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ASK THE AUTHOR SHADY




General Questions
(Editor's Note: Duplicate questions were combined to avoid repetition.)


Before I get to the Q&A, I just want to take a moment to thank Louise…for asking me to be involved in the ‘Ask the Author’ feature…I can’t tell you how flattered I am to be included. And thanks to everyone who helps make the FL Homepage such a wonderful site.
And lastly, thanks to everyone whose questions are included here…and everyone who takes the time to read the stuff I write. I hope I make it worth your while. Shady


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Do you like to write?
Yeah, I do. I used to do a lot of creative writing in high school, and I really enjoyed it. But it was something I’d forgotten about for a long time. Writing TNT fanfic reminded me how much fun it can be.

Would you say that Tea is the heroine in your stories as opposed to Todd being the central character? Or do you think that you write more from a 'couple' perspective?
Well…it’s a little tough to say, because I write on the fly, for the most part. A lot of times what’ll happen, is that I’ll see a scene through the eyes of either Tea, or Todd, and I’ll write it that way. Sometimes a story will start out focused on one of them, like ‘Elsewhere’ for example, which started out being about Tea. And I used to think I wrote for Tea, but only because I didn’t feel I knew Todd’s character well enough.

But really, it’s two of them as a couple…that’s where the real magic is. This is not to say that I write from a ‘couple’ perspective, though…y’know, the two of them as one inseparable unit…because a lot of what I’ve done is with the two of them apart. I’d like to think that what I do is focus on each one of them, equally. (I hope that’s what I do. LOL!)

What gets your creative juices flowing?
Usually, I get inspired when the show’s writing really pisses me off. That’s what got me going in the first place (and keeps me going now, LOL). But I think music inspires me most…I have to have the CD player going when I write…it keeps me focused.

Do you use TnT tapes for inspiration in your writing?
Not really, no. I have a few tapes, but I don’t watch them very often…because I find that it just makes me even more depressed that they’re not onscreen now, LOL! But as far as writing fanfic goes, I only use the tapes when I need to quote them, or refer to past events.

Are any of your stories harder to write than another?
Each of them had, or has their difficulties at times…but I don’t think there’s one that’s been consistently hard to work through.

Are any of these stories closer to your heart than another?
No, I don’t think so. I’ve had so much fun with all of them.

I know that as a fanfic reader there are times I wish the writers had come up with stories like yours for TnT (nearly always actually). Are any of your stories secretly the way you really "wish" it was (or had been) for them?
Yeah…just about ALL OF THEM. LOL!!! And not just mine, either…I mean, when you look at the sheer amount of TNT fanfic there is on the web, it’s mind-boggling. And almost all of them take a different, and better road than the show did…and almost all of the authors know the characters better than the show’s writers do. I just wish they would read some of these really wonderful stories…and take the hint.

When you write, does your finished product tend to vary much from your original theme? Or do you stick to the vision you had for your story from the beginning?
Well…the thing is that I don’t usually write with a vision or theme for the entire story. I start with a single scene, or a line of dialogue that pops into my head…and I’ll go from there. I guess it’s kinda like a round-robin thing, except that I’m the only one writing…LOL! The story develops as I go along, and as a result, I’m often surprised at the directions it’ll go in. But that’s what keeps it fun for me.
The only story that’s a little different is ‘Art of the Dark.’ That one does have a theme…the idea of dark, mystical forces at work in TNT’s relationship, from both the outside and the inside. But it doesn’t really change the way I work, though…I just have to keep the idea in mind as I write.

Do you ever find yourself 'painting yourself into a corner in a story,' then saying, "I don't really know how they'd react to this?"
Yes! I guess that’s the downside to writing instinctively. Quite a few times, I’ve gone to start the next part of a story, and I’ll go over what I did in the previous parts, and be like… “oh, sh%$…why did I do that?” And then I’ll be stuck for a while, trying to work it through. I can usually think of a decent way to continue if I leave it alone for a while, and work on something else. I think ‘Missing’ is the only story I haven’t been able to do that with; and even with that one, I think I’ll be able to continue and finally finish it at some point. It’s just that I’m too distracted by what the show is doing right now, LOL!

Do you have a chapter or passage out of any of the chapters that's your personal favorite? Or do you have a favorite story of the ones you've written?
I don’t have a favorite story…but there are sections in each story that I’m really proud of. I guess if I had to name one, it’s in ‘Elsewhere,’ the part where Todd and Tea see each other for the first time. I remember wanting to make a point of making that moment last for as long as possible…because so much of what made TNT special, were the looks between them. Both RH & FL have this wonderful way of communicating their emotions without speaking…especially with each other. I wanted to capture that…and I was so happy with the way it turned out.

