Season 1

01, 101 _____
01.31.99 Death Has A Shadow
Peter gets fired after a raucous stag party, and receives an exorbitant amount of money from the welfare department.
02, 102 _____
04.11.99 I Never Met The Dead Man
Peter crashes into a satellite dish, knocking out the city's TV, and blames it on Meg. However, Peter does rediscover the rest of life when he can no longer sit in front of the boob-tube all day. Stewie schemes to eradicate broccoli.
03, 103 _____
04.18.99 Chitty Chitty Death Bang
On Stewie's first birthday, Peter kidnaps a circus for entertainment, Stewie runs away from home, and Meg makes a new friend who is in a suicidal cult.
04, 104 _____
04.25.99 Mind Over Murder
Peter punches out a pregant woman and is under house arrest. He builds a bar in the basement so that his friends will hang out with him, but it turns into a singing venue for Lois. Stewie builds a time machine to move time forward and alleviate his teething pain, but ends up making time go backwards instead to erase the fact that his blueprints for the device were seen by the entire bar.
05, 105 _____
05.02.99 A Hero Sits Next Door
Peter is jealous of his new neighbor, a handicapped police hero, and tries to fiol a bank robbery to prove that he too can be a hero.
06, 106 _____
05.09.99 The Son Also Draws
The whole family takes a trip to New York to get Chris back in the Scouts when he gets kicked out. On the way, they get lost and stop at a Native American casino. Lois discovers an addiction to video poker, and bets away the family car. Peter has to go on a vision quest to prove he is Native American to get the family car back.
07, 107 _____
05.16.99 Brian, Portrait Of A Dog
Peter enters Brian in a dog show for some extra money, and although Brian originally agrees to perform, once he realizes that he'll have to beg for a treat he decides it's all too humiliating. After not receiving the respect he feels he deserves at home, Brian takes off, returning to the streets where Peter originally found him, and gets arrested and sentenced to death. It's up to Peter to save him, and he does so by bribing the city council.

Season 2

08, 201 _____
09.23.99 Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater
It turns out that Lois is from a rich family, and her aunt Marguerite dies and leaves the Griffins her Newport, RI mansion. The family moves in, and Peter, with some coaching from Brian, tries to become a debonair gentleman. Peter bids $100 million on a vase at an auction, and Lois gets fed up with how Newport has changed her family. Peter finds pictures of old presidents with whores in the house, and sells them to make enough money to pay off his $100 million debt and buy their old house back in Quahog.
09, 202 _____
09.30.99 Holy Crap!
Peter's retired and very religious father drives everyone crazy after he moves in. After his father fires him from his own job, Peter kidnaps the Pope to convince his father that he's a good son.
10, 203 _____
12.26.99 Da Boom
Peter, warned about the end of the world by a giant chicken, forces his family to take cover in the basement for New Year's eve. They survive the nuclear holocaust, and with help of a Twinkie factory in Natick, they found New Quahog from the remnants of their lives. Peter is mayor of the new town, but when everyone gets sick of the lousy job he's doing, the Griffin family gets kicked out and heads for a Carvel factory. Meanwhile, Stewie, who has been mutated into an octopus, leaves behind eggs which hatch a whole bunch of violent clones that destroy New Quahog. Then Pamela wakes up in "Dallas" to find Bobby in the shower and tells him about this awful dream she had about an episode of Family Guy.
11, 204 _____
03.07.00 Brian In Love.
After Brian starts having accidents in the house, he goes to a therapist who convinces him that he's in love with Lois. Stewie refuses to be potty-trained.
12, 205 _____
03.14.00 Love Thy Trophy
The Griffins and their neighbors work together to build an award-winning float for the town parade, but start a neighborhood war when their trophy disappears. Meg wants a Prada purse like all her friends, so she gets a job waitressing. She realizes that she makes much more money in tips after someone mistakes Stewie as her son, so she starts to play it up until Stewie is taken away by child services. The neighborhood comes together to work as a team and get Stewie back from his foster home, but it ends up that Meg has to trade her new Prada purse for her little brother. It turns out that Brian buried the trophy in the back yard because he likes to bury shiny things.
