Monday, the day after the PPV..
(The office once occupied by Co-Owner Harders, empty for the past month and a half is back in full swing again. The sudden pounding against wall sends the secritary in to investigate.)
Sec: What is it?
(Harders sits at his desk, tie and all, with a handfull of darts and several on the board across the room from him.)
RH: I think I should be asking you the same thing. You see, where I come from, it is tradition to knock on the god damned door. Now, if you see it fit to keep your job, I suggest you turn yourself around and just walk out.
(The secritary bows her head, turns around and walks out the door, shutting it on her way out.)
RH: Ahhhh, it's good to be back in power. Its even better to know that EZ has found it best to stay the hell away from me. I truly can't stand his irritating tone of voice, his power trips, damn he never ever likes my ideas.
I can see, with him gone, I have full run of the ship and everything I want to do, will get done.
(Fireworks go off from all corners of the building, the ring explodes in color. The fans cheer with every ounce of feeling they have. All with banners for their favorite wrestlers. While the camera pans around the announcers begin what they do best…announcing.)
BS: Welcome fans to yet another installment of EWI wrestling. We would like to thank all of you in attendance and all the fans for tuning into EWI television for our visit to Houston, Texas. I'm Bret Sanders along with….
MP: Mike Powers baby! You gotta love me!
BS: Do we really? Honestly, do we?
MP: Yeah baby, you know if it wasn't for me, you'd be out of a job.
BS: Anyways folks, we have got some great action for you tonight. We have got…
(Cue Up: " Down in the Park" by Maryln Manson.)
BS: We haven't heard that music in about a month and a half.
MP: Yeah baby, our real employer is back!
(Out comes Co-Owner Harders as he makes his way to the announcers table. He is wearing a shirt and tie. As he makes his way down to the announcers table he acknowledges the crowd as they give him a huge heel reaction.)
BS: Oh lord, I wonder what he has to say?
MP; I think he is coming out here to join us baby!
BS: Heaven help us.
(Harders takes the seat in between Powers and Sanders.
MP: Welcome boss, how may I service you?
RH: Shut up and stop ass kissing.
BS: To what do we owe the honer?
RH: Well, I figure I haven't been around in a while so…I will give all my fans something special, me for the whole night.
BS: The whole night?
RH: The whole night.
MP; Yeah baby!
BS: Anyways, as I was saying…we have got some great action for you here tonight. We begin thenight with the first round of the cruiserweight tournament and then we have got three other matches. We have got..
RH: We have got some guy named Macine Gun Kelly versus some other guy named Fear.
BS: Hey, those are two guys that are very well rounded and talented.
RH: Ehh, who the hell really cares, honestly?
MP: I don't baby!
RH: See… We have also got Tabu versus Striker…that should be a bore.
BS: Then why book the match?
RH: Cause that louse Zieba booked this crap, but that is a good point. Let's make that match, besides no DQ, let's make it something like Falls Count Anywhere, Weapons provided, and hell, Let's make it a 12 drink minimum.
MP: Oh, this is groovy baby, totally groovy!
BS: That is going to far…
RH: Too far? You haven't seen too far yet, I have still got some other ideas I will let you guys in on later.
BS: I don't think I like the sound of that?
MP: I sure know Zieba won't.
RH: Precisely.
BS: Then we have got the main event, which is Hellfighter attempts to regain his title back from Jeffrey Roberts.
RH: NthWA, that's where he came from, right?
MP: Yeah baby..
RH: That's Zieba's creation…..he's got to go!
BS: This should be a fun filled evening. Let's ….
("Bad Influence" by Eminem cues up. Ash walks out to the ring with metal chair in hand to a thunderous chorus of boos. He is wearing a tight black t-shirt with HOA in red letters. As always, a freshly lit cigarette is pursed between his lips. He grabs a mic from the ring announcer. He unfolds the chair in the ring and sits in it before speaking.)
RH; Who the hell is this?
BS: His name is Ash….he seems..
MP: He has got problems with Dupree..
RH: I don't like him!
BS: Do you like anyone?
RH: Nope.
BS: I thought so.
Ash: Evan Aho. "Mr Hardcore." Tough luck about the World Title. No, really. It's a damn shame. Next week, at Shockwave in Dallas, I will be getting a shot at that gold that's around your waist. Well, Aho, you may be one helluva wrestler. But one thing that you should not call yourself is Mr Hardcore. You see, Aho, when you step into that ring with me next week, you'll find out the true definition of hardcore. No, no. I'm not talking about the Extreme, weapons, bulls***. I'm talking about hardcore dedication. You see, Aho. I am dedication. I am determined to rip that title right off of your waist. And I am damned sure confident that I will do it. Do I think it will be an easy task? No. Can I pull it off? You bet your happy ass I can. So, Aho, I'd like to get to my true point of being out here. Next week, you and I will meet in Dallas, TEXAS. Well, there's a little game that they named after this (sarcastically) GREAT state. It's called the Texas Tornado match. Now, what I want is for you to get out here... and if you have the BALLS--
(The crowd boos)
RH: Oh, he wants to be in the title hunt huh?
