Psykosis

My mind is stumbling to try and find something to say.
I'm more comfortable in chaos so, please, forgive me.
This orderly psykosis is meant to save the day
But I've just lost the best dream I ever had.
The more I try to remember, the more I forget;
My haphephobia is such a guilty excuse
but it actually is valid.
400 year olds, steel Swords, hot bounty hunters,
Have I lost hold of this structured insanity?