13, 206 _____
03.21.00 Death Is A Bitch
Peter finds a lump in his breast and goes to the doctor. Although he gets a clean bill of health, he writes on his form that he's dead so that he doesn't have to pay his bill. Death gets a copy of the form and comes to collect Peter, but when Peter tries to make a run for it, Death sprains his ankle. While death is laid up on his couch, Peter goes out on a rampage, jumping off buildings, drinking hundreds of beers, and getting himself shot. He publicizes the fact that the rules of Death no longer apply, so Death tells Peter that he'll let him live as long as Peter fills in for him while he's recuperating. Death sends Peter to do a high-profile killing: the cast of Dawson's Creek on a plane. Peter actually ends up thwarting the plane crash, but the event makes the news, and at least the pilots died, so Death feels like everyone is reminded that people can still die. Death leaves the Griffins' with a promise to return soon.
14, 207 _____
03.28.00 The King Is Dead
When Lois becomes artistic director of the local theater troupe and decides to put up The King and I, Peter takes over the show and makes a mockery of it, setting in in the future with robots and partial nudity.
15, 208 _____
03.28.00 I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar
After Peter gives up a free boat for free tickets to a lousy comedy club, he gets drunk at the comedy club and performs a little stand-up. People laugh at him mainly because he's a drunk ass, but he takes it as a testament to his comedy skills and starts telling tasteless jokes at work. One of his female co-workers is offended, so he gets sent to a sensitivity training class which he completely fails. He is then sent on a womens' retreat, where is basically turned into an overly-sensitive woman. Lois misses her old raunchy husband, and when he brings her to a womens' rights benefit, she ends up getting in a fight with one of the feminist leaders. The cat fight brings Peter back to himself, and he immediately takes Lois home and to bed.
16, 209 _____
04.04.00 If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin'
Peter tells the Grant a Dream Foundation that Chris is dying so that the network will bring back their favorite cancelled TV show. When the Foundation comes calling for the rights to the story of Chris's death, Peter tells them that he miraculously cured Chris with his divine powers. People in Quahog start worshipping Peter, which he totally takes advantage of, until God sends down plagues to warn the Griffins that he doesn't want people worshipping anyone but him.
17, 210 _____
04.11.00 Running Mates
Lois is running for school board unopposed, but when Peter's favorite old teacher is fired for being a wacko and Lois doesn't think he deserves his job back, Peter runs against her. Peter runs a dirty race, and ends up winning after publicizing a risque picture of Lois that she gave him for their anniversary. Meanwhile, Chris is busted peeping at girls in the locker room, so Peter gives him a collection of pornographic magazines so that he can look at those instead of the real thing. Peter seems to be making good changes to the Quahog school system, but then the pornographic magazines come to light. James Carville advises Peter to blame the magazines on his wife, and he starts to, but then can't go through with it. He ends up announcing that he did give Chris the magazines, and he loves his wife, and he resigns from the school board.
18, 211 _____
04.18.00 A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks
Chris gives his father a painting for his birthday, and a SoHo gallery owner spots it and admires it. The Griffins travel to New York so that Chris can become a famous artist, but when Chris realizes that one of the gallery owner's conditions is that he never sees his father again, he realizes he doesn't have what it takes. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes a Calvin Klein underwear model and helps launch CK's new baby underwear.
19, 212 _____
04.25.00 Fifteen Minutes Of Shame
Meg is sick of being embarrassed by her family, so she ambushes them on a talk show. A network executive is intrigued by their story, and gets Peter to sign a deal to make the Griffins' daily lives into a reality series for TV. Meg can't stand it, and quits the family, living with the neighbors, while her role is re-cast with a perky blonde. When the cameras start just following the blonde around, the rest of the family realizes how silly it all is and they also quit. The entire family is re-cast with Tom Arnold and Fran Drescher playing Peter and Lois, and the real Griffins re-unite with Meg and live in a hotel.
