Hooray! It’s the night of our fantasy date. Remind me how we would’ve got here? I’ve had a touch of amnesia!
I asked you out last week, remember. I was looking at you across the room and thought I’d see if you wanted to go out for a drink one night soon.

How did you do it?
I just went right up to you. I didn’t use any cheesy chat-up lines or anything like that. I was a wee bit nervous, to be honest with you, but I just thought that I may as well go for it. What did I have to lose?

So, ahem, what would’ve appealed to you about me?
Your legs! They were just right. They’re not particularly long, but they’ve great all the same. And your nice, blonde, wavy hair caught my eye as well. I couldn’t tell much about your personality just from looking at you, but you were laughing a lot with your friends. You looked like you were the centre of attention as well, which I liked. It made me feel like you were the one I should go for.

Oh! And were you right?
Yeah. The best thing was, when you turned around to look at me, I could tell that you didn’t have a clue that I was in Westlife. I was certain you didn’t know me at all and that was a good thing. I was really hoping that you wouldn’t be starstruck.

So are you saying that we’d have never got together if I’d have known who you were?
Naah! I still would have definitely asked you out but I would have been a bit disapointed that you’d recognised me.

You took the upper hand with organising our date – do you always do that?
Yeah, well, I wanted to make the effort, I booked a car to pick me up at seven and then came to pick you up. It took a while to get you, actually – I didn’t make it ’til quarter past eight cos it was a long enough drive! I was coming from Heathrow after flying in from Dublin.

So are you a bit tired, then?
I am actually but I’ve been looking forward to it all week, so don’t worry – I won’t be yawning! I always make a real effort on a date.

Did you bring me a present?
No, I didn’t – sorry.

No problem. I got you some flowers – does that freak you out?
Not really. Personally, I wouldn’t normally give a present on the first date. I’d rather seem a bit more laid back and then if the date goes well, I might send you flowers the next day, or bring you something if we see each other again.

Ooo! Don’t give away all your secrets! That sounds good, though. So, do you like what I’m wearing?
Actually, I was quite surprised cos you’re wearing trousers tonight, which I didn’t expect. You’ve got those great legs and I thought you’d be show ’em off by wearing a skirt.

Awh! Soz! Are you really disapointed?
Naah, it’s okay. I saw your legs last week at the bar, so I know what’s underneath your trousers, ha ha! (Laughs for about an hour!) I like your outfit, actually. You’ve got on cream cords and smart boots with a pointy heel, and a nice kind of jacket which goes well with your hair. It’s a really good outfit, actually. You look smart, well dressed – I’m impressed. And you smell fantastic.

Tee hee! You’re embarrassing me! I like your outfit too.
Thanks! I’m going for the casual but smart look y’know? Dressing down for a nice dinner, not too fancy.

Okay, enough about the clothes - where are we going?
I’m taking you to a fantastic Italian restaurant in the centre of town. It’s not too star-studded, though. I’ve chosen somewhere that’s a bit more chilled out. It’s somewhere you can just go to relax. I actually know the chef really well! (Dissolves into giggles at making all theese details up) He’s called Pedro! He comes over and welcome us, and we have a little chat, but I don’t make too big deal of it cos I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of wide boy.

No, don’t worry – I’m impressed! So, we sit down...
Yep, we’re shown to a lovely quiet little table in the corner, and we get our menus. I’m really pleased cos you seem to be choosing a lot of really nice food. I don’t like girls who have salad for starters, salad for main and salad for dessert. I prefer a girl who’s not afraid to eat, definitely.

What are you having?
I’m having a lovely minestrone soup to start and I think I’ll go for lasagne to follow. I love my lasagne. Actually, no, I’ve changed my order – I can never decide! This happens every time I go out for dinner. I look at the menu and I find three things that I want, and I can’t decide between ’em. I go for penne arabbiata. A bit spicy, like me!

Uh oh! Someone in the restaurant’s just come over and asked for your autograph – how do you feel?
In a way, I wish it hadn’t happened, just cos it was nice when you didn’t know who I was, or what I did for a living. But signing autographs is part of my job and you had to find out sometime.

I’m being quite chatty – is that a problem?
No, I’m glad that I’m finding out more about you. You’re doing really well at the moment, it’s really cool. There aren’t any awkward pauses, which is a good sign.

What could be the worst thing I could say at his point?
That you hated boybands, ha ha! Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to really, really like boybands and pop music but it would be nice if you didn’t dog it. That would be a real turn-off.

Okay! Luckily, I avoided that! We’re at the end of our meal. Do we split the bill?
No, I’m paying. If you really want to pay, I’ll let you but I’d rather pick up the bill this time. I think it’s more gentlemanly on a first date. Maybe you can pay next time – or we could split it!

Naah, you treat me! Where now? A club?
Nope. We’re gonna go for a walk. We’re gonna take a stroll down the street.

Oh, that sounds alright. Are you going to try and hold my hand?
No, I don’t think so. I’m just going to walk with you. I might put my hand on your back as we go round a corner, just to guide you round but I’d drop it again once we’d turned. Or maybe I’d reach out, "Watch yourself there!", if you looked like you might fall, that kind of things.

Yikes! A snapper jumps out and takes our pic as you’re reaching out to me!
Bad but not a disaster. There’s no point shouting at him or trying to get the film back – it never works. The most important thing is that you’re not too scared. In fact, scrap that! The most important thing is that you’re not too happy about it. If you looked remotely pleased, it’d be a total turn-off, cos it’d seem like you were with me for the wrong reasons.

Glad that’s all over. What now?
I’m gonna give you a lift home in a cab. When we get back to yours, I walk you to the door.

What a sweetie! Do I get a kiss, then?
Yeah. Maybe on the cheek, maybe on the lips, but definitely not a snog. I did like you an awful lot, but I don’t want to give you the wrong impression of me. I tell you I’ll call in a couple of days.

And you do?
Of course! I’m not one of those guys who say they will and the doesn’t. It was a good date, I really enjoyed it. I’d really like to see you again.

Oh, goody! When will that be?
The next time I get a day off – so probably some time next year! Ha ha!