MP: Seems to be baby!
RH: I guess he'll have to show us his stuff when he wrestle Aho at Shockwave.
BS: Well, that's one match for the next card!
BS: Yeah baby!
Ash: (clears throat) Excuse me. As I was saying, if you have the balls to face me in a Texas Tornado Match, then get out here right now and agree to this match so we can get it signed.
RH: Texas Tornado match? Naaaa….I think we'll make it an Ironman match, you know….best of 7 falls.
(Ash waits sitting in his chair. "Open Your Eyes" by the Guano Apes cues up and Chad Dupree enters and stands on the ramp.)
CD: Forgive me, Ash, but I'm not so sure a Texas Tornado match is appropriate for you match against Evan Aho. Given your past, I'm almost sure you'd find a way to have a little help during your match if you know what I mean.
RH: What the hell is this guy doing out here? What, I leave, now he thinks he's on top?
BS: Well, someone had to do something.
RH: Watch it..
MP: Yeah baby, tension!
Ash: Well, your honor, I'd be glad to tell my pals backstage to stay out of this match, if I so desire. What I want is a chance to prove myself here, and in my eyes, this is the perfect way to do it. I'm sure that Aho wouldn't want to refuse this match and be seen as a coward would he? You have my word, Dupree, that this match will be Ash vs. Aho. No interferance. Guaranteed.
CD: I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and sign this match, but I assure you that if you go back on your word, you won't like the repercussions, and believe me there will be repercussions if you cross me.
RH: No way, I am not gonna let this go down….excuse me!
Ash: Very well, and I thank you. Now, as a sign of trust, would you now like to shake on the deal?
(Harders grabs a bat from behind the spanish announcers table as Dupree hesitates and slowly moves towards the ring, being sure that security is aware of the situation. Ash stands as Dupree enters the ring. Dupree relunctantly moves his hand up to embrace Ash's. As he does so, Ash takes the steel chair that he's been sitting on and plows it into the commissioner's head, leaving Dupree out cold on the canvas of the ring. Ash kicks his unconscience body and throws his used cigarette on him as Evan Aho runs to the ring, to avenge the brutal attack. Harders just sits there and watches. However, before Aho can completely get under the ropes and into the ring, Ash hits him in the back of the head with the same chair. Aho stumbles and gets to his feet and atttempts to take Ash down, but Ash, being a bit more composed, narrowly escapes and lays the chair into Aho's back, then quickly exits the ring, his two foes fallen. "Bad Influence" starts up again as Ash walks backwards and as he turns around, Harders clocks him in the back of the head with the bat. He then raises a mic and begins to talk.)
RH: Oh hell no! You want a match with Aho, you got it, but it's on my terms. It's going to be an ironman match, best of 7 falls wins. You don't like it, tough luck, now drag these guys out of here, even that **** Dupree.
(Security cleans the garbage from the ring and Harders returns to his place at the announcers table.)
Davis and Strange lock-up and Davis slides behind and in to a rear waistlock. Strange reverses it and tries to take Davis over with a German Suplex, but Davis elbows him in the head to release the grip. Davis quickly pushes the stunned Strange in to the ropes and nails him with a spinning leg lariat as he comes back. Davis continues his assault on Strange with a big power bomb in the middle of the ring. Davis climbs to the top rope and attempts a moonsault on Strange, but Strange is able to get his knees up just before impact. Davis rolls away in pain, as "Showtime" slowly gets to his feet. He pulls Davis up by his ears and then drops him with a Russian Legsweep. He quickly pops up and nails a running legdrop, going for a pin: one...two..kickout. Strange pounds the mat in frustration, but pulls Davis to his feet once again. He whips him in to the ropes and tries for a back elbow, but Davis ducks it. Davis comes back off the opposite ropes and Strange goes for a clothesline, but Davis is able to catch his arm and float around him in to a DDT. Without hesitation, Davis pulls Strange up and drops him yet again with his Dragon Driver DVD. Davis heads up top and connects with his Dragon's Fire frog splash, hooks the leg, and gets the 3 for the win.