Is there any part of any story that you're not particularly pleased with? Are you a severe critic of your own work? Are you a perfectionist who does a lot of rewrites or do you work solely from inspiration?
Well, I think there’s at least one point in each chapter of each story, where I’ve gone back and reread it after posting it, and gone, “eww…that could’ve been better.” But I don’t criticize myself much, and I’m not a perfectionist when it comes to this stuff. I mean, I make sure that everything makes sense, and that there aren’t any grammar or spelling mistakes (not that I haven’t missed things, LOL!). And I’ll change things around and revise as I go along…but I’ll leave things alone once I think they’re done.'
If I’m particular about anything, it’s dialogue. (Cabbie could tell you that, LOL!) It’s important to me that it always sounds natural, because if I can’t hear those words coming out of that character’s mouth, it distracts me and takes me out of the story immediately. And even though I know that the daytime dramas have always had terribly written dialogue for the most part, it doesn’t mean that the fanfic has to be that way.
All that said, though…I try not to overwork. Because I write so instinctively, I try to leave as much of it intact as I can. And besides, I think the whole idea behind writing fanfic is to have fun… and if you’re constantly criticizing yourself, or constantly revising and stressing over it, you’re not having fun.

Are you still watching OLTL? With TnT not currently onscreen how does that affect your writing?
Yes, unfortunately I am still watching. I tape the show and fast-forward through most of it, it’s so painfully bad. I guess I’m always hoping against all hope that the characters will grow some brains and some depth…and that the storylines will suddenly get better. Fat chance, I know…I guess I’m a glutton for punishment. And not having TNT onscreen is just depressing, no doubt…especially with this horrible T&B stuff now. Sometimes it bums me out to the point where I don’t feel like writing at all, and I’ll be stuck for a while.

What do you do when you feel "writers block?" Any magic tricks?
The only real trick I have is to walk away from the story for a while. I won’t look at it for a few days or a week or sometimes longer… and then I’ll go back and reread it. That usually works, because it gives me a chance to clear my head. Then I can look at the story again, and be more objective. Listening to music also helps…just about everything I hear reminds me of TNT.

Do you write for yourself or do you write for your readers?
I write for myself. It’s what I enjoy doing, and it’s my personal therapy. Of course, I always hope that anyone who reads my stuff will enjoy it, and have as much fun reading it as I had writing it.

Do you ever use personal experiences in your writing?
No, not really…my life isn’t nearly as exciting (and that’s fine with me, LOL). But what I will do a lot, is ask myself what I would do or say, if I were in the same situation as the character; and a lot of times I go with it.

Do you write any other stories besides TnT ones?
No…I’m having so much fun with these characters, that I have no desire to write anything else at the moment.

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Elsewhere and Longest Week Questions


You write the DID as real in this story. Did you think it was real on the show?
Oh, the dreaded DID…well…I think I should spend a little time explaining before I answer that. I was only occasionally watching the show when TNT’s storyline was going on…and I didn’t get hooked on them until they were practically over. I knew a little about Tea, and liked her…but I knew almost nothing about Todd. So I got online, found all the sites, ordered a few tapes, and started learning the backstory.
By this time, I think I had already started ‘Elsewhere.’ I focused on Tea, because the show was butchering her character something awful after RH left…and it really pissed me off. But when I discovered that Todd was this unbelievably complex character, with years of history and a huge following…I wanted to stop writing. I was so intimidated, because I didn’t think I could do him justice. But at the same time, I hadn’t written anything in so long, and I was having fun with the stuff I was coming up with. So what I did was, I kept Todd out of the story as long as I could, so I’d have time to get comfortable with writing again. And I kept watching the few episodes I had on tape, the last ones RH was in, to get more familiar with him.
As far as the DID goes, I always thought he was faking it, because among other things, he fully admits to Viki that he chose that particular disorder because she had it, and he knew it would win her sympathy and support. That pretty much said to me, right there, that he knew exactly what he was doing. But what was even more interesting was the very last episode he was in, where he sees all of his so-called personalities…when he’s alone. A very vague ending…but it helped me to decide how to handle the situation in the story.
I decided to make the DID real for Todd, BUT…with the catch that he didn’t know he had it, at the time he was faking it…and it didn’t really manifest itself until he left town. Now I’m not a psychiatrist by any stretch, but I think that explanation reconciles a lot of inconsistencies in the show’s story…and makes Todd’s behavior make a lot more sense. I know it was much easier for me to write for him once I made that decision.

I love your action scenes. The kidnapping/rescuing of Starr in Elsewhere was particularly well done. (If they kidnapped the kid Starr is now on the show it would be like The Ransom Of Red Chief...they'd pay to bring her back...LOL) Is it difficult writing the action scenes?
Thanks! I think action RULES…most of my favorite movies are ones with heavy action. I don’t find writing those scenes difficult, but they do take a while to complete, because a lot of times I have to be able to visualize a particular space in order to make the action work. Like in ‘Elsewhere,’ when Starr is rescued…in my mind, I had to be able to see the motel and the space around it. I had to figure out what kind of motel it was, how it was laid out, etc. So it always takes a little more time to get through those scenes…but I just love writing them.

