(or be Frightened...) Here we go again! Another interview with the foxy guys of *NSYNC. **WARNING: CONTAINS SOME ADULT CONTENT. MINORS NOT WELCOME!(whether you're a minor and still read on, I can't help that. But I still gotta put the warning in)
(They all sit down at the same couches as before.)
Jay: Thanks for letting us hang with you guys again.
Joey: As long as this time you're nicer to me.
(Mandie and Amie walk in)
Jay: Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you, two more people will be here today. This is Amie and Mandie.
(They both bypass Joey and go to Chris and Lance. Amie starts talking with Chris as Mandie drools over Lance while attempting verbal speech.)
Joey: Hey!
Jay: At least it wasn't me...hey, where's Candi, Justin, and JC?
Candi: (walks in, as she tucks in her shirt) I'm here. Dang, Jay. You don't think I'd miss the interview, do you?
(Justin walked in shortly after zipping up his fly. JC trails in last smoothing back his hair)
Candi: (sits as JC and Justin sit on either side of her.) Who are they? (nods toward Mandie and Amie)
Jay: They've come to see us in action.
(Justin whispers something in Candi's ear and she giggles)
Jay: OK! Let's get this show on the road!
Joey: Are we having more Type B questions?
Jay: What would an interview be without them?
(Mandie skoots in next to Lance and Amie seats her self next to Chris.)
Chris: Well, let's get started.
Jay: (reaches into jacket pocket to get out questions) Ok, number one. This one is for Lance. (turns to Lance) If you were to let, someone...say, like ME...lick something off you, what would you prefer, canned whip cream or ooy gooy carmel.
Justin: (laughs) Oh, that's a great question!
Joey: I can answer it.
Jay: Joey, once again...when we direct the questions to you, we'll let you know. So...Lance?
Mandie: Or canned marshmellow fluff?
Jay: Mandie, that wasn't an option.
Mandie: (shrugs) He may want it to be one.
Lance: Um.
Jay: Please, Mandie. Leave the questions to me and Candi.
Lance: Well, I...
Mandie: Fine. But if he answers canned marshmellow fluff--
Candi: Hey, just let Lance answer!
Jay: (nods)
Lance: Hm...well, I guess I have to answer now...
Candi: Well, we're all dying to know.
Joey: Oh, can I please answer this one?!
Jay: (sighs) Sure.
Joey: I would say all of the above!
Mandie: (laughs) Even canned marshmellow fluff?
Joey: (leans forward and gives Mandie a flirtatious look) Especially canned marshmellow fluff.
Mandie: (smiles) Oh.
Candi: This question is taking too long. We'll come back to it. Next question. This one is for Chris. (Chris perks up) Do you think you had more sex appeal when you had your braids, or now without.
Chris: (thinks) I think I have a new kind of sex appeal now. The new-improved sex appeal.
Candi: Ah, nice answer. Perhaps we can test that one out sometime. (smiles)
(JC and Justin give her semi-hurt looks)
Chris: Uh...(laughs shortly)
Amie: Back off, Candi. If anyone is to test Chris' anything...it's me.
Candi: (sits back) Okay. (smiles at Justin and JC)
Jay: Next question--
Mandie: Why ask questions? (drapes legs over Lance's lap and smiles up at Lance) We learn more by simple actions.
Jay: That's right. (pushes Mandie's legs off) But we like our questions. If you can't control your hormones, Mandie, like me and Candi (looks at Candi who is flirting outrageously with Justin and JC at the same time)...well, ME anyway...then...GO SIT BY JOEY! (Joey looks a bit offended)
Candi: Oh, Jay. Stop getting jealous.
Jay: Go back to your flirting, Candi. When Joey gets too needy, we'll sick you on him.
Candi: (laughs) Yeah, ok.
Lance: (in a deep soothing sexy voice) Girls, girls. No need to fight. I got plenty of Lance lovin' to go 'round.
(all the girls, even Amie took her eyes off Chris, stare at Lance with their mouths open in shock of what he just said)
Candi: Wow, Lance. That's...
Lance: (sighs and sits back placing his hands behind his head) I love when I have that effect on woman.
JC: Yeah. Actually Lance does that a lot less than he could. He has a way over females...and males too sometimes, only he doesn't neccessarily aim for that one... (JC ponders that)
Justin: Damn, if my package weren't so big to make up for my lack of charm, I would be jealous of him!
