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THE LITTLE DUTCH BOY TODAY

The Way it Would Be Now

Copyright © 1999 By Jim Nantz

We've all at one time or another heard the story about the little Dutch boy. He found a hole in a dike and put his finger in there to plug the leak. He stayed out all night until help arrived in the morning.

Here's how the story would go if it happened today.

A little boy was walking down a country road next to the dike. Just when he was ready to turn around and go home he saw a leak in the dike. He didn't know what else to do so he put his finger in the hole and stopped the leak until the next morning when a local farmer came out to plant his tulips and saw the boy. He picked up his cell phone and called 911. Within minutes the police arrived and took the little boy to the local offices of the Child Protective Services. They brought in a doctor who examined the boy and determined the only thing he needed was some sleep.

After the doctor left the CPS investigators interrogated the boy for six and one half hours. When they finished the interrogation they sent the boy to one of their shrinks who determined the boy was the victim of child abuse since he endured the cold, damp conditions all night rather than going home. Armed with the report a CPS caseworker went to the local judge and filed charges of felony child abuse against the parents. That same afternoon they were arrested and bail was set at $3 million each.

Meanwhile the farmer was concerned with the leaking dike. Not only was he afraid it would burst, but the salt water would kill his crops. He called the dike repair people, they came out and examined the dike and told him they couldn't fix it until they finished a two week environmental impact study; then they left. The farmer went back to the barn and got a gas powered pump and enough hose so he could throw it over the dike. He set everything up, started the pump and watched it pump away the water.

While the little boy was with the shrink; a carload of EPA agents arrived at the farm. They confiscated the farmer's pump, and hose and arrested him for potentially causing harm to the environment and not waiting for the environmental impact study. His bail was $100,000 and when his trail concluded he got 5 years with no parole. The parents of the little boy were also convicted and they each got life without parole.

While the trails were going on Sara Brady found out what had happened and reacted by calling a press conference and announcing she was founding "Pump And Hose Control Inc." She said her organization didn't want to take sump pumps away from law-abiding citizens, that she just wanted to stop the unrestrained harm to the environment.

Not long after the trials had ended the dike burst. Farms, villages and homes were swept away and hundreds were killed. Immediately the government charged the contractor who built the dike and the cement company that supplied the concrete for the dike with felony negligence. The lawyers didn't waste any time either. They filed civil suits against the contractor and the cement company asking for damages in the amount of $6 billion from each company. Eventually both companies were forced into bankruptcy and 5,000 people lost their jobs.

[And that's the way it would go today. -RT]


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