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IN SICKNESS

BY TIMA

CHAPTER

106





PREVIOUSLY:

Tea: I think you should rethink that.

Todd: I think that we need to get back in the car and get some shopping done before all the stores around here close.

[Tea leans closer to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.]

Todd: What was that for?

Tea: Because I felt like it.

Todd: Maybe we should skip the shopping and go right to the room.

Tea: Maybe we should.

[Todd takes Tea's hand in his again and leads her toward their motel room.]

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IN SICKNESS
chapter 106:

[Todd enters their motel room first and turns on the light.]

Todd: Maybe I should turn the light back off so you'll actually want to stay.

[Tea walks passed him and into the room, surveying it.]

Tea: I definitely want to stay.

Todd: It's a dump. Let me take you somewhere better.

Tea: This is perfect. You are perfect.

Todd: Are you trying to butter me up for something?

Tea: Consider it foreplay.

Todd: I was never any good at that.

Tea: That, Mr. Manning, is simply not true.

Todd: Whatever!

Tea: We could go for a walk.

Todd: Why?

Tea: It might help us relax.

Todd: Are you uptight about this?

Tea: No.

Todd: I get it. You think I am. You're wrong.

Tea: I don't want you to feel pressure.

Todd: I always feel pressure.

Tea: From me?

Todd: From me. I want this to be whatever the hell you want it to be. I just never have a clue what that is.

Tea: You know exactly what I want. You always do.

Todd: You want me to hold you.

Tea: See? You know.

[Todd moves into Tea's personal space. His hand lightly caresses her cheek as he stares into her eyes.]

Todd: Nothing will take you away from me.

Tea: I want to believe that.

Todd: Believe it. You're stuck with me.

Tea: I like the sound of that.

Todd: You like being stuck with a loser like me?

Tea: You are not a loser.

Todd: What am I?

Tea: You're my husband. You're the man who makes me feel safe.

[Todd pulls away from her and approaches the only window in the room. He pulls back the drape and stares out at nothing in particular.]

Tea: When I was sick, I felt very safe in your arms.

Todd: We're not talking about that.

Tea: After everything we've been through, how can you not believe that you make me feel safe?

Todd: You only remember the parts you want to. You're always doing that.

Tea: I remember everything, including the way you took care of me. I remember how protective you were, how gentle.

Todd: Okay, fine! If you want to go for a walk, we'll go for a walk.

[Todd stalks across the room and flings open the door. Tea quickly approaches him.]

Tea: Wait! Let's stay here.

Todd: I'm going. You can do whatever you want.

[Todd hurries out of the room. Tea follows him to a nearby beach. They both stare at the ocean for a long time without speaking.

When Todd finally looks at her again, he notices that her arms are wrapped around herself.]

Todd: Are you cold?

Tea: No.

Todd: Why are you doing that?

Tea: What?

Todd: Hugging yourself.

[Tea immediately drops her arms to her sides.]

Todd: Are you thinking about it?

Tea: Yes.

Todd: We had a deal.

Tea: Even if I don't have cancer this time...

Todd: Don't say that word.

Tea: ...it will still be with us.

[Tea returns her gaze to the ocean.]

Tea: There was a time when I could have stood here and felt nothing.

Todd: Don't you want that back?

Tea: No. Having cancer changed my life...for the better.

Todd: That's nuts. It totally screwed everything up.

Tea: It brought us back together. Even if it wasn't exactly how I had envisioned our reunion, we would have wasted more time being apart, had it not been for my illness. For that I'm grateful.

Todd: You're grateful that you got sick? Are you going to be grateful if it happens again? If it takes you away from me?

Tea: Of course not. I don't want to leave you.

Todd: Then, don't.

Tea: I can't control this. If I am sick again...

Todd: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

[Tea returns her attention to the ocean. Todd's heart breaks as he watches a tear flow down her cheek.]

Todd: You think you have it.

[Tea shakes her head slightly. She continues to face the ocean, wanting to avoid direct eye contact with him.]

Tea: There's something I haven't told you.

Todd: What's his name?

[Tea turns her head and stares at him with disbelief.]

Tea: There's no one else. How could you even question that?

Todd: People always screw me over...eventually.

Tea: Not me. You're the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life...however long that may be.

Todd: Why the tears?

Tea: I was thinking about someone. Not another man, though.

Todd: Your grandmother?

[Todd regrets mentioning her grandmother as the sadness on her face increases.]

Tea: There was a time that I could have stood here and not been affected by the beauty in front of me.

Todd: It's just a bunch of water.

Tea: Why did you want me to see this?

Todd: I didn't.

