THIS JOURNAL HAS MOVED TO www.richierosati.com BUT BELOW ARE PAST JOURNAL POSTINGS.
I post some of my daily adventures and thoughts here on my website...as a form of therapy for me...so here are my postings below...most current first...
Knock Knock Knock...Donatella, Are You Home?
Posted: Friday, December 26th, 2003 9:40 AM
Happy Holiday's everyone. I'm back from Florida. I had a really good time there with family and friends. I spent my first night in Florida on South Beach with a few really close friends of mine who were staying on Ocean Drive. South Beach is a really fun place to be if you're there with your neighborhood pals...instead of just a bunch of new friends you met in a club somewhere on Washington and Lincoln.
So my friends and I had dinner at this restaurant/bar called Cafe Med, which is located next to the Gianni Versace Mansion on Ocean Drive. The place had an excellent view of the ocean and excellent food and service. They also had this 2 for 1 drink special all night. If you're on South Beach this year you might want to check this place out.
I was hanging out with 2 Christine's in our party that night. One of the 2 Christine's lives in Florida. She's a blast to hang out with but sometimes Christine #2 can cross the line with situations and people. Here's an example...After a few drinks at Cafe Med she decided she was going to go around the bar and announce to some other restaurant patrons that she was a tv talk show producer and that she neededed to inform them that they were in need of a serious makeover right there smack in the middle of Southbeach. I told her that she could end up ruining some poor woman's vacation right there on beautiful South Beach but she insisted she had to be fashion patrol and stop those who were fashionably incorrect.
When we were finished drinking and eating and watching her play this out with a few people she came up with this new idea that Donatella Versace owed her a dress. Well actually I edged her on with this idea...Since we were right next door to the Versace Mansion she said it would be best if we all just "stopped on by to say cheers to Donatella in person...and ask for the dress". I guess this would have been funny to do but considering it was 2am I don't think Donatella would have been very happy to see us at this hour. Does Christine actually know Donatella you ask?...Absolutely not...None of us personally know her.
The mansion was dark except for one little light in a room way in the back of the house which actually overlooked this little alley behind Ocean Drive. So we jumped over this small rope in front of her door. We began to ring the bell as Christine started hollaring up, "Donatella are you home? You owe me a dress!"...This went on for about 10 minutes or so but no signs of Donatella anywhere. As we turned around to leave the mansion the scenario had created a huge gathering of onlookers who were all hoping to catch a glimpse of the famous Donatella Versace herself...I feel bad they actually never did get to see her but they did get to see a wonderful performance by Christine #2 herself.
Hello From Florida!
Posted: Thursday, November 18th, 2003 3:09 AM
Well the site is finally up! There are still a couple of kinks I am working out and I'm still awaiting some video clips, new pics, and added flash features, but the basic template is up and running here on richierosati.com. I am vacationing here in Florida. I needed a vacation desperately. I flew out here on Tuesday morning on a very early flight. My flight was leaving at 7:05 am and the night before I received a call from the airline asking me to report to the airport at 5am...Yea...ok...I ended up leaving my apartment at like 5:30am...rushing down the AC Expressway at like 75 miles an hour praying I didn't get all jammed up in some kind of traffic disaster causing me to miss the 7:05 red eye. I made it to the terminal at 6:17 am. Boarding time was 6:25 so you can imagine the panic. On a good note I flew First Class again. I think I kind of gotten use to those really wide leather seats. Scary thing was (and I haven't felt this since I was a child), I found myself seated there waiting for the plane to take off and feeling really claustrophobic. Like I just couldn't find air. My heart started racing and I felt the urge to jump out of the chair and ask the Stewardess (wait...excuse me...Flight Attendant) if I could just poke my head out of the plane for a few seconds to get some air. I then heard the pilot announce that we would be delayed for awhile since they had to "defrost" the wings. More panic. As I saw this smoke surrounding the plane "defrosting" it, I felt air finally coming out of that little top circular thing above each seat. I felt better as I convinced myself that it was fresh air coming through that thing. Your mind can really play a mean game on you if you let it run away with you...especially when you're stuck inside of an aircraft with a zillion other people...First Class or not...
My friends were staying on South Beach so as soon as my plane landed, I unpacked at my families home and slept for awhile. I then drove to South Beach to spend the night with them since they were leaving today at 4pm. We had dinner at Cafe Med right on the beach (highly recommended) and then more drinks next door at (sorry, can't remember the name)...I do know we were right next door to Gianni Versace's mansion which was totally dark. I have to get used to this new site...It all feels so awkard...but more to come later...and look for the changes on the site soon...ok gotta run...
RIchie Rosati.Com Coming this Week!
Posted: Sunday, November 16th, 2003 4:12 AM
This will probably be my last post on this site before moving to my own .com which is almost complete. I never thought it would be so difficult designing your own website but we're almost there now...so all of my journal entries will be available at richierosati.com including my past entries posted here. There will be a link from here to there for those of you who wish to visit my new site...my very own site...
On November 20th I am taping a weeks worth of television breaks so I'm pretty much preparing myself for the "on air" mode...
Life has been good to me this month...I managed to pay off a loan I acrued from my past gambling days...and also been finding myself in a better financial situation...It took a long time for me to start to feel as if GA has really worked for me...It truly has...and it can for you as well if you are a compulsive gambler trying to recover...
When gambling your heart is not open...I managed to break the spell when I found GA...a group I believe was sent to me by my Higher Power...who I choose to call Jesus Christ...
Pain was a sign that something was wrong and I prayed to God that it wouldn't last long...I eventually wanted to go higher...higher in my spirit self...
I quote a famous song...which I feel reflects my situation...it's called "The Power Of Goodbye"...Goodbye to the person I was and a rebirth to the person I now am...
"There was nothing left to lose...there was no more heart to bruise...there's no greater power than the power of goodbye"...
Saying goodbye to gambling was rough in the beginning...but I stuck it through and stayed with GA and now I find myself running the actual meeting each week...meeting new people who are just coming in off the bet for the first time...desperate to find recovery...exhausted of their character defects...as we all were when we first found GA...
The most important part of it all I believe is to just stop gambling at first...then as you start to heal...start to recover you find yourself faced with these 12 steps that the program installs in you...steps you must work through...It isn't always necessary to follow the steps in order...well, the first step you must do first...Admitting you are powerless over your addiction...admit that your life has become unmanageable...then the rest of the steps I would suggest you read through and work them as they work you...Eventually you'll find you've worked all the steps and you'll also revisit each step as different situations arise in your life...
I am a very proud recovering compulsive and impulsive gambler...I have found alot of neat things about myself through this GA program...and also found things that I still need to work on...things I see now that I couldn't see when I was hiding behind a slot machine or a craps table...You'll eventually find that gambling isn't a financial thing at all...it's emotional...we gambled to escape ourselves...thinking it would take away all of the pain or loneliness you were once feeling...In the end, you find out that it only made things worst for you...I know it did me...
I am truly feeling the rewards of what my Higher Power has given me this month...I feel rejuvenated...
It is my birthday week...November 18th is my birthday...My friends and family are all planning things for me to do...It is nice to have people that care around events like your birthday...
Don't forget...this week...richierosati.com...I'll post the opening date here as soon as it is no longer "under construction"...This new site will have many new features...even a link for you to watch my videos...so stay tuned...
