(Clips of Eddy Love being handed the title by Erik Zieba, of pinfalls over several opponents, Pat Black interferring after his last match.)
V/O: Eddy Love, the first champion of the EWI. Since his obtaining of the title, he has been scarce. His resurgance back to the squared circle, hindered by one Pat Black. His comments about EWI officials, surrounding the man with contraversy, an affliction Eddy Love is used to.
(Cut to clips of Pat Black saving Radder, jumping Eddy Love, beating Jamie Baker, and beating Gemini.)
V/O: Since he came to the EWI, the man who holds Kermit dear has delivered his message, quick and blunt. He Wants The Title! Everything else is secondary.
(Cut to still shots of Bret Kross, Lone Wulf, Jamie Baker, Tee Sledge, Evan Aho, Hellfighter, Matt Martin, Kevin Powers, Cameron Cruise, Eli Flair, Pri$m, Wayne Roberts, Gemini, Jimmy Krane, Chris Strange.)
V/O: Each of these men byde to take the spot of the now retired Steve Radder for the final spot in the three way match up for the world title. Each wanting a piece Eddy Love, a shot at gold. For most, it would be their first, for the others, it would just be one more step further. The Battle Royal, to determine who wants it most.
Many of these wrestlers have other matches in the card as well. Can they hang in? Who will be the EWI's next World Champion, or will Eddy retain? Only time will tell.
Pri$im gets to the lockeroom, he places his stuff down on the floor and starts to unbutton his shirt, getting ready for the upcoming battle royal. He opens his locker and he's met with a cigarette flicked to his face. Kearns steps out of the locker and delivers a punch or two. He then takes Pri$m's hand and rams it in the locker door, trying to break his fingers. Kearns yells something at Pri$im and leaves.
(Pre-recorded)
(Jammy is seen with Mama Bubblicious in the back. She hands him a vial and...)
MB: Jammy, tis very very powerful. Use it wisely.
(As Jammy slips into a back door he smiles that ever present cheshire cat grin...
J: Mama, Jamaliah Creed tis on it.
[The scene opens up with Co-Owner Zieba, Eli Flair, Poison Ivy, and Matt Martin along with several officials in one of the dressing rooms 'conversing' about the LushPac rules match.]
EZ: Alright this is how it's gonna go down. You both can start drinking right now and....
PI: Wait a second. Flair has to wrestle a Battle Royal first before his Extreme match.
MM: Yeah! So do I. The HELL I'm not drinkin right now!
PI: Yeah Zieba. Who do you think you are?
EZ: Well I'm not your boy Harders who you seem to Okie-Doke so much. AND, now thinking about it, I'm your boss! You signed the contract so guess what....DEAL WITH IT! Who do you think YOU ARE? Commish? Look what happened last time you tried to take over! You see the bottles of Tequila over there. I want AT LEAST a bottle each polished off before you go into the Battle Royal. The rest will be done before you go out for your Extreme match.
EF: And if they're not?
EZ: Oh they will be don't you worry about that big man. Rules are rules and you BOTH signed the contract. I would HATE to call you on a contract dispute.
[At that moment Kevin Powers comes in with Roseanne Fairhurst and disrupts the conversation.]
KP: Hey who's having a party without Good God?
EZ: Oh you're not involved in this one.
KP: What? And miss out on free booze? That YOU sprung for? I think not!
RF: (by the bottles of Tequila) Hey Kevin....It's 1800! You're favorite!
KP: Oh HELL! Flair...Martin. Get off your assess and get to those bottles. It's Party Time GOOD GOD STYLE!!
EZ: (walking out of the room) And this was MY idea....Lord!
(The camera pans around the wide open arena showing the crowd with all their signs and memorablia. Several signs are shown immediatley. "Gemini, how's your ass?" , "Martin's a Paper Champion!" , "Hey Harders, leave Eddy alone" , "Powers/Flair give it to us one more time" , "Where's the Clique?" , ect.)
BS: Hello fans, and welcome to EWI's first ever BlackIce pay per view right here in Giants' Stadium, the Meadowlands, New Jersey!
