1. I'll always remember...
Memories are like jewels. Sparkling emeralds in a sea of facts and wisdom. Though sometimes they fade, and maybe for a time are forgotten, they're something you'll never really lose. Something you can hold on to no matter what.
It is that fact which urged me to take the time to share with you, what is to me my most precious jewel.
An unforgettable story
A dream
A fairytale
You were all by yourself...
'Silence is golden' and 'solitude is sweet', but for me, at age 16, they were two things I rather disliked. My life was a whirlwind of friends and foes. A admit that I was rather shellow, choosing a life of frivulous fun, to one of awareness of a world outside of mine.
So when Scott, a quite, cold, and silent boy started attending my school. I had little understanding. But, a lot of curiosity.
I didn't understand him. When I would spend lunch hour talking with my friends he would spend it either reading or studying. When I would spend my time hanging out at the mall and going to movies. He would opt to spend his volunteering at food kitchens and the like.
I did have an appreciation for such unselfishness, but no understanding.
So, why was I drawn to this boy? Why did I find it so importand to know and understand him.
In Places no one could find...
Friday night, and I'm off to a party. After like an hour of careful deliberation I had finally chosen my outfit. A car horn sounded outside and I raced out to meet my friends.
"Great outfit Ash" My friend Liz said with a highfive.
"Thanks" I grinned "3 weeks saving but I finally got the new skirt I wanted!"
Yup, the ultimate goal, the dream I lived for. Was the next posession. The next outfit. To keep up with the trends, was something I spent every penny on. To look back now, it's something I'm not so proud of.
We soon arrived at the party and headed inside. Needless to say I was rather surprised to see Scott sitting on the couch talking to a fellow classmate. He'd been at the school for a month now. And this was the first party I'd seen him at. Believe me I would have seen him if he'd been there, I NEVER missed a party.
Almost as if he sensed my presence Scott glanced up, he noticed my outfit, which was the newest and the coolest you could get. But unlike everyone else, he didn't seem to think it cool. In fact he kind of looked sad. Why? Sure, the thing had been expensive but it was my money! I really didn't understand that boy.
Shrugging it off, I went over to talk to my friends and proceeded to enjoy myself and forget about Scott. Something I achieved, at least for awhile. That is until he came over and stood by me. I was rather surprised, and for once in my life didn't know what to say. So I just looked out the window, into the moonlit garden, and waited for him to say something. I didn't have to wait long.
"So, you come to these parties often?" He asked.
I turned to face him "Every week" I said with a smile.
He frowned.
"You don't come very often do you?" I asked.
"Parties aren't exactly my thing"
"Then what is?" I asked
He smiled and what proceeded was probably the most intelligent conversation I'd had in a long time. And I discovered something. This guy was not only cute but extremely intelligent (he planned on being a Doctor) and very nice. And even tho we were very different I had the feeling we were going to be friends. I guess he saw something in me that no one else did. Something that not even I knew about.
Dark Grey Sky...
"Yo! Scott you here?" I asked walking in the front door. It was a couple of weeks since the party and Scott and I had arranged to study for a Science test together.
"In here" Came a rather a choked response.
I followed his voice and found him watching tv. "Watcha doing in here? We're supposed to be studying" I said with a smile.
"I was just watching the news" he said motioning to the tv.
I turned to the screne portraying a scene of devastation in some far of nation. The voiceover was talking about starvaytion in a third world nation or something.
"Why would you want to watch this depressing stuff" I said grabbing his hand and pulling him up "We need to study"
He just gave me a sad look.
One that to this day I can't forget. It was a face of wisdom and sadness far beyond his years.
Moment I saw you cry...
The news was buzzing around the school, I didn't pay much attention. 'Keep current affairs in curren affairs class' was my motto. I'd much rather discuss fashion or movies then starvation and wars.
I pushed through throngs of people and eventually spotted Scott sitting on teh school steps...crying. Honestly, crying in front of everybody. I rushed over to him.
"Are you ok?" I asked sitting down next to him.
His response was muffled as he had his head buried in his hand. "Not really" was his answer.
"What happened?" I asked
"Didn't you hear?"
"Hear what?"
"There was a suicide bombing in Israel. 30 people died"
I had heard about that, but I chose not to think about it. Chose to think it didn't affect me, that it was a whole world away. But, looking around I saw that it did effect me.