Smoking In The Bathroom
Posted: Sunday, November 2nd, 2003 1:08 AM
My Dad was in town this week...Over the weekend he was staying at my Grandparents so I took a drive up to see them all and spent the night...When I woke up on Sunday morning I was craving a cigarette really bad so before heading out to the front lawn to smoke, I went in to use the bathroom first...In the bathroom was my Grandmother smoking sitting quietly on their huge whirlpool style tub sneaking her own cigarette...so I figured it was a safe place to light up...since she was smoking there...and we both just hung out in the bathroom smoking our cigarettes...We were actually hiding the cigarettes from my Gramp who doesn't smoke anymore and doesn't want you to smoke in the house...It was really funny though just her and I smoking quietly in the bathroom like a couple of high school kids sneaking the cigarettes so he wouldn't smell the smoke...but I don't blame him...Smoking in the house is bad...and although you can't smell it yourself if you're a smoker, others who don't smoke can smell it from miles away...even on your clothes.
I do love my Grandparents...they always kept a nice home and love to move...I think they had about a thousand homes to date...I can't keep up...My whole family loves to move...It seems to be the trend...Move, get settled in, get bored with the new place, and pack it up again...
Since my Grandparents live pretty close to the shore driving there started bringing back some really bad memories...Memories of me driving after work to the shore to go gamble...When I used to do that I automatically knew that in 16-24 hours later I'd be on the other side of the highway, broke, depressed, feeling guilty, alone, and I have to say it used to be the worst driving scenario one could ever imagine...On the way up it would be singing, eating fast food in the car, pushing the gas pedal as if I couldn't get there fast enough...but in the back of my mind I knew...I just knew what was in store for me later...There were times I would drive home a winner...yea, in the beginning...but as my gambling disease grew those times were few and far in between...
I don't miss those long rides home after a severe loss and mental breakdown...I don't miss it all...What was nice though this time driving down that long road was that this time I was doing something nice...I was visiting family...and coming home was even nicer knowing that I got the chance to see their new home and drove back gamble free...like a normal human being out after a night spent with family...There were no empty pockets...no guilt this time...no monkey on my back...no fear of self destruction...Just me driving home with a smile...
So richierosati.com has been created...Although it is currently under construction, you will be able to visit me there in about 1 week...Don't believe anyone who tells you that building a .com is easy...because it is not...I recommend hiring a professional team to build your site if you are thinking about becoming a .com for whatever your reasons may be...
I've been asked now to make a tape for the Big Brother producers...I've auditioned for this show in the past and of course bombed...but after the Producer and I appeared on the same Good Morning America episode it actually opened up a door for me...Whether or not that means he'll actually give my audition tape a little more attention is unknown...but it's worth a try...
For some reason flashbacks from my childhood keep arising...It could be that where I am living now is pretty close to where I grew up and that could be causing the flashbacks...then I keep thinking that maybe my time in GA is now cleansing some other part of my mind where it's bringing me back to where I was as a child and rebirthing me so to speak...Maybe I'm trying to find the innonence I once knew...maybe not?...
My posts here may be few and far in between now since richierosati.com will house my new online journal shortly...I will post a notice here and a link to the site when it's officially up and running...
I hope you'll stay with me and continue visiting me online...Let's pray we all have a very peaceful and rewarding winter...God bless you all...
Posted: Thursday, October 9th, 2003 4:37 PM
Sorry I was missing in action for 1 week. It's been hectic just to say the least.
If you want to know what it was like to be on GMA?... here's your answer...
Awhile back I decided to apply for that so called mentioned reality tv show that GMA based their investigative story around. With a borrowed camcorder from my Brother I came home from taping television kids segments one night from work and decided to make this little audition tape for the Producers as they had asked me to do as a finalist for the show. There were 40,000 people who applied and only a handful were asked to make a tape for the next round of auditions.
When I was sitting in front of this little camera in my apartment I guess I was feeling kind of stupid talking to myself (well, I mean, talking to this camera)...all alone in my apartment...like a nut...
I never thought this audition tape would ever end up a year or so later in the hands of America. Who would think that? Would you? Scary huh?
So after all of this chaos hit about the show I came to work one day and my voicemail light was blinking. I checked my messages and it was GMA asking me about the show and about being a finalist for it. I thought to myself this is kinda weird considering I've auditioned for this reality tv show over a year ago and was told I was a finalist but when I never heard back from the Producers, after my video was sent in for round 2, I just chalked it up as another dud...a "you weren't selected for the show" ordeal...
I actually knew the show wasn't in production anyway so I really didn't care about being one of the 40,000 applicants who were told they were finalists...and then didn't hear anything more...in fact, I understand how these shows work and just figured they went another way or just cancelled production all together...
Anyway, to make a long story short, my audition tape ended up a year later on GMA and now my tape is circulating around the country on various news programs...I find this hillarious...I'm kinda glad they cut out the part of the audition tape where I talk about my old gambling habbit...I would have thought though that they would have made for perfect tv...but it was sliced...
I found out yesterday that I was on ABC Action News in Tampa, Florida...
I'll include the links for you to watch the video at the end of this post.
When I agreed to do GMA in New York it was truly a day of adventure for me...I've been in New York City alot these days for things like this but GMA took the cake...
That day started with bumping into Joe Millionaire on the street...(no we didn't talk)...to a fun filled day at the ABC Studios. Those guys and gals at GMA are really kind...everyone at ABC TV in New York were kind to me...even the security guard at the front door who asked me a zillion questions before even letting me enter into the studio building...I guess since he's never seen me working there on tv before on any ABC show, he must have been thinking, "Who the fuck does this guy think he is trying to get up in here?"...but he was nice...really nice...and even set me up in this little room where I was able to change and get out of the rugged jeans I wore on the way up...
I see now that this story seems to be spreading around the country...I am unsure whether or not that's a good thing or a bad thing...
Nevertheless, I was in touch with another actual network producer today which stemmed from all of this drama...so that's a good thing...
Okay gotta run...but I'll check in more with you here and post more frequently...and don't forget in about 2 weeks you can visit me at richierosati.com
Thank you for the emails...I will respond eventually to all of you...even the ugly emails that are probably lurking in the box...they always do...
Here are the links for you to check out the news coverage if you missed any of the interviews that already aired...Stay healthy and God Bless you all...
GOOD MORNING AMERICA !!!!
Posted: Thursday, October 2nd, 2003 7:06 PM
The scotch tape has been lifted off of my mouth!
I can now speak...
I will be on Good Morning America tomorrow!
Sometime between 7 and 8 AM...ABC TV...
Hope you can tune in...
I was given 24 hour notice today about the airdate and time and given the okay to tell you all to tune in...See how good I was...no previous publicizing...For once I cannot be called a BIG MOUTH...
But today I can post the time here...So don't forget to watch!...
ABC TV...Good Morning America...Tomorrow, Friday, October 3rd, between 7 and 8 AM !...
I will be giving commentary here after the show airs...I hope editing doesn't make me look stupid...
Rich, Would You Pick Up The Phone Damn It! Posted: Monday, September 22nd, 2003 5:10 PM
I am still getting the new place in order...It's nice to be in a new place, buy all new things, and feel this refreshed new neighborhood feeling but sometimes I tend to go overboard with trying to get organized...or what I think is organized in my own head...
Need an example?...okay try like spending over an hour in one section of a room trying to make it look perfect...and I'll do this thing where I'll walk in and out of the room pretending to be someone visiting just to see how the room hits my eye...
I think we forget sometimes that what we think looks "perfect" may just be a little passing fancy to someone else...I haven't been this crazy about being organized in a long time...I think at the old place I just didn't give a shit...but here, it's too nice to not be organized or not care about it...I love this new place!
I am still without an actual phone though...which kinda sucks...All I hear on my voicemail (which is still hooked by the way) is "Rich, Pick Up The damn Phone!"...Don't these people realize that I CANNOT HEAR YOU...You are in voicemail land...not on one of those old fashioned answering machines where you can screen the calls live while the person is talking...It's usually the older generation that does this though...