BS: I am Bret Sanders and with me is my co-…
MP: And I am Mike Powers, yeah baby! New Jersey are you ready to get Groovy Baby?
(Crowd pop)
BS: Anyways, This night promises to have lots of fantastic surprises. I am aware of one surprise already. Before the show, the one known as Kearns attacked Pri$im.
MP: Yeah Baby! I think the guy is great, Harders and Zieba should sign him as soon as possible.
BS: Aren't you listening to yourself, he shouldn't even be here, let alone be attacking anyone.
MP: You do have to admit, he is friggin hilarious baby!
BS: Still, the matter of the fact is, he attacked someone who had nothing to do with his matter with the front offices. Not to mention one of the battle royal participants.
MP: He wouldn't be doing this if he would just get signed, now would he?
BS: If Harders and Zieba signed him, it would only get worse. Speaking of the Battle Royal, It sure is gonna be a doosy.
MP: Yeah baby, lotsa wrestlers in one ring, there is sure to be some broken people in there somewhere.
BS: Is that all you can think about?
MP: No, I think about shagging to.
BS: Oh Lord! Anyways, in the battle royal are Bret Kross who has been teaming up with matt Martin to wreack havoc on the EWI, and have been in a war with Eli Flair.
MP: Yeah, Kross and Martin are going for the world tag titles tonight as well as defending each of their titles and are in the battle royal. These guys can do everything baby!
BS: Joining them in the royal are Eli Flair, who is in a personal war with Martin, not to mention a match for the Extreme Title later on in the evening. Lone Wulf, who is in jail at the moment, last I heard at least.
MP: I heard he was getting lessons from Gemini about how to take care of yourself in the slammer baby!
BS: Gemini is yet another up and commer in the battle royal, along with the likes of Evan Aho, who also has a match with Bret Kross for the television title. Can it get any better?
MP: My pick for the battle royal would have to be Gemini, he has got the endurance baby! He did it with two DEA agents and …..
BS: Okay, the other participants are Jamie Baker, who we haven't heard from in ages, Hellfighter, who is wrestling K-9 for the Intercontinental title, Kevin Powers…
MP: That Drunk? Can he walk, let alone wrestle?
BS: Hey, he got help.
MP: Yeah, from Eli Flair and Poison Ivy baby.
BS: Also in the battle royal is Cameron Cruise, Wayne Roberts, Jimmy Krane, Tee Sledge and Chris Strange.
MP: Huh, that's strange.
BS: What's that?
MP: Chris is baby!
BS: Also in action tonight is Nemisis versus Micael Gettis.
MP: Oh, that should be interesting baby. Should I take some No-Doze or what?
BS: Would you just relax? Also on the card is X-Con versus Scott Stabb.
(Mike Powers makes snooring sounds.)
BS: Stay sleeping would ya, then I wouldn't have to put up with your crap tonight.
MP: What crap?
BS: Oh, I see, so you are awake.
MP: Yeah, until I see the match between Jeffrey Roberts and Lukaas Holden.
BS: Jesus, you are just a front runner aren't you?
MP: Not true bay, I like to do it from behind too.
BS: Someone save me. We have also got Jammy versus Gemini, GA versus Chaos Dragons, and The Meastro in action tonight.
MP: Yeah baby, about time we got to the action.
BS: Not to mention we have got Eddy Love versus Pat Black versus the winner of the battle royal.
MP: So, they are just going to hand Eddy the title again, right baby?
BS: Whatever. Let's get to the action of our first match, the battle royal.
(Jammy enters his dressing room, where he opened up his locker to find two bags of what appears to be marajuana and cocaine. Jammy cracks the bags open and smells each, he shacks his head and throws them aside in the garbage.
A knock at the door is heard, Jammy goes over to open the door where the two DEA agents from Heatwave are there. They usher Jammy aside and send the cameraman out as one of them are preparing a latex glove.)
(A car pulls up in the ack stage area, out steps K-9 from the passenger side. He says somthing to the driver, and the driver backs up and leaves. As he walks inside the building he is confronted by his girlfriend, Ti'an A.)
Ti'an: Hope you found what you lookin for?
