(The lights go black, and there's a brief ominous silence. The EWI megatron flickers into life, and it shows a visual of a solar eclipse. The sound system starts to play a low ominous whispering, which lingers for a few seconds until it is obviously many people whispering the same line "Can you hear the voices?" over and over again.

The video screen shows the eclipse in progress, as the moon slowly covers the sun. As the eclipse progresses, the whispering turns to speaking, and finally loudly demanding the same question.

"Can you hear the voices?"

As the eclipse reaches the climax, the image on the screen blurs and morphs into the image of the chinese chi symbol. The voices silence as one loud yell, comes over the sound system.

"YES WE CAN!"

A *HUGE* pyrotechnic bursts across the stage. As it clears, "Beautiful People" starts playing on the sound system. Gemini appears on the top of the ramp, dressed in his standard costume, black and white boots and outfit, his outlandish bizzarre facepaint on. He holds a microphone in the other hand, which he lifts to his mouth to speak.)

"Wow... look at all the rednecks!"

The crowd murmurs, a little shocked, and people start to boo Gemini.

"What? Like you guys haven't looked in the mirror lately? This must be redneck central! Look at this fat piece of white trash here... cowboy hat, tommy shirt, longhorn belt buckle and $#!+kickers... This guy here is the frigging definition of redneck!"

BS: This is a side we've never seen from Gemini before.

MP: He just called this entire crowd rednecks! He's even crazier than I thought! You don't call them rednecks to their face baby!

BS: You just did, actually.

MP: What are you talking about? I didn't say that! That sort of thing is not my bag baby! There's all sorts of groovy cats down here in Texas!

The camera cuts to the fan Gemini was pointing out, he's giving Gemini the finger and obviously swearing at him.

"Yeah, yeah fatboy, like we wouldn't break you in half..."

"But anyways, we're not here to talk about all the rednecks, we're here to talk about the wonderful thing that happened in Germany. We were damn impressed. We were amazed! If you had been there with us... you'd know how happy we are right now."

The camera pans around the arena, and the fans start to cheer... many holding up Eli Flair signs. "Eli for Prez, The KING of extreme, Cane ME Ivy!"

"Yeah, yeah... we know what you're thinking, and no it's not Eli and his little ringbunny we're talking about. I mean... we're happy that Tasker lost the belt and all... and we're really happy that Brett Kross didn't win either... but, Eli? That *RELIC?*"

Gemini now has official heat with the crowd. They're starting to throw things into the ring...

"No... No... that's not what made us happy... Let us tell you about the wonderful thing that happened that made us so blissfully happy. Are you ready folks? The truly great thing that happened in Germany was this... Jeffery Roberts kicked Captain Boredoms Holier than thous @$$!"

"You guys have no idea what a wonderful thing that is. Really. Every time we head backstage and Godboy is on the card, he's praying, slapping backs, talkin bout his new-moron revolution... If there really is a *GOD*, I hope this isn't what he wants from us."

The camera cuts to a female fan in Gemini facepaint... she's tearing up a sign she made for Gemini.

BS: He's definately not making any friends here.

MP: There's two of him... Captain Duplex has all the friends he needs baby.

BS: You better hope he never hears you talking like that.

MP: What's he going to do to me?

BS: It wasn't very long ago he was talking about dropping a piano on Flair.

MP: I'll be good.

"So we'd just like to congratulate Mr. Roberts... the biggest talker in the EWI, and the guy that can back it up. We know he can back it up... he outtalked Schultze! Captain Boredom! Was the EWI paying this guy by the word?"

"But hey... we're getting sidetracked here... and we're trying to keep this conversation simple for all you (Pauses, smiles...) REDNECKS. We know it's rough for you guys... one minute your listening to a dynamic young star on the rise... the next thing you know your cousin sachays by and well... all the blood stops flowing to your brain don't it?"

A chair comes sailing into the ring. Gemini ducks it laughing.

