Boothby Graffoe interview

This interview was conducted through e-mail, and received back on the 12th of September 2000.


What is it like to travel the world as a comedian?
To be honest it all depends on the airline. The being there is better than the travelling

What was your favourite moment in Australia this year?
Standing backstage at the fringe club in melbourne listening to Stewart Lee on stage talking about the aftermath of the death of Princess Diana. I was laughing uncontrollably and it was hurting me so I went down the stairs and hid in the dressing room with the door closed so I couldn't hear him anymore, but the door didn't close properly and I could still hear him and ow ow ow. I laughed so hard I thought my heart was going to stop. Someone took a photograph. I was lying curled up on the floor, holding my sides which had long since split, and crying.

Do you eat leaves often?
I let the animals eat the leaves. Then I eat the animals.

What do you see as the main differences between England and Australia?
Is this a trick question?

How was your very last gig in Australia (Mandurah, WA)?
Didn't do it. My wife got sick back in England so I dumped the tour a week or so early. I think the last one I did was Kalgoolie or some such place, I dunno, maybe in the middle. Didn't like the middle bit much. Too close to the realities of what is actually taking place. More tea, dear? Tiffin?
[I'd just like to point out here that I was at the Mandurah show & Boothby was there, he just doesn't remember it. They told us that it was his final show and he was flying back to England the next day.]

What has been the most interesting moment of your life?
So far? This bit, right now as the clock says five past three. But I have a very poor memory, short term especially. Large parts of my life are spent staring into nothing suddenly for varying lengths of time. I have to walk with wet clothes to a laundrette in a moment. The most interesting moment of my life? I'd say, so far, this bit. As the clock says ten to four.

What is your favourite song that you sing?
There's a song called Far Too Serious which was written by a man called Sydney Meats. I don't sing it very often in public and when I do I usually bottle it but it's nice. And there's a Bob Dylan song, Hazel, I like that a lot, too. Sydney Meats is also known in some parts of the world for being the inventor of The Partial Trouser, a kind of sawn off jeans with the sawn off bits attached below the knee with suspenders. Cher wore something not entirely similar in her video for Turn Back Time. Syd and me rand Cher's manager in los angeles and asked her if her client was aware that she was wearing Partial Trousers. "She isn't wearing partial trousers!" says the lady in America. It's on tape somewhere.

What was your favourite television appearance in Australia this year?
I made a brief but meaningful appearance on ABC news. As the reporter pointed to the river you could just see the back of my left ankle near the fat woman who was eating the gherkin. And now back to the studio.

Who, celebrity wise, do you most relate to and why?
Daffy Duck. Because I am a duck.

What were you thinking at the time you did your first thing on stage?
Er...can't be certain, but, I think it may have been "Oh no. I've weed my knickers..." On stage? Oh, on stage. I'm sorry. I thought it said most recent sexual experience.

Tell us about Springy Ninjas.
Talk to Ross Noble, that was his muse. I just went along with it in an attempt to look trendy.

What do you like most about rabbits?
The taste.

When do you plan on returning to Australia?
As soon as I've mustered enough troops.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Using this! (produces something) I intend to take over the world! (strokes cat) Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha you get the picture Ha Ha Ha etc. Cut to distant steamer dropping below horizon. Close up Boothby in water keeping afloat by holding on to an albatross. The albatross screams very loudly in his ear and pecks his face.

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