Kevin: (in a dark depressed voice) No...
Ti'an: Well either way, you got a match tonight.
Kevin: ...
Ti'an: You know...verse Hellfighter. You better be ready...
(Kevin says nothing, just walks away.)
The participants of the battle royal where each called down the aisleway, first down was Tee Sledge, followed by Cruise who was followed by Pri$im, followed by Wayne Roberts, followed by Chris Strange, followed by Jamie Baker, followed by Jimmy Krane, followed by Gemini, followed by Hellfighter, followed by Bret Kross, followed Lone Wulf, followed by Evan Aho, followed by Matt Martin , followed by Kevin Powers, and followed by Eli Flair.
BS: Well I guess Lone Wulf was able to join us after all.
MP: I bet the Lone Puppy broke out, yeah baby.
BS: If that is the case, then he is stupider than I thought.
MP: Would you want to be like Gemini and getting where even preparation H can't help?
BS: Oh Lord!
The bell rings and they all go at it. Sledge aims for Baker, from the tie up he sends him into the rope and delivers a massive back body drop. Sledge grabs Baker and pile drives him right into the canvas. He drops a couple of elbows on him and begins to kick him.
Cruise grabs a hold of Kross, where the two of them exchange punches with Cruise giving ground. The same time as Eli and Martin going at each other. Eli grabs Martin by the throat a puts him down with a choke slam.
Cue up: Led Zepplin, as Eddy Love makes his way down ringside with a neck brace on.
BS: Eddy Love, to what do we owe the honor?
EL: I came to watch all these no talent haks attempt to "earn" a shot at the Eddy Wrestling International Champion.
MP: Yeah Baby! Wait, where's Melissa?
EL: Do you honestly think I would bring her out here so you can salivate with your cockeyed teeth over her? I don't think so.
BS: Oh my, Jimmy Krane and Wayne Roberts both eliminated quickly as Sledge saw his window of oportunity.
EL: Big Whoop. Do you wanna know what his window of opportunity is? It's getting Eddy Love a coke.
MP: Hey, I heard Jammy has got some of that for you.
EL: Would you just shut up when I begrading people!
Gemini goes after Hellfighter as Pri$im and Aho go at it. Lone Wulf takes Chris Strange and whips him into Kevin Powers. Powers takes Strange and sends him over the top. Flair applies the Total Elimination to Kross as Martin has got Cruise on the ropes ready to go out.
Someone comes down to ringside. He's bowing his head down, wearing a rice patty hat like Ryden in Mortal Kombat, and a black cloak... you can't see his identity. He walks over to the ring announcer, looks up and you can just see a cig dangling from his lips. He then flicks it in his face, takes off the hat and cloak to reveal it's Kearns. He grabs a house microphone while the battle royal is going on.
Kearns: Oh, look at this! How exciting, a jobber battle royal! I'll whip any of you jobbers, I'm the greatest ever! Don't you know who I am? I'm Kevin Kearns-- I'm the best! No one can stop me. I'll ruin all of your gimmick's, you'll never work in this sport again when I'm through with you! I'll.....
At that moment Kevin Powers sneaks up behind Kearns and grabs him from behind and tosses him out over the top rope. Kearns hits the ground with a loud thud as Powers is screaming to him from above.
KP SCREW ..... YOU!!!
Kearns tries to get back on the ring apron, but Powers kicks him back down on the ground.
BS: Okay, someone get this guy out of here.
EL: Even if this guy was in the Eddy Royal, he couldn't win. He couldn't even imagine to be in the same ring as Eddy Love.
MP: Yeah baby, get this bird out of here!
Security bum rushes Kearns and drags him off kicking and screaming as Flair drags Martin to his feet and sends him right into the corner where Kross and Cruise are. Cruise grabs a hold of Kross as both spill out.
EL: The Krossed eyed wonder, never ceases to amaze me. He stayed in there a hole what, 5 minutes?
BS: Eddy, shouldn't you be flattered or something?
EL: You want flattered. Get over here while unzip my pants and Eddy Love will be flattered.
MP: Groovy, Eddy's gonna get some.