Candi: Well, then. Where were we? Questions? Yes. (pulls herself together)
Jay: This one is for (looks around to pick which one)...JC I guess. What do you really think of Carson Daly?
JC: Carson...? (JC sits back and lays his arms out on the back of the couch, pondering)
Chris: (sits back) I ain't touchin' that one with a six foot pole...
Jay: (sighs and looks at Candi) It is just me or is this interview draggin'...
Candi: I guess, but-
JC: CARSON (JC starts of drastically, sitting up and rubbing his chin, in his own little world) is Carson. He is neither here, nor there.
(Jay's mouth drops and she stands shaking her head, shoulders shrugging. She looks at the others.)
Jay: What the hell is he talking about?
Joey: Carson.
Candi: Jay, it's ok. Sit. He's only trying to be poetic about the matter.
Chris: Let him. It covers up the mean stuff.
Jay: (sits back down) So you don't really like Cars--
Justin: NO ONE SAID THAT!
Lance: (sits up) No, no. Carson-we like Carson.
Joey: It's just that he--
Justin: Can get real clingy at parties. Ya know. Like... he hangs around us to get chicks because ya know, (Justin smirks and sits back) we are *NSYNC.
Lance: Not that being *NSYNC has changed us. We're still the same ol' guys who... um... well we're the same ol' guys!
Amie: (rolls eyes) Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Chris: (looks at her) We are!
(Candi, Jay, and Mandie laugh)
(Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance all look at them, their eyebrows furrowing.)
Joey: What's so funny?
Candi: *The same ol' guys with two sparkling new cars, one of which is a Mercedes (she directs towards Justin), a new house, with rooms that have themes no less and a personal lake in the backyard, using your fame to get chicks...in bed... and taking big bucks for teenie bopper parties and selling out to fast food commercials.
Jay: *Not to mention a movie with partial promise.
(The guys just stare at them and blink. A cricket is heard in the background.)
Chris: What's your point?
(Candi and Jay look at each other and shrug)
Jay: There wasn't one.
Amie: I say we get the hell outta here. Come on Chris. Let's ditch these guys and grab some pizza!
Joey: Hey, I'm all for that!
Justin: Yeah, pizza sounds good...
(Amie gets up, pulling Chris along, followed by Joey and Justin) Jay: (stands as the four leave) WAIT! We're not done yet! (slumps back in her seat) That's the last time I invite her along.
Candi: Jay... look at the bright side...JC and lance are still here.
Jay: (smiles and nods) You got a point--(stops short when she looks over and find Mandie getting up and trying to pull Lance with her.)
Jay: Oh, heeeeellls no. (Pulls Lance back as he flops on the couch. Mandie's mouth drops)
Mandie: Don't be greedy! (Mandie whines)
Jay: I'm merely saving Lance the time of having to reject you.
(Mandie's eyes widen and her mouth drops. Candi begins to laugh hard.)
JC: Where's the popcorn. A fight's about to break out...
Mandie: (places hands on hips) FINE! (huffs and walks over to JC, yanks him up and storms out)
Candi: (her laughter stops abruptly) Oh no she didn't. No she didn't just take off with JC.
(Jay and Lance nod. Candi storms out after them.)
Jay: (smiles to herself and sits down) Ha! This all worked out to my benefit. I'm feelin' pretty good right now.
Lance: Ya think fame has really changed us?
Jay: Is cotton white?
Lance: (gives her a funny look) Are you talking about underwear?
Jay: Heh?? (looks around the room then back at Lance) NO!
Lance: You weren't...Does that mean I'm not gonna get to see them?
Jay: See what?
Lance: Your underwear?
Jay: ~~Let's go get some pizza with the others.(stands and starts to walk out)
Lance: (stands and follows her out the door) Then can I see 'em?
(In the distance) 'Maybe.' 'Maybe...is that more a yes-maybe or no-maybe...'
*NOTE: I do NOT want to get email on any of this being as it is on a humor site. The guys can use their money any way they desire and are fortunate enough to have their fame. I AM going to see their movie when it comes out so...if any of this offended you then... oh well.
~~NOTE: In the real world I think I would be less unaccepting of Lance's idea, but for this parody...it isn't so.