But now wait...I ask myself...does it really suck not having the actual phone there?
The bottom line is I just have way too many
voicemail messages and haven't been getting them as often as I'd like to because being without a phone right now means not dialing into your voicemail number to retrieve the messages as often as you can...
Okay, I have my cell...but half the time it's left in some room somewhere or in my car and I can't even find the damn thing...Sometimes the only way to find it is to call myself up and follow the ring...and leave myself a silly message saying shit like "Pick up the damn phone Rich"...
Although the telephone service people said they'll be there this week sometime (which could mean any hour or day) to fix my phone lines, I am really enjoying the quiet...the no-sound of a ringing telephone...and it gives me a terrific excuse for not being able to call people back right away...
I just don't know...I'm having such a hard time with people these days...It's like I always get stuck with someone on the street who wants to have this long ass conversation with me and although I am truly a nice person, sometimes I am playing beat the clock and this type of situation becomes similiar to a really bad toothache...
Since I am also pc-less at home that means MORE SLEEP!...or does it?
I know I said this before but this new apartment is incredible. The sunlight shines through the huge windows, the white walls are clean, it's a totally modern feel...
Saturday night I had to drop a CD off at a club called Adelphia's...The CD was for Frank Cerami...If you listen to MIX 95.7 FM then you know who Frank is...Damn, that station is playing some incredible hits lately...and thanks guys for the cool bumper sticker...I did place it on my car bumper...Now will you just play my record?...
Yesterday, I worked for ESPN TV. Yes, the sports channel.
Unfortuantely I even work Sunday's sometimes. Don't ex-communicate me now from the Catholic Church for working on Sunday...I do keep the Sabath alive wherever I can...
Don't ask me what I did all day for them though...that is, ESPN...I do know it was really boring...it was the most boring ass job I've done in a long time...but I was paid extremely well and served this delicious breakfast so why am I complaining right?...Just let me keep hearing that little cha ching as I walk out of these events or stints and I'll be off and running with a smile...and in this case, a full stomach and nice paycheck...
During the whole course of doing this 2 hour stint I kept worrying about where I parked my car (in a no-parking zone because I was of course running late as usual)...Someone from the ESPN crew forgot to tell me that they were validating my parking..Luckily this huge cancer race was also happening in the area which gave the "park wherever you want to" red flag to be lifted for everyone, according to the way the police looked at the situation...
Later, I found the worrying all to be a waste. My car was totally fine.
I am here at work now relaxing at my desk after a weeks worth of driving myself nuts. My work load is still a little heavy and I am trying the best I can to get this apartment exactly the way I want it to look...
Truly I prefer simplicity...all white walls and paintings...nothing else...not even furniture...just this one big art gallery look...but how is one to live in a room full of nothing?...
I am taking my time with it though...buying nice things...which means yes please give me the $10 shower liner instead of that dollar store flimsy one...but I am sure to stay affordable...and buying nice things can get very costly...Remember, it will look like what you paid...Want a cheap chair?...then it's going to look cheap...This holds true for some things...There are times I can make a dollar store item look like I paid a fortune for it...it's all illusion...Just watch Trading Spaces and see what the hell they do with only a $1000 bucks for a whole room...
Oh for Pete's sake will you send in the fuckin' clowns already...enough with all this design talk...I thought I dropped out of design school?
Posted: Monday, September 15th, 2003 9:48 PM
Wow I have been MIA for about 3 weeks now...
Posting has been very difficult for me in the last 3 weeks. I've been extremely busy to say the least...
Well I finally moved into my new apartment and love this new place! There's lots of sunlight each morning shining through the large windows and there are all white walls just like i like it...like an art gallery...
It has been trecherous the last couple of weeks though with moving boxes, carrying furniture, and clothing but it is nice to be out of that old neighborhood
where I was living.
My new neighbors are all extremely nice and helpful...
My Brother and Dad have been such a big help to me during this process. Without them I could not have survived this thing.
My Brother has been helping me to stay motivated and keep the energy up from day one...Where my Brother gets all of his energy from I'll never know...I think I'm just too weak sometimes and tend to slack at weird intervals...so different than when I was younger...I would pull those all nighters in college and go into school the next day wide awaked and pass an exam with flying aces...Oops, excuse the gambling pun...
but thanks to my Brother and my Dad I am finally grounded...and here today for a quick reality check...
My national tv appearance has not yet aired as it is still being edited in New York City. I still can't mention what tv show it is yet as I promised the producer I would wait until he gave me the okay to give commentary about the show after it airs...so I am sticking to my word...
For now if you'd like to catch me on your tv dial, below I will post the dates and times that you can see me (this week) on the PBS TV Kids Breaks. I hope you can tune in this week.
My computer is still not hooked up in my new place yet so I'm trying to keep the journal portion of the site up and running...using PC's everywhere...
Actually without my PC hooked up I've been getting alot of things done faster. And alot more sleep.
I am working on becoming a .COM soon, like real soon, so please stay posted.
I have received all of your emails from the site and will try to respond shortly...
Between having only access to my voicemail (my phone is still not hooked up in my new place) and living off of my cell phone minutes, communication has been very rough.
I am still at work pulling a late nighter...
Ok gotta run...here are the PBS dates below...try to catch them...
Monday Sept. 15th TODAY
Sesame Street 6:30-7:30 AM
Arthur 5 episodes 7:30-10:30 AM
Sesame Street 1:30-2:30 PM
Angellina Ballerina 2:30-5:30 PM
Tuesday Sept. 16th
Sesame Street 6:30-7:30 AM
Clifford 7:30-10:30 AM
Sesame Street 1:30-2:30 PM
Sagwa 2:30-5:30 PM
Wednesday Sept. 17th
Sesame Street 6:30-7:30 AM
Barney 7:30-10:30 AM
Sesame Street 1:30-2:30 PM
Thursday Sept. 19th
Sesame Street 6:30-7:30 AM
Sagwa 7:30-10:30 AM
Sesame Street 1:30-2:30 PM
Clifford 2:30-5:30 PM
Friday Sept. 20th
Sesame Street 6:30-7:30 AM
Sesame Street 1:30-2:30 PM
Arthur 2:30-5:30 PM
Posted: Thursday, August 28th, 2003 11:11 PM
Yea...yesterday I was back in New York...yet again...I seem to be spending alot of time there lately...
I was in New York to tape a huge (and I mean huge) national show. I cannot post the name of the show or why I was on the show at this time as the producer asked the four of us who appeared not to talk about the project until after it airs. Then I believe I can give commentary on the show if I'd like to.
Know this though...the producer found me right here at my website...so I am starting to realize that this online journal isn't just a place where I, and only I, come to hang out anymore...People are online with me reading this shit I post here...and with that comes responsibility...and my responsibility today is to tell you that yes I indeed had a fuckin' blast doing this show for national tv, but I must remain responsible and hushed for awhile as this is what our producer wants us to do...so I will obey...and be a good boy for once...
I had to be in New York City by 10:30 AM for this tv shoot...
You know what that meant right?...That meant getting up at ass crack o'clock in the morning, going through the whole showering and grooming ritual...then racing to the Big Apple to get there on time...I am starting to really take punctuality seriously these days...Nobody, especially a network tv producer, wants a tardy ass guest...
I figured my best bet would be to do the whole showering parade...but instead of getting dressed here, I just threw on some really cool Gap Jeans and a white t-shirt for the 2 hour ride up...When I got to the location in New York I stopped in Starbucks, had a really great tasting cup of coffee, and then headed into the station to make the transfer from Gap boy to nicely dressed tv guest...