Sledge has got Baker, Baker mounts a come back as he gives Sledge a couple of round houses, sending him against the ropes, Baker goes off the opposite ropes, Sledge backbody drops Baker over the top as Pri$sim comes over and begins to pound on Sledge.
EL: Is this "talent" filled rumble over yet?
BS: Hey no one asked you to be out here.
EL: Hey, I know this talent filled roster on the canvas right now needed some help for the ratings, hence me.
MP: Eddy's our man, he is the grooviest person in here!
BS: Shut up kiss ass.
Hellfighter grabs Lone Wulf and sends him into the ropes, Lone Wulf reverses and misses with a clothesline, Hellfighter grabs Lone Wulf from behind and drops him acroos the top rope. He then scope slams him out on the concrete floor.
EL: How many does that make still in there?
BS: What's a matter Eddy, they didn't teach you how to count?
EL: Eddy knows how to count to three, that is all I need. The money, I have so much, no one can count it, the fame, yet again, who can count that, a ring full of morons, who wants to count that?
Flair grabs Powers from behind and sends him down with an atomic drop. Then Martin comes over and grabs Flair, he gives him a few rabbit punches and drops him with an inverted DDT. Sledge grabs Pri$im, he sends him into the ropes, kick in the gut and a quick snap suplex.
BS: Sledge looking semi-impressive here.
EL: You want to see impressive, you just wait, Eddy will show you impressive.
MP: Yeah baby, you gonna show them what Extreme is all about?
EL: Extreme? Oh yes, Eddy Extreme.
Sledge grabs Pri$im and sends him over the top rope. Gemini comes over to Sledge and works him over with several well timed punches and kicks. Aho puts Hellfighter down with a clothesline. Flair and Powers are aiming high with double punches to Martin's head, sending him flaling on the ground.
EL: It's about time the field was cut down, I've been waiting for this to end all night.
MP: What kind of name is Pri$im anyways? It's like a bad night with a woman, how do you tell her that she is horrible?
EL: Who knows, I never get to that part, I just kick them out after I'm done.
BS: Would you two stop that, we are catering to a young audience.
EL: Young and impregnable.
Aho grabs Sledge sends him into the ropes and delivers a massive drop kick, sending him out onto the concrete floor. Hellfighter goes after Aho, setting him up in belly to belly suplex. Flair grabs Martin and sets him up with a neck breaker. Martin quickly back up, Flair hits him with a double arm DDT. Powers has got Gemini, Gemini is dropped with Kiss the Canvas. Powers uncharacteristically goes to the top rope.
EL: Oh Powers, what a long time it has been. Now if you will excuse me.
BS: Where the hell is going?
MP: He wants to say hi to his old buddy Kevin.
BS: Eddy Love has just grabbed Kevin Powers leg and crotched him on that top turnbuckle. Gemini gets up and takes advantage of this and dropkicks Powers and Powers hits the ground hard.
EL: Hmm, sorry about that, I just had to say hi to Kevin.
BS: Powers doesn't look like he's happy about this. He drags Gemini out under the top rope and proceeds to hit him with another Kiss the Canvas. Uh oh Eddy, it looks like he is coming over here.
EL: Oh no….not the drunk himself.
Security comes over to show Powers the way back to the locker area, he struggles and it eventually takes 15 men to get him out of the ring area.
EL: What's the matter Kevy, can't handle the Hurricane?
BS: You know you are in for it later, don't you?
EL: Hey, remember, I can't wrestle later. These guys are all in vain for the night. They should be happy. I'm giving them a chance to rest up before they wrestle Eddy Love for the title.
MP: Yeah baby, the owe you!
EL: Not like they have any chance of beating Eddy Love anyways. Now if you will excuse me, I am about to show them why they don't have a chance against me.
Eddy Love rushes the ring, he pounds on Martin, which draws heat from Flair. Flair hits Eddy with a chokeslam. Aho grabs Eddy and hits a DDT. Aho is then blindsided Hellfighter who lands a huge clothesline on him, sending him out to the outside. Flair grabs Martin and sends him to the outside. Flair goes over the top rope and proceeds to continue beating on Martin.
