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"HEY!" He shouted.

"I saw and heard what you did and said." Brett growled. "That was a stupid risk that you took with Kathryn's life. It's her first time out here and you could have very well gotten her killed!"

"Calm down. She's alive isn't she." Paul replied.

"If I ever see you play with her life like that again, I'll shoot you myself." He said. He glared at John. "Some brother you are." He let Paul go and went to the window and exchanged fire with the enemy.

I just sunk to the floor and buried my head in my hands. No matter how much I told myself not to I couldn't stop shaking.

"Kathryn," Brett said to me. "I know you're scared, but I really need your help over here."

I looked up at him, still shaking.

"You can shoot from here where it's safest. I'll try to draw most of the fire away from you." He said. "But, I really need you here."

Marc-Andre said "Some time in the very near future would be nice." without looking away from what he was shooting at.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the place Brett was talking about. I positioned myself and went to pull the triggor. But I couldn't. If I did I'd kill another person. I didn't like that. I didn't want that. So instead I just knelt there not knowing what to do.

"Kathryn, come on!" John said from his position. "You wanted this so bad, now do something!"

I gritted my teeth and pulled the triggor. He and Paul were getting on my nerves, I'd do this just to get them off my back. The bullet flew from the gun and hit the wall not the solder I'd been aiming at. Darn!

"Hold the gun a little tighter." Marc-Andre said. "Fire in short bursts of two or three bullets."

By this time, Captain Gibson and the others began their attack and the enemy was pushed back. After what seemed like forever, we reclaimed the neighbourhood and new squads were deployed while we returned to base.

I walked over to my bunk jumped up on it and faced the wall. Trying to block out the others and how badly the day had gone.

"You were pathetic out there!" I heard Paul mutter as he walked past to his bunk.

My shoulders stiffened but I ignored him.

I heard a knock at the door. "Kathryn, you in there?" I heard Brett call.

"Yeah" I mumbled quietly.

Miraculously he heard me.

"You ok in there?"

"Fine" I mumbled.

"Alright, if you need me, I'll be with Marc-Andre in the mess hall." He said. I heard him walking off.

Since the Captain had refused to give me any special treatment for being a girl I was stuck in the same dorm as the guys. And right now I was stuck in the same room as Paul. Great!

There was silence in the room for quiet some time. But I could hear Paul breathing on his bunk which was below mine and on the other side of the room, there was small hallway in between. Too close for comfort if you ask me.

I was facing the wall so I couldn't see him. But I had the feeling someone was watching me. I sighed and rolled over, resting my head in my hands I glanced down. Sure enough he was watching me.

"Yes?!" I asked testily.

He looked a little unsure of himself "Um, I'm sorry about what I did this morning. I wasn't thinking. Your being angry at me was starting to get to me and I... I just wasn't thinking. I'm sorry"

I didn't say anything. Just concentrated on a dot on the wall above his head.

"Is there any way that I can make it up to you?" He asked me when I didn't answer.

I still didn't answer, just stared at the bunk above mine.

"Kathryn" He whispered quietly "KATHRYN!"

"I don't know" I answered.

"You could have gotten me killed!" I shot out. "You thought it was funny!"

"I know." He almost whispered. "I feel really bad about it."

I turned so I was facing him again "Please don't do it again. I want to be here can't you just respect that?"

"I just wanted you to see that this isn't the place for you. It gets worse than what we went through today." He said.

"I'm up for the challenge." I replied.

"You always were stubborn" he said with a small smile.

I smiled back.

John came into the barracks and sat down on his bunk. "We're being transfered. Brett, Marc-Andre, You, Paul and I are being sent to this Sierra City."

"Where's that?" I asked.

"Just outside LA from what I hear. Maybe an hour's drive." Then he smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" Paul asked out of intruigue.

"I was just remembering the happy dances Brett and Marc-Andre were doing." He chuckled.

"Happy dance?" I asked.

"Brett'll get to see his girlfriend and Marc-Andre his best friend, They live there" He explained.

"Ooooooooh!" I said with a smile.


I'm happy and I'm nervous..

"Calm down!" Brett said from his bunk. "What are you so nervous about?"

"What makes you think I'm nervous?" I said.

"You're about to wear a long hole in the floor." He joked

I stopped pacing "Oh" I said.

"Seriously. What are you so nervous about? I thought you'd be happy to see Ashley"

Could I tell him about my kissing Ashley before I left? He was my best-guy-friend after all. I started pacing without noticing as I thought of a decision to my dillema.

"MARC!" Brett said. Sometimes he would call me by just Marc.

"WHAT!" I yelled back jokingly.

"You're doing it again!" He said.

I looked down and saw myself pacing. "Oh." I said sheepishly.

"Just tell me what it is." Brett said,

"Well, After I said good-bye to you and Mk. I said good-bye to Ashley and..."

"You kissed her didn't you?" He interrupted.

I glanced up surprised "How did you know?"

"She was acting really weird when she came back. So.. I just guessed"

"I don't know how to act when I get back." I said. "I don't know how she'll act." I paced around again. "I don't know what to do!"

"Just do what I do." He said.

'I'm afraid to ask' I thought to myself. "What do you do?" I said.

"Just let things happen as they may."

"Of course" I said. I was silent for a moment then asked a question that had been resting on my mind since the day it happened "Am I a bad person? Like, I kissed her a week after her boyfried, one of my close friends, died!"

Brett sat there and considered for a minute. "Well..." he said. "He did ask you to take care of her..." he thought some more. "What do you think Matt would think? Like, if he appeared to you, what do you think he would say?"

I shrugged "I really don't know" I rubbed my head tiredly "I'm tired. I"m gonna try to get some sleep"

"K. Night"

"Night" I climbed up into my bunk and tried to sleep.

I dreamed of Ashley and she was standing there smiling at me. I also heard a voice call. "Marc-Andre." The voice said. I knew who it was right away.

"Matt?" I said.

He appeared and nodded with a smile.

"It's good to see you again." I said, and then looked down.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked me.

"I feel like I betrayed you. I kissed Ashley less than a week after... you know."

He sounded like he was laughing. "Don't worry my friend." He smiled. "All I want is for Ashley to be happy. I know you and I know you will take good care of her like I asked you."

I felt relieved, but still guilty.

"I have to go now." He said.

"Don't go." I said sadly.

"I'll always watch over you." He said. "Say hi to Ashley, Mary-Kate and Brett for me." He said as he vanished.

I woke up and sat up in bed.

"You ok?" Brett said, kneeling by my bunk.

I smiled at him. "Matt says hi."

He was a little surprised and then smiled. He went back to his bunk and I heard his whisper "Hi Matt."

Chapter 55

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