Future Novelists... These are actual analogies and metaphors found in
high school essays:
-
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides
gently compressed by a thigh master.
-
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
-
He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who
went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking
about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it.
-
She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
-
She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just
before he throws up.
-
Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever.
-
He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree.
-
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because
of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge free ATM.
-
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.
-
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled
with vegetable soup.
-
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.
-
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
-
The hailstones leaped up off the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.
-
Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, on having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at
55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
-
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
resemble Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
-
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.
-
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east
river.
-
Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
-
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
-
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work.
-
Young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a
while.
-
"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college
freshman on $1-a-beer night.
-
She was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine
or something.
-
The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
-
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power
tools.
-
He was deeply in love when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up.
-
She was as easy as the TV guide crossword.
-
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any
pH cleanser.
-
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
-
Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal
paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.
-
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
the wall.