20, 213 _____
05.30.00 Road To Rhode Island
Brian goes to pick up Stewie from visiting his grandparents in Palm Springs, and they miss their flight home due to Brian's drunkeness. During their car-stealing, train-hopping, hitch-hiking trip back to Rhode Island, they stop by Austin, TX so that Brian can deal with his mother-abandonment issues. There they find that Brian's mother has died and been stuffed by her owners, so they give her a proper burial. Lois makes Peter watch relationship communication tapes that are actually pornography. Chris and Meg play a stupid word guessing game.
21, 214 _____
06.06.00 Let's Go To The Hop
After a plane smuggling psychadelic toads from Colombia crashes in Quahog, toad-licking becomes the new drug of choice in the Quahog high school. Peter infiltrates the high school undercover as a cool kid and convinces all the kids to quit licking toads. Meg is trying to be popular so that a cool kid will ask her to the school dance, and decides to attend with her father since he's established himself as incredibly cool. Peter, however, can't help living out his own fantasies of being the cool kid in school, and can't say now when the most popular girl in school asks him to the dance, so he ditches Meg. When Peter and his date are chosen as king and queen of the prom, Peter is overcome by guilt, announces to the whole school that Meg broke his heart by dumping him, and makes it look like his high school persona drove his motorcycle over a cliff.
22, 215 _____
06.13.00 Dammit Janet
Lois notices that Stewie is having a hard time socializing with other kids his age, so she decides to put him in daycare with other kids. Stewie is, at first, horrified by daycare, but then he meets a pretty girl named Janet and learns what a serious crush feels like. He woos her, and has a mostly one-sided relationship which ends when he catches her eating some other boy's cookie. He tries to be strong, but ends up groveling to get her back, and then finally realizes that she was just using him for his cookies. Meanwhile, Lois is bored without Stewie to take care of, so she gets a job as a flight attendant. Peter, initially against Lois getting a job, is all for it because then he can fly free. Lois is miserable at her job, but Peter encourages her to keep it up because he is enjoying flying all over the world and making ridiculous demands from other flight attendants. Finally, Lois and Peter end up on the same flight, and Lois busts Peter making an ass of himself. She takes him into a bathroom to yell at him, and the plane gets hijacked. They end up stuck in Cuba without passports, and get on a raft with a bunch of Cuban refugees to get back to the U.S..
23, 216 _____
06.27.00 There's Something About Paulie
Peter and Lois go to buy a second car, but when Peter refuses to listen to Lois's good advice, they end up buying a lemon. Peter gets an offer from the mob to steal his crappy car so he can get insurance to pay for another one, and despite warnings from his friend, he takes the deal. Of course, shortly thereafter, the mob comes to Peter to ask for a favor. The Don asks Peter to take his annoyng nephew, Big Fat Paulie, out to the movies. Big Fat Paulie ends up coming home for dinner with Peter, and pissing off the entire Griffin family. Peter tells Paulie that he can't hang out with him anymore because Lois doesn't like him, so Paulie takes out a hit on the Lois. When Paulie is killed in a drive-by, Peter and Lois realize they have to go ask the Don to call off the hit as a favor on the day of his daughter's wedding.
24, 217 _____
06.27.00 He's Too Sexy For His Fat
Peter tries to help Chris lose weight, but when working out for a week doesn't make a difference, he resorts to liposuction. Chris is scared off by the plastic surgeon, but Peter undergoes the operation and ends up a big stud. Lois is disturbed when she disapproves of Peter's decision, but can't help being attracted to her new studly husband. Peter is inducted into the Beautiful People's Club of Quahog and shuns his "normie" family. Peter, distracted by his own reflection in his rear-view mirror, crashes his car and lands in the Quahog Lard Factory. When the bandages are removed, he looks like his old self. Stewie, while tormenting Chris on his diet, gains an enormous amount of weight and becomes so roly-poly that he can't even reach his own mouth with his hands.
