Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a woman of wealth and taste. Well, if truth be told, my state is a penurious one, but my taste is impeccable, or so I've been told!
My name is Ruth Lebowitz, and I am publicist, unpaid ghost-writer, personal amanuensis, and abject slave to four celebrity- crazed kitties, Ditzy, Milo, Alison and Otie. All of my cats have their own websites, which have attracted a cult following on the internet.
I am the behind-the-scenes stage-mother, editing their sites, shamelessly promoting them, and answering their fan-mail, which believe me, is a full-time job!
How did this mild-mannered reporter metamorphose into "Ruth Lebowitz - Catgirl!"? Well, it happened like this...
One fine day, I found myself unceremoniously booted out of my home of many years, and found myself exiled to an apartment building on the wrong side of the tracks. To add insult to injury, this building had a "dogs verboten" policy. Now I had always classified the pet-loving population into two categories, "dog-people" and "cat-people". I was clearly a "dog-person", who envisioned cat-owners as those eccentric "cat-ladies" portrayed in the New Yorker cartoons, with basement apartments overflowing with a motley multitude of cats, as crazy-looking as their owners!
Mel Brooks once wrote - "We mock the things we are to be". In my case, this turned out to be prophetic. Missing the companionship of a pet, I finally decided to adopt a cat, since felines were allowed in my building. I made a visit to a local vet, who sent me home with a sweet-tempered tiger-striped tabbie named "Alison". My experience with Alison was so favorable, that in short-order, I adopted a brother and sister team, Milo and Otie. Milo was a handsome orange tabby cat, while Otie was a sweet and petite tuxedo kitty, with a serious penchant for furry mice. Soon a calico kitty named "Ditzy", was added to our happy mix, and my new life as a "cat-lady was definitely established.
I soon learned that you do not own cats. If you are fortunate, felines deign to live with you, providing you go along with the tacit understanding that you are their abject slave, who considers it an honor and a privilege to cater to their every whim and desire.
Inevitably, I joined the ranks of women who were owned by cats. I found myself in the pet aisle of the supermarket, discussing with other cat-ladies, the merits of Friskies Buffet Dinner versus the pricier Sheba "Succulent Crab in Aspic". You get the picture. I once was an interesting person whose conversation centered around the arts, literature, and current events. Now my biggest excitement was scoring cases of Friskies when Shop-Rite had their "Can-Can Sale"! Oh, how the mighty had fallen, and with a giant thud at that!
Since I was a writer, it seemed only logical to create homepages for my kitties. I wrote some stories for the Purina Cat Chow website, which were quite favorably received. Emboldened by these forays into cyberspace, I created websites for Ditzy, Alison, Milo and Otie. Before I knew it, my cats had become cyber-celebrities, and I was the human slave responsible for writing, editing and promoting their websites, activities I squeezed in between changing their litter-boxes, and filling interminable bowls with Meow Mix.
I was the behind-the-scenes drudge involved in the star-making machinery behind their feline cyber-celebrity.
Now Ditzy, Milo, Otie, and Alison are full-fledged cyber-stars, while I remain a relative nonentity on the net. As their agent and publicist, I answer their fan-mail and screen their phone-calls, while they "take meetings" and sign autographs at public-appearances. Milo and Ditzy are writing screenplays, while Otie and Alison are embroiled in negotiations with Ralston Purina. So what's it like being an abject slave to four feline megalomaniacs? Actually, it's quite wonderful.
I adore my famous felines, and have learned that there are far worse fates than being a "cat-lady". Just take it from me!
Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!
Meet Ditzy Lebowitz - Cyberkitty!
Ditzy Lebowitz - Awards Galore!
Please Vote for Ditzy Lebowitz at The Site Fights!*