm coming for that Cruiserweight Championship and I plan on bringing it to the Harbingers of Apocalypse.
(The three walk away as Jesse Falcon lays on the concrete.)
BS: THE HARBRINGER OF APOCALYPSE STRIKE AGAIN! Falcon is the victim! Folks we've got to cut away, but when we return it's number two for Aho as he takes on NEMESIS!!!
Blood, Milk and Sky" by White Zombie cues up as Evan Aho strides down the ramp for a second time this evening, the snap in his step that he possessed earlier is replaced with a slower, more energy conserving walk. He rolls into the ring, awaiting his opponent.
BS: This Aho’s second match tonight, and the signs of fatigue are showing.
GM: As technically sound and mat wise as he is, these kinds matches take their toll after a while.
He doesn't wait long. Within seconds "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix cues up. After a short while, Nemesis steps out from behind the curtain and make his way down the rampway. He rolls into the ring and the bell rings, thus starting the match.
BS: Nemesis is going into this match as the LAST standing member of Manifest Destiny, thus cutting off his chances for outside help.
GM: Those attacks are completely heinous! Whoever did them should be suspended! No, fired!
BS: Well, of the people who MD attacked on Genesis, Hellfighter isn’t scheduled to appear here tonight after being bed-ridden with a concussion, Aho is in this match, leaving Gemini as a probable suspect.
GM: So, you’re accusing Gemini, huh? Gutsy move, Sanders.
BS: It was just a hypothesis.
Aho and Nemesis lock up, Evan gaining the upper hand, twisting Nemesis' arm around and hurling him to the mat with an exploder suplex. Nemesis hits the mat, but hops to his feet almost immediately. Before Aho can react, he delivers a devastating spinning heel kick to the face.
BS: Nemesis taking the upper hand in this match-up.
Aho staggers but doesn't fall, backing into the ring corner. Nemesis shoves a boot into Aho's neck, choking him while the referee attempts to pull him off. As the ref reaches four, Nemesis lets go, whipping Evan into the ropes, following up with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Nemesis begins stomping his opponent into the mat, halting any attempt by Aho to get up. He yanks Evan Aho to his feet and delivers a second belly to belly suplex.
GM: Wow! Nemesis is busting out those suplexes for Aho!
Nemesis stalks over to the fallen Aho, looking to drop a leg across his throat, but Evan rolls to the side just in time, hopping to his feet and catching the recovering Nemesis with a full nelson suplex.
BS: Aho employing the dangerous full nelson suplex, as Nemesis clutches his upper back on the ground.
Aho strides over to the fallen Nemesis, lifting him partially to his feet and pulling him into a piledriver, the ring shaking from the impact. Nemesis gets to his feet before Aho, rubbing the back of his neck. Nemesis darts in drilling Aho with a series of right hands, but the former Extreme World Champion, grabs his wrist with one arm, then delivers a stiff chop to the Manifest Destiny member's chest, lifting him up for a brainbuster. However, Nemesis manages to float over, catching Aho in a cobra clutch slam.
GM: Nice reversal from Nemesis. Looks like Aho’s bitten off more than he can chew.
Aho immediately grabs Nemesis' legs and rolls him into a schoolboy. Nemesis kicks out before the one count and drives Aho into the mat with a guillotine leg drop. Aho crouches slightly, simply waiting for Nemesis to rise. As he does, Aho jumps in and hits a crisp, well-executed neckbreaker, Nemesis bouncing off the mat from the impact.
BS: Beautiful neckbreak from Aho! Wow!
GM: Eh. I’ve seen better.
BS: My partner, Mister Understatement
GM: My partner, Mister Smart A-
BS: Hold that thought, Gary!
Evan follows up with a leg drop of his own. Instead of getting up all the way, he merely grips Nemesis and pulls him into a Camel Clutch, holding the move for several seconds.Nemesis seems on the verge of tapping, but Aho releases, lifting him up by the hair and tries for a modified liger bomb, but Nemesis kicks him in the head on the way up and Aho lets go, Nemesis landing on his feet and dropping Aho with a double armed DDT
GM: Now THAT was beautiful!