"Whoa boys whoa! Our goodness! Did we hit a nerve on ... y'all?"

The camera pans the crowd again. They're really not happy with Gemini right now. It pauses on the female Gemini fan... her signs now shredded at her feet and she's crying.

MP: Poor little bird...

BS: Do you ever stop?

MP: Well it's obvious that someone should be... consoling her.

BS: Riiiiiiiight.

"But at any rate... we've decided to move in a different direction for now. There's one individual in this fed that's actually being held back by his belt, so we're gonna help him out. We're gonna give him the quality opponent that he deserves in the very near future, and we're going to beat his ass... take his belt and free him up. Don't get us wrong folks, we like this guy. He's got a lot of talent, a lot of heart, and he's even got a passable IQ."

"Oh... wait... wait... we're in Texas. Forgot."

"Sorry folks, let us say that in a way you'd understand... He's a tough ol' sum'bitch an he ain't to dang thick none either!"

The crowd explodes now, litterally furious with Gemini. Three more chairs come sailing into the ring, all missing by a wide margin.

"Wow! Truth hurts huh?"

"Now back to our next target. We think by now you guys should all know who we're talking about... We know you're all rednecks, but man, you can't be that inbred, right? Of course we're talking about Evan Aho. Mr. Hardcore. We dragged his butt out of the midcard and got him involved in the main event. Unfortunately, Mr. Hardcore didn't do very well... it's probobly the level of competition he was facing when he got dragged into this stuff. Look at his opponents! Tee Sledge? That's not an opponent... that's a free ride! No wonder Evan wasn't ready for the big time! He's been warming up on chumps like Tee Sledge or Tee Sludge... Ice Tea... something. God... what a loser."

The sound system kicks into life... CUE UP: Mother - Danzig. The crowd pops.

BS: Looks like business is about to pick up...

Tee Sledge appears on the ring ramp holding a mike, Dr Deputy stands beside him holding a chair. Tee Sledge looks really unhappy.

TS: BOY! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!

Gemini looks distinctly unimpressed. He shakes his head, then starts to speak.

G: Just once, we'd like to not be interupted.

TS: That so? Maybe you shouldn't run yoour damn mouth like you do. I got a mind to beat your punk ass from one side of this arena to the other!

G: Sludge...

TS: Sledge! *SLEDGE*! Get my damn name right freakboy!

G: Look... T-bone... schlepp... whatever your name is... We're talking here. Hit the bricks before the bricks hit you... kay?

TS: Thassit. That's *IT*. You run your mouth for the last time boy! Now you gots to pay!

G:Wow. (Gemini leans against the ropes while drumming his fingers on the turnbuckle.) The terror. How will we ever survive. Please don't hurt us Mr. Sludge. (Yawns)

Tee Sledge rushes the ring. He rolls under the rope and is quickly met with a couple of quick stomps from Gemini. Sledge winces, then rolls back under the ropes. Gemini bounces off the ropes and launches himself over the ropes onto sledge.

BS: Whoa! When did Gemini start doing that stuff!

MP: Since he became Blacks tag-team partner. Bloody lunatics...

Gemini hauls up Sledge and starts hammering him with left hands. He lands about four before Dr. Deputy clocks Gemini with the chair he was holding. Gemini drops holding his head, Deputy starts to wear Gemini out with the chair...

MP: That's going to leave a mark.

BS: There's a ref coming down the aisle. This is going to be an actual match!

MP: Groovy. The twins take another beating.

BS: I don't know about that... I've seen Gemini get up from worse.

CUE UP: Black Sabbath - Type O Negative

BS: Pat Black! Pat Black is here!

MP: Deputy dog is about to get neutered.

Black charges the ring area, clotheslining Deputy flat. He spins and gives the staggered Tee Sledge a superkick, knocking him flat as well. The camera shows Jade dragging Blacks trash can of weapons down the aisle as well. Black picks out a singapore cane from the can and gets ready to start beating on Sledge, then Gemini stops him.

