|
The Jokes!.... |
 Father: Well, son,
how are your marks at school?Son: They are under-water! Father: What do you mean by under-water? Son: Below 'C' level! Once Michael said
to Ajit, 'Boss, Mickey wants to read the Ramayana.'Ajit replied, 'Ok put Mickey on a wall.' Michael asked, 'What for boss?' Ajit said, 'You fool, after putting Mickey on a wall, he will become Valmiki and can himself read the Ramayana'. Recently a
worldwide survey was conducted by U.N. The question asked was: 'Would you
please give your opinion about the food shortage in the rest of the world?'.The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what 'opinion' meant. In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant. And in U.S. they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant. A Japanese
traveler wanted to visit India. He reached the airport & hailed a taxi. The
taxi driver was from Calcutta.The Japanese said: Your taxi goes very slow. Japanese taxi goes very fast. Your buses are very slow. Japanese buses are very fast. 'What!!!!' yelled the Japanese at the end of the journey, 'your meter goes very fast!' 'Yes, sir', said the taxi driver, 'it is made in Japan!' Santa Singh and
Banta Singh had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk
trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally
Santa invited Banta to visit him in his new apartment. 'I have a wife and
three children and I'd love to have you visit us.''Oye! Great! Where do you live?', Banta asked. 'Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in.' 'Santaji, but tell me... what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?' 'Oye Banta, surely you're not coming empty-handed???' Once upon a time a
Pappu was exercising in the park. He saw two person were working. One was
digging the ground and the other was filling up the hole.Pappu was very confused by watching this, he went to the men & asked, 'What are you doing?' One of them replied, 'We have a team of three people, one of us digs the ground, the other pushes plants into the hole and third one fills-up the hole. The guy who fixes the plants is absent.. but why should we stop our work??' A lion held a huge
party at his place, He invited only his fellow lions. The lions were dancing
when a mouse also came a joined in.The lion asked the mouse why he entered the party when the other species were not invited. The mouse said 'Shaadi se pehle main bhi sher tha! Once two drunk men
get out of a bar. After sometime one of them come running and ask the
bartender to help him take out his friend who had fallen into an open drain.The bartender asks him, 'How deep has he fallen?' The man replies ,'Knee high!' The bar tender replies, 'Then what is the problem, he can get out himself.' The man replies, 'No no! You don't understand, he has fallen upside down…' Once a girl was
drinking coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink and took it out from
the coke.The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died. The baby fly opened it's eyes looked at the girl and said ,'maaa!'. The girl asked the baby fly, 'main tumhari Maa nahin hoon phir tu mujhe kyon Maa bulati hai?' The fly replied, 'kyon ki Main tumhari coke se janam liya hai.' Once it so
happened in a flight that, James Bond was sitting besides a Telugu guy. Both
were traveling to US.Telugu Guy: Hello May I know your name please? James Bond: I am Bond... James Bond....... and you? Telugu Guy: I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai ... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Bulusupalli Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Bond faints!!!! One day two
friends are bragging.The first friend said: My father has great eyes site like eagle, he is very clever as fox, very brave like the Lion... 2nd friend quickly replied: This means that I need to buy a ticket to the Zoo to meet your Father?? A man and his wife
were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed
a problem.The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody. The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, 'Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?' Hai koi jawaab??? A Japanese couple
have illegitimate twins, what do they name them?Answer : Jo Hua , So Hua. A man standing at
one side of a river wants to know how to get to the other side of the river.He shouts to a sardarji on the other side to ask how he could get to the other side. The sardarji says, 'you are already on the other side'. Once Santa Singh
was traveling in a bus late at night. At one of the stops an old lady got into
the bus. Santa Singh stood up and gave her his seat.The next morning the conductor asked Santa Singh if he was alright the previous night. Santa said, 'Yes of course! What's wrong with giving your seat to an old lady like that?' The conductor said, 'Yeah, but you were the only one on the bus!' Why did the Gujju
go to ROME?Ans. Because he wanted to listen to POPE music!!! ' How come you're
late?' asks the bartender as the waitress walks in the door. 'It was awful,' she explains. 'I was walking down this street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street. He'd been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute.' 'What did you do?' asks the bartender. 'I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!' |