I, along with the male host of this huge show, agreed on one thing in particular...we both liked doing our own make-up...I learned how to do this from working on the air at PBS...and just got better and better at it each time...but although I applied the stage shit just right, I still had this terrible shine all over my face...I think it had to do with the lights...I tend to sweat quickly under hot tv stage lights...
Thank God for the makeup man there who took that shine away like only a network tv artist would know how to do...I thank you for helping me there...
So this show I did will air sometime in September...and I believe promos will run prior...and I'm hoping that after my national 5 million viewer appearance on it things start to upswing somehow...
Wait...what am I saying...you know what...things have been swinging upward lately anyway...
For one...I am finally moving out of this apartment tomorrow...Right now I am sitting at my desk in my bedroom and nothing else is around me but a few last pieces to move that we couldn't get to today because I was playing beat the clock to be at work by 12 noon...
I am very happy with my new apartment...It is so modern and roomy and I am looking forward to this new move tomorrow...
I realized today again just how thankful I am for having such a terrific family...From my Dad helping me put my car back on the road to my Brother who went out of his way today to help me move and make things nice for me I say thank you...Without family you are nothing...always remember that my friends...
After I returned from New York I had one last interview with this other tv show that I am doing this month also...This was a "go over script ideas" interview...
I am not sure what day I am taping this other show yet but neither do they...The Producer and Coordinator told me it's a day to day thing for now and we're not sure when we will shoot...I just hope it's on a calm day and my moving and unpacking is completed by then...
I am so happy I finished that other tv show in New York though...I want to really quickly say hello to my 3 other tv castmates who were on with me that day...Stay in touch would you?...I know we've been through alot over the last year (more on that later) and it was really nice meeting you face to face and being drilled together for 2 hours doing the shoot...but I think we would all agree that it was well worth it...Everyone at the station was truly amazing to us...very sincere...and I thank them for that wonderful day in New York...
Posted: Saturday, August 24th, 2003 1:28 AM
I'm writing this with a little Teddy Pendergrass playing in the background to soothe me...He's on PBS right now...
I'm starting to come out of this bizarre blizzard that this month has smothered me in. If I didn't take a nervous breakdown this month, I probably never will.
Here's a little scenario as to what my life has been like this month...imagine this...
I've been up against the car disaster (which is now fixed except for the hood that I'm still waiting on)...a heavy daily work load...the moving drama...the cd remix release that I am promoting wherever I can find the time to do that...I'm living currently surrounded by boxes and furniture that will be shipped over to my new place this week...my phone keeps ringing off the fuckin' hook every fuckin' day with loads of messages on my machine to be returned from friends, family, and future job prospects...and to top it all off I am taping 2 national tv shows next week that I'm excited about but really can't wait until the 2 shows are finished and I can put them in the bag as completed tasks...
One of these shows asked me for some older tv clips that they wanted me to dub and send to them for use on the talk show...While dubbing the tape for them at work, each old clip I dubbed brought back alot of memories...Besides looking like a total geek in most of them I found myself getting a little melancholy while watching the clips...It was an unpolished version of me...I'm not saying I'm totally polished now, in fact I'm far from it, but these clips made me somewhat uncomfortable while watching them...something I don't make a habbit of doing...
That damn phone...I come home from work everyday to the sound of that fuckin' phone ringing off the wall non-stop...it rings from the time I walk in the door at about 5:30 pm to the wee hours of the morning...and I'm not talking about 5 calls...try like 30 or 40 back to back...the ringing noise drives me fuckin' insane...Each time it rings it's like adding another call to the list of "people to call back"...I just simply stopped answering it at this point...I let the calls roll over to the answering machine and make a list later...Sometimes I truly just want to unplug the damn thing and that will be that...
My phone has never rang this much in my entire life...There are just too many calls to return and conversations are never quick ones...It would be impossible to take all those calls live and have enough time left in the rest of the damn night to complete what needs to be done around here and abroad...
Today, Saturday, was a "do nothing Saturday" though...
I shut myself down completely...slept late...drank Hawaiin Punch to replace my Vitamin C that smoking has been diminishing, and just shook off the bundle of nerves and dramatic shit that has been surrounding me like a hurricane in the last month...
Everything seems to be in place now thank God...
My boxes are just about packed up...the car will be picked up tomorrow in Cape May...and I have about 2 important calls to return tomorrow which I'll do with ease regarding the shows...
When it rains it fuckin' pours...I never had this much on my plate at one time...NEVER...
In a way it feels good to be busy but being overly busy in never good for me...I'm just not 18 anymore...What happened to those days when I was able to pull those fuckin' all nighters and just get everything done in one shot?...It's not good when you don't even have the time to look at yourself in the mirror anymore...I guess if I was a millionaire I'd be able to hire a fuckin' staff to do alot of it...but it doesn't look like I'll be in that situation for a long time...
A real quick thanks to Scott over at Discmakers for the mention in the national Fast Forward Newsletter this month...If you're visiting my site today after finding my website from that newsletter I say welcome!...For a copy of the newsletter go to www.discmakers.com and go to CD Manufacturing...then to Resources...then to Discmakers Fast Forward and sign up for your free years subscription to it...
Ok back to Teddy P...I feel Do Me coming on...Teddy is the fuckin' shit!
Posted: Friday, August 15th, 2003 10:17 AM
Ok where should we begin today?...
I decided to call for a cab this morning since...
#1...I was running late...
#2...My car needs to go back into the shop again...
So my cab arrives and I jump into it looking kind of rushed and anxious and this poor taxi driver was looking at me like I was nuts...
"Where to?", he asks...
I replied, "PBS"...
I should of known better than to say those letters because that is usually followed by a series of tv questions...
So he says to me, "ah ha...that's where I've seen you"...and then follows it up with a series of questions afterwards like "do you plan on moving ahead to the networks?", "what else do you do there besides tv?"...etc...etc...
Still out of breath and a little disheveled I answered each one of his questions about each show he wanted information about and entertained him as much as I could...
So we then get into this talk about life...life in general...and at this point I felt like I was doing an episode of that New York City tv show Taxicab Confessions...
So I started talking and whining about my car disaster...Yes, more drama in the auto department of my life...As The Fuckin World Turns Part 100
A little history first on this situation...
Back in the winter, when we here in Philadelphia were all snowed in and house bound, cars were parked along the side of my street, some even in the middle of it, back to back, and all were unmovable...This was due to the large mountains of snow heeping over each and every car...
Some unknown lunatic on my block parked in front of me and one morning or night decided he was going to try and drive over the mountain of snow but in doing so backed his car right the fuck into my hood...
I never bothered to really take notice of who it was parked in front of me that night before...why would I?...I never bother to take notes like this...
When I came out of the house the next morning to try and shovel some snow away from my buried tires, what I found was my entire front hood hit up like an Indian Teepee...like a damn skyscaper...
I paused for a moment in front of my car in shock at the site of it and thought to myself "now who the fuck would try to drive over this shit without shovelling out first?"...thus, banging the shit out of my car in the dead set of winter...
Anyway, back to current day...I was able to bang down that hood to look somewhat driveable but never fully got the thing fixed...just never had the time to go to the dealer or collision mechanic...excuses excuses...
So the car has been like this for a long while...I recently had some other car repairs done (all but the hood which this shop couldn't do since they don't specialize in collision) and the car has been driving terrific...
My Dad is in from Florida and needed to use it...so he did and I was happy to be able to provide him with the car...after all, he's always helped me out and also helped with the car repairs since I told him to just use it while he's here instead of renting a car for $300 a week...
So he was driving to New Jersey yesterday and the speed of the car and the wind blew the hood up and smashed against the front windshield...He pulled over and made sure everything was okay and then drove to my Aunt's where my car is still parked as I speak...
My first worry was that he was okay of course...and my second is now getting the car towed from New Jersey back into the city and to a glass company...