25, 218 _____
06.12.00 E. Peterbus Unum
When Peter tries to get a permit to build a swimming pool in his back yard, he finds out that his lot is actually not part of Quahog, and therefore not part of the U.S., so he forms his own country of Petoria. When Peter gets no respect in the U.N., he decides to invade his neighbor's pool, which brings the U.S. Army to his border. The Griffins can only survive so long with no water, electricity, heat, or access to the United States, and finally, Lois and the kids leave President Peter to his third-world country. Peter finally repatriates only a week after seceding.
26, 219 _____
06.18.00 The Story On Page 1
Meg wants to get into Brown, but needs more extracurriculars on her transcripts, so she tries to join the school newspaper. Meg gets a great scoop on Mayor Adam West being insane and write a ground-breaking article, but Peter thinks it's dull and replaces it with one of his own outing Luke Perry (Meg's favorite celebrity) as gay. Luke Perry threatens to sue Meg while Peter desperately tries to prove that Luke Perry really is gay.
27, 220 _____
06.25.00 Wasted Talent
In a fabulous take-off on "Charlie and Chocolate Factory," the local brewery announces that it has put four silver scrolls in four beers, and the lucky drinkers who find them will get a tour of the brewery which has always been closed to visitors. Peter drinks steadily for days until he finds the last scroll, and excitedly goes for his tour of the brewery with Brian. He and Brian are kicked out when they drink an experimental beer that never goes flat. Meanwhile, Lois is desperate to find a piano student that can win the piano competition, since she has always come in second to her rival teacher, Alexis. When she discovers that Peter plays the piano beautifully when drunk she plies him with alcohol until he wins the competition for her.
28, 221 _____
07.01.00 Fore, Father
Peter escapes spring cleaning by going on a father/son camping trip with Joe and Cleveland. Joe points out that Chris is lazy and irresponsible, and points out Peter's lack of fathering skills. Peter gets Chris a job at the golf course to teach him responsibility, but it's there that he realizes that Cleveland's son, Cleveland Jr., is a natural golfer and he decides to mold him into a pro. Cleveland warns Peter about his son't short attention span, but Peter is all wrapped up in proving his fathering skills. Chris is depressed that his father has decided to work on a new son, and turns to Quagmire who takes him out womanizing and to a nudie bar. Luckily, one of the strippers tells Chris to give his father another chance, and Chris is ready to take back his father when Peter predictably fails keeping Cleveland Jr.'s attention. After Stewie destroys a bunch of Brian's first edition books, Brian gets his revenge. When Stewie has a bad reaction to a recent vaccination at the doctor's office, Brian convinces him that the injection wasn't to make Stewie well, but actually to make him ill and control his brain.

Season 3

29, 301 _____
07.11.01 The Thin White Line.
Brian feels like he's stuck in a rut, and so he takes his therapist's advice and tries to help others for a change. He ends up a very successful drug-sniffing dog for the Quahog police department, but along the way he gets addicted to cocaine. Peter is disappointed when the Griffin family has to cancel their planned vacation in the Bahamas to help support Brian who is in rehab, but decides to tag along with his dog when he sees the beautiful clinic. A therapist at the clinic tells Brian that Peter is a bad influence on him. Although Brian defends his friend and leaves rehab in protest, the wise dog realizes he does need some time away from the Griffin family and leaves Quahog for parts unknown. To Be Continued....
30, 302 _____
07.18.01 Brian Does Hollywood
Brian is a struggling screenwriter in Hollywood, which really means he's waitering and washing cars. Brian's cousin introduces the lost dog to a local producer who offers Brian a job directing... a porno. Meanwhile, Stewie has a successful audition for Kids Say the Darndest Things, and plots to use hypnotizing glasses on national television to take over the world. The Griffins get a free trip to Los Angeles due to Stewie's TV appearance and come to visit Brian at work. Brian is ashamed of working in porn and tries to hide it from his family, leading them to believe that he's now a stuck-up Hollywood big shot. Brian is miserable when he is nominated for a Woody Award for porn directing and can't share it with his family. Luckily, Brian's cousin calls the Griffins and tells them about the award. Brian's family is there to support him when he wins the Woody, and he realizes that it was a mistake to leave Quahog. Stewie's plot is foiled when Bill Cosby unwittingly uses the young boy's glasses and hypnotizes Stewie into being a complacent kid.
