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Inward Journeys

Finding out whats outside, might not be all there is.

Six years ago I came face to face with myself. Something I had no idea how to do... it just happened. I came to grips with the fact that the face and body I see everyday in the mirror, is not the one I have of myself in my mind. The mirror portrayed to me and to all that knew me, a depressed woman spinning circles in life, searching for something but not knowing what it was. Going out to parties all night, drinking, driving.. trying to die. The picture of me I saw was different. I saw a young man in his teens living it up, I had the women the sports car,but never stopped to realize I didn't have the right body. Not knowing that there was anything I could do about it other than see a shrink and hope it gets better was the worst feeling. I write this page in hopes someone will read it and learn... there's alot that you CAN do.

I got lucky i guess.. or maybe it was fate but a friend I met in my late teens led me in the proper direction. Showed me support, friendship, and introduced me to other "men" like me. Now six years later when I look in the mirror I am closer than ever to who I am inside, on the outside.And forever grateful to those who helped me, and forever sorry for those I stepped on in the process

This isn't my first web page....I have circulated webpages before.. done the flashy shiny.. YES I know who I am now pages..Done the here's me and my spouse pages...This is my first real here's how it really went page.

I had been so far in the community it was all I knew... Then took a step back for a year or ok now that I think about it two years.. I have grown alot through this whole experience, found myself, my spiritual path, my sanity, and well my inner peace. Gone through relationships,suffered huge loss ( I lost my son two years ago this November, along with my two grandfathers within weeks of each other) Not a good year in that way but a good year for growing.

When I got over the grief I learned more about living than I had ever had. Buckled down got to work on myself, and for the first time in my life put me first. Got on T a little over a year ago last April to be exact, Got the name change, gender change, life change I had been stalling on for years. Now all I feel I have left to do is get rid of this darn chest issue. That is a goal only money and time hinder me on now.

I guess I left out my family, prolly cause i got the easy end of the stick. I told my Mom last christmas in a heated argument about knowing each other. Six short weeks later I recieved a package containing info about transition... awwwwww how sweet. Doing well on name issues still with the I told dad later that week... he just asked if I was sure this was the right thing for me. Then supported my decision ever since. As a matter of fact I came out to visit him for the summer and decided to stay, so he put me and my g/f and our girl up in his basement apartment, and will help me take care of her while I am gone. Which leads me to my next paragraph.....

Now I start on a new Journey, a new path. I finally found someone who can understand me for me. I consider myself Bisexual (ok that right there is hard enuff to deal with) and a nomad (I like to move/travel)And have suddenly decided the next thing I want to do in my life is something I had been afraid to do before because i was afraid to be myself... don't laugh its just one of those things I always wanted to try... In two weeks I start training to be a Semi driver. While talking to a few companies I decided to just be secure with myself and explain the situation about how uncomfortable I would feel team driving for a year with a guy... *rape* always comes to mind. One company told me tough s****, very very depressing I thought, the other one whom I start with next week told me thanks for being honest its not the first time we've seen this we will make special accomodations to make sure nothing happens. Ahhhhhhhh refreshing. However my G/F will have to endure alot without me, she has agreed to let me do this for at least a year... a trial thing. I will miss her and our little girl as well. Looking back over this page I realized I forgot to introduce myself.. and in dear of having to re write this whole thing over I suppose I will do that now. My Name is Mikal, I am now currently in the DC Metro area.

Click here to see a visual of the changes I have gone thru.. pre T and Post T
Photographic Timeline

Please If you wish to add me to your buddy list on AOL my screename is Dolphinseablue. Wish to email me my email addie is or click the link to that addie at the bottom when I get it busy busy busy week.

p.s: If there are any guys out there who are interested in team driving, or who are already out driving please send me a message. I'd like to know of any Community out there.