You wrote the most amazingly romantic 'first time' scene for Todd and Tea in this story. It was so warm and funny and incredibly sexy. Are the 'romantic' scenes easier to write than the action ones?
Thanks again…I really appreciate that. It was the first sex scene I’d ever written, and I wasn’t sure about it at all. But I’m glad that what you remember is the warmth and the humor, as much as the act itself.
I tend to shy away from sex scenes, for two reasons: one, because I don’t want the stuff I write to be built around them doing it every five minutes; and two, because I find them to be the most difficult scenes to write well. I mean, it’s easy enough to describe what goes on when a couple is having sex…but it’s how to bring across the emotional connection and the intimacy of making love, without being offensive or gross…that’s what’s really difficult.

You created some wonderful new characters for this story - Joely and Dean...interesting and complex characters and they fit really well with well-known ones from OLTL. Are your creations easier to write for than TnT? Or more fun?
Hmmm…that’s a toughie. I would say that most of the time, it is easier, and more fun, to write for original characters, because you’re not bound to a past history or a personality that’s already been established. But…sometimes it’s harder, for those same reasons, if the characters become more important to the story. You have no past history or established behavior to reference, so you have to come up with it. And then once you do, you have to make sure you remain consistent…and as true to your originals as you are to the other characters, even though they’re evolving on you.
I found this to be especially true with Dean. I thought I had him pretty well established in my own mind; but when I started ‘Art of the Dark’ with Cabbie and had to describe him to her, I had a b!tch of a time doing it, LOL! So we just had to take some time to figure him out…and now, we both have a much clearer picture of who he is, so we can both write more easily.

What or who is your inspiration for Dean Shelton? I love that character, and have heard that sometimes authors have an actor or some person in their family, or a friend, in mind as an inspiration when they create a new character.
Thanks! I have to admit that I’ve grown to love Dean just as much as TNT…he’s become so much more than I ever imagined, and I’m always so happy when people tell me how much they dig him, even though they hate him at the same time, LOL!!
Dean didn’t really have a face in my mind when I was writing ‘Elsewhere.’ (Or a name…LOL!) I was only concerned with his personality at the time, and I didn’t think he was going to be coming back after the story was over. So I didn’t get too wrapped up in his looks. But then when I started coming up with the idea for LW, I realized he was going to become a major player. So everything about him evolved as I wrote the story…I started to see the face of a guy I knew from work, but only because he happened to match the few physical traits I was describing.
Actually, it was Cabbie who helped me to place a definite face to this character. Like I said above, we spent some time sort-of studying him when we started ‘Art,’ and it was during that time that she was able to recognize the face that *I* couldn’t see for so long. Once she suggested the name, it was like, BANG! Everything fell into place, and all of a sudden, we both knew exactly who we were talking about.
Now after all that build-up, you’d think I was about to say whom that is, right? Well, guess what…I’m not going to. And I’m not trying to make a big secret out of it, really. I just think it’s actually better if I don’t say. Because anyone who’s been reading the story, whether they’ve started from the beginning or just started with ‘Art,’ already has a picture of Dean in their own mind…a picture they’ve become accustomed to, a picture that they like. And I don’t want to destroy that personal image for anyone. It’s just like when you see a movie made out of a book you’ve read…and the actors playing the roles don’t match the people you’ve been seeing in your head at all. It kind of ruins the whole experience, and I don’t want to risk doing that to anyone. Besides, it doesn’t really matter to me how anyone perceives Dean’s, or Joely’s, or any original character’s appearance. Their looks will never be as important as their personalities.

Why twins?
LOL!!! That is an excellent question…and I wish I had some great, lofty explanation as to the deep symbolism of Tea having twins. But the truth is I just thought it’d be cool.

