PS: I had to actually do some research for this one!
(scene starts will Big Bird walking along and bumping into JC and Chris)
Big Bird: "Oh, hi!"
Chris: Uh, hi. I think we're lost...
JC: Yeah, definitely lost.
Chris: We were trying to go Shirley's Steakhouse...and I think we made a wrong turn.
JC: We lost our friends (Big Bird is listening intently)...and we're talking to a big yellow bird.
Big Bird: "You're lost. I hate when I get lost. When I get lost I don't talk to any strangers."
Chris: (turns to JC with wide eyes then turns back to Big Bird) Uh, like you are right now?
Big Bird: "No, like you are right now. You're lost and I'm a stranger."
JC: We gotta go now...(pulls Chris by the sleeve)
Big Bird: (turns to the guys walking away and waves)
***
(Lance and Justin get up, rubbing their heads. Both look down and notice that they are surrounded by garbage cans and bags of filth. Rustling is heard from one of the cans and out pops an unidentifiable green creature with a scowl.)
Oscar the Grouch: "I see I have visitors."
Lance: (takes a step back) Who are you?...What are you?
Oscar: "I should be asking you the same thing! You're in my garbage!"
(Justin and Lance gladly step out of it.)
Justin: (looks to Lance) Where are we?
Ocsar: "You don't know where you are?? Everyone knows this place! What kind of a childhood did you lead!?"
Lance: Hey...you...ugly green thing! Don't talk that way to us!
Oscar: (rests his head in his hand and drums his fingers on the side of the can) "You mean to tell me...you don't who I am...you don't know where you are....you have no clue?"
***
(Justin and Lance look at each other then back at Oscar and nod their heads.)
(Joey wakes up next to a street sign and looks over, startled to find a little fuzzy red creature staring at him.)
Elmo: "Ooooh! You're awake! Elmo was worried!"
Joey: Elmo? (Joey rubs his head and looks up at the sky) Aren't you a doll or something?
Elmo: (giggles) "Awww. You don't have to call Elmo a doll! Elmo blushes when he gets compliments!"
Joey: (stands and looks at the street sign) Se...Seasme Street? (ponders the name)
Elmo: "Yep! Elmo lives on Sesame Street!"
Joey: (looks down at Elmo) Oh, well, Joey...I mean...I live in Orlando.
Elmo: (giggles) "Elmo likes Orlando!"
Joey: (Raises his eyebrows) You've been there?
Elmo: "No! But Elmo has a friend named Orlando!"
***
JC: Ok, ok...let's retrace our steps...we were...
Chris: In the car...turning left onto Boresville Drive...then...
JC: We ran over roadkill...
Chris: No! No! That has nothing to do with it...Right?
JC: (shrugs and gives wide eyes)
"Uh, exuse me." (both turn at the sound of the voice) "Yeah, hi. You're kind of in the way. We're about to sing a song here."
JC: Okay...we're in some sort of psycho animal kindgom! (Backs away)
Kermit the Frog: "Uh, no. You're on Sesame Street. My name is Kermit the Frog."
Chris: Sesame Street!? Oh! (smiles and nods turning to JC. Then he turns back to Kermit the Frog with a frown) What's Sesame Street?
***
Justin: For the 40th time...no, we don't know anything about Sesame Street! (turns to Lance) I'm leavin'...
Ocsar: "Don't come knocking on my can when your lost and alone!" (ducks inside and Lance and Justin are left alone)
Lance: How did we get here?
Justin: We were drivin'...and we made a turn...(his eyes widen and he turns and grips Lance by the shoulders) You don't think we got into a car accident do you?? IS THIS HELL???
***
Joey: Uh, can you tell me how to get outta here?
Elmo: "Hmmm." (thinks) "No. People usually wanna know how to get to Sesame Street."
Joey: Why?
Elmo: (shrugs)
Joey: Is there good clubs here?
Elmo: "Clubs? Elmo joined the Number Club! Elmo can count to ten in Spanish now! Uno...dos..."
***
(Kermit and the other muppets, which include Bert and Ernie, Cookie Monster, The Count, Snuffy, Herry Monster, Zoe and some others, in the song number stop in their tracks and look at Chris and JC.)
Kermit: "You're not from around here, are ya?"
Chris: That's what we've been saying!
Kermit: (stares at them and blinks)"Are you from Gullah Gullah Island or something?"
JC: What?
Kermit: "Or Blues Clues? You kinda look like that guy..."
Chris: No, no! We're from Orlando!
Kermit and ther others: "OHHH, ORLANDO!" (Kermit smiles and nods, then looks back at the others) "What's Orlando?"
***
Justin: Oh man. We're gonna be stuck here forever. I won't get to sing. I won't get to buy another car. I won't get to marry a super model.