BS: Eh. I’ve seen-
GM: Don’t even try to rip off my great lines, Sanders!
Nemesis drags Aho to the turnbuckle and hops to the top rope, leaping from it in a moonsault. Aho manages to get his knees up, ramming them into Nemesis' chest. Nemesis rolls around the ring, clutching his ribs as Aho slowly gets to his feet, shaking the cobwebs from his head and walking over to Nemesis, whipping him to the far ropes and catching him with a vicious implant DDT. Aho slowly gets to his feet, pulling Nemesis with him. He hesitates for a moment, allowing Nemesis a second to recover and capitalize. Just as Aho is shooting in at Nemesis' leg for a dragon screw leg whip, Nemesis throws his fist into a bone-cracking uppercut.
BS: Ouch!
GM: Nice shot!
Aho slumps back slightly, still maintaining a standing position. Nemesis rears his arm back throwing a clothesline right at Aho's face, but Evan ducks, catching Nemesis with an Inverted DDT out of nowhere!
BS: The Agony! Aho hits it!
Aho pulls Nemesis to his feet and lifts him into "The Ecstasy" (Tiger Driver '91). He nails the move, Nemesis falling limply to the ground. Aho is about to go for the cover when a bandaged Lone Wulf and Commando burst out of the backstage area, tearing down the ramp with chairs in tow. They are about to enter the ring when the masked Gemini leaps out of the crowd with a baseball bat, blasting Tasker in the face! He stands ove rhim again and takes off his mask to reveal ... HELLFIGHTER!!!
GM: NO WAY!
BS: This can only mean one thing, folks. HELLFIGHTER was behind the attacks!
GM: The choir boy?
BS: I’ll admit, even I didn’t think Hellfighter was capable of such acts.
Lone Wulf and Hellfighter begin trading blows with bat and chair, distracting the ref as Aho makes his cover. He eventually gives up, leaning over the ropes, yelling to the men on the outside. Nemesis, now to his feet, sneaks up behind Aho and drills him in the back of the head with a side kick, sending Evan tumbling to the outside. Nemesis follows, joining in the brawl. Commando has recovered and nails Hellfighter over the head with a chair as Lone Wulf kicks him in the stomach. Aho and Nemesis are brawling to the side of the others, as the ring has turned into a full-fledged warzone.
GM: It’s World War III here at ring side!
BS: Who’s that coming down the ramp?
GM: It’s- Oh, I don’t believe this!
Waz Up and the Heavy Metal Express sprint down the ramp, Waz Up spearing Lone Wulf into the steel ring steps and Jimi Sinister and Ozzy double clothesline Commando. The tides of the battle turn as Aho nails Nemesis on the outside with a standing facebuster, rolling into the ring soon after as the ref’s countout reaches six. Hellfighter nails Commando with the T-bar drop at the count of seven, while Waz Up super kicks Lone Wulf at eight. At nine Nemesis runs to the ring, leaping onto the apron. In the space of half a second, Evan Aho leaps onto the top rope, springboard missile dropkicking Nemesis back to the outside, the countout reaching ten. The referee awards Evan the victory as Manifest Destiny and Hellfighter, Waz Up, and the Heavy Metal Express all brawl up the ramp and out of the arena.
BS: Aho wins! It might've been a countout, but he outsmarted Nemesis and takes the win!
GM: But there is bigger news here! The Manifest Destiny and Hellfighter, Waz Up, and The Heavy Metal Express are still going at it!
BS: WAIT! We've got another situation in the back .... let's take the cameras out there ....