As I'm telling this story my cab driver was just looking at me as if he was watching LA Law or NYPD Blues...just staring and shaking his head...
Now let's move onto some other shit I said...
My home pc hard drive has now decided it wants to sing...I ran a surface scan...a defrag...a diagnostics test...all on the c drive...but the pc just doesn't want to keep me logged on...I could be in the middle of updating my website and then a sudden freeze...so I reboot and then see this weird message come up stating, "Non-Disc Error"...which basically means my hard drive is going...It looks like I will either need yet another pc or a brand new hard drive...
My cab driver and I then got into the conversation of my moving...and all the drama that comes along with that...the empty boxes all over the fuckin' house...walking around the apartment dodging things as to not trip and break your fuckin' neck...the breakdown of furniture...
This is what I told my driver I was going through...
Once again he just stared in disbelief...shaking his head...
then uttered these words in his broken accent...
"Whya do you tink dees tings seem to pappen to you ehh?"...
At this point I was in front of the station...so I hopped out of the cab...paid him the fee...glanced back over to him and answered, "Yes...Whya do dees tings seem to pappen to me ehh?"...At least he got me to work on time and really was a nice guy...
Posted: Thursday, August 14th, 2003 12:09 PM
I'm meeting with some Paramount TV people on August 21st in some hotel somewhere to talk about script ideas for the Jamie Kennedy Experiment. Yes, believe it or not, I have been offered to do it and have agreed to go on the show and have someone X'd. If you're a close friend of mine please be careful...it just may be you!...
This will be a one day tv taping with Paramount Television where I'll do the show and then appear nationally on the show the day it airs as Jamie's guest. He normally does this with his cast.
Each time I imagine myself in this situation with a friend we'll be X'ing, I laugh my fuckin' ass off...I'm telling you, this show is hillarious...that's why I agreed to do it...
Inside Your Love (the Electric Mix) has not hit store shelves yet but I'll keep you posted on when it does.
Right now I believe the radio test presses are only being sent out to radio stations and dance club dj's across the USA and overseas...I'm not really being too gung ho with this whole release as I really don't want to get stuck into going from club to club again, like I did in the past, surrounded by hot sweaty bodies until 5am, and doing back to back shows performing the same fuckin' tune over and over again...it's like doing Broadway I guess...I was never one for doing plays...I wouldn't even audition for them...I did them in high school and hated it...saying the same lines and doing the same shit night after night after night...I had one agent in New York furious over this at one point in my career..."There are no small parts", she would say, "Just small actors who won't do Broadway"...This occured over the Broadway show Grease in New York that she wanted me to audition for...I just had no interest in it...Just TV and Film...and my music...
Now don't get me wrong, I love my music and I am grateful that I was given the chance to be signed by a national record distribution company, but doing the dance club shows as of now are out...at least for now...I will do the radio station id's and events...but no sweaty clubs right now...I may change my mind later...
No...I've never heard back from the tv series that I went into New York to audition for as a finalist this month...No call means no show...I know the deal by now...so it's time to move on to other auditions and other prospects...
In a way, considering how much shit I have going on around me right now, not doing that show might just be a blessing...then again, maybe I'm just telling myself this crap as to not feel so bad about being someone who out of thousands of people who auditioned...and then was put in their top 30 callbacks...and called into New York as a finalist, and made a fuss over, and then received no call back...maybe I'm just telling myself all this...that I'm better off...as a way of hiding the pain?...just maybe...
By the way, in case you're wondering, the show will be about 13 people stranded in a remote location where they will be no contact with family and friends...and this group of people will be building something...that's as much as I can reveal...
Posted: Monday, August 4th, 2003 10:01 PM
It felt like I was back in those good old early year days last night...The era where I was clueless but had ambition...but no direction...
After getting this bizarre news last night via email that my record company has now decided to release a house/dance mix of a single that I recorded way back and handed over to them that's been siting on their fucking shelves, I felt the need to party a little after hearing the news...It came out of nowhere...
You see, when I recorded my first 2 dance singles years ago I had no record label backing my unsigned ass. I was one of those "unsigned artists" as they call it...One of those, "Oh my day will come" artists...
My Brother and I, before I left Philly to move to Los Angeles, put together my first song in the basement of my parents home. We threw this song onto a 2 track cassette that I used to market myself with in hopes of getting a deal somewhere...I spent countless hours rehearsing tunes like Richie Valens' "You're Mine" with my Father in our basement to build my vocal chords up until I left Philly to run around on the streets of Hollywood, California in search of myself and my new found voice. After all, I did go to a music school...and it was nice to belong to a family of musicians.
In a quick nutshell, (I could never ever retrace every fuckin' step I took), I met a Record Producer named George Reich out in Hollywood. This was in the first month that I was there. I re-recorded this first single in professional format with George in his Hollywood recording studio somewhere on Hollywood Blvd...where all the hookers congregated...
Before I could say "Hello Hollywood here I am", the new demo version of this song left George's studio and began floating around town hitting radio stations there and across the country...including my hometown...
After the demo version gained some popularity (mostly on college radio stations in the USA), with the help of a dj named Vinnie, I was asked to re-record this same song yet again...This time it was for a huge commercial radio station called Q102 back in Philadelphia where their Music Directors expressed interest in the song.
They said they needed an even stronger and more upbeat sound before they could add this song to their playlist. So I re-recorded the song for the third friggin' time. At this point I was tired of singing it...I recorded this 3rd version with another producer named Robert Federici who I met through some record promoters back in Philadelphia. I met him when I flew back home to promote the song and visit my family.
Rob and I remastered this first single just like Q102 had asked...Voilla...before I could say "Hello Philadelphia I'm back in fuckin' town", I was being aired across the country on Q102 and all of their sister commercial radio stations.
It was then the Music Directors at that time, Pam Grund and Glenn Kalina, over at Q102, discovered that I had no recording contract or label to promote me.
"What! He's on our radio station being aired every hour on the hour and he has no label?"...
I was homeless as far as a label was concerned and didn't know who to turn to in order to set things right...How is an artist going to be aired on a station like this with no label?...It can be done my friends...I should know...
The staff at this Q102 station helped me build popularity with this first song airing me daily and sending me out on dance club tours around the city to promote the station and the song...I was doing 2 shows a night and I was exhausted...My best friend became the limo driver who actually even picked out my wardrobe and made a change here and a change there...
Not long after my song was airing for about a month in heavy rotation I found a home for my song...a label at last...You see, when you get on the radio the labels find you!...It was a recording label called Hot International Records based in Miami, Florida that took a chance on me...
Hot was run by Henry Stone and Paul Kline best remembered for discovering acts like KC and the Sunshine Band...Good ole KC, where are you these days?...
Hot had international distribution and marketed some really cool acts and since I didn't have a ton of record companies banging down my door, I signed on with this label. They then took over all of the promotion for me and saved me alot of footwork that I no longer had to do...This included visiting record stores, checking sales, calling stations requesting my own song...I did it all...I was a one man army...My Mother and I before that would call stations all day long requesting the single...My Mother would say, "they're going to know it's you!...No unknown artist gets this many calls"...She was right...Mothers are always right...
Now instead of Hot calling my first single their very own, they requested a new single from me..."We want something new"...My second single finally surfaced...which got some radio play but not as much as my first single had gotten...Ooo that dreaded second single...The single all artists fear...
Through Paul Kline over at Hot in Miami, I then found another record producer named Bobby LA LaSerra who also worked for Paul and I was asked by Paul to meet Bobby at his New York recording studio.
Hot wanted me to put together some remixes of a song I recorded with Rob Federici ealrier that i turned into them but wanted us to turn it into a more upbeat powerful dance single.
