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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN IN ONE PARAGRAPH
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A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman
is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the
woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man
immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the
next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
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Jack and Jill from Notting Hill
Bought E's from a dodgy importer.
Jack got stoned,
While Jill bemoaned
Her lack of a pail of water.
Oi, oi black cab Have you any space?
No guv, no guv, I don't like your face.
I might change my mind, sir,
If you were a dame,
But I don't take little boys
To Coldharbour Lane.
Humpty Dumpty followed Millwall
Humpty Dumpty got in a brawl
Nicked a 'kin' car from outside a shop
And got put away for assaulting a cop.
This little piggy went to market
This little piggy bought a jacket
This little piggy was swindled
This little piggy said "Fack it"
But the stallholder just went hee, hee, hee All the way home.
Little Jack Horner Sat at Staples Corner
Stuck in a non-moving lane
He rolled down his windows
And held up two fingers
Regretting not taking the train.
I had a little nut tree
Nothing would it bear
Because the local vagrants
Urinated there
Tramps from every quarter
Came to visit me
Just for a pee
Behind my little tree.
Three blind drunks Three blind drunks
See how they curse See how they curse
They ogled after the barmaid's arse
Her dad cut them up with a broken glass
A common occurrence to come to pass
In London life.
Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
Every time the lamb got out
Her doggy tried to put it back again.
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The following are new Windows messages that are under
consideration for the planned Windows 2000:
1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
6. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
7. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off."
8. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN"
9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
10. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
12. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
13. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
14. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
15. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
16. User Error: Replace user.
17. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
18. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.
19. User Error: Intelligence Resource Level Insufficient
20. Netscape.exe... Bad file name… May we suggest M/S Internet Explorer? (Y/y)