Tea: This is where you spent your time while we were apart. This means something to you. I know it does.

Todd: I blew it. I split on you. I broke every promise I made to you. I wasn't sitting out here every day enjoying the view.

Tea: But, this place gave you something.

Todd: I'm not like you. I don't get emotional about places.

Tea: Fine! I don't feel up to this task.

Todd: Now I'm a task?

Tea: Sometimes trying to reach you feels like an exhausting, hopeless task.

[Todd sits down in the sand. Tea seats herself next to him.]

Todd: I stared out at that water almost every day. Sometimes I imagined walking into it and disappearing forever. Other times, I pictured doing that family thing with you and our kids. Everybody was smiling. Nobody hated me.

Tea: None of us have ever hated you. We never will.

Todd: What do you see when you look out there?

[Tea is silent.]

Todd: What's going on, Tea?

Tea: You don't want to know.

Todd: Tell me anyway.

Tea: It's about the support group I joined on the internet. One of the members, Patty, died.

Todd: You never should have gotten hooked up with that thing.

Tea: They helped me.

Todd: I was trying to help you.

Tea: You were the greatest help to me. I needed to also communicate with people who were going through the same thing I was.

Todd: But, now you're thinking that you're doomed. That's why you're crying.

Tea: I'm crying because I lost a friend.

Todd: A friend? You never even met her, unless you lied to me about that, too.

Tea: I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you, because I knew it would affect you like this.

Todd: Affect me? I never even met the chick. Neither did you.

Tea: I may not have met her in person, but I certainly got to know her quite well.

Todd: It sucks that some stranger didn't make it, but you will.

Tea: She wasn't a stranger. She was a sweet lady with a great sense of humor who, no matter how horrible I felt, could make me laugh with her words. I remember her saying that she had never seen an ocean. It was one of the things she wanted to do someday, but never did.

Todd: It's just a bunch of water, anyway.

Tea: To you, maybe. To her, it was a goal.

Todd: It was a stupid goal.

[Tea stands up. Todd quickly stands up and takes hold of her arm, keeping her from walking away.]

Todd: You know I'm not good at this junk. If it was your grandmother you were this upset about, I could at least understand that. I don't get how you can be so bummed about someone you never even met.

Tea: When I found out the treatments had worked, I posted my good news. Those strangers celebrated the same way they would have if I had been their sister, or a life-long friend. It didn't matter that none of us knew what the others looked like. When one of us wins, we all win. When one of us loses...

Todd: That's just it...now you're thinking you'll lose just because some stranger did.

Tea: You've made it clear that you have no respect for my support group. Could you at least refrain from referring to them as strangers?

Todd: After I bailed on you, if you had turned to strangers, I could have understood. But, I don't get why I wasn't enough for you when I was around and trying to be everything you needed me to be.

Tea: Is that the problem? You're jealous?

Todd: I should have been all you needed.

Tea: When you posted on the internet about your childhood...

Todd: You're the one who made me do that.

Tea: You appreciated the support you received, didn't you?

Todd: I never went to that thing again.

Tea: Maybe you should have. Maybe you wouldn't feel so isolated, if you would allow yourself to share with people who know exactly what you're going through. Maybe then you could understand how I could form a bond with people I've never seen.

Todd: I thought I was doing it right. You should have told me if I wasn't.

Tea: I wasn't replacing you.

Todd: That's not what it felt like sometimes.

Tea: I'm sorry. But, you're wrong. I didn't need a support group because of anything you did, or didn't do.

Todd: Why would you need anyone else when you've got me?

Tea: Why do you need Viki?

Todd: That's totally different.

Tea: Because you know what she looks like, and the sound of her voice?

Todd: She's my sister.

Tea: Maybe I needed a sister, too.

Todd: I'll share Viki with you. You don't have to go to strangers.

Tea: I won't stop participating in my support group.

Todd: Because you think you've got it again.

Tea: Because, even if I don't, I've come to care about the other people in that group. They helped me when I needed it. I intend to be there helping them when they need my support.

Todd: I could have helped you. I tried.

Tea: You refuse to hear me.

Todd: I hear you.

Tea: What about Carlotta? Were you jealous of my needing her support, too?

Todd: That's different. She's like your mom. Besides, if she wasn't around I would have been stuck eating your cooking.

Tea: Can you accept that I need my support group?

Todd: Are you going to stop hiding stuff about it from me?

Tea: If you want to know all the details...

Todd: Not all, just the stuff that makes you cry.

[Tea places her arms around him.]

Tea: I need you. Nothing will ever change that.

Todd: It better not.

to be continued...

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2002 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA






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