BS: Hellfighter wins! He is the only one left standing in the ring, what's this, Gemini gets in the ring.
Cue up: "Down in the Park" by Maryln Manson. Harders walks out from the back, microphone in hand.
RH: Hey, Hellfighter. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Gemini was never eliminated. If memory serves me right, which it always does, he was pulled out under the top rope by Kevin Powers. You still have to eliminate him!
BS: It looks as if Gemini is taking advantage of this by grabbing Hellfighter and dropping him with a sidewalk slam. He then grabs Hellfighter in a german suplex and sends him to the outside. Gemini wins!
BS: Eddy gets up and Gemini grabs him and throws him to the outside with a guerilla press.
RH: Oh, by the way, Eddy. I see your neck must have had a miraculous recovery. With your actions here and with what you have been saying about the talent in the Eddy Royal, well, you will be wrestling tonight in the prepared match. Like it or not, your wrestling!(Crowd pop)
MP: Yeah baby, what action!
BS: I thought you were bored?
MP: No way baby, I never said that.
BS: Well coming up next we've got the return of Michael Gettis back to the EWI and he's gonna go up against none other than Manifest Destiny member Nemesis.
MP: Oh this should be groovy baby. I think they might even light up a blunt before the match.
BS: Well we'll see cause that match is ......
[Suddenly the screen goes to static and is replaced with a black screen. On the screen images of Heatwave in Times Square can be seen as the two cops that did the cavity search on Gemini can be 'heard'.]
COP 1 - I don't think we should do a full body search. Could you 'really' trust a guy by the name of 'rastagod' enough to do a body cavity search in his ****?
COP 2 - uh...probably not. Let's do a straight search and leave it at that.
UNKNOWN VOICE THAT SOUNDS LIKE PAT BLACK - Who you talkin' about?
COP 1 - It's one of your guys, he's transporting drugs.
PB: I know of him, it's in his *****.
COP 1 - YOU KNOW OF HIM!
PB: Everyone KNOWS him. He knows you pigs...er cops, won't go that far.
COP 2 - looks like we go for the full body cavity search - thanks man.
[You hear footsteps walking away.]
PB: Never trust someone who could care less you stupid pigs.
BS V/O: Was that Pat Black? Folks we're gonna find out more about this after we come back!
BS: Welcome back everyone. Well Victoria has been trying to catch up with Black, but she hasn't found him yet.
MP: Oh I knew there was an indept history on those two, but I never thought it was like that.
BS: Anyways, let's get to our next match up, Nemisis vs Michael Gettis.
MP: You mean Nemisis is actually going to wrestle? Yeah baby!
(Cue up: "Down in the Park" by Maryln Manson. Harders steps out from behind the curtain, microphone in hand.)
RH: For all of you 'Big Time' Michael Gettis fans, I am so sorry to disappoint you, but he has failed to show up, show intrest, or even give us contact that he ever wanted to be in this federation. Therefore we have handed him his pinkslip.
Now I know what all of you are thinking. I know you feel he is a very intrincate part to this federation, but hell, we just couldn't put up with it anymore. Oh yeah, as for his opponent, Nemisis. He will not be given the automatic victory. Hell since he didn't show any intrest as well, I guess we could…oh say…..fine him. How does…hmmm…. Oh say 50,000 dollars sound to all of you.(Crowd Pop)
Now I know what you are saying Nemisis, how cruel can I be? Do you really want to find out? I will give you a bit of advice, don't try me. You can join good ole Gettis for all I care. Now let's get on with a real match! Well at least let's get to a pseudo match.
MP: Yeah baby, I knew Nemisis wouldn't let me down!
BS: What do you mean? He didn't even wrestle.
MP: I know, that's what I meant.
BS: Well coming up we've got Scott Stabb going against X-Con and that is NEXT!
MP: Yeah baby Triple X-Con!
BS: Oh wait. I'm getting word that.....let's take it to Victoria McCave.
MP: I would love to take it to Vickie.
[Cut to Victoria McCave in the parking lot behind the arena. She's holding her earpiece to get her cue. As soon as word comes, she starts.