The scene cuts abruptly to the parking garage at the arena, where Chris Lehew is walking to a waiting limousine, some time after his earlier match with Tony Parrish. As Lehew is walking, a clanking noise is heard behind him. He stops and glances over his shoulder, looking out of the picture. Apparently he sees nothing, for he continues toward the limo, shrugging off the noise. Suddenly an open metal trash can slams down over Lehew, covering his head and upper body as assorted refuse falls from the open lid: some half-eaten hamburgers, several candy wrappers, and a broken transistor radio all clattering to the floor. Lehew flails around for a moment inside the can before a baseball bat slams into the left side, leaving a deep dent. The bat then bashes in the top of the can, leaving it looking like a crushed soda can. A pair of hands grab the staggering trash-can/Lehew combination and throws him into the open limo, the camera whipping over to reveal the assailant as ‘The Southern Fox’ Zero.
Zero: See ya at Shockwave...narc.
Zero kicks the door shut as the limo speeds off. ‘The Southern Fox’ chuckles to himself, the bat slung over his shoulder as he walks off whistling. The camera cuts back to the announcers table.
BS: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!
GM: DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!!!
BS: Folks we've got to cut away so don't you dare leave us yet!
[POD's "Tribe" hits the speakers and the former tag team champions, Tribal Instinct walk into the arena with their wrestling gear on. They have serious looks on their faces and it is clear that they are focused on the forthcoming title match. They slide into the ring and await their opponents. Instead, the sound of "Darkside" by Crazy Town hits the speakers and Marcus Gottfried steps out onto the stage.]
MG: Now before you get in a huff, boys, just... Trust me. Your opponents were found right here in Minneapolis, Minnesota... They are the Minneapolis Maulers!
["I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick cues up and two scrawny men in blue wrestling tights run down to the ring and go straight after Trypp and Brandon. Gottfried gets the mic and stops the fight momentarily]
MG: Wait wait.. You need an official for this match, do you not? Well, I'm appointing a SPECIAL ref: ME!
[Gottfried pulls his suit jacket off to reveal a referee's shirt.]
MG: McCarver, TWO can play at THIS game!
[Gottfried runs down to the ring to officiate the match. He calls for the bell.]
BS: Well, I guess the match has begun!
Trypp and Brandon go to work on the two much smaller men. Trypp whips Mauler 1 into the ropes and catches him with a spinebuster on the rebound. He pulls him up and tags Brandon in. Double suplex on Mauler 1. Brandon picks the tiny man up and delivers a chokeslam. He tosses him like a rag doll to the corner, allowing him to tag in Mauler 2. Mauler 2 charges in fresh and clothesline's Brandon's chest. Brandon stands firm as a wall and grabs Mauler 2's head and slams him to the mat. He picks him up again and powerbombs him. Brandon sets Mauler 2 on the top turnbuckle as Trypp ascends the opposing one. Brandon with a hurricarana on Mauler 2 while Trypp flies off of his turnbuckle with a senton bomb. Mauler 1 tries to get into the ring, but Referee Gottfried stops him and turns to see Brandon covering Mauler 2. Gottfried counts. One, two, three.
GM: New champs! New champs!
BS: What a load of crap!
[Gottfried grabs a microphone.]
MG: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners and YOUR NEW SSN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... Tribal INSTINCT!!!
[Gottfried hands the belts to Trypp and Brandon and the trio walks to the back as "Tribe" by POD plays once again.]
BS: What a travesty! He basically HANDED those belts to Tribal Instinct!
GM: Well they deserved them! McCarver violated a contract so they never should have lost them to begin with! Besides, he made them FIGHT for them!
BS: You call THAT a fight?! This is a bunch of Bull ....
{Suddenly Vice President Les McCarver appears from behind the curtain quickly making his presence known with the microphone.}
LM: You know what Marcus? That was pretty amusing how you took the rules and twisted them into your favor. It was almost amusing. Now I don't know what you were trying to accomplish here tonight, but I can assure you that the tag team champions are NOT Tribal Instinct!
GM v/o: I'm not liking this!
MG: Look here Mr. McCarver the last thing I need from you is some crap! I'm the one that runs the EWI and if I see it to be a disreguard of the rules I created then so be it!
LM: Actually ... not all of that is true. After seeing Mr. Zieba making his presence known on the ExtremeScreen I made a quick call to your bosses and guess what conversation we had?