Lance: JUSTIN! Snap out of it! We're gonna get outta here...once we find the others...BESIDES, I think I saw some eight year old girls around the corner. They're about the age of your fans! You can just restart your life here--
Justin: It isn't the same! (raises hands to sky) Why? WHY!? Why does this happen to good people? ***
Chris: Um...yeah. Just direct us to the nearest Star gas station and we'll be--
Kermit: "Hey do you guys sing?"
Chris: (pushes JC forward) He was on the MMC!
JC: No I wasn't! (pushes Chris forwards) He played Oliver! He sings!
Kermit: "We need an extra couple of vocals in this number." (turns to his group then back at the guys) "Piggy's missing."
***
"Laaaalaaaaa....hmmmlaaaalaaaAAA...."
Justin: What is that gawd awful noise!? (Justin is still pouty)
"GAWD AWFUL!? I will have you know I am the star of the next song number, thankyou very much!"
Lance: You look familiar! (points to muppet)Weren't you in that movie Babe?
Miss Piggy: (gasps) "How dare you mistake me, Miss Piggy, for a pudgy, fuzzy headed oinker!"
Lance: (backs up with hands raised) Sorry.
Miss Piggy: "Hmmph. I have to go see Kermie now. Good day." (leaves)
Justin: That was weird.
Lance: Yeah, but dude she totally looked like that pig from Babe.
(Justin looks at Lance and shakes his head in confusion.)
***
(Joey resorts to walking with Elmo as he recites 1-10 in Japanese, Spanish, French, and sign language. They come across Kermit and some other muppets, along with Chris and JC!)
Joey: CHRIS! JC!
JC and Chris: (turn at the same time) JOEY!
***
Justin: (sobs) May as well follow the damn pig. (Slumps his shoulders as he grudgingly follows). ***
Elmo: "Oh! Joey found his friends!"
Joey: Oh, yeah. (indicates to Elmo and mumbles) Guys this is Elmo...Elmo this is the guys...
JC: HEY! I know you!
Elmo: "You do!" (acts excited)
JC: Yeah! Aren't you one of those little guys from Star Wars?
Chris: (sighs) No, JC. He's NOT an Ewok! He's one of the Dr. Suess characters!
(an appalled gasp is heard from behind and all look to face an angry Miss Piggy)
Miss Piggy: "Was the song about to start without moi!"
Kermit: "Piggy...you were missing--"
Miss Piggy: "I was warming up!"
JC: Hey, by all means. (steps back and bows towards his spot) Take my spot.
Miss Piggy: "Hmph! You mean...have your spot back!"
JC: Yeah, okay.
Chris: Man, we gotta get outta here.
Joey: Not without Justin or...LANCE! (Joey suddenly cries out and points) IT'S JUSTIN AND LANCE!
(They all reunite and bombard eachother with who-what-where-when-how questions. The muppets just watch, their mouths open.)
Miss Piggy: "Can we get on with this?"
Kermit: "No, Piggy. I think these guys need our help."
Joey: You'll help us?
Chris: Go home?
Kermit: "Well...no. Once you come to Sesame Street, you're pretty much stuck here. But we can help you get the dance moves down."
Lance: For what?
A random muppet: "For the song number!...stupid."
Lance: Hey!
Justin: (slumps his shoulders) Singing...dancing...it's what we used to do...
JC: Get a grip Justin. We still do those things. You're talkin' like we're dead.
Justin: But it's hopeless! We're stuck!
(Pouts and sits down, placing his head in his hands.)
Chris: Man, I've never seen Justin act this way before. He's taking it really hard.
Joey: Y-Ya know, Justin. It may not be so bad here. We could build our success and popularity here...(glances back) That Piggy could be the Britney Spears of our opening act. It will great. I mean...think about it.
Justin: (looks up at Joey slowly) I am.
Grover (comes out from nowhere): "I know!" (scurries away and comes back with a fellow muppet) "He's a magician! He can help you!"
Justin: (jumps up) "Can ya...can ya really!?"
The magician muppet (I forget his name. Sue me.): "Sure I can." (clears his throat and waves his magic wand) "Alla peanut butter and jelly sandwhich!" *POOF* of smoke appears.
JC: What happened?
Lance: (waves the smoke out of his face) I don't know.
(the smoke clears and the guys are left standing...right where they were. Muppets and all.)
Chris: It didn't work!
Joey: Ooo! A sandwhich! (picks it up and starts to happily eat the magicians magic trick)
JC: (sighs) It's no use.
Justin: We're here...
Lance: Forever.
Chris: Until the end of time.
Joey: (with a full mouth) For all eternity.
JC: Until our dying days...