VM: We've been given word that 'someone' is getting ready to enter the arena tonight. Word is that it IS NOT a current EWI wrestler but someone Co-Owner Zieba has been working on to get on the roster…
[From behind her, a 69 Chevy Truck pulls up. A paint job of perfection and engine running louder than most, no one can hear what Victoria is saying. You can see her trying to continue the report as she looks into the truck and see someone. As the door swings open and a blue jean covered pants leg steps out, the camera cuts back to the front.]
BS V/O: Folks we'll be right back!
BS: Welcome back folks to Black Ice. Coming up next we've got Scott Stabb, who is really making his debut here, against another debut in the form of X-Con.
MP: I heard that X-Con taught Lone Wulf the ropes while he was in the slammer.
BS: Oh please, let's get on with the evening, Scott Stabb vs X-Con. X-Con a promising rookie coming through the leagues.
MP: Oh goody, another groovy match.
Stabb comes out first to absolutely no pop. He is followed closely by X-Con to a huge heel pop. This was a quick match with X-Con dominating. He hit three sidewalk slams, a clothesline off the ropes, a big pile driver and then he hit a tombstone. He then followed it up with his finisher the Gas Chamber. Scott Stabb taps out quickly as he can not breath.
BS: X-Con looks to be a driving force in the EWI. This rookie seems to have the power and the bulk to back up whatever he says.
MP: He looked like a monkey on steriods baby! Not to mention he is uglier than your momma Sanders.
BS: Dammit man, why did you have to go and say that?
MP: Cause I wanted to get a rise out of you baby!
BS: First off you are not any plaboy bunny, second shut up and keep to the task at hand. Up next we got Jeffrey Roberts vs Lukaas Holden and that match will be next.
[The camera then cuts outside where Pat Black is standing up against a wall with 'Kermit'.]
BS V/O: Well it looks like that the cameras have caught up with Black. Hopefully Victoria can get there to ask some questions.
MP V/O: Well she better get on the job baby!
[Black notices the camera and is about to speak, but suddenly, from above, a pail of paint comes down and totally covers Black in red paint. As Black is trying to get the paint and the pail off of himself the cameras cut to up above where it looks like Gemini was the one who committed the act. As the cameras try to zoom in on him he takes off running letting out an eerie sound of laughter.]
BS V/O: Well it seems that Gemini got some revenge on Black for that incident from Times Square. We'll be back folks!
BS: Welcome back everyone. Well during the break we found out that it couldn't of been Gemini that poured that paint on Black because he was with Victoria McCave in the back the entire time reviewing the tape everyone saw earlier.
MP: So he's got a witness. Gemini is really two people baby. Maybe one was with Vickie and the other was getting back at Black.
BS: You're kidding right?
MP: Well you never know!
BS: I'm not even going to respond to that. Coming up next we've got the debut of NthWA star Jeffery Roberts and he'll be facing off against Lukass Holden.
MP: I like this Roberts character. He should take this match with no worries.
BS: Let's go to ringside.
Roberts came out and used his speed to his advantage. He sweeps the leg of Holden, sending him sprawling on his face. He followed it up with several boots to the head, and a 450 splash off the top rope. He picks him up and sent him back to the mat with a tilt a whirl back breaker. He followed it up with a STF, although the larger Holden not giving up. Roberts let go and without hesitation picked up Holden and set him up with a running liger bomb. He then followed it up with the Shooting Star Guillotine and the cover for the three count.
BS: Roberts came out tonight and completely manhandled the unimpressive Holden with his speed and technical abilities.
MP: Yeah baby! Holden just plan sucked….(laughs) That's what she said!
BS: In fact, I just got confirmation from the back that Mr. Harders and Mr. Zieba have in fact fired Lukaas Holden.
MP: Come on Bret, let's be politically correct now, he has been released from his contract baby!
BS: Anyways, let's see some more action from one of the best in the business in the Maestro versus an up and comer Brian Schwartz.
MP: You got to root for the Blair, especially since he is in cohoots with the man Eddy!
BS: Oh lordy!