Tauwan Raoul Patterson is the heart and soul of the TBT; without him, none of this would be possible. However, it is only by the most miraculous of miracles that Tauwan is even alive today and able to participate in the hottest freshman dorm in the Maine continent. Allow me to explain....

Way back in the early '80s, an idealistic young man named Bruce Courtney decided to drop everything and devote himself entirely to the noble aspirations of missionary work. With this sudden spiritual revelation, Bruce made plans to leave the continent immediately in hopes of spreading the teachings of Prince to those countries less fortunate than our own United States. His travels eventually took him to Ganjaton, a small village in Nigeria and home to a native people commonly referred to as the Sakrablak-Alishes. Their's was a very simple, if somwhat primitive way of life, and Bruce took it upon himself to bring the gift of overtly sexual ambiguity to their culture through the constant listening of such artists as David Bowie, George Michael, and, of course, Prince.

Near the end of his first year of residence in Ganjaton, Courtney began to hear rumors of an "arrival." You see, our young missionary had inadvertently come to the village during its bi-centennial, an event of monumental importance to the Ganjatonians. Every bi-centennial, on the last minute of the last hour of the last day of the year, the youngest male in the Ganjaton tribe had to be sacrificed in a boiling cauldron of Tobasco sauce to appease their most powerful God, Mal Twiskee. This year the youngest male was the second born child of the Wahnpaturs clan and they had been preparing their child all year for the great ritual to come.

Bruce was amazed by these proceedings, but he had vowed long ago never to interfere with any practices of the various native tribes. When the hour of the ceremony finally arrived, Bruce followed the Ganjatonians and their sacrifice to the tobasco cauldron. However, just as the the boy was about to be immersed, the village whore came wandering out of the forest and gave birth to a baby boy, who was subsequently tossed into the cauldron of boiling tobasco sauce instead of the second son of the Wahnpaturs. Bruce knew that somehow, somewhere, Prince was responsible for this miracle, and decided to forget about his missionary work and bring the 2nd Wahnpaturs' son back to the United States with him. The son of Wahnpaturs (i.e. the son Twain) eventually had his name anglicized to Tauwan Patterson and he was given the arbitrary middle name of Raoul because he was black but acted Mexican.