I met Bobby at his home where he signed me to his Strong Island Records label (a sub label of Hot)...
It was in New York where Bobby remastered a tune called Metropolis for me that was released by Strong Island with Hot Records covering all of the international distribution.
The single did pretty well airplay and club wise acorss the country...but for some reason my hometown never really jumped on the bandwaggon and aired the single the way they did my first...
When I finished out my 3 singles deal with Hot instead of renewing my contract I met with a guy named Woody Dyer, who I actually had some dealings with in my past before my Hot Records Label signing, and Woody set me up with some folks at his distribution label called Universal Records.
Universal, based on my proven marketability, decided to approve me in having my own sub label which they would cover distribution for...The deal was, I would pick my Producers, record the tracks the way i wanted to, keep my publishing, and then turn the masters over and they would distribute my songs worldwide...
It was a song called Inside Your Love that I gave them that they liked and decided to distribute a CD5 for featuring Freestyle Dance club and radio mixes for...
but you see there was this one mix (a sort of electrical/house mix) that sat on the back burner at this time and was never really marketed or released...
So this mix just sat and sat...
I received news last night that this hidden mix that I thought had gone un-noticed was now found...and would now be released around the world this month marketed as a brand new single of mine...
Although Inside Your Love was recorded some time ago, this mix of the song never really got a fair hand shake...until now...
The mix is electric and powerful...
It is one of my songs that I have to say that I am truly most proud of...
So with this news last night of this international release for this old but new mix, my friends decided we would go out for dinner at a very nice place in Philadelphia called "Buca di Beppo"...
We entered this restaurant last night and was given a tour of the whole place by this really cool waitress who just moved here from Chicago...
We sat down after our tour, glanced at the $30 a plate menu which I felt was a little steep for a remix, but considering this place offered real live Italian food straight off the fuckin' boat from Sicily, I wasn't complaining...
Real quick...If you are looking to impress a date or just chill out with some friends at a really terrific restaurant then I suggest you try Buca. They are located in Philadelphia around 15th and Walnut...The food is extraordinary and the waiters and waitresses are honestly friendly!...I mean this...
Ok back to my little story...
After dinner it was off to this club my friends and I occasionally hang out in on Sunday nights...I had a radio station promo CD in hand of the new mix my record label has now decided to release so I took one into the club with me to give it to the dj as a "you heard it here first" sort of thing...
The DJ's name was Fred...I had became friends with Fred years ago when my first single came out...
Not long after I handed him the CD I went over to the bar with my friends for a beer and while sitting there I heard the song start to blast from the dance club speakers and it quickly filled the room...
Nobody in the club knew it was my song so nobody felt the need to get up and dance just to be nice to me...
I was anonymous on that bar stool...and when I watched people dance and move their fuckin' asses around to this mix I felt that my label had made the right decision to do this at this point in time...
I kept wondering why wasn't this released earlier?...Why wasn't it found?...I guess it is really all about timing?...
To pay homage to my dj friend Fred, I bought him a Baccardi and Coke...his favorite...and I asked him what he honestly thought about the remix?...He said "your label knows what the hell they're doing...so just sit back and let them do it...this is a great tune"...
I felt like that little 19 year old teenager that once occupied a zillion and one Philadelphia and New York City dance clubs lurking around passing cassette demos out to everyone and anyone in hopes of finding some fuckin' direction...I was without a label back then...running around in vintage clothing...barging in on dj's in their booths...and just giving cassettes to everyone and anyone...those were the fuckin' days...
This time when I handed the dj the CD (gone are the cassettes) I felt a little more mature and solid about doing it...a cool handshake...a "hey how have you been?"...I knew I now had a label behind me and at least the dj knew who I was this time...no scarry "who the fuck are you" look in his eyes...
this comes from getting radio attention I think...I really learned how important getting your shit aired on commercial radio is if you really want to be taken seriously in this screwed up business...
Do I want to go back into a full stream recording career?...Not really...but having another song on the radio again here and there in the middle of all this TV stuff I am doing would be a little break...a break from the same ole "I'm ready for my fuckin' closeup now Mr. Magill" life that I now lead in so called tv land...
So in closing I ask that if you have a little time in your day to request my single "Inside Your Love: The Electric Mix" I would really appreciate the radio station call ins and requests...
If you're in Philly you know what to do right?...the Q102 request number is 215-263-1021...If you're one of my readers outside of Philly, like in Gualm, you can call your local dance music radio stations...Just tell them Richie sent ya...if they remember who the fuck I am?
Dust In The Wind...All We Are Is Dust In The Wind
Posted: Wednesday, July 30th, 2003 6:09 PM
I've got to be really careful. The song "Dust In The Wind" has been playing in the back of my mind now for three days. I feel it pushing itself on me and trying to put me into some sort of depression...but I keep blocking the tune out and fighting off any signs
of depression heading my way.
This is kind of hard though considering I have so much on my mind and so much to do that needs to be done. I've got car problems number one...
I haven't been feeling mighty spirited at my GA Meetings number two...
I've got a list of things that need to be accomplished, and on top of all of this shit I am busy as hell packing every night for my move out of this apartment and horrible neighborhood (which is actually a good thing that I'm really excited about)...
But Dust In The Wind keeps playing...It's not like I heard this song recently and it is stuck in my subconscious somehow...no...that would be too easy...This song just popped out of nowhere and has remained in my head and is running over and over again...
Singing the tune depresses the shit out of me yet I find myself humming the tune all day long in my mind and even sometimes out loud...I've really got to be careful here...
I haven't been sleeping much again...just blowing like dust in the wind trying to get everything accomplished...Saying I have been spreading myself too thin would be an understatment...
I haven't heard anything back from those Producers in New York City regarding that TV series I auditioned for...at this point they're doing me a favor though...If I have to think about one more major crisis or event I will take a nervous breakdown...
I'm still smiling though whenever and wherever I can...just blowing like dust in the wind...
I really felt like dust in the wind last night when I walked into my GA Meeting and nobody was there yet...just me...alone...Since the meeting starts right at seven I decided to leave at 7:05 and call it a "cancelled no show" meeting...but as I was leaving the place two other GA Members showed up so as they say, "all it takes is two people to have a meeting"...
Since there were three of us, we were able to spend more time in open meeting forum style and it actually turned out to be a good meeting...to just sit back and relax and belt shit out...
When I left and was walking out to my car these young girls hanging on the street corner decided that tonight I would be called by my tv channel rather than my name...I thought that it was funny considering they were shouting my tv channel at me as if to say "we watch you on tv" but I guess they don't watch enough to remember my name...just kept shouting out the tv channel name...what is one to do I ask?...
but then again...dust in the wind...all we are is dust in the wind...
Being A Rosati
Posted: Saturday, July 26th, 2003 10:04 PM
I was asked this question in New York by the Producers of that show during my last interview...
"What is your relationship like with your Dad since your Mother has passed?"...
As I grow older I see just how important my family really is to me. I remember living back in Los Angeles with my friends and being without family. I was younger and I guess more of a bit like a biting bull.
Since my Mother has passed away I have grown to rely more these days on my Father's parental advice even though we don't live together. I mean, I always asked my Dad's advice when I was a young boy, but I was always a Mama's boy before her death and I guess the youngest always seems to stay clinged to Mom's waist-line for some reason.
I love my Dad to death. My Father is a good man to people. He is the type of person who would give you the last sip of water on a hot desert if you were lost out there in the wilderness with him. I remember one time I was out in the woods in the Poconos with him. He told me that it would be cold out there but I insisted on going. He was right. I wore these thin boots in the snow and froze my ass off. I remember my Dad wrapping blankets around my legs to help me stay warm. Eventually I had to admit that I couldn't take the cold and we had my Uncle Vic pick me and my other cousin up who also was freezing his ass off. I think back to that day and see what a loving Dad he was.