MG: Oh no you didn't!
LM: Oh yes ... I DID! And you can call them to confirm this, but ... AS OF NOW ... NOT ONLY are the Mechanical Animals Angelus and Ruiner reinstaed in the EWI, but the farce you had in the ring ... how did Zieba put it? Oh yeah ... IS NULL AND VOID! The recongized UNIFED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE SSN AND EWI ARE .... THE MECHANICAL ANIMALS!
MG: BULLS(BLEEP)T!!!
BS: OH MY GOD! AND HERE COME ANGELUS AND RUINER OVER THE GUARD RAILING AND THEY ATTACK TRIBAL INSTINCT! THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ARE BACK!
GM: THIS IS WRONG! THIS IS SO TOTALLY WRONG!
BS: McCarver has made his presence known again and it looks like he went over Gottfried's head to do it! Folks we've got to cut away, but when we come back it's The Motor City Maniacs taking on The Dark Carnival!
GM: Oh great! Out of the frying pan and into HELL!
The Motor City Maniacs were the first ones to hit the ring and they greeted by a chorus of boos. R. James Phillips, who is leading the group, gets into the ring first and continues to play to the crowd so that the boos can continue.
BS: Seems Phillips is trying to get a rise out of the crowd here in the Target Center.
GM: You know, it's not that I have anything against the Maniacs, but they're style in the federation isn't needed. They pride themselves on hardcore and they've went out of their way to prove it again and again. Survivor Series matches, barnyard matches, Hell in the Cell matches. You name it and they've done it, but there is only one team I truly despise and that's ...
As McFarland continues to talk 'Questions' - Insane Clown Posse begins to blare and the crowd is surprised at first cause they can't match the music to the wrestlers, but as soon as The Dark Carnival makes their way out to the ring the sound changes to cheers. Once inside the ring both teams are at a stand still as their eyes are locked on one another. The only three that aren't focused are Phillips, Fairhurst, and Miso. Seeing that there is tension in the ring Phillips goes to the side and calls for a mic.
RJP: You know what? I'm not going to take a thing away from the match that is about to happen in the ring cause everyone has been asking for this one to be signed since day one. Sure you have teams that want to lay their claim to being the tag team champions, but what you're about to see right now is two teams that will stop at nothing to get the better of the other and get the win. And even then they'll want to take it a step further and crush their opponents! What you're about to see is the two best teams in the EWI go at it tooth and nail and, dare I say, draw blood. The ONLY thing that dampers this match is (he then points at Fairhurst and Miso) you two bimbos!
The crowd continues with the boos as Fairhurst and Miso react to Phillips comments.
BS v/o: Oh man what is he doing?
GM v/o: He's telling it like it is. Those two broads should be seen, and I do mean seen, and not heard!
RJP: At best you two are valets cause managers? Oh Hell no. You two are too stupid to be managers. But as wrestlers? Against Twin Phoenix? I know all about Miso and she sucks. THAT was proven in the back from what I heard ....
GM v/o: OH MAN! Somebody got dissed!
BS v/o: And that got Apocalypse's attention quick!
RJP: .... but you Fairhurst? I thought you were supposed to be all that. For all the talk you've been shootin out you damn sure didn't prove a think in the ring to convince me that you are something special. If it proved anything that match showed how much of a weak and dumb bitch you truly are!
GM v/o: OH HELL NO! What is Phillips doing?
BS v/o: And now he's got Powers attention, but Max and Ripper are at the ready!
As both the Motor City Maniacs and The Dark Carnival stand ready to attack, Fairhurst and Miso get right into the face of Phillips. Fairhurst holds her hand out and Phillips hands her the mic.
RF: Bimbos? Oral accusations? Weak and dumb bitch? Is that what you said? Well, Hell I guess there is only one way I can react to that ...
Before Phillips can react he is met from behind with a swing kick from Miso right into the arms of Fairhurst who instantly trips him to the ground and starts to haul off on him.
BS: OH DEAR GOD! You knew they would react and look at her go!