MP: What? What's Gemini doing?

BS: I think he wants Sledge for himself!

Gemini talks to Black for a moment, Black grins and turns to start beating on Deputy with the cane. Gemini rolls Sledge back into the ring, then follows him in.

BS: Just in time... the ref was close to dqing both of them.

MP: I don't believe this is an actual match! What is the office thinking? Why are we watching this when we could be watching simply stunning?

BS: Do you ever quit?

Gemini picks up the staggered Sledge and press slams him. Turning he bounces off the ropes and drops a big elbow... that misses as Sledge Rolls out of the way. Gemini grimaces and holds his elbow as Sledge hauls himself up. Sledge times it perfectly as Gemini gets back to his feet and spears Gemini, desperate, Sledge hooks the leg and goes for the pin.

BS: 1..2..kickout!

MP: He nearly pinned both of them!

Sledge drags Gemini to his knees by the hair and starts to pummel him with lefts and rights, landing five before Gemini lowblows him.

MP: Square!

Sledge staggers back doubled over as Gemini regains his feet. He kicks Sledge in the gut, then double arm suplexes Sledge across the ring. Gemini drops another elbow, this time connecting, and Sledge starts writhing on the matt in pain. Gemini looks over at Black and laughs as he sees that Black is repeatedly bouncing Deputy's head off of the ringpost. He turns back to Sledge and starts wearing him out with kicks and stomps. Gemini climbs to the third rope, gives the crowd the finger, then does a legdrop across Sledges throat from the third turnbuckle.

BS: Wow.... Gemini's got his game face on to tonight.

MP: Did you just say he had his gay face on?

BS: WHAT?

MP: Hey... you said it!

Sledge ducks Gemini's clotheline after he's whipped across the ring, bounces off the ropes and misses with a missle dropkick that Gemini sidesteps. sledge rolls out of the way as Gemini goes for another elbowdrop. Sledge gets to his feet, bounces off the ropes and charges Gemini. Gemini attempts a backdrop, but the desperate Sledge turns it into an attempted sunset flip. Gemini teeters for a second as Sledge tries to power him down. Sledge fails, and Gemini slaps a clawhold across his forehead. Sledge howls in pain.

BS: Not looking good for Sledge right now.

Gemini drags Sledge to his feet, Sledge trying to pry the clawhold off of his forehead. Gemini whips him to the ropes, then locks another clawhold onto Sledges groin!

BS: Oh my god!

MP: Square! SQUARE! I knew it all along!

Sledge howls as Gemini heaves him up into the air and slams him down into the matt.

BS: What was *THAT*?

MP: Ummmm.... a crotchslam?

BS: That... that... that's just wrong!

(From there it's pretty much a quick finish, Gemini rolls Sledge onto his stomach, grabs his leg and slaps Torquemada on him. Sledge screams and howls as he tries to reach the ropes... but he can't do it and quickly submits.)

WINNER: GEMINI

BS: Well he did it, with a little help from Pat Black. I don't know how that would have turned out if Black hadn't showed up.

MP: What's Gemini doing? He won't release the hold!

Gemini indeed is keeping the hold on Sledge... Sledge screaming for mercy the whole time. Security and EMT's start to rush the ring but Black lays out two of them with the cane... forcing the rest back. Meanwhile Sledge passes out in the painful hold, so he's thankfully not concious when his leg finally snaps.

BS: Gemini just broke Sledges leg! Someone stop this!

MP: Oooooh. And Sledge spent all that money on dancing lessons. The poor groovy cat.

After the leg breaks Gemini releases the hold. The refereee gets right into Gemini's face, yelling and pointing at Sledge. Gemini smiles an evil grin, then belts the refereee, knocking him unconcious. He gives the crowd another finger, then locks Torquemada onto Sledges unbroken leg.