I talk to my Father everyday. Since I've grown and my Mother has passed, my Father and I have really connected more. He has watched me grow from a compulsive gambler to the open, honest, sincere human being I have become today. Like when I was a little boy.
We've always connected in the past, but now our connection is really strong. I am alot like my Father in many ways. We get bored fast...we love to create drama to kill the boredom...but we are sincere people with good hearts. My whole family is this way though...Good loving people who hug all the time and if ever in an argument we never go to bed angry. We always make up. Grudges are not good. Never ever go to bed angry.
Although my brother looks like my Dad more, I act like my Father more.
It is times when I bomb auditions or just feel like total fuckin' crap that my Dad and I are either on im together chatting or talking on the telephone where he builds my hopes back up...When I am down he always tells me that "things will happen" and he gives me strong religious regions why something occured.
My Dad is very religious. I have grown closer to the Lord through my Dad. I believe my whole family has grown in faith because of his inner belief in Him.
My Dad is now remarried to a very loving woman who always treats me special as well when I am with them. Today she was promoted at her job and she deserves it!Everyone congratulate her (Applause)...
I've got alot of cousins and seem to be stuck somewhere in the middle of my whole family. I think I ventured out into the unknown at a very early age persuing this crazy entertainment business as a way of standing out. When I left for Los Angeles I left alone on that airplane. I sat there and just thought to myself, "where am I going?"..."and for what reason?"...
My Father said to me when I left that "you will always have a home". Those words always stuck in my mind when I was out there trying to find myself.
After I achieved some success ( a tv show here, a tv show there), I felt then that he and my Mother back home in Philly knew why I left. As I climbed and climbed and they were actually able to see me on tv, I think they felt a little better. "At least he is working" they must have thought...
I still got the blues out there though because family was not there with me. L.A. city life can really get to you sometimes.
When I was in Hollywood, the people I met were
all strangers. They were not family. People can get to you out there...just giving to get something, always wanting something back. That's how L.A. people can be...but not always...maybe I'm safer saying that "that's how people in the "business" can be"...
Yes there were friendly faces, but it was not family friendly. Not like my very own family.
When I get lonely and I need to be, loved for who I am and not what the world wants to see, I turn to my family because they've always been there for me...we have this connection...
Your family is a reminder of your history. My family holds the key to my heart and soul now and forever...
When I look back on all the misery or heartache I've ever felt at times in my life, I wouldn't change it for another chance...because through it all I have found that my family's blood was always thicker than any other circumstance...and they've always pulled me through any chaos that I had gotten myself into or chaos that had somehow someway found me...
I am not saying that I will never live in Los Angeles again or venture out into the unknown...because I don't know what tomorrow will bring...but I do know that if I am ever away again I will always stay connected to my family...
Sky's The Limit
Posted: Friday, July 25th, 2003 9:20 PM
I received a very strange telephone call at work yesterday from this woman. She said her name was Sky, and she was the Aunt and family Publicist for little A.J. Melendez from Fox's American Juniors.
AJ, if you don't know already, is a finalist on the Fox TV Show American Juniors. This show is a replica of American Idol, but it features da little boys and girls doing their thing...all competing to be America's Junior Idol.
So Sky and I got to talking (for about a 1/2 hour) about ways to help promote little AJ in hopes that he could take the win on this show.
Sky explained to me what the Melendez family has been up against during this time. It seems they were living out of a suitcase travelling up and back to Los Angeles during pre-finals...until AJ made it as an actual finalist on the show thanks to your votes and now those American Junior Producers have put the family up in a luxurious hotel. This has made participating on this show alot less hectic for the Melendez's without all of that travelling back and forth each week.
By the way, let me not fail to mention that little AJ is from Delaware. I promised Sky that I would spread the word to my media contacts, and to you all, encouraging you all to please watch American Juniors on Fox TV and when prompted to call in to vote for the finalists, be sure to say how much you LOVE AJ MELENDEZ!...
Come on people of Delaware, Philadelphia, and New Jersey...he's a local boy!
Vote AJ Melendez!
Here's some info on him for you below this post...
And Sky, if you are reading this today...let me know if I can be of any other help to your family?...
Ok here's AJ...
<"http://www.americanjuniors.com/contestants/aj.htm">
Posted: Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003 11:56 AM
I have been smoking and drinking caffeine entirely too much this past month.
You know it is time to quit smoking when you pull the cigarette up to your mouth only to find yourself gagging and feeling like you have to throw your guts up. I cannot do this anymore. I am on the quest to quit smoking now. Coffee may be a problem though as I do love caffeine.
No, nothing yet on that TV show I auditioned for...and it's been 4 business days already. I'll know I officially bombed it if I don't hear anything from them
by August 11th...since that is the day the aircraft will leave for the filming location. The more I sit in front of my TV set and watch these
types of shows the more I want to do this one show in particular.
I have been feeling lazy. I have been slacking on house duties, too tired to be career minded, and just to sit here and type in my journal
is like lifting a couple of thousand pound weights for me. Somebody spot me here. I'm just too tired to type.
I was at my GA Meeting last night and just to be there was like pulling water from stone. I really didn't want to be there but knew it might do me good.
I think running this group is what makes me feel a little over committed...but I know I can give up this part of it anytime I wanted to...
Maybe if I quit smoking I will feel better? Maybe if I stop worrying about every little detail in my life so much I'll feel healthier? Maybe if I take myself to the fuckin' gym like I promised myself I would do this summer I would feel alot stronger?...
Maybe Maybe Maybe...I'm sick of maybe's...who knows...I'm really much too tired to think about this shit right now...
More later
Just Do What You Know Right Now
Posted: Sunday, July 20th, 2003 12:13 AM
Alot of crazy shit is happening to me right now...what else is new right?...
About a month ago I applied for this new reality tv show which I can't post the name of right now due to a privacy release form that I signed...but I will try my best to explain some things that have happened recently without giving away details as I promised when I signed the release...
When I applied for this new show I really didn't expect to hear anything back...My life so far has been cluttered with lots of serious rejections throughout the years. Yes it's true I have had my share of success stories, but for every successful thing that I've ever accomplished or for every wonderful thing that has ever happened to me there have always been a zillion and one rejections in between the success stories...
About 2 weeks ago, after more than a months wait, I got this call at work from one of the Producers from this new show who called me from his New York office stating that he wanted me to call him back to do a telephone interview. When I attempted to call him back I was sent to his voicemail where I left a series of messages regarding where the best place was to reach me...and at what hour...
I gave him info as to where the most private places were and what times I could actually sit down and talk to answer his questions...
We played phone tag for about a day or two...then we finally talked live...I was at my desk in work and the call was sent to another extension...The person transferred the call to my desk and voilla...the producer and I were finally linked to one another live...
This phone conversation was to let me know that I was being considered as a potential cast member for the show but they needed some additional information about me and my life...
We talked...I opened up about my current living situation...and told them how depressed I was living in Philly and my reasons for wanting to do this show...
I was asked by this producer to send in a 3 minute video tape after the call had ended along with some other information...like a copy of my driver's license, a pic or two, a 12 page lengthy application to fill out the he emailed me, and a release form to sign...
I finally completed this 3 minute video tape and application which I was going to send overnight express to them...
On Tuesday I was called again...this time a message was left on my home answering machine by another producer from the show asking me to once again call them back...
When I called back I spoke to the same producer from the first call...He asked me if I could come up to New York and instead of overnighting my videotape to them, they wanted me to come up in person to meet them face to face. They said that I could bring the tape with me and that I was now a chosen finalist at this point.