Falcon entered the ring first, but before his introductions were done, Thorn came running out of the back and slid into the ring. Falcon takes the opportunity to stomp on Thorn's back a few times and then kicks him in the ribs. Thorn slides back out of the ring, visibly frustrated. He grabs a chair and throws it into the ring. He then grabs a second chair and climbs back into the ring with it. He motions for Falcon to pick up the first chair, and Falcon does so. The two men bang their chairs against each other. Falcon drops his and starts shaking his hands. Thorn quickly capitalizes by leveling Falcon with a chair shot. He goes for the pin. 1...2...shoulder up. Thorn pulls Falcon to his feet and whips him to the ropes. He takes him down with a jawbreaker, jamming his head into Falcon's chin. Thorn then quickly hooks on a full nelson on the prone Falcon. The referee checks in with Falcon, but he manages to get to the ropes and this forces the break. Thorn goes for a clothesline, but Falcon ducks and executes a back body drop, sending Thorn crumpling to the mat. Falcon picks up one of the chairs and brings it crashing down across Thorn's back as he struggles to stand up. Falcon places his chair in the middle of the ring, and then drives Thorn into it with a belly-to-belly suplex. He goes for the pin. 1...2...kickout. Falcon quickly follows up with a double-arm DDT onto the chair and again goes for the pin. 1...2…shoulder up. Falcon sets Thorn on the top rope and goes for a hurricanrana, but Thorn counters with a huge powerbomb. He picks Falcon up and goes for a Russian legsweep, but Falcon counters with an elbow to the face and takes Thorn down with a belly-to-back suplex. Thorn quickly ascends the turnbuckles and executes his Fury Bomb senton and picks up the win a 3-count later.
(Falcon makes his way back to the locker room as the crowd jeers Thorn over his loss. Suddenly, "Battleflag" by the Low Fidelity Allstars begins to play and Commissioner Dupree emerges from the back with microphone in hand. He signals for the music to stop and then looks out at the ring.)
CD: Mister Thorn…I couldn't help but overhear the comments you made in my direction a few weeks back. It's amusing that you want to blame your inadequacies on me, when in fact the only man you should be pointing the finger at is the one who looks back at you in the mirror. Rather than blaming management for your mistakes, why not work on correcting them yourself? Consider this…a warning. And as for your past disgressions, I can forgive…but I will not forget!
(Before Thorn can reply, Dupree walks back through the curtain. Some fans in the front row laugh at and heckle Thorn, but he merely sneers at them before leaving the ring and heading back to the locker room.)
(The camera cuts to the back of the arena, where Eric Davis comes strolling in the parking garage. He has a smug look on his face as he carries his large duffle bag of his shoulder. He wears his familiar golden muscle shirt and his black and white Adidas pants along with a sleek set of black Oakleys over his eyes. The camera follows him as he walks down the halls of the arena... searching for his locker room. He comes across Cole Steele's room, and sets his bag down. He knocks on the door and waits for an answer. Steele opens it up, and gets ready to punch Davis.)
Davis: WHOAH THERE SLICK! I was just going to wish you good luck for tonight, and to say that I'm a forgiving man and I forgive you for what you did to me at the pay-per-view, I brought you a present.
(Steele looks on as Davis pulls the NthWA title out of his bag. He hands it over to Steele and he looks at it with a puzzled look on his face. Just then, Davis superkicks the title right into Cole's face, knocking him to the ground.)
Davis: That's the ONLY Cruiserweight title you're ever gonna put your grubby little fingers on! See ya' in the tourney, if ya' make it!
(Davis starts to walk away with his duffel bag, before he realizes he forgot his title. He walks back in the room, yanks the title off of Steele and spits on him.)
Davis: Oh yeah, good luck bitch!
(He shoves the title back into his bag as he walks further down the arena halls.)
Steele starts the match on the offensive as Darkness is taken back by several punches. Steele takes Darkness out of the corner with a slingshot to the otherside followed up with a splash. Darkness falls out of the corner and is down.
MP: Yeah baby, look at Steele's new ring bunnies…They're shagadelic baby!
RH: Mike, Mike, Mike….I think your mind is being overshaddowed by breasts instead of the task at hand.
BS: What is the task at hand, really?
RH: I'm glad you brought that up….but all in due time son. For now, just watch the match and call the play by play.
BS: Cole picks up Darkness and hits him with three German Suplexs…he's bridging….1……2……No! kickout!
MP: All I saw was breats bouncing up and down…..yeah baby!
RH: It seems like Steele wanted to put away Darkness early, but the rookie finds a way to bust out of Steele's new finisher. Damn, I knew we signed him for a reason.
BS: Steele picks up Darkness, sends him in the ropes….Double Clothesline…both men are down.