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Missing Questions

In "Missing", Todd returned to Llanview looking for Tea, who had vanished. We find later that they separated after a disastrous night in bed that seems to have scared the hell out of both of them. With Todd's history this is a natural story point to explore, but most fanfiction authors don't want to go there. Were you at all nervous about going into sexual violence issues with TnT?
Oh, yeah, definitely. I completely understand why a lot of authors won’t touch it. When we think of TNT’s relationship, naturally we only want to think about the good things. We don’t want to dwell on the fact that Todd’s a convicted rapist. Because as soon as you even say that, you have to remember how screwed up a person has to be, to do something so horrible.
I think there’s a tendency to forget about all that with Todd…a tendency to…I guess, deify him, in a way. I know I’m not immune…I find myself doing it from time to time. We tend to overlook all the terrible things he does, and relieve him of all responsibility…because he’s a victim of abuse, because he’s the dark antihero that we’re all rooting for…and because we know that he has the potential, and the desire, to be a better person. But even though all of that is true, and very much a part of who he is…it’s not everything that he is. And while I understand that nobody wants to think of him as just ‘the bad guy,’ because he’s more complicated than that…at the same time, he is a person who does really awful things to people, often times with very little regard for the consequences.
And as far as Tea’s concerned, you have to ask yourself how smart she really is, to keep going back to someone who’s capable of that kind of cruelty. And on top of that, she has plenty of her own issues, not the least of which is her tendency to equate sex with love.
Now, you put all that together, and…well…as much I want TNT to ride off into the sunset together…it’s just not a terribly realistic view. As sad as it is to think about, it’s a lot more likely that they would end up falling apart. That said, though, I think a lot of what makes their story so beautiful, and so engaging, is their constant struggle to overcome their fears, and try to make it work. And as much tragedy as there is in their story, there’s just as much hope. So while I agree that dealing with all the darkness inherent in TNT’s story is frightening, I also think it’s important…because it’s being true to who the characters are.

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Art Of The Dark Questions

First of all do you enjoy writing with Cabbie?
I don’t enjoy collaborating with Cabbie…I absolutely love it!! I remember when I finished ‘Longest Week,’ I had no real urge to continue writing. I figured if I was ever going to pick up where LW left off, it’d have to take a pretty different direction…and it would also have to be a collaboration, because I didn’t feel like handling the whole load. So I took a chance and asked Cabbie, because we’re pretty close…and I’m so glad I did, because I can’t imagine ever doing this story without her.
We work so well together, because we think so much alike when it comes to TNT. It relates to the ‘Missing’ question above…while a lot of fanfic authors tend to steer clear of the darker aspects of their relationship, Cab and I go for them head on…because that’s what we find the most fascinating, and the most fun to write about. Also, Cabbie has helped me take the story even farther than I would have gone by myself; and as a result, the story is even better than I imagined. We’re both having a blast, and we’re both really proud of what we’ve done so far.

This story is definitely living up to its name so far! Is this story meant to be rather frightening? How dark is it possible to take a TnT fanfic?
Oh yeah, that’s exactly what we want…dark, tension-filled, torture-filled, and scary. Personally, I don’t think there’s a limit as to how dark it can get…I think there is only the question of how far the author is willing to go.

Will the Stockholm Syndrome-like connection between Tea and Dean be continuing in this sequel?
Yes, it will!! Don’t get us wrong, we love our TNT dearly. But the relationship between Tea and Dean is making for some excellent tension…and Cab and I are both tension junkies, so, don’t expect the ties to be cut anytime soon.

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Get It Back Questions


I couldn't tell from the way you began this...did Todd and Blair sleep together before this story began or not? If so, please tell me Blair won't be pregnant.
Well, my writing is spur of the moment…I take it from one event and go from there. But it is my intention to try and deal with all the stupid things Todd has been doing since he returned, including sleeping with Blair. This is going to make things difficult as it is, so I don’t need to add anyone getting pregnant on top of it…that’s the last thing I want to deal with.

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Just For Fun


Couldn't you resurrect Sykes so you can kill him one more time??? OHHH how I hate that man!
Actually, I think I did bring him back…it’s just that his name is Colin McIver now. LOL!

What's your favorite fanfic written by another author?
There are so many great stories out there, many of which I don’t get a chance to read…but I have a few that I really like: Cabbie’s ‘Edge of Wakefulness’ and ‘Staying on Top’; and Kp and M&M gal’s ‘Cast No Shadow.’

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Shady's talent as an author leaves me floored in every installment of every series that she takes on as she weaves complex and entertaining stories with every single element at the top of its 'written' game. She writes characterizations of Todd, Tea, and those characters already created that are so real that they step off the pages and take on the voices of Florencia Lozano, Roger Howarth. How easily they could, and how I wish the actors could step right into her words and her stories as I read!
Those characters that she has created within her stories are written so that they become every bit as 'alive', dynamic, and multi-dimensional in my minds eye as the main characters. Specifically, "Dean," her own creation in her Longest Week/Elsewhere series, is a fascinating enigma of a character study: bad, but circumstances have made him both captor and savior and that contradiction which causes a strange, sympathetic, and dangerous power for Tea reaches out the the reader with that same power in a way that places us into the same dilemma. There's amazing skill and talent as a writer all wrapped up into that.
Relationships and circumstances with other characters, be it a psycho Colin or a comrade RJ are so well handled that it leaves me wishing I could see them echoed just like that on-screen someday. From well written and very complex stories, wonderful description and created 'atmospheres', internal drama and thoughts, amazing action sequences that have brought the fitting nickname Shady Bruckheimer, her stories entertain and impact at every level as they take me into the lives of my favorite fictional twosome, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to read her visions!
~m&m~
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