My heart raced. I quickly had to make some serious schedule changes in order to go up to New York for this finalist interview.
The day came where I was set to go. I figured instead of driving it would be best to just take a bus or train to the Big Apple. New York is only a 2 hour ride from Philly and since my car has not been very reliable lately (it likes to stall occasionally when it feels fit). I figured I could take a train or bus ride and just relax and collect my thoughts during the ride...without the worry of the car making it or not...So that was what I did...
I found out that there was a Greyhound bus to New York leaving at 9am and arriving at 11am...My interview was at 12 noon so I figured this would give me an extra hour or so to get to the West Village and have a couple of smokes to relax me before I went into the building...
I left at 9am after rushing to get to Greyhound on time and playing beat the clock all morning long. Thank God for the Yellow Cab that drove passed me at 8:55am on the street who rushed me to Greyhound in time for departure.
With a bottle of Pepsi in hand and my black duffle bag filled with the tape, application, among other things, I boarded the bus not knowing what the hell I was about to get myself into at this interview when I got to New York...
I think what scared me was the fact that out of thousands of people, I was one of their finalists now...and how does one live up to that title?...All I kept saying to myself was "how the fuck was I chosen out of thousands and why?"...No wait, I do know why...maybe it was because I delivered to them the factual shit that exists in my life...like being a compulsive gambler in recovery and every other piece of chaotic drama that is entangled into the chaotic world of just being me...
I arried in New York right on schedule...I took the subway from 37th street down to the West Village and was left off at the Houston Street exit...From there I could either go east or west...I knew the address and was told it was on the west side of the village so I started walking over to the west side location...
I remembered while walking that I still needed to make copies of that 12 page document that they asked me to fill out since I literally cut and scotch taped the shit out of the document after typing it and printing it out...While filling it out since the file was a pdf file and I couldn't stretch the answers section, and there wasn't enough room below each question to fit my answers, I just cut and taped away...Brought me back to my college days when I used to do this on many projects...
I found a small stationary shop somewhere on 6th Avenue so I made my little copies for 10 cents a copy...amazing price for New York City I must say...
I got down to the location where I was to report for this on camera interview and to my surprise the address did not exist...That was when I panicked...It was about 11:45 and in 15 minutes I was to be in the building for this interview and didn't have a clue where this building stood...
I called my friend Debi on my cell who once lived in New York...In a panic I yelled, "Where the fuck am I Deb?...The address doesn't exist!"...
Debi said, "Calm down...you'll find it...it may be on the east side?"...I knew I'd be late for this interview at this point...
With sweat rolling down my face Debi said, "Hop in a cab and ask him to take you to the east side of the village"...so I did...
I hailed a cab in the middle of 6th Avenue and the cab driver asked me where I was going?...I told him the address and he said, "The cross streets you are giving me is here on the west side not east"...I said, "Well I was there and the building doesn't exist!"...
He suggested he take me back down to where I was and said we would find it together...He was a really nice driver who DIDN'T take me on one of those "I know you're not from New York long cab rides"...He actually felt bad for me I guess...
My cab ride only turned out to be $4.00...Once again, AMAZING price for New York City...
As we drove back to where I was originally standing before calling Debi I looked over one street and saw the address as big as the sun...It turned out that the building was not on Houston Street after all...but on Greenwich...I was only about 7 minutes late so I rushed into the building still sweating to death...
I made it up to the 8th floor where I was told the interview would take place...There was a sign on the door that said "Finalists please call this extension"...I was more worried about finding a bathroom at this point to dry the sweat from my face and forehead rather than dialing the extension...
As I was dialing the extension one of the producers came to the door and said, "Richie?"...
It was nice to see they were actually waiting for me...
I said, "Yes I'm Richie"...He asked me to follow him into the offices as I started explaining to him why I was 7 minutes late...He said, "Don't worry about it...7 minutes is no big deal...we're just glad you're here in New York"...
Now the fun began...
I was asked to read and sign another release form which gave them permission to film my interview...and if I made the show the liberty to use that footage on the actual show...
I was then pulled aside and asked "not to speak to any of the other finalists when they walked into the office awaiting for their interviews as well"...I was told that these might be people who will actually be on the show with me if I am selected and they didn't want us to build any type of alliance or friendship before the show started filming...At this point only one other person came into the waiting room with me...a man who had dark hair, a goatee, and was heavier than I was...We did not speak to one another as requested by the producers...This felt kind of awkward but I obeyed the producer's request...
I finally made it to the bathroom where I dried myself off of sweat, combed my hair, and called Debi back to let her know I was there safely...There was so much fuckin' drama just getting to this place that I thought to myself, "Damn...I do deserve to be on this show"...
When I came out of the bathroom another producer came out and said they were ready for me...I followed him into this huge room filled with 3 other producers who were all sitting there in the room...There was also a camera there pointing directly at me and a sound man. They were all sitting around this huge board room type table. The sound man began to mic me up as the producers began giving me the guidelines as to what was about to go down in that room.
"Pull up the back of your shirt Richie", the sound man said. Once the mic was on and working, I was asked to have a seat at the other end of this table and told that each producer would now begin to drill me with questions for the next half an hour...
And drill they did...
Gambling questions...questions about my life...my Mother...my ups, my downs...how do I deal with conflict?...It was a free for all...I told them I felt like I was under surveillance.
I was asked to not look at the camera but to answer the questions directly looking at each of the 4 producers...
My answers were honest...sincere...and by the time the interview was over I was pretty sure that these 4 producers had some idea of who I was and what kind of life I lead...
When the interview was over, each one thanked me for coming to New York...As the sound guy took the mic off of my back belt, I was once again asked while walking out to not look at or speak to any of the other finalists who were waiting outside...When I came out of the room there were now 2 finalists sitting out there...That same guy and an older woman...I can't remember what she looked like though as I was trying not to look at her...
I left the building and replayed in my mind everything that went down in that room...
So here I was in New York City alone thinking of where to go to next?...Back home?...nah...too early...Wander around town?...Sure, why not...I decided to hang for awhile in the village...
I had lunch and then walked down Broadway...I ended up at Ground Zero...I know, what a walk...and it exhausted me...So I went to Ground Zero...I forgot to mention that I even bumped into Joe Millionaire...What a weird celebrity sighting that was...Too much reality shit in one day for me...I actually bumped into Joe before my interview took place rigth after I got off the bus...He was standing there with some girl...
So here I am today back to my normal routine...The next time I hear from these people will be to provide me with one of three things...
1...Congratulations...you are on our show...
2...We need to interview you yet again...
3...Sorry but you did not make it...
The airplane departure for those of us who do make it will be sometime in mid-August...Since I am in the midst of packing up yet again for a September 1st move out of this apartment, all I can do now is just "do what I know"...keep packing and just see what happens...
If I make the show I will bring my things over to the new place before time...and depart on the date they tell me to report to the airport...
If I don't make the show I guess my life will resume back to its normal everyday routine...
I do know that I must keep packing as the move is definite...so I have begun packing...
I made a plan of action though in an Excel document to outline what I'll need to do if I do make the show...(tell work...etc...)...I am still moving into the apartment but in case I need to be away for awhile to do this show I'll still need a place to live when I return...so I'll be paying for the apartment in advance anyway...
I know the show tapes for about 8 weeks...but each week someone will be evicted...so if I get this show I can last anywhere from 1-8 weeks...
I wish I can give more details about the name and network but with these types of shows there is a strong privacy clause in the release you sign...so I must remain hushed...I guess once it starts airing I can give more details...that is, if I get on...We'll soon see...
More later...
..Wait..What Are You Saying?
..TaxiCab Confessions
..Last Night A DJ Saved My Life...With A Song