31, 303 _____
07.25.01 Mr. Griffin Goes To Washington
Peter's toy company gets bought by a large cigarette company, and the toys are then used to market cigarettes to children. When Peter, on Lois's advice, confronts his new bosses about their evil use of toys, they promote Peter to president to shut him up. Lois, pleased with all the perks that come with Peter's new position, keeps her mouth shut too, while Brian quits smoking in protest. Peter's bosses send him to Washington to lobby against a bill that would put them out of business, because they figure politicians will be able to relate to a big dumb fat guy. When Lois finds Stewie smoking a cigarette, she goes down to Washington to stop what Peter's doing, and Peter ends up getting his tobacco company fined $100,000,000.
32, 304 _____
08.01.01 One If By Clam, Two If By Sea
When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, but is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper english.
33, 305 _____
08.08.01 And The Wiener Is...
Peter, used to beating Chris at every game they play, is intimidated when he realizes that Chris has a bigger penis than he does. Peter tries to compensate by getting a very phallic sports car and joining a gun-club, but when Chris saves him from a bear attack, he gets some perspective and tells his son that he's lucky to have such a big penis. Meanwhile, Meg joins the Flag Girls, and tries to act like she's now a popular cheerleader, but the cheerleaders mock her and cover her with stinky meat at a football game. Meg, on her mother's advice, is still friendly, and finally gets invited to a cheerleader's birthday party. Lois plans Meg's revenge on the popular kids, but Meg backs out of their complicated plan at the last minute, claiming that these people are now her friends. Meg regrets her decision when she is tricked into kissing a pig.
34, 306 _____
08.05.01 Death Lives
When Peter sets up a distracting scavenger hunt for Lois so that he can sneak away and play golf on their anniversary, he is struck by lightening. While he hovers in limbo, Death comes to give him a revelation. Through flashbacks of his relationship with Lois, Peter realizes that if he doesn't pay more attention to his beloved wife, she will leave him. At the same time, Peter gives Death dating tips, and gets the grim reaper a date with a girl from a pet store... who turns out to be incredibly boring. Peter gets out of limbo just in time to surprise Lois with Peter Frampton playing "their song" when she arrives to bust him playing golf.
35, 307 _____
08.22.01 Lethal Weapons
Bonnie convinces Lois to join her Tae-Jitsu class and Quahog is invaded by New York "leafers" coming to look at the pretty colored leaves in fall. Lois quickly becomes a black-belt, and Peter uses his new dangerous wife to drive away all the annoying New Yorkers. However, Lois's new-found violent side finds its way into the Griffin household, and after trying counseling, the whole family has an all-out brawl to get it out of their system.
36, 308 _____
08.29.01 The Kiss Seen Around The World
When Meg, due to her crush on Tom Tucker, the newscaster, applies for an internship at the local television station and gets the job, she is disappointed to find that her news partner is the most reviled nerd in school, Neil. Caught in a life-threatening news situation, Meg laments that she never had a first kiss and agrees to kiss Neil only to find that he taped the whole thing in order to broadcast it across the world. Meg broadcasts her own news that she has no interest in Neil, sending him to the ledge on top of Town Hall. She breaks his fall, only to find out that he had no intention of jumping and was just trying to get her attention again. Stewie's prized new tricycle is stolen by the neighborhood bully, but the bully soon learns not to screw with Stewie.
37, 309 _____
09.05.01 Mr. Saturday Night
Peter's boss, Mr. Weed, dies suddenly (at the Griifins' house, as it happens), and the toy factory dies with him. Not surprisingly, Peter's "career transition" is less than smooth. Then he decides to follow his 25-year-old dream and become a jouster at Quahog's Renaissance Faire.