MP: Oh my…..all three women at ringside are cheering…..jumping…..ahhhhhhhh!
RH: Need a towel over there?
BS: Steele up first, picks up Darkness….Darkness with a series of punches to the gut, doubling over Steele. He picks Steele up and drops him with a powerslam, then runs off the ropes and does a moonsault off the middle rope! Darkness up, he goes to the top and drops an elbow, sending Steele into convultions.
RH: But wait…here comes the cavalry…The Maniacs come down to ringside as the two chics grab the ref's attention.
BS: Calli and Alla.
RH: Whatever….The Maniacs start to land punches on Darkness sending him into the ropes…
BS: Ha, Darkness counters with a clothesline to both Maniacs sending them tumbling over the top rope.
MP: They're still jumping….this is the best I've ever seen EWI baby!
RH: Watch it Sanders…..you may find yourself in a position you may not like.
BS: Ummm….Steele tries to converge on Darkness when his back is turned, but darkness catches him int time and hits him with a superkick sending Steele and the cahir he was carrying sprawling to the mat. Darkness has got the chair and nails Steele right across the head as he was getting up. He flings the chair aside. 1…….2……..3!
RH: Well, Darkness finds himself in round two. Hopefully someone will teach him how to act in a ring. Ha, perhaps I should show him a thing or two.
BS: No offense sir, but your done wrestling.
RH: We'll see about that Sanders….we'll see about that.
(CUEUP:"Loco" - Coal Chamber. From the curtain emerges the EWI World Champion, "Total Elimination" Eli Flair, as well as his manager, Poison Ivy. The belt is draped over his shoulder.
He's getting one of the best pops of the night, but he seems almost oblivious to it as he steps through the ropes into the center of the ring, microphone in hand.)
ELI:I told the rest of the EWI.... I told the entire GODDAMN WORLD.... that Eli Flair would NOT BE DENIED. I told Radder. Kross. Gemini. Black. Commando. Aho. But you know what the funniest thing of all is?
NONE OF THEM.... believed me.
And look at me now.
(HUGE pop from the fans.)
ELI:There's something that needs to be said, however.... and that's that I don't think Steve Radder had an equal opportunity in the Tower of Doom. Forget about the rest of it, in my opinion, just about anything was fair game when it came to the seven of us.... but it was our dearly departed, certifiably CRACKED UP Co-Owner that decided to interfere, PHYSICALLY, in Radder's chances.
Well, I don't play it that way.
Because right now, there's a contract on the table in the back, for a TITLE MATCH between myself and Radder.
That's not the point of this whole thing, however. The reason for this little spiel is directed at Randy Harders. We go back a long way, don't we? I recommended you for the CSWA job, we were the first tag team champions here.... We've made pretty good friends, Harders.... but one thing has been made perfectly clear.
We make BETTER ENEMIES.
(HUGE pop from the crowd.)
Watch your back, Harders, because Owner, Commisioner, or not, the KING of EXTREME is looking to take a chunk outta your buearocratic ASS.
Now that the dirty business is out of the way.... Rob Sampson, our beloved EXTREME Champion.... it seems we're headed on a collision course. Am I worried about it? That depends on what you---
BS:OH MY GOD! Randy Harders just got out of his announcing position! He's attacked the Champ from behind with a baseball bat!
(Ivy starts to go after Harders while he just pushes her down with one hand.)
RH: Flair, I've heard enough of your ****! You want enemies, well here I am. You want a match with Radder, you got it, but I set the rules and you will not have any say in it.
(Ivy goes after him again and he pushes her down again without as even to giving her a glance.)
Which brings me to another surprise of the evening. Oh yes, I know how you fans love surprises!
(The crowd starts the oh-so-famous asshole chant.)
That's right…live it up now.
(Ivy and Harders continue the same action that has already happend twice before….Harders not so even giving her a glance.)
Well, as I was saying…..we here at the EWI, okay…I am starting a womans tornament here. The participants, most nonwilling but must be there, will be Mrs. Tania…… Anti-Girl, or whatever her name is…..Calle and her girlfriend, or whatever their names are……..Mrs. Fairhurst……..Jade……….Bret Sanders…….and you Posion Ivy.
(She suddenly stops the attacking and just stares…..)
Okay….now I'm done….someone drag this piece of **** out of my building!
Cool starts out first with a arm drag take over from the tie up. Kearns gets up quickly and drops Cool with a drop kick, Cool back up quickly and the two tie up again. Kearns wins this one and drives Cool into a Corner.
BS: That was uncalled for, what you did to Flair.
RH: Cry me a god damned river Sanders.