GM: But here comes what we've been waiting for! The MCM's and TDC clash!
BS: But they're not letting up! It's a pier six brawl in the center of the ring!
The ref assigned to the match tries to split up the two teams, but they push him away. The ref tries to break them up again, but Ripper pushes him away and back down to the ground.
GM: Damn ref get in there and break it up!
BS: He's not having any luck cause it's obvious these two teams hate eachother!
GM: He's gonna try to break up Powers and Ripper again. OH NO! THEY'VE JUST PICKED UP THE REF IN A DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!!!!
BS: AND THEY EXECUTE! The ref is out of this match and there is no control in the ring!
The bell begins to ring nonstop as several officials and other people from the back make their way to the ring trying to break this one up, but it's obvious it's not going to happen anytime soon.
BS: There is massive carnage in the ring! We're gonna take a break right quick, but when we return we'll have the Main Event ready to go cause it's .... I'm getting soemthing else now.
GM: Something else going on in the back?
BS: Actually they're saying we're gonna keep it rolling and move right into the main event!
GM: Quality television shouldn't be broken up with breaks anyway.
BS: Well I do have one thing to report as they try to get The Dark Carnival and Motor City Manics seperated. Earlier in the show, during one of our dark matches, a man in a black leather trenchcoat wearing one of those S&M zipper mask came down to ringside and caused total chaos!
GM: Oh I remember that. He just slid in with steel chair in hand and KO'ed both of them causing a no contest. He then went on to hit a 450 splash, but not on just one. Oh no. He nailed them both one on top of another. My question is who the heck was it? He looks familiar, but I can't put my finger on it.
BS: I don't know who it is either, but from what I heard Gottfried wasn't happy about it at all.
GM: That poor man has had a bad night all night tonight. He needs a vacaion from all these physcos in the EWI.
BS: Are you saying he should leave for awhile?
GM: Heck no. He should just fire all of'em!
BS: I figured you would say that. Well, the ring is cleared and it looks like Dan Ryan, ref shirt and all, is making his way down to the ring! How about it Gary? How would you call this?
GM: Sampson, the true ego in the EWI, needs his ass handed to him if you ask me and Ash is just the man to do it. Ash has felt the pressure from Sampson and he's looking for a way to shut him up and what better to do it in a match like this. Ryan by his side and the idea of a Federation title lingers in the match. Hell yeah Ash kick his ass!
BS: Folks this match is about to go down right now so let's go to the ring for THE MAIN EVENT!!!
Referee Dan Ryan calls for the bell and the match begins. Ash charges Sampson and throws him back into his corner, pounding him down in the corner with right hands and then stomping away on him until Ryan pulls him off.
GM: What's Ryan doing? That was perfectly legal in this match.
Ash pushes Ryan away as Sampson pulls himself to his feet. Ash turns to go back to Sampson but Sampson launches himself out of the corner, tackling Ash to the ground. He delivers a bevy of right hands to the side of Ash's head and then stands up. Ash gets to his hands and knees when suddenly Sampson lashes out with an extremely stiff kick to the face. Ash's head snaps back quickly.
BS: Wow. Sampson is really angry. Perhaps more angry than we've ever seen him.
GM: He's just being a baby. Boo hoo! Ash was my friend! Boo hoo!
BS: Are you done? Thanks.
Ash looks up at Sampson and a small trickle of blood can be seen coming from his mouth. Ash wipes a bit of the blood on his right hand and looks up at Sampson with a sly smile. He then uses his tongue to lick the rest of the blood off his lower lip and stands back up. The two men tie up and Ash powers Sampson into a corner. He knees him in the midsection and then slams him down to the ground. Ash tries for an elbowdrop, but Sampson rolls out of the way and gets to his feet. As Ash stands up, Sampson unleashes a spinning forearm smash, but Ash blocks it and executes an arm breaker on Sampson. Sampson falls to the ground, clutching his arm.
BS: Oh no. Sampson's arm may be injured after that one!
GM: Good! Tear his arm off, Ash!!
