Cool Combacks
I MADE THE WORM SQUIRM!
There's this girl Patty in school who always has to be the center of attention. We were all at the Spring Formal having a good time, but she started sulking becuse I got mad props for my killer dance moves. Pats tried to cut in on the action with some weird version of the worm. But all she managed to muster were freaky convulsions on the floor. Some people wondered whether the girl was having a seizure, while the rest of us laughed at all the stuff that came flying out of her pockets:change, dirty tissues and a tampon. I couldn't resest putting the worm in her place: "Better squirm back to where you came from!"
ONE ROTTEN SURPRISE
I'm in a rock band called The Brats with my best bud Jackie. But our jam sessions feel less like Ozzfest and more like an episone of The Osbournes! Like, Jackie tried to turn the whole band against me because I'd made an itty bitty change to one of her songs. I got her back though. She'd left her bag at practioce, so I smeared the insides with some nasty mayo and cheese whiz that sat in the fridge wasy past their expiration dates. I handed her the bag at school the next day. When she opened it, the funkiest odor wafted out. Everybody asked what smelled so bad, so I just said, "Must be someone who's spoiled rotten!"