BS: Sick! He's sick! For the love of God someone stop this!

MP: This is horrible! I won't be horny for days after watching this!

Gemini cinches up the hold again, smiling the whole time. It doesn't take long for Sledges other leg to snap, coaxing feeble pathetic screams from Sledge. Gemini releases the hold, pauses for a second, then picks up a mike and addresses the crowd.

G: Does everyone... *GET IT* now? We're not playing anymore... with anyone. We're going to start hurting people now. This stupid piece of (BEEEP) is only the first. Anybody that gets in our way... is gonna pay. This chump interfered in just *ONE* of our matches... imagine what we're going to do to anybody else from now on.

BS: This is an outrage! He crippled Sledge just to make a point!

MP: Well... I hope he doesn't have too many more points to make.

BS: Maybe you can get him to make a few points on Ash?

MP: (Shuddering) Don't even say that name!

Gemini jumps out of the ring and Black and Jade finally let the ring attendants come to sledge and Deputy's aid. Black slaps Gemini on the back, obviously entertained by the actions of his partner. Jade gives Gemini a long deep kiss, grinding her body up against Gemini while Black laughs and watches, not disturbed in the slightest.

BS: They're just twisted. They're evil. Good god. I never thought I'd miss Manifest Destiny.

MP: Hmmm...?

BS: You're watching Jade, aren't you?

MP: That bird? Of course! She's kinky... not that that's my bag...

Gemini and Black head up the aisle... on the way there, the female fan shown earlier leans over the railing and screams at Gemini. Gemini looks at the fan for a second, then reaches out and grabs her arm, dragging her over the railing, he throws her kicking and screaming over his shoulder as he walks towards the back.

BS: Whats he doing now? He's kidnapping that girl!

MP: Maybe he's not a square?


(Backstage: the EMT's load Sledge into the ambulane. Pat Black throws the driver out starts the Ambulance, puts a brick on the gas pedal, pops it into gear and lets it crash into a wall....on the opposide side of the street after traffic narrowly misses it.)

BS: Oh my god….this is a travesty…

RH: I agree….I think me and the dynamic duo are going to have to have a chat.

MP: Yeah baby!

RH: Don't encourage them.


EWI Intercontinental Title Match

Jeffrey Roberts vs. Hellfighter

6'3", 240lbs | 6'11", 290lbs

Orlando, FL | Kansas City, Missouri

"Paint It Black" by Gob | "Revolution" by Kirk Franklin's


Roberts takes it to Hellfighter right from the get go. Hellfighter gets thrown back by several punches, then is leveled with a kick to the gut, ddt combination. Roberts picks up Hellfighter, tosses him into the corner and delivers a splash.

RH: Ahhh…..I'm back…did I miss anything?

BS: Umm, no, not a thing.

RH: I wouldn't lie to me if I were you.

MP: You missed an imprompto match between Gemini and Tee Sledge. Sledge went to the hospital. He's dead.

RH: Thank you Mike. It seems I am going to have to have a little talk with our boy Elroy.

BS: Hellfighter out of the corner, drop toe hold by Roberts…Hellfighter goes face first. Roberts takes adavantage and slaps on a sharpshooter.

RH: Hmmmm……I can't believe you lied to me Sanders, you should be ashamed.

MP: Yeah…ashamed baby!

RH: Shut up you kiss ass…

BS: Hellfighter working his way to Roberts foot.

RH: Ring the bell!….hehehehhehe Just kidding.

MP: Ha…..look at Mrs. Tania cheer!

BS: Hellfighter has got Roberts leg….he pulls it back and Roberts lets go and falls.

MP: Oh my…Look at those melons baby!

RH: No…why didn't anyone ring that damn bell…..I mean….umm…..yeah.

BS: Hellfighter up, but slowly…Roberts soon follows. Roberts grabs Hellfighter, Hellfighter punches Roberts….Hellfighter off the ropes, big shoulderblock sending Roberts crashing to the mat.