Ryan goes to check on Sampson, but Ash shoves him out of the way and picks Sampson up. Sampson lashes out with a fist to the midsection but Ash shrugs it off and kicks his injured arm. He then grabs the injured arm and whips Sampson down to the mat. Sampson tries to roll to the outside but Ash grabs the arm and locks in a crucifix armbar.
BS: Can you believe this? Ash is taking a rather scientific approach to this match!
GM: Yeah, but he knows he's hurting Sampson either way, so it doesn't matter!
Ryan checks in with Sampson, asking him if the wants to submit. Sampson says no and rolls onto his side, facing Ash. Ash boots him in the face, but Sampson continues fighting the hold and begins punching Ash in the knee and calf area.
BS: Look at this! Rob Sampson is trying to knot up Ash's leg!
GM: What's the point of that?
BS: Have you ever had a cramp, Garrett?
GM: Ohhhh...
Ash finally breaks the hold and Sampson rolls to the outside. Ash follows him out and stalks Sampson around the ring. Finally, Sampson turns to face Ash and Ash charges in for a clothesline, but Sampson ducks and Ash collides with one of the ringposts. Sampson executes a back suplex on the outside and then rolls back into the ring.
BS: Smart move there by Sampson. That's the veteran's advantage he's got over Ash.
Ash gathers his senses and rolls into the ring where Sampson stands waiting for him. He back Ash into a corner and fires off a series of knife-edge chops to the chest and neck. Sampson brings him out of the corner and whips him to the ropes. He catches him coming off the ropes with a lariat, sending Ash down to the mat.
GM: I've never seen him use a lariat before.
BS: Well think about it. He can't very well use his right arm so he opted to use the left.
GM: He's smarter than I thought.
Sampson follows up with a corkscrew legdrop and then covers Ash. Ryan counts: one, two...Ash kicks out. Sampson pulls Ash up and executes a spinning reverse kick to Ash's face. Ash staggers across the ring and Sampson follows close behind, spinning him around and then executing a belly-to-belly suplex. Sampson starts to cover him, but then stops and whispers something to Ryan. Ryan looks at Sampson, shrugs, and then shakes his head as if to say that what Sampson just said to him was correct.
GM: What is this, a conspiracy?!
BS: Why are you asking me?
Sampson rolls out of the ring and grabs the time keeper's chair. He rolls back into the ring and prepares to strike, but Ash nails him in the groin and Sampson drops the chair, leaving it to clang to the mat. Ash stands up and drops Sampson with a face crusher. He smiles sadistically at Dan Ryan, who does his best to remain stoic. Ash then grabs the chair Sampson brought into the ring. He slams it down acoss Sampson's back and then throws it to the ground.
BS: Well, you knew it had to happen. Ash is a sadist and he likes to inflict pain on his opponents.
GM: What the heck is Ash doing now?
Ash pulls Sampson to his feet and places him in the pumphandle position. He then picks Sampson up with the pumphandle and converts it into a sit-out tombstone piledriver.
GM: Oh my God! What a move! Where in the hell did he learn that?!
BS: Rob Sampson has used that move over in Japan before, that's where! Ash is trying to beat Sampson with one of his own moves!
GM: I like it!
Ash covers Sampson. Ryan counts: one, two, thr...Sampson gets a foot on the ropes. Ash pounds the mat in frustration and then yells at Ryan, who seems to ignore him. Ash drops a series of elbows on Sampson and covers him again. Ryan counts: one, two...Sampson gets a shoulder up.
BS: Sampson won't stay down!
GM: What a moron! Ash could MANGLE him!
BS: It's all about pride, Garrett!
GM: Screw pride!
Ash grabs the chair lying on the mat and waffles Sampson with it once again. He then positions it in the middle of the ring and goes back over to Sampson. He pulls Sampson up and whips him to the ropes, leveling him with a standing side kick on the rebound.
BS: Uh oh...that standing side kick usually means the beginning of the end!
GM: HAHAHA! Rob Sampson's time is past!! Long live the Ash era!!
