"You can huff and puff and puff... God, I'm making a pig joke of myself!" 

"Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's okay if you are." 

"If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?" 

"Up your butt called, he wants your head back." 

"A lot of people forget that on the 'Drew Carey show' Ryan and I have been totally naked." 
Ryan: Of course, some of us needed a wide angle lens. 
"And some of us needed a zoom." 

"I'm taking five million points. I'm sending them to Canada to teach people how to rap!" 

(after Gangsta Rap) 
Wayne: My mom's gonna be proud of that one. 
"That's right. Hey, 1,000 points to your mom, what the hell?" 

(from "Celebrity Millionaire) 
Regis: What is it called if you've been set up to go to dinner with someone you don't know? 
"Show business." 

{After Scene to Rap} 
Drew: I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer! But it doesn't work that way. 
[A stagehand fills up Drew's coffee cup and slams it down on the desk. Drew turns, startled.] 
Drew: What the fuck was that? [picks up the cup and slams it down] More ale, wench! 

{An Irish Drinking song about Drew} 
Wayne: He has short hair and glasses! 
Drew: And other things that aren't so short.... 

"We'll be right back with more 'Whose Line', minus Ryan Stiles, right after this."

"I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power."