I was changed...
How could I have been so selfish? So shellow? So uncaring?
People were dying. And I didn't care. I'd hear these stories and tune out. Not even shed a tear for someone going through so much.
I changed forever that day.
Though there was nothing wrong with the way I had been living, it was perfectly normal, it wasn't the way I wanted to remain.
From then on instead of spending all my money on clothes. I'd donate portions to people in need.
Instead of spending all my time on myself. I would volunteer alongside Scott, weekly.
It was a change for the better.
Changed don't go unnoticed though.
Always the cold one...
"What do you mean you're not coming tonight?" My friend, Akira, was truly amazed that I'd decided to miss a party.
"It's just a party. I don't need to go." It was hard to believe the words coming out my mouth. But they were out there now. Floating around. Announcing the new me to a world that found it hard to believe.
"ASHLEY! What happened to you?"
"I just don't want to go"
"Is this to do with that Scott guy? You've been spending so much time with him"
"You make it sound like it's a crime."
"He's weird Ashley"
"He's great. And I'm sorry you can't see that. I've gotta go. Bye" The click of the phone hanging up, resounded around the room. At the time a very satisfying, triumphant, sound. I smiled and turned to Scott who'd been waiting in the other room. "You ready to go?"
That was my first of many fridays spent volunteering at the local soup kitchen. I was happy with the way my life was going. In fact I'd never been happier.
I was never that sure...
"Ok, I wanna know what's going on and I want to know now" Akira stormed over to meat school the following Monday.
"Hello to you too"
She glanced over to where Scott was talking with some friends. She then glanced at me "What's with the outfit?"
I glanced down, my outfit was not up to the usual standard. I discovered that morning how much extra time you have when you don't spend an hour deciding what to wear. "Like it?"
"It's so...boring!"
I shrugged, surprised that I didn't care what she thought. "I've gotta go to class. See ya round" I said and started inside.
That was the beginning of the end of Akira and I's friendship. We drifted apart after that. Difference of opinion the major cause. I missed her at first. But soon made new friends, friends more suited to the new me.
Every day I changed until I was no longer the same person.
It was then that I realized...
More then a year went by and graduation day approached. Scott had his future planned out. He was heading to Harvard to train as a Doctor, then he planned to go overseas to somewhere in need of a Doctor. My life wasn't so dried in cut. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I eventually decided to train as a nurse. Everyone was surprised by that decision. Myself included. It wasn't logical. I didn't know why, but I knew it was what I was supposed to do. It's sometimes difficult for humans to see the whole picture. But someone else can. And he directed me in that decision.
I was very saddened at the thought of not seeing Scott every day. He'd been accepted to Harvard, and thought I had applied I didn't expect to be accepted. Only time would tell. But I was slowly realizing something. Scott wasn't just my best friend. He was a lot more.
Forever was in your eyes...
The moment of truth. The letter from Harvard was in my hands, now all I needed to do was summon up the courage to open it. Scott was waiting, my hands were shaking.
"I can't" I said shaking my head.
He took the envelope from me and tore it open. Shreds of paper fell to the floor. Similar to what was about to happen to my dreams, at least how my low self esteem portrayed it. Scotts eyes scanned the letter then looked over at me glowing. My heart skipped a beat...
"YOU MADE IT!" he shouted gleefully, he threw his arms around me. In shock I hugged him back. Was it some sort of cruel joke? Was it really happening?
He pulled back and took something from his pocket. He placed the object in my hand. I looked down. A black velvet box was resting in the palm of my hand.
"Will you marry me?"
The answer was clear to me, with not a trace of doubt in my mind. "I will!"
Everything, all right...
I have everything I wanted. I'm happier then I ever could have imagined. Living a life not everyone would enjoy, but to me is everything. I'm married to the love of my life. Helping people truly in need. Living a life that means something. I thank God every day for blessing me so much. I was changed 'the moment I saw you cry...'
Written by Kat inspired by Mandy Moore: Cry
2. You were all by yourself...
3. In Places no one could find...
4. Dark Grey Sky...
5. The moment I saw you cry...
6. I was changed...
7. Always the Cold One...
8. I was never that sure...
9. It was then that I realized...
10. That forever was in your eyes...
I'll always remember...
View My Guestbook
Sign My Guestbook