BS: Ash has Sampson up and he's going for the Burning Sensation!! He lifts Sampson up...and...NO!!! Sampson escapes!! He spins Ash around. Spinning forearm smash! And again!
GM: Ash with a clothesline!! No!! Sampson ducked!!
BS: Hangman's neckbreaker by Sampson!! And he's going to a neutral corner now!! We've seen this before!!
GM: It can't go down like this!!
BS: Ash is getting to his feet. He's trying to find Sampson. He turns...and Sampson delivers the Show Stopper!!! He's going for...YES...he's locked in the Glass Ceiling!! It may be over!!
Suddenly the crowd begins to boo as Eddy Love, Cole Steele, and Tribal Instinct all rough out from the back and head to the ring. Dan Ryan is checking in with Ash, who's fighting the hold, when suddenly all four men slide into the ring. Love grabs the chair left in the ring and smashes it over Ryan's head.
BS: What the hell is this?!
GM: Why, obviously these members of Team SSN are acting outside of Marcus Gottfried's jurisdiction!
BS: My ass they are!
Cole Steele grabs Sampson and throws him over the top rope. The two members of Tribal Instinct pick up Ash and place him on the top turnbuckle. Brandon climbs an adjacent turnbuckle and as the crowd watches in horror, Tribal Instinct execute their Final Sacrifice maneuver on him.
BS: Final Sacrifice on Ash!! Good lord!!
Suddenly Ash and Dan Ryan come back into the ring, brandishing chairs. Ryan plasters Eddy Love and Sampson takes out Brandon and Trypp Williams. Ash is trying to get to his feet but does so only with an assist from Sampson, who is behind him. Ash grabs the chair Love had previously been holding and goes after Cole Steele, who bails out of the ring quickly. Ryan grabs Eddy Love and plants him with a Humility. Brandon and Trypp reach in and pull him out of the ring soon after.
GM: What the...? Why are they all working together again all of a sudden?!
BS: Out of necessity, Garrett.
Sampson drops his chair and gestures for all of them to get in the ring. All the members of SSN instead opt to back their way up the aisle as Sampson continues to watch on. Suddenly Ash spies Sampson across the ring and walks over, chair still in hand. He spins Sampson around and Sampson flinches as if he's about to be hit, but Ash drops the chair and instead offers Sampson his hand.
BS: Look at this!! Ash is offering his hand to Rob Sampson!!
GM: Oh this is just great! Let's all shake hands and be happy! BAH!
BS: It looks to me like the Inner Circle is alive and well! Ash, Ryan, and Sampson are all standing together as one, and the crowd loves it!
[Suddenly, Crazy Town's "Darkside" is heard playing and Marcus Gottfriend comes out from the back with a look of extreme anger on his face. He ignores the booing crowd and instead pulls out a microphone.]
MG: I don't know HOW or WHY this happened, but I am VERY unhappy about it!! I booked a main event and I said there must be a winner, and dammit, I meant what I said!!
[Sampson gestures for a microphone and is handed one.]
RS: Gottfriend, before you get your panties in a twist, I just want you to know that you've got a winner.
MG: I...I do?
RS: Yes, you do. I don't really care to go after the Federation title anymore, because I've got bigger fish to fry, if you know what I mean. So, Dan, do me a favor and declare Ash the winner of this match because he has by all means earned a chance to become Federation champion. I honestly thought you were going to tear my arm out of the socket tonight, bro.
[Rob and Ash exchange high-fives.]
RS: I tell ya what, Ash. Whatever you have to do to get that Federation belt, you know Dan and I will be right there behind you all the way. So Marcus, take a look at your NEXT Federation Champion...ASH!!!
[Limp Bizkit's "Break Stuff" begins to play as Dan Ryan raises Ash's hand, declaring him the winner. Rob Sampson looks on with a slight smile and nods his approval.]
BS: Marcus Gottfriend's been foiled again, but fans, we're out of time!! See you on Shockwave!! Good night!!
{Roll Credits}