Mandate of Foamy
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For those of you who don't know who Foamy is, you might as well kill yourself right here and now.  Foamy is a squirrel from an online cartoon site.  My friend Bryan and I created these Foamy-isms dedicated to his greatness.

Enjoi!

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He that annoyeth thy comrade, shalt be slapped with a stick of cheese.

bulletThou must love the "Suicide Song" as greatly a thou loves thine own mother.
bulletHe who poppeth the pills, shalt haveth no friends.
bulletHe who wishes to liveth as long and joyful as thine Lord and Master shalt have the bagel with the creamy, creamy, cheesy, cheesy, creamy cheese.  Myne words cannot stress this enough.
bulletThy shall riseth up and deliver thine squirrel to yonder bagel shop to receive the creamy, creamy. cheesy, cheesy, creamy cheese.
bulletIf thou is annoyed by comrade, yet hath no stick of cheese, thou shalt resort to some f**king heavy nut tossing.
bulletHe who does not bathe, is a terrorist.
bulletHe who hath openly mocked thine Lord and Master, shalt have children, only to have them smite down, then their remains shalt be shovethed down thine throat.
bulletHe who desires to taketh thine own life, shalt be mocked to myne heart's content.
bulletHe who desires to have some meaning in thine life, shalt join and attempt to understand the importance of His way.
bulletThou shalt freeth thy mind from the matrix but not to attempt any crazy, slow motion kung fu sh*t.
bulletThou shalt keepeth an eye out for new episodes spreading the word of the Lord and Master.
bulletPidgey, Pidgey, Pidgey,... Po-Ta-To!
bulletHe who poppeth the pills, must inquire to the effects and therefore must poppeth more pills to preventeth the Death.
bulletIf thou listen to "Every Rose has its Thorn", thou art obligated to breaketh thine CD and slit thine wrists with the broken pieces.
bulletThine Lord and Master loves and protects thine way of life, therefore thou art obligated to follow His word and in return thou shalt be accepted unto His divine vision.
bulletIf thou cometh across a wallet, thou shalt consult the Powers that Be.
bulletMedication for all those whoever wish for it or need it.
bulletIf thou use the internet through the via-web, by satellite, delivered by camel, whilst in a cave, thou art most definitely a terrorist.
bulletAny child who whineths in a house that serveth the food, thine child's birthgivers shalt but smacketh the whining out of him.
bulletHe who taketh McDonalds to court for making people fat, thou art obliged to speaketh "Yes, your Honor.  I am a fat bastard."
bulletHe who masks a small item with a big title, shalt have thine testicles squeezethed in a vice.
bulletHe who mocketh your Lord and Master, shalt taste His squirrelly wrath.
bulletIf thou insists on the Lord and Master to use His squirrelly wrath to create more fan mail, then He will useth His squirrelly wrath not to maketh another fan mail, but to rain fire on thine person, thine domicile, thine family, and even thine dog.

 

IF you do find these to be entertaining, and would like to learn more about Foamy then go to illwillpress.com by clicking on the site.

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