Kermit: "Oh somebody please tell them to stop!"
Grover: (approaches the guys and puts his arm around JC) "Uh, this may sound a little odd...but we're not quite that melodramatic here. You may wanna find another show to get stuck in. I hear Nickelodeon is looking for some people."
JC: What!?
Chris: We've been fired!
Joey: From a gig we didn't know we had!
Lance: This gets weirder and weirder...
Justin: ANOTHER SHOW?! But he (points to Kermit) said we're stuck he--
Grover: "Shh...Keep it down." (turns to see if the other muppets have gone back to their chatting and singing) "Listen. There is one way to get outta here." (All the guys huddle over by Grover)
Justin: Then why do they keep people here?!
Grover: "You can imagine we don't get many visitors. See those kids over there?" (nods to the side with his head)
(All the guys turn to see a few kids playing on the park then back at Grover.)
Grover: "Go ahead. Look at them some more. Watch them play."
(Furrowing their eyebrows and shrugging to eachother, the guys turn to watch.)
JC: (gasps) They're not moving!
Grover: "That's right. Card board cut-outs. Kermit's idea...about a year ago." (shakes head sadly)
Joey: Now it makes ya kinda wanna stay...I kinda feel bad for these guys...
Justin: OH NO IT DOESN'T! What's the game plan Bluey.
Grover: "Name's Grover."
Justin: Sorry.
Grover: "Alright. Only way to get outta Sesame Street is to ...play along."
Lance: What?
Grover: "You heard me. You play along. Ya sing, ya dance... you talk to us muppets like we're your best friends. Next thing ya know, you'll be announcing a number and letter today that the show was brought to the viewers...and bam-back to your own world ya go!"
JC: (shrugs) Sounds easy enough.
Lance: When do we start?
Grover: "...Now."
***
Elmo: "Wanna count up to ten with Elmo in Spanish?"
Joey: "Sure Elmo!" (Together they start counting)
(Lance approaches)
Lance: "What language is that that you're counting in guys?"
Joey: "Spanish. Up to ten! Wanna try! It's easy!"
Elmo: "If Elmo can learn, anybody can!"
***
"Why do birds suddenly appear...everytime...you are near..." (Kermit looks at Justin who smiles and finshes the verse)
Justin: "Just like me ...they long to be..." (Justin looks at Miss Piggy who smiles and finishes the song)
Miss Piggy: "Close to YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....!!"
(Justin covers his ears and ducks) "God, she was the solo singer. She's terrible..."
Miss Piggy: (jumps up) "WHAT!?" (starts hitting Justin in the head with her parasol) "Terrible! Argh! Kermie are you gonna let him talk to me that way?!"
***
Big Bird: "It's sure been fun watching Juanita and Korin make those chocolate chip cookies."
Cookie Monster: (pops up) "Coooookies??"
JC: (points behind them) "Right over there, Cookie Monster. I think they may have a few left!"
(Big Bird and JC look at each other and smile and laugh, holding up the bag of cookies)
***
Lance: "Today was brought to you by the number 10--"
Joey: "In Spanish!"
Justin: "And by the letters N..."
JC: "S."
Chris: "Y."
Joey: "N."
Lance: "C!!"
Justin and JC: "Seeya real soon!"
(Chris, Lance and Joey look at them with dirty looks.)
Chris: Dude, that's Mickey Mouse Club...this is Sesame Street!
Justin: W-well...He said C! I-I just started...it just all came back and...Oh, I'm a failure! (dramatically places head in hands and shakes his head)
JC: It's okay, Justin. (places hand on friend's shoulder) We just need to go back for more therapy is all.
Lance: (sighs) "Anyway...thanks for tuning in!"
Chris: "Yeah...thanks...it was...fun...well, not really but you know what I mean!"
The ending credits song begins to play as the guys focus their attention on Justin. Joey just waves good bye repeatedly.
***
Chris: Is it over? (looks around him)
Lance: I think so...hey!
Joey: We're back home!
Justin: We're in Shirley's Steakhouse anyway...
JC: Wow! It worked!
Chris: Remind Johnny not to book us on any kid's shows...
Justin: EVER! (all the guys laugh lightly)
(A fan's cry is heard from behind) OMIGOD! It's really you! (bounces up to the table) Can I pleeeeeaaase have your autographs?!
JC: (smiles) Things haven't changed (he comments as he signs the paper and begins to pass it on)
Fan: OMIGOD! Ever since that episode of Sesame Street I happened to catch--while babysitting of course--like I'd ever watch that show on my own! (she laughs at herself) But anyway-ever since you guys were on Sesame Street...(the rest of the fan's babbling is drowned out as all the guys look at each other, wide-eyed and speechless)
***
Fin!