MP: Ha……Bret, you have to wrestle with women…..
RH: Just call the match Sanders.
MP: Wait a second…..can I be in this tournament?
RH: Shut up Powers.
BS: Kearns lays Cool out with a series of punches. He picks up Cool and drops him with a side suplex.
RH: Kearns takes the walk around the ring…..what a schmuck!
BS: Cool gets up and spears Kearns. Cool gets up and goes off the ropes, dropping a leg across the face of Kearns. Cool aides Kearns up and drops him again with a Russian Leg Sweep.
MP: Where are the babes? When do we get to see some of the tournament?
BS: Cool puts Kearns in a figure four, Kearns is in agony.
RH: It will start at the next card….and the women must wear their skimmpiest outfit.
MP: Yeah baby! Yeah!
BS: Cool gets fed up with Kearns and picks him up and hits a piledriver.
RH: What's the matter Sanders, you seem awfully quiet?
BS: Listen, I am going through with whatever you want because you are the guy who signs my check, but if you think I am going to enjoy it, you have another thing coming.
RH: Well, well, what got your panties in a bunch?
BS: Cool goes up to the top, he drops the elbow. He stands up and waits for Kearns to get up……..There it is….the Stevie Kick! He's out!
RH: The original finisher….
BS: There it is….the three count and Stevie Cool picks up the victory and advances to the second round.
MP: Yeah baby, bring on the chicks!
BS: An impressive victory by Stevie Cool, moving on in this tournament for the Cruiserweight title.
RH: You know, I think I have just about proven my point, or have I?
BS: Oh god, let's just get on with the evening so I can get out of here.
With Fear already standing in the ring, Machine Gun Kelly is introduced to the Houston card. Kelly hits the ring and immediately goes after Fear. He scores with a clothesline. Fear gets back to his feet only to bet met with a stiff forearm followed up by a backbreaker. He goes for the cover, but only gets one. Kelly pulls Fear to his his, only to drop him again with a DDT. Kelly again goes for the pin but only gets two. Frustrated, Kelly whips Fear to the ropes and nails Fear with a devastating lariat that sends Fear into a 180-degree flip before he lands on the mat. Kelly begins working the crowd, eliciting a loud chorus of boos and jeers. Fear slowly gets to his feet, only to be caught with a kick to the midsection and dropped with Fear's spinning reverse powerslam known as the Reload. The three-count is academic afterwards.
The match starts out with a quick pace. They lock up, Tabu is sent realing across the ring, his back hitting the corner. He jumps up as quickly as he went down and starts to exchange blows with Striker. Tabu with the upperhand, a kick to the gut and places Striker into a piledriver.
MP: My vote….Let's go Tabu baby!
RH: My favorite kind of match…one where both will end up on the IR.
BS: Tabu with a springboard plancha, Strker's head rebounding off the ground.
RH: Tabu tosses Striker out of the ring and goes to the top rope. Moonsault!!!!
MP: Ye…..Owwwwwwwwwww!
BS: Striker moved and Tabu nailed the gaurdrail….Blood spews out of his head. Striker takes advantage with a pile driver on the outside. He then takes the limp Tabu and rolls him in the ring.
RH: Cha-ching….I see my pockets getting bigger.
MP: Hey, do we get a raise?
RH: Ha….yeah right..
BS: Striker grabs Tabu and sends him off the ropes and Tabu gets hit with a viscious clothesline. Striker goes to the top and drops an elbow right in the chest of Tabu.
RH: Saul E. Looks to be a little upset…..I wonder why?
BS: Striker goes to the outside and grabs a chair, he slides it into the ring….Tabu gets up and picks up the chair. Striker is to busy jawing with Saul E. to notice Tabu, Tabu sets up the chair, off the ropes and…Oh my god! Suicide Dive! Striker never saw it coming.
MP: Yeah baby! Bringing in the ratings!
BS: Tabu grabs a hold of Striker and helps him into the ring, he goes for the pin….1…….2…….3!No! Striker kicked out. Tabu helps up Striker…..sends him into the corner…..Tabu jumps…hurricarana! Striker down again.
RH: There it is…Saul E. slides a chair into the ring as Tabu hits Striker with an Arabian Leg Sweep.
BS: Tabu grabs the chair and puts it ontop of Striker, Tabu to the top! DOA! There's the cover…..1…….2……………3!
RH: What a match…..what ratings……and, oh my…..I have to go to the bathroom….now if you'll excuse me.
BS: Ba-bye…Tabu with an impressive win.
MP: Yeah baby! Blood everywhere.
BS: Is that all you can think about?
MP: No way baby! I think about shagging too!