RH: Is that ref blind? Didn't he see him grab his hair?

BS: Obviously he didn't. Hellfighter picks up Roberts…german suplex. He picks him up again, T-Bone Suplex……Again he picks him up……Fall away slam. Hellfighter is on fire.

MP: Yeah baby…..Mrs. Tania really liked that one….!

RH: I bet. Hellfighter picks up Roberts and hits him with the T-Bar Drop. That should be about it for Roberts.

BS: Wait…what's this…..here comes Commando.

Commando comes down to ring, in his street attire and grabs a house mic.

MP: Oh lord…who gave that to him?

RH: That's what I am wondering.

BS: It seems Commando has got a letter…

C: Commando, I've followed your career since I've entered the EWI. I've watched in awe every match you've had in the short time I've been here. You are the true champion of EWI. You where screwed having to face off against six other opponents to defend your belt.

Commando shakes his head agreeing.

C: No other Champion before you would have had the guts to sign a match like that, your one of a kind. Now,I know you have a busy schedule and your determined to get the belt that is rightfully yours back. I know your training hard to get a match against Flair. However, there's only so much sparring you can do against the want-a-bes of the world. Would you take a match with me. I'm better than those want-a-bes or I wouldn't be in the EWI. I know the odds against me would be great, however, I'd like a match against the best wrestler in the world today. I'll give you the best I got.

C: In light of this little letter, I believe I will accept this person's arangement.

BS: Oh lord, Mr. Harders has left the commenting booth again.

RH: Okay Commando, since you have agreed, it is now signed. It's been your life.

C: So, who is this?

RH: Well, since you asked….

Large pops on the ramp and Highway to Hell by AC/DC plays out steps Mercenary dressed in black wearing his mask. In the ring Commando kicks the ropes and gets in Duprees face as Mercenary laughs.

C: This is a damn setup, what in the Hell do you think your doing?

RH: Hey, you shouldn't have interrupted the match man.

M: Commando, now its time to even the score.

Merc And Commando attack each other and security breaks it up and takes the two to the back.

BS: Damn, what was that about?

MP: Who knows baby, but Mrs. Tania is looking very shagadelic.

RH: Hey, don't screw with me…that's all you got to know.

BS: Roberts takes advantage of the distracted Hellfighter by hitting a bulldog on the distracted Hellfighter. He picks him up for a Double Arm DDT. The Cover……

RH: 1…………….2…………….3!

WINNER: JEFFREY ROBERTS(RETAINS)

RH: There you go…..I knew Hellfighter just didn't have it in him.

BS: Well, in my eyes, he had the victory….until you had to entertain Commando.

RH: Your opinion.

MP: Wow, look at her cry….I bet I can make her cry…yeah baby!


BS: Anyways, as we see it for next time….we have got Johnny Dazzle vs Stevie Cool, 'Inferno' Kevin Martinez vs The Darkness (Singles), 'The Dragon' Eric Davis vs Jesse Falcon, Simply Stunning vs The Darkness (Tag Wrestlers).

RH: We have also got….a Title vs Title…The Showstoppers (Owners of the NthWA Titles) vs The Night Cripplers, The Winner will UNIFY both titles!

MP: Yeah baby…and we'll have…the EWI Television Title match, 'Mr. Hardcore' Evan Aho vs Ash in an Ironman match.

BS: We have also got 'Too Sweet' Brian Schwartz vs Gemini, Tribal Instinct vs The Electric Company…the winner to get a shot at the Tag champs at the ppv, and for the EWI Tag Team Titles The Greats (C) vs The Motor City Maniacs.

RH: Don't forget the first round of the Womens Tournament…. Poison Ivy vs Rosanne Fairhurst, Jade vs Mrs. Tania, Calle vs Alla, her bestest buddy, and Anti-Girl vs Bret Sanders. Tune in next time.


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