38, 310 _____
09.19.01 A Fish Out Of Water
When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral. Faced with losing the family home, Peter resorts to desperate measures to get the money and hunts down a famous man-eating fish for the reward money. Meanwhile, Lois and Meg hit the beach for Spring Break.
39, 311 _____
11.08.01 Emission Impossible
Peter and Lois are inspired by her pregnant sister Carol to have another baby. Stewie is appalled at the prospect of another sibling and vows to keep Lois and Peter from sleeping together. After various attempts to stop them, Stewie shrinks himself down to a microscopic size and enters Peter's body in hopes of destroying all of his sperm.
40, 312 _____
11.15.01 To Live And Die In Dixie
When Chris sees a convenience store hold up and identifies the thief in a police line-up, the Griffins are put into the witness protection program and must relocate to a small town in the deep south. While they are there, the townspeople put on a Civil War re-enactment and re-invent history by having the South win -- with laser swords. But when Peter questions the historical truthfulness, the town turns on him and he must fight his own battle.
41, 313 _____
11.29.01 Screwed The Pooch
When Brian joins Lois and Peter on their visit to the Pewterschmidits, his pent-up sexual energy is unleashed on the Pewterschmidit's dog Sea Breeze. After the vet informs them that Sea Breeze is pregnant, Mr. Pewterschmidt refuses to let Brian near her. Brian decides to sue him for custody of the puppies.
42, 314 _____
12.06.01 Peter Griffin - Husband, Father... Brother?
When Chris begins to embrace African-American culture, Cleveland takes him to an Irish heritage museum to teach him about his own culture. In a genealogy book, Chris discovers that he has an African-American ancestor. Meanwhile, when the Peterschmidts come to visit, they reveal a secret and bribe Peter to keep it quiet. But after Peter accepts the bribe, he makes a harsh realization.
43, 315 _____
02.20.01 Ready, Willing And Disabled
When Joe loses a thief in a chase, he also loses his self confidence and pride as a police officer. Peter becomes determined to help Joe and offers to train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter spikes Joe's drink with steroids and he goes on to win the gold medal and fame. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg and Brian fight over a money clip and twenty six dollars.
44, 316 _____
02.21.01 A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
Christmas gets off to a rocky start for the Griffins when Peter accidentally gives all of the family presents away and they have to go shopping on Christmas Eve. Meanwhile, at home, Brian gets caught in a sticky mess with the Christmas tree and ends up burning Lois' dinner. Coming home to the mess, Lois has to struggle to keep her Christmas cheer.
45, 317 _____
01.17.02 Brian Wallows And Peter's Swallows
When Brian finds the dating scene unbearable, he drowns his loneliness in alcohol and gets arrested for drunk driving. A court judge sentences him to care for a cranky elderly woman who winds up being the love of Brian's life. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard which becomes a nest for endangered birds.
46, 318 _____
01.24.02 From Method To Madness
When Brian auditions for a role at the local theater, Stewie is discovered and enters the Quahog School of Performing Arts. Meanwhile, Peter rescues a man from the ocean only to discover that the man is a nudist.
47, 319 _____
01.31.02 Stuck Together, Torn Apart
Lois runs into an old male friend from school and they renew their friendship. When Peter finds out, he becomes jealous, to say the least. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie get themselves stuck together with industrial-strength glue.
48, 320 _____
02.07.02 European Road Show
Brian and Stewie stow away on a plane they think is bound for England. They're wrong, and soon they're in Saudi Arabia, at the beginning of a long, strange trip back home. Meanwhile, back in the U.S., Peter and Lois have an odd encounter with KISS.
49, 321 _____
02.14.02 Viewer Mail #1
In a special three-story episode, Brian reads viewer mail and tries to answer the questions: What if the Griffins were little, What if Peter found a Genie lamp and What if the Griffins had super powers.
50, 322 _____
UNAIRED When You Wish Upon A Wienstein
An inspirational visit from a successful Jew -- who could be the answer to Peter's financial crisis -- leads Peter to push Chris to go Jewish, so he too will be successful.