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GEMINI
BY TROG
CHAPTER
5



Chapter 5


“I love your hair,” said Tea, as she fingered Rachel Gannon’s braids. Her hair was shoulder length and plaited into dozens of tiny braids, reminding Tea of RJ.

“Kind of like Uncle RJ’s, ha? I was tired of fighting with my curly hair. This is just easier to maintain and with my new job, I don’t have time to primp.”

They sat on Tea’s sofa sipping mint tea from white porcelain cups with delicate peach roses painted on them, a wedding gift from her grandmother.

“Congratulations on the promotion by the way,” said Tea, referring to Rachel being appointed director of an outreach facility that helped women freshly released from prison to integrate back into society.

“Thanks.”

“I’m so glad you’re here, Rachel. It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other and now that you’ve moved to New Jersey we can see each other all the time. Thank you again for being my maid of honor.”

“Did you think I’d refuse?”

Tea set her cup in its saucer and sat up straight.

“I suppose I did. We sort of lost touch after the whole Georgie Phillips thing.”

“Correction. We lost touch after you fell in love with Todd Manning. He never did like to share, specially when it came to you.”

Tea stiffened and looked away, getting up.

“You know, Tea, I never got to apologize to him. I mean, I did allow him to get crucified for Georgie Phillips’ murder. I just stood by and let him take the rap knowing how terrified he was of prison.”

Tea stared at her, a bit of resentment surfacing. Even after all this time, her first instinct was still to defend Todd from everyone, even from Rachel.

“That was a long time ago.”

“I know. But it still bothers me. I made peace with everyone I hurt, accept the person I hurt most...Todd. I want you to know I would have never let him go to prison, Tea. I was so afraid back then, such a coward...so afraid of everything. I guess I just hoped it would all go away, but...it didn’t. I thought mommy and daddy would just take care of it the way they always did. Instead, it just blew up in my face and affected so many lives.”

Tea closed her eyes to stave of the pain of that memory. It was that incident which hurled Todd into a downward spiral, back to a place of mistrust and paranoia, leading to his faking DID and the destruction of their lives together. How often she’d wondered how different things might have been if it hadn’t happened. Tea sat down again and took Rachel’s hand.

“Rachel. You’re not that woman anymore.”

“No, I’m not,” she said, smiling confidently, taking a sip of tea. “But, enough about the past. Tell me about your man, girlfriend.”

Tea blushed and giggled a little. Getting up she reached for her handbag and pulled out her wallet. Removing a photograph, she handed it to Rachel. The photo was of a man in his mid-thirties with sandy, brown hair and deep blue eyes, handsome and amiable.

“This man is smokin...so hot! How did you meet him?”

“Would you believe, Starbuck’s?”

They both laughed.

“I’ve got to start drinking more coffee,” said Rachel, returning the photo to Tea.

“I can’t wait for you to meet him. Paul is a real estate developer. His company builds huge skyscrapers. He plays jazz piano and loves Tejano music. He’s so great. I’m always smiling when I’m with him.”

Tea slipped the photo back into her wallet noticing the picture of her and Todd that she kept forgetting to remove from behind it. It was taken after they took off together in one of those photo booths at a shopping mall. He was kissing her hair, whispering something in her ear and making her laugh...a genuinely happy moment.

“So, you finally found a man who made you forget Todd Manning.”

Tea sighed and stood up, throwing her wallet aside angrily.

“Why the hell does everyone keep bringing up Todd Manning! Yes, yes, poor, pathetic Tea is finally over Todd Manning! Contrary to popular belief it is possible to get over Todd Manning. Todd loves Blair, that’s where he wants to be and I’m with Paul. Could you please stop with the Todd mentions already? Am I strictly defined by this man? Is that all I’ve become, the woman Todd Manning dumped?”

Tea stopped, embarrassed by her emotional eruption, and walked out of the livingroom, rushing into the kitchen.

A stunned Rachel set down her teacup and followed her. Tea was leaning over the counter, clearly upset, her hand wiping her eyes.

“Tea? I’m so sorry...that was thoughtless of me. Are you okay?”

She turned around and nodded quietly, pushing her long hair back.

“Yeah. Oh, Rachel, I’m so sorry for going off on you like that. I’m just so tired of defending myself to everyone: to Del, to Carlotta, to Rosanna...Antonio. God...hasn’t anyone ever been in love? Am I the only one who believed in forever? I know that no one approved of Todd and me, but we loved each other...and, I know there was a lot of bad stuff, but I’m having a hard time forgetting the good stuff. It’s not like I don’t know it’s over, Rachel, I do. He left me on an island to go back to Blair for God’s sake! It’s just this wedding, it makes me and Todd just feel so final. Do you know what I mean? Todd is with Blair, they have two kids, and here I am getting married and soon I’ll probably have kids...,”she said, her hand carelessly touching her flat belly. “I have this vision of Todd and I running into each other when we’re middle-aged...and feeling...nothing. And that prospect terrifies me because it would prove that, indeed, love isn’t forever...that it’s just...ordinary, and when it ends you get another...like leasing a car for three years, then trading it in for a new one. That love is that generic...,” she said with lament. “Todd and I are over, I know that but for some reason...it still hurts like hell,” she said. “Oh, God...I feel so foolish. I don’t know what’s wrong with me?”

Rachel walked over and hugged her tightly.

“Oh, honey, I completely understand. What you and Todd had was very powerful, even I could see that. You’re a one-man woman, Tea...you’re just one of those people who love with everything in you and commit completely...and it’s hard to let go of those feelings. But, you love Paul, right? He makes you happy, Tea?”

Tea pulled away and wiped her face.

“Can I be honest with you, Rachel.”

“I want you to be.”

“Yes, Paul is great, he makes me happy. And everyone loves him, my friends, my family...he just fits into my life so perfectly. I do love him, I mean, everybody loves him, but not in the way I loved Todd. The truth is I don’t want to love Paul that way, or anyone. With Todd, there was always this separation anxiety, this need to be near each other...like if we parted, we’d stop existing. That’s how it felt for a long time for me...walking around like shadow. We were so connected...symbiotic...I felt his joy, his love, his pain...everything emotion enhanced by his presence. And when we made love...it was so...,” Tea looked away in obvious pain. “I don’t love Paul that way, I’ll never love anybody that way, but I’ve made peace with that, Rachel. I know that will never happen again and I won’t waste my life waiting for it. I won’t live my life alone! Maybe that sounds like I’m settling...but, I want a life, damn it...I want a family! Is that so wrong?”

“No, no...of course not. But, Tea, are you sure about this?”

“Yes, completely sure. In ten days I will be Mrs. Paul Adams. I intend for this to be my last marriage,” she said, feeling more composed. “And now I’m taking you for a fitting so you can see your dress.”

“Please just tell me it isn’t seafoam green,” said Rachel.

Tea laughed.

“Mi amiga, it’s scarlet red. You and Rosanne are going to look gorgeous.”

“Not as gorgeous as the bride, I’m sure.”


*****

2003 Copyright by Trog







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